Kyle nobody is staring at you.
I cannot stand her tag line. Everybody is sick of you, even production.
Producers purposely give them these embarrassing tag lines. Erika and her independence?
Lady, you’d still be with that old geezer if you hadn’t spent all his fucking money. People that don’t see this are the slow crowd.
Dorit, you don’t look like a doll. Who comes up with these? Unless they’re designed to make them look like fools, they need fired.
Remember Crystal’s last season, (who never came off as bright but she tried) she basically called herself dumb. She was too dumb to know her assigned line was calling herself dumb.
These 40-50 somethings remind me of myself when I was in my 20s and I think I probably did say some dumb things, but I was in my 20s and it’s okay. After that you should have what we call life experience.
I wonder if Kyle is going to stay in his huge massive house by herself? Probably going to try to hang onto as long as she can.
Portia does not want to hang with her for lunch. Kyle calls Erika whining and talking about herself as per usual.
Kyle calls Erika, your integrity is questioned because you have none, and you’re finally getting called out. She plans on talking to Dorito again about her (non)relationship and communication with PK.
“Memes and jokes, memes and jokes.” Just keep repeating that Kyle maybe it will become true. She’s such a dick.
Honestly, I just wish her and PK would hook up, and of course, it goes without saying that Mario and Dorito should also hook up. A little switcheroo if you will.
The only one that’s been getting laid out of this foursome right now is Mario. These people need laid! That’s why they’re so tense.
Then maybe they’ll stop whining over some fucking text messages. Jesus
******
Dorito and The Boz meet for a little lunch.
“You’re so fly! No you’re so fly!!” You know that bartender is turning around and rolling her fucking eyes. And are we still saying fly?
They begin to chat after reassuring each other that they both are totally fly. Boz pretends that they weren’t going to immediately start talking about Dorit and her problems.
Girl have you met her? He rambling about the ‘textgate’ was on the tip of her tongue.
You claimed to be such great friends there was NO chance that she was not going to start talking about herself and these motherfucking text messages.
As far as Boz and Dorit’s friendship, here’s my take because I know you were dying to know. I strongly believe producers assign friendships or at least strongly suggest them, especially with a new cast member. I think they were assigned together, but possibly ended up actually liking each other. It’s like a blind date or online dating. There’s a chance that it COULD work out.
I think Boz is a little self-absorbed too so maybe she doesn’t notice it or care that Dorit is. Not to mention Boz is totally kissing her ass and following her marching orders, and getting PAID, so we’ll see.
Boz has confusion as to whether or not Kyle was aware that they were having marital problems. They flash on last season where Dorit fills in Kyle that they’re not getting along.
Boz doesn’t mess around. She full on calls Kyle a liar in her yap.
Dorit shares something kind of disturbing in her yap.
PK‘s AA sponsor for his alcoholism actually is the one that told her he wanted to ‘take a break.’ PK was present, but still that’s just wrong. Like fucking pussy much PK? Maybe that’s what the ‘P’ stands for??
That’s so cowardly and spineless. I almost want to feel sorry for but I just don’t.
(Do you think PK at some point will admit to staging the robbery?)
Dorit questions in her yap whether the separation was the sponsor’s idea or PK‘s. I know the answer to that Dorit! I know I know! Just ask me.
It was 100% PK‘s desire and idea, but he was too much of a pussy to say it to you!
What a fucking pussy and coward.
That reminds me of my ex-boyfriend and my ex-husband both pussies, both cowards.
I never thought I see the day when my ex-husband is with some ugly bitch that’s running the fucking show. But hey, he really likes his million dollar house, and he has the depth of a fucking puddle. Family, what family?? You got a new bougie one now right? Sad.
Dorit claims to have been putting on the façade about her marriage to protect PK.
Or is it just because you’re fake and you wanted to pretend you were living this fairy tale? Just like Kyle. I actually don’t think Kyle and Mario have been intimate for like years and years.
I could tell Mario couldn’t stomach to be in her presence for the past several seasons, actually. It was easy to see in their scenes that he was always stoned and going through the motions.
They both pretended their marriages were great. They really are a lot alike.
They’re both very concerned with image and self-absorbed, which I guess one might say that’s very typical housewife behavior. I’m not arguing with that.
Here’s why I have a hard time feeling sorry for Dorit: It seems evident PK did have money when they first met. I believe he acted like he had a lot more than he actually had, which is very typical of men to do when they are with a new woman, but he was doing okay.
I whole heartedly believe that was her attraction to PK, not unlike Erika and Tom. Now the age difference wasn’t as much, but same concept.
So when women marry for this reason, and then it all falls apart and unravels, I don’t have a lot of sorrow. Especially when at that point the well has run dry. Then I kind of think it’s funny.
