Below Deck 1/9/23

Camille storming into the cabin where Alissa was working and threatening her to get the fuck out was really something else. This chick is really something else. Not in any kind of good way.

“I’M IN HERE AND YOU’RE JUST SITTING HERE, PLEASE GET OUT!!

Okay Captain Crazy. She’s actually making the bed. You can see how Camille would get easily confused between what is work and what is just sitting there though.

Does this chick not have her own cabin to go to for her tantrum throwing?

This meltdown is from being told she needs to do her job, or she’s out. Should that really be a shocker? To a normal person? She goes to her cabin and manages to talk herself off of the ledge and get it together. Camille together anyway.

She heads to the kitchen and breaks another glass. Perhaps she should be taken off of dish duty?? And all duties. And sent home.

So I guess Camille and Ben sealed the deal the previous night. In the top bunk with Tony sleeping below. That’s awkward.

Sandy gives Camille “I’m proud of you” accolades for merely doing her job. Good job Camille, for doing your fucking job without flipping out for an entire ten minutes. I’m speechless.

She asks Alissa if she’s proud of her too, and you know damned well she’s thinking the exact same fucking thing I said, and she has this huge fake smile on her face, trying to pretend like she agrees.

Guests are arriving and it doesn’t take long to realize they are going to be really high maintenance. They seem like they really need to make sure the staff realizes that they are the staff.

Just in case they get confused I guess. But to be fair, Camille does need reminded of this. No one else does though. I think you’re good dude, your needs will be met, asshole. Sit down.

They’re already bitching they’re starving to death.

Fraser is also giving Camille unnecessary accolades for merely doing what she needs to be doing. She’s still super slow and finds any excuse to stop working. Already she walked away from the table she was setting. I think she has ADD, or just gets confused. Now she’s making out with Ben in the hallway. Yeah good job girl!! Keep it up! Please, for the love of God, keep it up so you can get the fuck off of the boat!

Lunch gets served as they keep bitching how hungry they are, and they want food NOW!

They quickly start to bitch that the fish is bland and dry. If it was so bland, why didn’t they use the sauces that were on the table?

Rachel is cracking me the fuck up. She is a natural in her yap sessions. She needs her own show!

Why is Captain Sandy lurking around after the guests? I guess she’s just bored.

Katie bitches about Ross being so Ross. I’m glad she’s not having sex with him. And if she does, she had better use a condom with this filthy freak.

Camille forgot she had to do cabins. So as predicted this didn’t last long. Isn’t she like catching on to the drill by now? She shouldn’t need to be told every fucking thing. Sandy showers her with praise again, even though she’s standing there doing nothing.

Dinner is starting, and these uncivilized assholes are already bitching. The one chick literally spits her food into a napkin. I cannot imagine it would be that bad, if Rachel made it. Could we be more dramatic? She and Camille should get along.

There’s always one really unrefined crew of guests every season, is there not?

This same bitch is continuing to bitch in the presence of Fraser, and he ignores her. He can tell she has no clue what the fuck she’s talking about. He can tell she is one of those people that likes to hear herself bitch.

It’s cigar and hookah time. Apparently they’re smoking their cigars backwards. So help a girl out here, how do you smoke a cigar backwards?? What a ding dong. Worst part is that that they think they look so fucking cool.

They’re up until 3 am continuing to order drinks. A glass gets broken and the extra asshole dude orders Alissa to clean it up. As if she wasn’t going to clean it up. What a fucking twat this dude is.

Alissa says she’ll wipe her ass with his pillow and put it back on his bed. Yeah now we’re talking!

Wise up assholes, not a good idea to be shitty to the chick that’s serving you food and drinks, and cleaning your rooms. I had this chick I couldn’t stand at work, she kept fucking telling on me. Well I did a little something gross to her phone one night when I was there alone. NOT REALLY SORRY! I really wanted to pour bleach in all of her plants, but I figured when they all croaked, she’d know it was me.

So apparently Ross will be giving Tony shit for getting up at 4 am to work out, which is 1.5 hours earlier than when he needs to get up. Clearly this stupid ass sex maniac dude knows like ZERO about working out, and people that routinely work out, and how it clears your mind and cleanses your soul. Stay in your lane Ross. You’re an icky skeevy creep with no muscle tone on your body whatsoever, that participates in gross group sex rituals. Tony likes to work out, and keep his body in top form. You do not.

Does Tony look like he can sometimes pick up the pace? Yes. But he’s hardly what I would call a weak link in the deck crew. He does every fucking thing he’s told with a fucking smile on his face.

Ross addresses it with him, and it doesn’t go over well. I don’t blame Tony really. This is bull shit. Ross is acting like a petty little bitch right now. Tony assures him the extra rest will be canceled out by missing his workouts which keep him in check. Maybe Ross should spend some time putting some sunscreen on his nose, instead of making problems where there are none. Or he could try doing a sit up or two.

