“Stop doing that, you’re being incredibly incredibly ruuuude!” Okay Michelle Tanner.
She’s buying time so she can think of what to say. She’s Kyle. She’s a little slow. She was raised by a the town drunken ho, so what would you expect?? I don’t mean to speak ill of the dead, but if you research and read up on ‘Big Kathy’ it’s pretty fucking disturbing.
She really hasn’t mentioned her lately, but I always chuckle when she tries to make her sound like June Cleaver. She was more like Samantha on Sex and the City. So let’s say a combo of Samantha Jones and BlaBla on Vanderpump. A gold digging ho.
And so what that Sutton called Crystal’s leather pants ugly. They were.
She keeps telling Sutton she doesn’t seem okay. Well she’s tipsy. She’s not doing pathetic splits with her ass hanging out, or grabbing people by the arms and shaking them, but she’s feeling good.
I thought maybe after Kyle watched herself back last season, she’d ditch this stringy hair look, and add some layers, or curls, or something. She did a highlight or two, so she doesn’t look like Morticia, but STILL STRINGY.
She keeps making weird over-expressions at Sutton because Sutton is calling her out, and she doesn’t know what to say, so she’s just making stupid faces. And she thinks she’s an actress.
How many times has Kyle been shitfaced and acting foolish on camera, but she’s trying HARD to ridicule Sutton because she’s had a couple cocktails.
They exchange ‘what’s going on with YOU’S.’
Kyle is still in denial and not admitting to Mario actually cheating on her (I don’t condone cheating but holy shit, I may have to make an exception here.)
She’s not looking good, literally. Her inner mean girl is affecting her physical appearance. “Bring it on babe” she challenges Sutton.
She’s ‘happy’ to answer any of her questions, she claims. My experience is that when someone tells you they’re ‘happy’ to do something, it means the exact opposite. Worse is ‘MORE than happy.’ If someone tells you that they’re more than happy to do something for you, they’re not doing it.
Case in point, Kyle RUNS from the kitchen after she claims she’s more than happy to share. She needs to get out of there before Sutton takes her up on her offer. She’s literally running.
******
I love that this is Erika’s house. I love that it looks like a literal pool house or shed. Why are there two doors right next to each other?
Her mom is visiting. They’re kind of a cute mom/daughter duo I hate to say. Because I hate to compliment Erika even in the slightest.
I’m surprised to see Erika acting this affectionate, even if it was for two seconds. They discuss sleeping arrangements. Guess Erika’s pool house only has one bedroom.
I’m sure mom preferred coming to visit in the snowy Pasadena mansion.
******
While Erika has severely downgraded, Garcelle has definitely upgraded.
Her son tells her he wants his girlfriend to sleep over. She shoots that down immediately. I feel like he’s testing her. I think that’s what those two do, see how far they can push her to get a reaction. He even admits her mom wouldn’t allow it, so what was the point of that? To get a rise out if his mom.
She has a movie that she both produced and starred in, for which there will be a screening event. I guess that explains the big new house.
******
Crystal and Rob discuss her brother, and how Rob recently went to China to visit him. I think that’s cute that he hangs and travels with her brother.
So he and his fiancee broke up because during the scamdemic her parents made him come back to the U.S. while she remained in China. Rob tells her, he’s still hung up on her, very sad, and hasn’t moved on.
Rob tries to explain to her that forcing him to move to leave his fiancee behind, was not the best move for him and his relationship. I can see why his family didn’t want him there during all of that though, if you were following, and how China was treating their people during that. It was not pretty. (and it’s not much better now) However, he’s a grown ass man, and he can make his own decisions.
Rob tries to explain this to Crystal, and she’s not liking it. She’s actually making a really disgusted face, as he tries to reason with her. Is she trying to act? Because she doesn’t seem as pissed off as these faces she’s making. He’s being really nice about it, and he’s not wrong. Rob seems like a cool easygoing guy. Actually easygoing. Doesn’t just pretend, and try to sell that he is. A nice normal guy that treats his wife with respect, and does not have a multitude of personality disorders.
He thinks maybe she’s competitive with his ex-fiancee.
The thing with ‘age gap marriages’ as they’re called now, is that the older spouse talks to the younger spouse like they’re his child. This interaction really seems like a father scolding his daughter.
Crystal even makes all of the faces of a teenager getting reprimanded. Or is trying to be Kyle. Well, I guess it’s the same thing.
She FaceTimes him, and he’s legit crying. Poor guy.
******
Sutton has bought a horse online, and is off to meet her new man. It sounds like a very on a whim type of decision, so I hope she keeps up with him.
The initial meeting goes well. She fed him a carrot. He slobbered. Sounds like typical date.
Sutton complains to Jennifer Tilley (new possible Housewife) about Kyle. Does she actually think they’re “really good friends?”
So this is a thought that I had, that I was planning on sharing, about the ladies sort of dragging her for working out, and not drinking. Both are good things. They say it as if it’s so taboo.
