I never really got ‘white parties.’ I’m surprised they’re not renamed or phased out due to people being offended by everything these days.
So it is just that you wear white? I assume I’m not missing anything. When you put dudes in white jackets, they kind of look like waiters.
Well if someone wants to invite me to one, I have a cute white dress. I only wore it once, to a joint birthday party, where my ex proceeded to trap me on a three hour car ride on the way home, and make fun of my blog, then tells me he hates me when I became upset that he would say that.
Like for real, what grown-ass man at a ripe old age, says to anyone, let along his girlfriend, “I hate you.” And for no reason. At all.
Who says ‘I hate you?’ Little children, like 4 or 5, who don’t know any better tell someone ‘I hate you.’
Who, then promptly would get scolded (I would hope) by their parent and punished with a time-out or a privilige taken away. Fifty years ago we would say get their ass beat, but we’re not doing that anymore. Now, its probably, getting their iphone taken away.
So what did I do after this? I did what you would do to a fucking four-year-old, I put him in a time out. Unfortunately I’m literally half his weight, and can’t beat his ass.
And whilst on this time-out do you think maybe he thought about it, felt stupid, asked for my forgiveness the very next day, brought me flowers? No. He trotted across the parking lot where he lives, and began relations with a married woman he had been with before he begged me to take him back last February.
He actually started working on me in November 2022, as he reassured me it was completely over with this ugly tramp he was seeing, and that he loved and missed me, and would treat me better than he had in the past when we were together. So three months later, after relentlessly pursuing me, I took him back and we began seeing each other again.
I only wish I was making this up or exaggerating.
On a positive note, I looked really cute. Of course he was on his best fake behavior all day in front of his family.
Yes, these are the kinds of guys I go out with.
You know when you’re completely broke, with a part-time shit job that a monkey could do, don’t you think you should at THE VERY LEAST change direction somewhat, and treat your lady with some respect??
Nope not this man, term I use loosely. What a Loser. Abuses women, and thinks it’s cute. Puts on a fake persona every minute of every day, and projects his shit onto others. He’s nothing but a scared little child trapped in an old man’s body. I feel so sorry for him.
Enough of the woe is me. I honestly do KIND OF get jealous of Ariana (Vanderpump) for all of the attention and accolades she got for being with a shitty guy. My shitty guy just because he likes adding insult to injury, walks around telling lies about me to explain why we’re no longer together, which include accusing me of what HE does. Cheats, lies and sleeps with married people. Oh also he calls me an alcoholic to his family, so he doesn’t have to take accountability for huge fight we had a while back, where I wasn’t drunk, I was just pissed the hell off.
Can you believe this guy? I’m sure he’s currently living his best life trudging across the lot, and banging his ugly tramp, who conveniently moved right across from him, so she could spy on him and control his life. He wanted to be with her instead, since she puts out more, which he literally did say to me. Such a sweet genuine guy. Literally, a dream come true.
So, back to this. Kyle has Erika performing at the event, which is in the ‘So-Fi Stadium’ because Kyle lives in Erika Jayne’s asshole.
“Oh no not MY name on the floor” Flips her hair.
Did anyone think of Kristen Wigg’s SNL skits?? “Don’t make me sing…”
Oh Kyle, you’re so humble — NOT!!!
She’s so proud to announce that she’s using the celeb planner Kevin Lee, that LVP always used. I’m sure Lisa loves the fact that she lives rent-free in Kyle’s brain like this. I have a Pump-tini on Lisa rarely even thinks of nor speaks of Kyle Fucking Richards,
Sister of Kim Richards, successful child star, and Kathy Hilton, famous socialite married to a business hotel/business mogul, Rick Hilton.
Off topic – why is Erika in her yaps always so fucking hostile and combative? It’s always like ‘I told you!’ and ‘take that!’ and shit like that. Lady, sit the fuck down. Sit all the way down $7 tickets! No one fucking cares about all of your fucking vindication crap. Your three fans don’t even care!
Kyle’s LVP impression is kind of funny, don’t tell her I said that. I doubt if LVP thinks it’s funny. She’s not the greatest at laughing at herself.
I also noticed, besides the accent, it didn’t really seem like that much of a stretch, because Kyle literally just acted the same way, before she went into her LVP.
******
Sutton bragging her store ‘survived the plandemic’ is funny to me. It ‘survived’ because she does not need to make money in it. It’s kind of a hobby.