You can’t fucking tell me if he was broke when they met, and worked a low-paying job, she would’ve even given him a second glance. Ten years her senior, balding gray hair, kind of frumpy. Give me a break. No.
******
Kyle assembles the troops for a dinner engagement with some ladies that evening, the night before they are going to Garcelle’s beach house. I’m assuming she’s laying some ground rules for the trip of things that they’re not allowed to ask her.
******
Garcelle is the first to arrive, and already Kyle is doing that nervous hair thing, groaning and looking distressed with her claw-like hands throttling around.
She starts bitching about the strange black Boz lady ‘that she doesn’t even know!!’ asking her about the PK messages. She treats Boz not unlike the way she treated Garcelle in her first season and I’m not needing to point out to you what those two ladies have in common.
I know that’s a heavy accusation, but I do believe Kyle and Dorit are closet racist.
They both have always treated Garcelle differently than the rest of the cast and that’s not even up for debate.
Now you may question how Dorit is best buds with Boz if she hates black people, but again I believe they were assigned together. And perhaps that was due to Garcelle’s accusing her of racism last season. Maybe they then just happened to have hit it off. Or are pretending.
Keep in mind as I mentioned earlier, Boz is taking Dorit’s side in everything and acting like she’s great. She’s probably smart to do that. She knew she needed an ally in the group being new and not knowing anyone. She didn’t come on here as a ‘friend of.’
I love this from Kyle: All of a sudden, Housewives is a fucking ‘cult’ now that she’s the victim of the questioning and accusations. I’m speechless. I’m almost speechless. I might have to stop right now because I’m so speechless.
Kyle looks uncomfortable and starts fidgeting. Garcelle tells her the better avenue to have taken would’ve been to admit she was doing some shit talking on Dorit. We all do it. I think Dorit perceives this as a better friendship than what it was. I think Kyle perceives her as a coworker.
I do see a lot of Garcille hate out there and I’m really not sure why. I guess she’s just not cunty enough for some of you bitches, but you have to admit she has a valid point and she’s articulating it very well.
She’s not using any big words that Kyle would get confused about. She’s just calmly telling her the truth would have made more sense.
Like ‘yeah Dorit can be annoying and I got sucked in to it.’ I guess that wouldn’t be as interesting though and we couldn’t have drug this on for six episodes.
And spoiler, we probably have six more to go talking about it. I hate to break it to you all.
Kyle sticks with the denial. Garcelle can’t get through to this thick ass fucking head, that holds her teeny tiny pee brain.
She’s so damned dumb. It took reading that stupid message aloud a second time for it to sink in that “I’ve never repeated anything you’ve shared with me” is fucking proof they were talking about Dorit and probably comparing their marriage troubles. Is this a joke? Like are we being punkd?? We have to be.
Kyle starts stuttering and stammering.
Now of course there has been conversation, she clarifies, but maintains it was never EVER about Dorit. Not once. She swears.
Now she admits they have known each other for seven or eight years and sure, they’re friends. However, they then flash on The Viper Room where she does finger quotes while saying “my friendship with PK…”
They flash on several scenes of her contradicting herself. She has to be the dumbest sister. Please tell me Kim and Kathy are not dumber than she is.
She starts whining about her life being scrutinized, even though she outed the alcohol problem of her own fucking sister. I would say that’s scrutinizing somebody’s life, but in an extremely damaging way.
But listen, she’s mad about people talking about her banging a chick which clearly she was, and texting a dude, versus somebody having a legit alcohol problem that needs handled delicately. No wonder Kim keeps relapsing.
I love production, doing her totally dirty, and flashing on several scenes over the years of Kyle doing to others the exact shit she is complaining about.
Here’s a good one. Chubby Banged Pointy Nose Kyle to Denise: “when things are put out there they have to be addressed in this group.”
Hmmm like Morgan? Like Mario’s cheating?
Is she wearing the same necklaces in this scene from eight years ago that she is right now?? Yes, she is.
Fucking Andy created this monster by putting her on a pedestal and making her first chair and the star every damn season, and never questioning her on anything at the reunion and never holding her accountable.
Production could’ve played more flashes, but we only had so much time. I’m sure there’s about 1000 of them. They cut right to Kyle’s yap of her whining “being questioned is extremely frustrating to me.” Next she’s going to start going “Bravo Bravo Bravo!!”
Can’t make this fucking shit up. Yeah I know housewives have their ‘rules for thee but not for me’ moments, but this is a lot.
Our new sassy non-doormat Season 14 Sutton demands “why are we here?” when she shows up in her sequined crop top and Dolce purse that Erika immediately grabs to inspect and pretend it’s hers. I would keep an eye on that purse if I were you Sutton.
This is getting long. Stay tuned for Part 2!!