I hate to say, she does look great. Her body is banging. And I believe, she always did work out, so it’s not like she was starting from complete scratch, and was overweight or out of shape. I have to get back into the swing of things, she’s actually been motivating me. I’m back to doing my ab workouts regularly. Now I just have to get my ass back to the gym for my cardio.
Anywho, she complains to Jennifer that Kyle’s gotten really thin, and in Vegas even got up at 6am and worked out!!! So… ?? If this is what relaxes her, and makes her feel good, what’s the issue? Might be a hint of jealousy.
She’s still a fucking cunt, so I’m in no way have reverted to becoming a fan, but she looks great. I’m just ‘being honest.’
There are definitely issues with Mario, as we know, and this could be extra motivation too, since she’s on the market, and possibly has a hot new young girlfriend. It does suck it’s not really being addressed. At this point, in filming in February, it was all out there, and not a secret.
******
Erika’s mom visits. Does Erika really bitch at her mom for not watching her mug ? She’s her fucking guest!
And does she only own two mugs? She then bitches at her for pointing in the wrong direction at the dishwasher. I’m assuming she doesn’t ever want her to come back.
Then we move on to Erika bitching at her for coming to her show in New York, without telling her, that was out for a minute before the scamdemic, and it was canceled.
Erika is being such a dick. How is that an ‘ambush??’
Mom asks her how many times she had been to ‘the firm’ in twenty years, like three? What reason would she have to go over there. First of all, they had this farce, for-show marriage, so what’s she going to do surprise him with tuna salad? No. Second of all, it’s not like she had any interest in what he even did all day. Just so credit cards were working, she didn’t give a fuck. And third of all, she was kind of tied up all day, blowing through every last penny the dude made!! I guess the mom’s point in asking that is to demonstrate how oblivious and disconnected she was.
Erika doesn’t like it, and tells her to knock it off. She’s still oblivious, and still takes no accountability to how she contributed to his desperate behavior. I think he was always shiesty in his own right (he’s a lawyer, duh) but I really doubt if he would have been outright stealing ALL of his clients’ money by pretending he was ‘investing’ it, if she hadn’t bled him dry. Just my opinion.
******
“You’re doing your makeup YOURSELF??”
Dorito sneers on FaceTime, and reprimands Kyle as she gets ready for Garcelle’s event. Like for real, who do these women think they are? Dorit, calm down. You’re literally going to a movie.
At what point will Dorito realize that she’s not any big iconic star. She’s literally a failed wannabe fashion designer, married to a broke ass gambling addict loser. Literally, a loser. He must have lost a lot, because he owed a Vegas casino a million bucks. Which promptly got paid off when they received their insurance payment after the ‘robbery.’
Kyle fills her in on her visit with Sutton and calls it “the strangest visit with Sutton.” She gets up and imitates her imitating Erika. You can’t make this shit up.
She’s liable to have a stroke trying so hard to ‘act.’ She’s scaring her poor dog. She looks insane. In what a universe is that a ‘threat’ by asking “what’s going on with YOU?” as Dorito tries to tell her.
“Oh, it was.” Of course Kyle agrees with her. Fucking Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dumm. Kyle refers to the “rumors.” (which is exactly what they are…)
Yes, she probably was talking about Mario’s cheating, but still not a threat girls. Maybe look that word up. What is she ‘threatening exactly?’
Sutton is simultaneously updating Garcelle.
Why does Kyle keep calling her ‘weird and strange?’ She was on fucking vodka, not crack. Big fucking whoop. This isn’t complicated, Kyle. You of all people should get it.
******
Dorit and a driver, she’s not driving of course, God forbid they should do their own makeup, or drive themselves, arrives to collect Sutton to go to Garcelle’s event. She’s inside having a photo shoot, to promote her clothes for her boutique. Dorito is pissed off, even though she does the same fucking thing.
She’s just NOW learning that social media is the venue for promoting your business?
Kyle gives Garcelle accolades for her project, which probably isn’t sincere. She says she can identify with how difficult this is to do. Oh yeah, she had her failed series that lasted like two minutes, a few years back, based on her life, and her trollop mom.
Dorito claims she’s ‘triggered’ by this being a large event, due to the fake robbery two fucking years ago. She thought it was an intimate gathering. She’s still acting like this, whatever this even is, but Garcelle can’t still be upset about these ho’s laughing at her kid getting humiliated and cursed at by blacked-out Erika a year later.
And what the fuck do crowds even have to do with it?? What sense does that make? I would think she would be more ‘triggered’ being home alone with her kids. That would make SOME sense.
These bitches will milk anything to absolute oblivion for attention. Now watch her racist ass will probably bitch at Garcelle for not ‘telling her’ the head count. Didn’t she do this exact same thing with last season with someone? Maybe Sutton.
Sutton points out the kidnapping plot of the movie. You would think THAT might be more of an issue with her. Proves that she’s full of fucking shit.