It just would be nice if she added that. A lot of small businesses did NOT survive the plandemic, because they were forced to close, and couldn’t keep up paying for the space while making no money.
However, this is what we should be seeing of RHOBH. Not Erika Payne bragging about earrings purchased with stolen money that ARE INDEED HERS, and whining to her mom she can only afford a cleaning lady once a week.
Her daughter is in town, and they are shopping for jewels in a bougee jewelry store. It looks like an exclusive opening for her and her daughter only. I guess that’s how you know when you’re fucking loaded.
Take THAT Erika!! LOL!! I can’t stand that dumb broad.
Sure I’ll take that $455,000 tennis bracelet on springs. Is Sutton really complaining that ‘Christian bought all of her jewelry.’
No wait, fuck the dusty bracelet, I’ll take this 9 million dollar baby blue ring.
She buys $68,000 earrings. I’m sorry but it is hard listening to her complain about her ‘struggles’ when she literally didn’t bat an eye at buying these earrings.
She needs maybe a little bit of self-awareness perhaps. So many women are in her position, giving up careers and identity, only to have their husbands divorce them when they age out, but are not getting $300,000/month in support.
I like Sutton, I’m not trying to sound like a jealous bitch, even though I am one, but I do hope she realizes how lucky she is in that way. But I know that money isn’t the answer to everything.
I do think that she has some eating and alcohol struggles, so maybe she can use some of her support income to get help. She literally fell and/or fainted at Erika’s show, and then again at the reunion. So, something is going on, it seems.
I’m not a doctor or a nurse anesthetist, or play one on TV, but I don’t think it’s good for your health to not eat, and drink vodka all day.
******
And onto Kyle’s white party with a budget of ONLY $400,000. She acts all upset about seeing her name on the floor. She throws more shade at Lisa.
Kyle tell us you’re obsessed with Lisa Vanderpump without telling us you’re obsessed with Lisa Vanderpump.
******
Dorit and PK scenes are getting pretty cringy. All they do is bicker. Like Mario, PK is so checked out, and can barely stand Dorit enough to get through a FaceTime call. I did accidentally find out what he’s doing in London. I kept meaning to look it up. He’s managing a Real Estate firm or something? That’s really weird to take a job in another dang country.
There’s nothing this loser can do in California? At all? Dorit’s not willing to relocate, since she has all of this PTSD from the fake robbery and being alone with the kids constantly?
He’s been there for an entire month. It seems weird Dorito just says hes there ‘for work’ and never explains it. It makes it seem kind of sketchy. And one vibe I do get from PK, is sketchy.
Dorit keeps eluding to problems and has been stating things like “are we going to make it?” Are we going to stay together?” which of course gets people talking. If you look it up now though, you see them vehemently denying that they’re separated or considering divorce.
Bitch, you’re the one that put it out there!
******
Mario arrives on his own without the fam. He eyes up the dancers on the way through, and exclaims that ‘he’s feeling it, he’s feeling the vibes.’ Yeah you sure look like you’re feeling it!
He enters the area like he’s the guest of honor or some shit. Did he not see the name on the tiles?? It doesn’t say ‘Mauricio’ or even ‘Mo.’
I think he replaced ‘beeeauuuutiful’ with amaaaaaaaaazing this season. I’m really convinced they read my blog now.
Kyle is suddenly doing things with her hair, and I haven’t heard Mario say ‘beeeauuuutiful’ one single time. He walks around looking for Kyle. Clearly they’re not even speaking.
It’s bullshit that she played games, and faked that they were together all season. It’s fucking bullshit, I’m sorry. It shouldn’t be allowed. It’s against the Housewife rules.
Poor Mario’s still wandering around by himself while Kyle is getting ready.
He says ‘amaaaaaaaazing’ again to Crystal and Rob.
I’m sorry I notice dumb things!!
Sutton arrives. I mean, really, her legs look my arms. She clearly is anorexic, and it’s kind of not funny at this point.
Garcelle arrives and throws a little Kyle shade. “For someone who likes to stay home at night ‘and read’ this is kind of a contradiction.” Remember in the scene Mario was asking her to go to an event, she was like “OhmiGOD from 7 – 11???”
Her girlfriend was absent from this event, I noticed. Maybe she doesn’t have a white dress.
Why does Cynthia from Atlanta keep randomly showing up in Beverly Hills? It’s kind of far away. Does she live in SoCal now? So confused.
