I missed doing last week’s recap!! Sorry!! I had technical difficulty! But I did watch of course. I thought the mortgage/Realtor crew was not too terrible or high maintenance.
New deckie Dylan arrived who is really —- cheerful. Kyle is sick of all of the high-fiving.
Well I wouldn’t miss this recap for the world! Who doesn’t love a Bravo crossover??? Even if it is Jill Karin.
I kept waiting for someone to yell ‘April Fools!’ as she made the most ridiculous and outlandish demands and acted like an entitled fucking scumbag towards the crew.
I’m sure Bethenney is loving the heat coming off of her for five minutes, and what a narcissistic train wreck she is.
I want to start out by pointing this out: There was a Below Deck episode several years ago, before I started watching Atlanta, so I wasn’t familiar with those ladies, but Cynthia Bailey was part of a group along with her daughter who was a teenager at the time.
Cynthia could not have been more down to earth, more gracious, sweet and respectful to the crew. They were all dreading the diva ‘Housewife’ in the group, and ate heir words, and said they shouldn’t have prejudged.
Barbie continues to fuck around with Kyle. Not literally, but you know mess with him. Like does she like him-like him or not?
She lets him into her cabin but doesn’t do anything with him. I don’ t hink she’s even kissed him, and she gets annoyed when he falls asleep in her bed when they’re watching movies. She bitches at him for snoring and makes him go to the bottom bunk. Keep playin’ hard to get Barbie!! I love that for her. Don’t be a skanky ho opening your legs for every dude that says hello!
If you think she’s being bitchy with him and being a tease, and I agree she is, look at what’s going on with Sunny and Ben since they hooked up, or any couple on here when they start hooking up.
It starts a bunch of bitching, whining and irrational jealousy if the dude looks at another girl, or doesn’t give her the proper attention. What is it these girls do not get about these dudes are just looking to get laid for the six weeks while they’re on this boat. They normally barely even like these girls, let alone have any type of ‘feelings’ for them.
And now he’s her boss. And OF COURSE we play the ‘Lead Deckhand’ game almost immediately. OF COURSE he’s picking the new dude, who came to the boat three minutes ago, and not Sunny. There’s literally no point and no need for the lead deckhand title.
And if you saw previews, OF COURSE he’s going to be taking a shining to the new stew. I wonder if it’s that chick that was on briefly last season that he knew.
Cat has been on TikTok giving advice about getting into yachting. Some comments were asking why she’s giving advice if she couldn’t handle it, and she said – “duhhh it’s a TV show.” So is she saying all of her crying and tantrums were not for real? Okay whatever. I wish these people would keep their mouths shut, they’re ruining the fun for us.
That bit with her getting a water taxi to leave the boat immediately when she was mid-meltdown after Xandi addressed some things that she missed while cleaning. was totally for TV.
Fraser’s on my damned last nerve with this bitching about Anthony being a messy cook. Everyone knows that’s a sign of a fabulous chef! Everyone knows this. And if ya don’t like it Fras, how about don’t fucking look at it. Since when is the chief stew in charge of the chef?
Get your scrawny ass in the galley and throw together three five-star meals per day with no fucking help without making a mess??
And then he goes to Kerry about this? Kerry basically shuts this shit down and tells him to mind his beeswax. Stay in your lane Fras. Worry about the table setting and piss stains on the toilets. Sheesh. I think it’s so outrageous for the chief stews, who usually aren’t even capable of frying an egg, to judge the chefs, especially when they are doing such an amazing job like Anthony is. Aside from this stupid cheeseburger debacle at lunch, he hasn’t even had any complaints.
This feels over produced, so I don’t know why I’m getting all in my feelings about it.
I need to snap out of it!
Real or not, Kerry makes the wise decision, since he’s an excellent chef that struggles with the ‘clean as you go’ thing, to leave it alone. Hey I have an idea Fras, you clean it the fuck up if it bugs you so much.
Frenchy admits he suffers from dyslexia and probably a touch of ADHD, which is common in creative people. In other words, shut it Fraser. And why would you go to the captain with this petty bullshit??
******
In the preference sheet meeting, we find that there is a plethora of food allergies, dietary restrictions, sort of vegetarians, and just plain pickiness with this crew.
The ‘plain pickiness’ (PLAIN literally) honors belongs to Jill Zarin. I screen shotted and zoomed in on her sheet so you can see this shit. It’s hard to read, but this broad has the freaking palate of a six year old. She specifies no ‘fancy’ foods and TGI Friday’s Mudslide mix? Is she serious? I cannot even fathom how terrible and sugary that is. She’s on this fucking bougee yacht vacay and she has the nerve to ask for TGI FRIDAY’S MUDSLIDE MIX? Or mudslides even? Which is nothing but a milkshake with vodka. Jesus Christ you can’t make this shit up. Well maybe you can, but why would you?