They’re getting ready for the beach picnic, and the nearby beach that was chosen is not very secluded and beach like. I mean there is the ocean, so there’s that. And there is some sand. But it’s a grassy area with people around and apparently it smells like dog shit. But whatever. These guests are impossible to please anyway.

The bitch that spit out her food is whining that they want to go as soon as possible. If she could shut up, it would be nice. You’re on vaca. Chill out.

“Are you guys ready?”

“We’ve been waiting”

Okay woman. We get it. You need to act important.

I can’t wait to see what kind of punk ass tip they leave. Someone on Twitter suggested they’re purposely bitching about everything so they have an excuse to leave a shitty tip.

Loud mouth is already pissing and moaning about the beach being rocky. I think we should lock Camille and this fugly hag up in a room for five hours, with hidden cameras everywhere. Who’s with me on that?

Rachel jokes with the stray dog running around that she’s going to put him on service. He would probably do a better job than Camille.

Back at the boat, Sandy and Hayley are doing leg extension exercises. Hayley says ‘they’ say to do this for ½ hour a day. I think it goes, if you do this it for five or ten minutes, it’s like a half hour nap or something like that. Because it replenishes your body with new blood or something gross like that.

I mean it sounds gross, but it’s good for you. I used to take yoga (I need to get back into it!!) and our instructor always said that when we did that exercise.

The guests go into hardcore bitching about the beach. Maybe it could have been explained to them that this was the best available. It’s really not that bad, at all. It’s actually a gorgeous view. The ocean is there, maybe they’re not seeing it. They even go into complaining about the water temp. Sure that can be controlled by the deck crew you dingaling.

Camille is swimming with the guests. So glad she’s taking this ‘you have this charter to prove yourself’ thing so seriously. Alissa tells Fraser she’s swimming, and he doesn’t seem concerned.

Even after all of the reprimands, and Sandy getting involved, and the way she spoke to him on last week’s episode.

He even in his yap seems to be making excuses for her. He seems to be minimizing her incompetence, and says she and Alissa don’t get along, and he doesn’t know where he stands with her, and she seems to be working a bit harder and faster. (I guess a BIT is accurate) He seems like he’s trying to rationalize not dealing with the issue, and doing absolutely nothing. Even after he tried to talk to her last week and she chewed him up and spit him out.

He doesn’t know whose side to take so he’s not taking a side. Dude. No. This is not a ‘friend group’ here. By ‘picking sides’ he is acknowledging who the problem is. It’s not taking sides.

Fraser was not ready to be chief stew. He lacks the management skills to do this job. It pains me to say that because I do love Fraser. But I wish he would suck it up and stop trying to be everyone’s friend.

This whiny bitch complains to Sandy about the beach. Sandy tells her that’s something they can’t control. She shuts up.

Fraser realizes Ben and Camille are alone together on the beach. So he’s not ‘picking sides’ but is concerned his stew is fucking off on the beach with her BF, instead of working. Which she is. Who knows how long in real time, she and Ben really sat on the beach looking at the sunset.

Camille asks him if he thinks she looks pretty, and he tells her she looks like a drowned rat. That was funny.

So what happens next I would like to say was shocking and unbelievable, but really it’s not. At all.

Let’s keep in mind, Camille really didn’t work that hard on the beach picnic. Most recently she was frolicking around the water, and sitting on the beach making out with Ben.

She gets back to the boat, and Hayley asks her to do something, since she and Alissa are on service taking care of the guests for the past whatever, I’m going to guess two hours, and Camille just can’t listen to any instruction right now. She’s super stressed guys!

She cuts her off. “I just can’t right now. I need a minute.” Like soooo dramatic. Could this bitch be any more theatrical?? why is she acting so fatigued exactly?? She literally just came back from doing NOTHING!!

Alissa is of course annoyed at this, and tells her what she needs to do. Then, as you would expect, she loses her shit at being given an instruction. Alissa threatens to go to Sandy.

Camille bitches at Alissa for telling her she was going to tell Sandy the way she’s acting. She actually should tell her. I’m not for tattling, but sometimes it’s necessary.

Well this escalates like crazy, as Camille still insists she does nothing wrong, and she’s a great stew. And it’s in the open area at the bar. And the guests can clearly hear this.

Alissa should have had the professionalism and common sense to shut this down, knowing they were being loud, and the whole damned boat could hear this shit. Sandy hears, and is not happy.

Please fire this girl. Please. It’s not entertaining. I’d rather listen to Hayley all day long crack jokes, then listen to this girl’s stupid entitlement and screeching.

I blame Fraser for not doing his job, putting it all on Alissa, and not correcting this girl.