Next we’re going to start seeing Phaedra on Beverly Hills, who has been an Atlanta Housewife, and is now on ‘Married to Medicine’ even though she’s not a doctor, nor married to one. She also appeared Dubai last season, and of course is doing ‘The Traitors’ which I have no interest in.
Not Dorito walking in saying “SO CHIC.”
Mario could care less that Kyle and his daughters are entering. It’s sad and funny at the same time. I guess I’m not being a girl’s girl by making fun of this, but it’s just that – it’s Kyle. It seems like he’s more pissed off at her than she is at him. That’ s the vibe I’m getting anyway. Just a guess, but perhaps he’s a little annoyed his wife has been galloping all over town and social media, with a thirty-year old girl for several months.
Kyle and her girls walking onto this field as if they did something great, is kind of stupid.
So we don’t have Morgan, but we do have Denise. I was kind of wondering whether or not they were going to roll her out for a final hurrah.
Oh and another pink jacket. This one doesn’t seem to be upside down. Not yet anyway. Dorito of course gives her shit about the pink, but it’s a very pastel pink so for me, I would think it’s fine to wear a slight pop of pastel to a ‘white party.’
Shut up Dorito. I think you have bigger problems, like a husband who arranged a fake robbery, a gambling problem, and a mistress in Europe.
Wait, what ? Steve ghosted Sutton?? So, does that mean he’s still singlllllle?
The man with the kind eyes. Maybe he’s not so kind. Maybe he’s a player and a douche like the rest of them. He did seem really into her, didn’t he? What did she do? Did she get too drunk on their date?
“There are other seas in the fish??” How many cocktails did Garcelle have? At first I thought she was joking. I know these ladies are bad at expressions but sheesh, that’s a pretty easy one.
Kyle and Mario greet each other like strangers. Something really did happen here. This isn’t just typical ‘drifting apart’ type of situation in my opinion.
They’re so disconnected, he knew nothing about this event, and thought it was in the parking lot. This is so funny, it’s almost not.
They flash to the scene of her telling him the party will be held in the So-Fi stadium, and he responds in that voice he’s been using with her for a few years now, which seems like a lot like a robotic fake-polite work voice. You know like “Thank you so much! Have a good rest of your day!”
I think he responds to her in his Realtor voice, because he feels nothing for her.
******
This is Erika’s first show in four years. But I’m sure she’ll do “just great!” In my fake polite voice.
Erika takes the stage looking like Rocky Balboa.
We think she’s lip synching right? Yeah, there’s no way she’s singing.
And not to be a buzzkill, but the irony of her singing “It’s Expensive To Be Me” in light of what we now know, seems so tone deaf. No pun intended. Does she, like, have any other songs?
You put in work to change your body?? My ass, Erika. You put in Ozempic to change your body. Everybody knows it. All the years shes been on the show, she’s been squishy, and now suddenly, when there’s this wonder drug available that helps you lose weight while putting in minimal effort, she’s coincidentally super thin. I mean really. I love when Housewives assume the viewers are as stupid as they are.
She feels good about the person that she is, even though she still takes no responsibility for anything, and continues to blame everyone else that she spent a very wealthy successful man into the ground.
He was the Erin Brockovich attorney for crying out loud!!
******
PK was in London for 39 days straight. So like a month and a half. Yeah, that’s perfectly normal. Nothing to see here!! She again drops hints in her exit yap that they are struggling. But now claims they’re NOT struggling.
But Kyle and Dorito are definitely ‘separated.’
Sutton was literally just standing there, and takes a nosedive on the ground. I’m not sure how those toothpick legs are even holding her up.
She gets up claiming she’s fine, but I don’t think she’s fine.
******
Okay so we did the Vanderpump ‘picking the cameras back up’ thing for Kyle and Mario. Why we couldn’t just do this during the season, I do not know. It’s not like anything catastrophic happened between like May and July. It’s not like we found out Mario was banging Dorito. Which would have been funny.
It’s just so stupid, because we already know all of this.
It’s been in the press for months, not to mention if was evident on our screens they didn’t want to be anywhere near each other.
The phones start going off with the news of Kyle and Mario. Like, who knew??
You couldn’t even tell at all!
Dorito of course makes it about her, and is pissed Kyle never told her.
Are they literally saying “who planted the story?” The bitch has a girlfriend lover, and has NOT been secretive about it. Who planted it?? Probably Bravo!