And not only is she NOT the primary, but it’s her boyfriend that is their guest and knows them, and she is merely the plus one. So just putting that out there.
And of course we have birthdays and Mrs. Primary wants a gluten free dairy free egg free fucking pina colada ‘inspired’ cake, and oh a separate traditional cake for her husband. I can’t. They need to put a birthday candle in some fake milk Pina Colada, and call it a fucking day.
(I am intrigued by a Pina Colada cake though… stay tuned for a possible recipe inspo…)
Well if there are leftovers that’s good news for Captain Pina Colada Ben. Honestly Sunny, I’m not sure why you didn’t dump his ass as soon as you heard him order a fucking Pina Colada. I thought Jersey’s Frank and the appletini’s were embarrassing.
Well here they come. I thought it was funny how Jill introduces herself as ‘Jill Zarin.’ When guests are boarding and introducing themselves, when do you hear anyone give their last name? Like settle down there Jill, you haven’t been on Housewives for years and your other claim to fame, your rich husband, has passed on. Lucky guy. How did this Gary dude draw the short straw?
Kerry’s cool but so anal. Does he really need to still do these walk-arounds and nitpick about something as insignificant as the drain stop in the bathroom??
Whatever, the crew doesn’t seem to mind. I guess they’re picking their battles, which I agree with, and he’s not an asshole about it.
Right off the bat Jill sticks her pinky in the hot tub and demands that the temperature be lowered. She does realize she’s not the only one there right?? I feel like these people are all all a bunch of pussies because no one even tells her to shut the fuck up.
She’s on a free fucking vacation. She’s not even the primary’s guest. She’s the guest’s guest.
Someone that I hate with every fiber of my being, and have no respect for, however every now and then he said something that didn’t make him sound like the entitled douchey piece of shit that he is, said one time that if you’re not the one paying, you have no business bitching and complaining. I hate to say I agree.
And you can’t gauge the temperature of a hot tub just by sticking your finger in it. My God.
I think this gluten-free shit is in people’s heads. I can’t even fathom how horrible that shit tastes. Or maybe she’s one of these keto people. Which is horrible for your body.
After deciding for the whole group that the hot tub temperature is too hot, now she doesn’t like the ‘shape’ of the ice cubes in her nasty fucking Diet Coke. I don’t trust anybody that is obsessed with Diet Coke. Or any soda. Soda is the worst. Alcohol is so much better for you.
She demands other ice. I don’t know why Barbie is catering to this bullshit. She could have easily said it’s the only ice they have. This hag is on a free fucking vacay and can’t deal with her ice being a different shape than she’s used to.
Hey sorry Gary, but your friends are NOT inviting you on any more trips unless you leave this dumb ugly bitch at home.
What is wrong with this Gary dude? Is he that desperate? I know guys can be REALLY DESPERATE, that they’ll take anything that gives them attention. Even when they look like an unattractive man with tits.
She literally brags “I just showed them how to make good DIET coke, with nuggets.”
Anthony struggles with what to make for this very finicky group.
What’s with Fraser’s sudden animosity towards him? Did they have some sort of lovers’ quarrel or what? Did Anthony shut him down? It’s so bizarre. Five minutes ago he was sitting on their night out telling the guys they should show him more help and appreciation, because he’s just so awesome.
If the dude is dyslexic, I can see how this is overwhelming. Fraser making notes on the white board is probably not helping, and maybe making him more agitated and confused.
Noah’s father, Jill proudly announces, invented the ‘Moderna vaccine.’ Who the fuck cares. That’s something to brag about? he invented a vaccine that doesn’t work.
I assume she is referring to the covid vaccine? Does she realize Moderna is the name of the pharmaceutical company? I like how it’s been normalized for ‘vaccine’ to mean the covid shot, which is funny because it’s not even a true vaccine. She thinks Moderna is synonymous with covid. because that’s the only vaccine, and only virus that exists, you know.
Jill is so fucking dumb. I recall back in the early RHONY days, how stupid she and Luann were. I used to think, wow it’s good they married well, because they are dumb as rocks. Luann more so than Jill. Bethenney, before she became insufferable, used to crack me up making fun of Luann, and the dumb things she said.
I’m so over the confessionals of the stews bitching how they’re “not used to a boat this big.” I thought Cat left. Well, get used to it! You signed up for this. Did you get $2000 tips for 48 hours’ work on those small boats?? Yeah, no. So shut up.
It’s along the lines of – ‘if you didn’t pay for it, shut up!’
Jill claims she “captained a boat.” Kerry humors her.
Oh Melinda, you poor thing. God forbid you should have ‘salt water’ on you. My God – these people.
Fucking Jill sends her lackey, Bobby II, to ask for a ‘makeup mirror.’ Sure dude they have random fucking makeup mirrors lying around.
Whatever. She’s too dumb to look for an outlet. She really thought there was no outlet in the whole entire fucking bathroom??
