Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2/7/24

We wrapped up last week with Kyle having to try really hard, and needing to break out those acting chops, to pretend that she gives two fucks about Sutton’s little breakdown.

Sutton is tying Merce’s ash ceremony, her divorce form several years ago, (in which she walked away with 300g/month in alimony) and her dad’s suicide, all together causing her to unravel and for some reason wants Kyle to console her? Not one of her actual friends, Crystal and Garcelle.

I don’t know, whatever, it’s Housewives, we have to roll with it. I’m finding myself pretty impressed with Kyle.

I’ve never seen this impressive of acting abilities from her. Usually we can all tell when she’s faking scenes, (‘acting’) but here you almost think she really gives a fuck. She must have been practicing when the cameras were down.

She doesn’t give two fucking shits about Sutton. She doesn’t give two shits about anybody. This is why Mario no longer gives two shits about her.

It’s curious that Sutton lost her dad’s ashes from moving ‘so many times’ (like how many times did she move?) but hung onto Merce’s. And how do you ‘lose’ ashes? Aren’t they usually kept in some kind of decorative urn that you guard with your life?? Not in ziploc bags??

Honestly, I don’t even think that Kyle is listening.

You guys have to pay attention to Kyle, how she never ever stops stroking and making love to her hair.

Okay, here we go. The Merce ash spreading/throwing ceremony, whatever, which is at the ocean, where they’re frequently held, in which there is frequently a breeze. In which you can easily see which way the breeze is blowing. I just wanted to point that out very quickly. Also I bet the camera crew saw this coming, but kept quiet. Love those guys.

And again, not to beat a dead Merce (haha just thought of that) but why is Kyle is being so nice to Sutton?

This has to be some sort of set-up. Probably pulling an Erika. Being all nice to her so she lets her guard down, then unleash some kind of senseless bullshit and make her cry. Kyle does not randomly hug people.

After everyone is sufficiently covered in Merce dirt, it’s time for the ladies to announce something that they intend to ‘let go of.’ I’m not really upset about who seemed to get the worst of it. Serves her right for ordering Annmarie to attack Sutton about her health issue, and claim it’s not real. Karma keeps knocking on Kyle’s door, and I’m not hating it.

Garcelle – feeling alone, which I think was a subtle fuck you to Annmarie for her snarky comment about her being single. I guess she seriously thinks she won’t one day be divorced. So cute.

Crystal – this shit about her brother having to leave, and live on the other side of the world to get away from her and her mother. That’s embarrassing. I can see why she wants to let that go.

Annmarie – who cares. Go home to your ‘amazing husband’ who refers to you as an 8 ½. I think he’s generous. I give her a 2 ½.

Dorit– Gee, wonder what hers is.

Erika – shut the fuck up. Yeah it’s all of the women’s faults you’re a greedy self-absorbed, unaware idiotic mother fucker. Woman your ‘old life’ of being a spend fiend, and married to your sugar daddy, has been over for a while. Is it three years now? Four? And she still takes NO RESPONSIBLITY for her part in their financial problems.

Everyone stares at her blankly again. This broad needs to learn how to read the room.

Kyle – She misses yet another opportunity to admit she and Mario are basically separated at this point and she has a girlfriend the same age as her daughters. Instead, she again exploits her supposed lifelong best friend, and yammers about Kathy. Nice. She sidesteps it during the actual filming, but admits what’s going on in her yap.

Erika’s ‘not interested in shopping’ my ass. For whatever fucking reason, Crystal apologizes to her. That’s the last thing you do to this type of narcissistic entitled piece of shit. It literally makes them behave ten times worse, and even more entitled.

Erika, girrlllll. No one owes you any fucking apologies. I thought this therapy was ‘working?’ If this isn’t proof it’s a waste of time and money, I don’t know what is.

******

It’s red dress night, except for Kyle who went with orange since the red dress she brought looks like it came from Frederick’s of Hollywood.