I’m really finding it hard to believe for the past two fucking years, that she hasn’t gone to crowded events, and that she acts like this when she does. Dorito, stop IT.
Jax, Garcelle’s kid that Scarika yelled at last season, volunteers to approach Erika and say hi and make nice. He takes Crystal as reinforcement. Erika looks uncomfortable and embarrassed for a second. As she should.
He’s so sweet and polite. He tells her he has no hard feelings about it. So are you telling me that she has never officially apologized to this kid?? Wow. What a fucking pile of smelly disgusting moldy trash is this woman.
Garcelle points out in her yap, that as the ‘adult’ in the room, she wishes Erika would have had the integrity to approach the kid as soon as she arrived to apologize. I’m actually flabbergasted she hasn’t said she’s sorry to him yet. Flabbergasted.
This woman has NO MANNERS at all.
She reminds me of a certain man-child that I know. No manners, no common courtesy, no couth, no self-awareness. I think they should hook up. They would have TONS in common. Oh no, never mind, she only dates dudes with money. A lot of money. Well, actually she may settle for a little money at this point.
But definitely not losers that can barely afford dinner out once a week. I don’t think she’d be too patient with his stupid emotions being triggered when the wind blows either.
Why is Crystal talking up Erika? Who is she trying to impress exactly and score points with?? She sees Erika in a better light since Vegas. What EVER.
Kyle and Dorito should also be apologizing to him actually, for laughing at him with their stupid husbands.
They don’t care. Kyle’s too busy admiring herself in her stupid hat, and Dorito’s too busy pretending to be anxious.
They don’t give a shit that this kid’s feelings were hurt. At all. It’s not THEIR kid. It’s some black kid. Disgraceful.
Surprise visit from Denise, who’s been feeling left out and having FOMO since she left a few years back, after doing one season, or was it two? She got pissed about her affair with Brandy being proven and discussed. Well now her and Kyle have something in common.
She’s under dressed as usual. Wonder if she did her makeup herself.
Sutton approaches Kyle, wanting to discuss the visit when Kyle rushed out before Sutton could bring up her separation from Mario, his cheating, and her new lesbian lover. Three things we’re NOT ALLOWED to discuss. But it’s a HUGE scandal that Sutton enjoys her grapefruit cocktails a little too much. Big scandal. Huge.
I don’t think she was being ‘aggressive’ as Kyle describes. Kyle exaggerates other’s behavior and downplays her bad behavior. Classic Kyle Richards.
She keeps going with the ‘you’re acting off/odd’ rhetoric. Kyle calls her so full of shit, which sort of came out of nowhere. What? What is full of shit?? She didn’t even say anything. Was this editing, or Kyle with prepared lines that the ‘actress’ is too dumb to not use out of context? She’s making weird trying too hard faces too, as per usual.
Sutton tells her there’s a lack of respect when it comes to treatment of her. That’s one hundred percent true. Sutton says she feels like a little sister. Kyle says “don’t flatter yourself.” Again, doesn’t make sense. How is that ‘flattering herself??’
The analogy does make somewhat sense because Kyle treats her sisters like shit. It’s why they hate her.
Sutton addresses the possibility of animosity that she is friends with Kathy, and she and Kathy are again at odds. Kyle of course dismisses this.
I actually thought she and Kathy were okay at this point, but I don’t really care. Well I do care in the way that I think it’s hilarious that they both hate her. Rumor has it some of her daughters aren’t too happy with her either.
Garcelle wants to speak to Dorito to address Vegas, and how Dorit was a fucking cunt to her for no reason whatsoever.
Now Crystal’s stuck having to make conversation with Erika. Maybe she’ll ask her if she misses her ‘old life’ again, and what exactly she misses, and why.
Dorit knows what’s coming, so she starts off doing some overcompensating, and love bombing which doesn’t seem genuine at all.
Dorit is on the defense, because she knows she was wrong. She literally made HERSELF the victim and the hurt one.
She changes the subject to how their friendship seems to move forward, then go backward.
Garcelle allows this instead of telling her to focus on what the fuck she’s trying to tell her, that she’s pretending to not comprehend.
She denies that she said, “it’s been a year and a half get over it” and made that fucking face, that I wanted to fucking slap.
And she’s just had a fake meltdown over a fake robbery. She takes that comment back, she says. It was VERY insensitive, Garcelle is so right.
Let’s start taking a shot every time Kyle says ‘rumors.’
Why are there rumors Kyle? Oh, because it’s been happening, that’s why. And people are seeing it and talking. Just fucking say they’re true. It’s annoying the piss out of me that she’s covering for him.
She keeps saying that she “had a rough year.” Well, why did you have a rough year?? Becasue Mario can’t stand to be around you, and has a girlfriend? So she decided to one up him, and get her own girlfriend.
So I guess this chick makes an appearance next week!! I mean, just this two second preview, it’s fucking obvious they’re hooking up. Who the hell does she think she’s kidding?