She demands to Barbie that the whole bathroom should be loaded with toothpaste. mouthwash, band-aids and tums.
This 60-something year old broad can’t fucking manage to pack her own fucking toiletries and tums on a free vacation.
I really think she thinks she’s funny. I don’t know why Barbie is even giving this shit any merit. She tells Fraser and Xandi, who runs to make her up a toiletry basket. Great. Keep encouraging her.
The dumb cheap bitch is probably just going to shove everything in her suitcase.
“Somebody’s been scrambling” she tells Xandi. Oh my God. What a pretentious fucking asshole. They’re creating a monster here.
This gray dreads Jen chick looks like she would be a vegan, a yoga instructor, and she looks like her name would be Jen.
Fucking Fraser has the audacity to be bitching about Anthony making a mess of his own fucking space, which he cleans up, and he’s here making round tofu pieces that look identical to scallops so the vegan guest feels like she’s eating the same thing. Also bakes a from-scratch fucking cake. Yes, Fraser, there is going to be a mess.
That raspberry cake looks ridiculous and delish. The vegan Pina Colada slop, not so much.
This crew is not the partying crowd, and head to bed directly following dessert. And I mean directly. I’m sure they’re not mad about it.
Morning, and Jill is already bitching. She simply cannot wait thirty seconds for Fraser to be available and suggests a button on the table to beckon them like literal servants. I can’t. This cannot be for real. I’m going to give this hag the benefit of the doubt and say maybe producers encouraged her to be a pain in the dick.
This poor Gary dude looks so embarrassed. He won’t even look up as she’s delivering this bell speech, that only she thinks is hilarious. I’m assuming she sucks a mean dick. Why else would he be with this 60something year-old child?
They just had breakfast but Jill needs snacks. This Melinda so-called primary, seems to be appreciating, and even encouraging Jill’s demanding random shit non-stop.
I think Melinda will be okay without snacks for a minute.
The burger lunch, I don’t know if it was the best idea with all of the different restrictions and pickiness. Some are gluten free buns, some are lettuce wraps some are veggie burgers some are regular burgers, cheese, no cheese. This isn’t a diner. I’m surprised they didn’t start complaining about having hamburgers.
As Jill bitches about every fucking thing and talking down to the crew, everyone just sits at the table looking embarrassed but says nothing. As for Gary, I’m not sure the dude even knows how to talk. Actually does anyone here know how to fucking talk?? He even makes faces as she’s lecturing the table on how she thinks things should be going. I wish they would have shown a better angle of these disgusted face he’s making.
It really is turning into The Jill Show. She doesn’t even seem to fit in with this tatted up reserved group.
Xandi and Barbie have some little tiff at the end over ironing a napkin.
Okay so the sushi appetizer turns into a big huge fucking episode.
Jill is the one that requested this shit. Also Mrs. Primary told her to handle it, and was standing right there and could have easily clarified that she wanted some with cooked fish.
‘No raw fish’ was not specified during that conversation. Even though I understand it was on her sheet. Assuming that’s why Take Over Everything Jill demanded raw veggies on the side. Or maybe those were just for her. In any case Melinda stood there on mute as this convo was taking place, and Frenchy made it clear as you can see in this captioned still, how he was preparing it. She could have asked if it was going to be cooked. On a bougee yacht you’re not getting ‘sushi tempura’ for chrissakes.
Everyone is confused as to why Jill is hijacking the vacay, if the other bitch is paying for everything. Also why is she requesting sushi if neither one of them even like it?? Sushi IS typically raw fish. It even looks like she’s thinking maybe she should say something but I guess is afraid to? She’s afraid of Anthony who she could probably squash like a bug if she wanted to.
So the sushi is presented and I guess it ‘s Mr. Primary that says are there any that ‘don’t have fish?’ Dude, it’s FUCKING SUSHI. Your dumb ass pudgy wife stood there saying nothing when Jill requested it. Jill chimes in with “there should be.” I feel like she knew this was sort of on her.
But again, I think she’ll be okay. They zoom in on her pouting. How about grow a pair and tell that fucking hag Jill to stop running the show?
Kerry is involved and tells Anthony to stop listening to fucking Jill.
This was NOT Frenchy’s fault. The conversation went exactly how he recaps it to Kerry. So no, he didn’t ‘forget’ to do a veggie option. Raw veggies were requested in addition to sushi. Kerry is blaming him, and I don’t think it’s fair.
This Melinda chick just stood there looking stupid in her bathing suit dress, when Anthony explained how he was going to prepare the sushi that Jill demanded (who also doesn’t like sushi, so I’m confused.)
So now who’s looking stupid here? I would say Mr. And Mrs. Primary, to be honest, for not having the fucking courage to speak the hell up, on a trip they’re paying for. Mrs. is sort of gritting her teeth like she realizes she should have made sure the was making special sushi for her, if she wanted sushi. I don’t suppose she’ll own that at all?