Duhhh.
She was lying to the ladies the whole time. I’m guessing just to milk it for all of the attention and speculation possible?? I mean never let a crisis go to waste!
She claims to have had no idea the People Mag article was breaking. Okay, Stop Kyle. She was with Mo and the girls, and was completely blindsided.
You know when a Housewife says they were blindsided, they weren’t blindsided.
Now we have to buy Erika, the empathetic friend coming to console Kyle.
Wow I’m really irritable today.
You know goddamned well she’s happy as fuck someone else’s marriage is in the can. I think she’s even smiling in the scene.
Just like a true friend, immediately Erika wants to know “LIKE WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DEALING WITH??” She wants the deets.
Every time Kyle is put on the spot as to what’s going on, she acts irritated, and keeps repeating “I mean…” What Kyle, WHAT do you mean?? I MEAN, cameras started rolling again to get the tea, give us the tea! Stop saying I MEAN. You mean you have a girlfriend? You mean you found out Mo had a girlfriend? Fucking spill it!!
All of these years, everyone else had to spill it!
Housewives don’t keep secrets! It’s how this works. She’s always squeaked by NEVER having any type of storyline except fighting with Kathy and Kim, and exploiting everyone else!
When she starts with the ‘I mean’ – she just pisses me off. As you can see.
There’s not any one specific thing that caused the rift, she claims. She tries to dispel all of the ‘cheating’ rumors as Erika presses her. This is not a friend that’s concerned. This is a friend that wants the skinny,
Erika is loving this shit. Kyle seems more worried about what viewers and her fans think, honestly, as she proceeds to recite what sounds like Twitter and IG viewer comments.
******
Mario’s confused faces are funny. Kyle says “for once it’s me” when Mario tries to joke about her girlfriend that was mentioned in the article.
All of this confusion by everyone is just so – confusing. I think Mario has had this look on his face in every fucking scene this season.
I don’t think they mentioned Farrah and her fiance breaking up at all. Unless it happened later. Rumor has it, his family did not want him with Farrah because of Kyle. And why did she name her child Farrah? You can tell she was like twelve when she had her.
So you know, I was not yet a Beverly Hills viewer in the early years, so I didn’t watch the live the episode of the psychic predicting this would happen when her kids were older, but here we. Has she been saying anything I wonder? I need to look into that.
It’s kind of funny that Kyle even uses the word ‘fulfilled’ as to the issues with him, as the psychic did.
You gotta hand it to the Housewife psychics. They’re frequently right.
The one on OC was right about Brooks not having cancer. I think there was one on RHONY that told Ramona that Mario (his name IS Mario) was cheating on her a few years before they split up. Where do they get their psychics?? They rock.
They gather all of the daughters in the living room to tell them they’re going their separate ways. It’s about damned time, Kyle. Jesus. Thanks for hiding it and lying about it all season when there is no fucking way you would tolerate that from anyone else. You even outed your own sister on TV about her alcoholism.
Mario looks really uncomfortable. She reassures the kids that they haven’t talked about divorce. It seems rude to give them false hope, but I think this is for the viewers since she’s still in denial at this point.
OhmiGod the “we’re so busy and working” thing. That’s another word vomit phrase she uses like ‘I mean.’ That has nothing to do with the discussion. And Kyle, you’re not ‘busy’ – you’re not ‘working.’
Mario makes this confused face every time she says “living under the same roof.” Clearly she’s lying. They must have discussed him leaving, and she doesn’t want to admit it.
I think it kind of sucks he makes her do all of the talking. She seems surprised Porsha is crying. Of course the older girls are going to take it a lot better than the teenager.
I will say, Mario looks really guilty.
What is the issue, Producer asks??
To Erika, she claimed there wasn’t any one occurrence.
She shrugs and says there was trust broken that she couldn’t recover from.
So now, the last two minutes of the last show, we get somewhere.
That’s it – reunion next week, peeps.
Erika takes off the ‘concerned friend’ mask and wants Andy to ‘eviscerate’ Kyle for I assume not sharing the entire story, or any of it, during the season.
Lying about Mo’s cheating, lying about Morgan, she is TICKED. So instead of being concerned for her friend, she’s making it about her.
She reminds me so much of BlaBla on Vanderpump. I would say did she have another child she gave up for adoption, except BlaBla’s mom looks exactly like her.