Dorito best not fuck up those Dolce’s on the cobblestone, since you know, she needs to return them.

Seriously Kyle, words of wisdom from your mom – ‘don’t ever trust a man.’ The professional town gold digging ho? Who ordered her daughters to marry rich men?? Maybe the dudes should not trust your daughters. They definitely shouldn’t have trusted her. She swindled all of them.

Now we know why Kyle was constantly doing the splits. It’s the only ‘dance move’ that she knows. I don’t know why Miss Always Needs to be the Center of Attention is acting all bashful about this dance performance.

They flash on Garcelle’s birthday party last season where she was pretty much humping the floor with her barely covered hoohaw. She wasn’t embarrassed to do that.

That’s when I knew Mario was not taking care of business at home.

At dinner for whatever reason, Annmarie asks Erika to address her animosity towards the group about her situation. Like why would you give this broad the floor? She is so frustrating to listen to. SO FRUSTRATING.

Just continues to MISS THE POINT about these fucking earrings. No one here is ballsy enough to say it.

This is a very dangerous and destructive woman to humanity. That may sound a little over the top, but I do believe it.

Apparently in true slimy Erika fashion, she invited all of the ladies to her stupid Vegas show, except for Sutton. Which you would think that she would be glad about. I would be. Who the hell wants to sit through that?

No self-awareness Erika points out how Sutton charted a private plane to see her Chicago in 2020, but she thinks it’s okay to have let her out of the official invitations.

Sutton should have left her dumb skanky ass in LA.

It’s almost time for their amateur night performance.

Dorit: “This isn’t chickening out. I genuinely don’t know if I can do it with my shoes.”

So she knew she was expected to do this little performance that they had rehearsed, but still wears shoes with a six inch front platform?

And it doesn’t occur to her to take them off??

Nice try, Dorito.

What is going on? These are bitches that LOVE the spotlight. No one is expecting Ginger Rogers. They reluctantly take the stage.

It was just a bunch of stomping and clapping and waving their arms around. I don’t get what the big deal was.

******

They’re back in Beverly Hills. Love Garcelle’s new shoes. Love.

Did Dorit really say that Coke (the soda) is good for you? Good for you? I honestly can’t get over how she and Erika actually drink that shit. I don’t know that I’ve drank a Coke since I was like ten. It’s like drinking syrup.

I used to drink diet soda here and there, but I can barely stand that anymore.

If I’m going to drink something not good for me, it’s going to contain alcohol. I’m not a crazy person.

Kyle talks to Dorit about her and Mario’s problems, and how they’re getting therapy.

At this point can we not all agree that we’re sick of dancing around this?

This woman is in a whole ass relationship with another fucking chick, it’s been pretty obvious for months, yet here we are still just hinting and touching on possible marital problems. I mean, really. It’s so stupid.

Speaking of which, have you all heard that there must be some sort of trouble in paradise? Seems they have deleted each other’s pictures from their Insta accounts. So yeah, that’s not normally something that you do unless you are in a romantic relationship. As far as I know, she’s still denying it.

Dorit chimes in with also having issues at home due to all of PK’s traveling.

Well, PK can’t stand her either.

I don’t know that ‘Mo’ really cares that Kyle is pissed off and has a girlfriend. I think he’s sick of her shit, and ready to move on.

‘Her shit’ being just that she’s Kyle, and she’s immature and annoying.

I love how she gets in there that he had NOTHING when they were first together.

He’s not trying because he’s checked out, and he just doesn’t care. I would be more empathetic about it, except that I think Kyle is a fucking twat.

She treats people horribly. So call it karma.

But, at least she’s finally admitting to what‘s going on, now that the season is almost over. I think her little girlfriend got miffed at her for not owning their relationship at the reunion, It was right after they got done filming it that they took all of each other’s pictures down. Speculation that the poor girl was used for the dreaded ‘story line.’ Also to make Mario jealous, which did NOT work. Poor girl. I know how she feels.