I’m struggling with this one, but I’m really trying to tune in and recap.
I thought last week’s episode was pretty horrible. I sort of watched it.
Apparently Angela and Pinky got into a scuffle. Pinky told Angela her husband doesn’t like her, which is 100% true, and Angela told Pinky there’s a ‘third wife’ living in the basement.
Okay my question is, who the hell is the second? And where is she? In the attic?
Shamea and Drew bicker at breakfast.
‘Bicker at breakfast.’
OF COURSE we’re bitching about rooms not being to their satisfaction. On a 100% free trip in which you’re getting paid well to go on.
These women not feeling that any accommodations are ever good enough for them is so fucking predictable and boring.
Then leave. For real. Just fucking leave. Not leave and go to a hotel, just LEAVE and go home, if it’s that miserable.
They split up for activities so everyone can talk about each other.
I literally just remembered from last season how tacky and hookery Kelli dresses. Especially on the trips. And this season is status quo.
Angela double downs on the live-in ‘wife’ situation in the basement. So is it her wife or his? I might get a little lesbian vibe from her. Not that there’s anything wrong with it.
Last week Shamea and Kelli were bitching that their room wasn’t cleaned. Also they’re sharing a bed, and we don’t like that.
That usually does not ever go over well.
They bitch to Cynthia on the van, that it still hadn’t been taken care of.
Such problems.
Cynthia who is usually cooler than a damned cucumber begins to get agitated at how the bitching has taken over the trip. She explains that she asked that it be cleaned.
I feel like Production does this shit on purpose. Just like on Potomac, no running water on Angel’s Colorado trip? Seriously?
Now a dirty room on this multi-million dollar estate? And since I was paying zero attention to last week’s episode, I’m not sure what constitutes a ‘dirty room.’ A little dust? Crumbs on the floor? What are we talking about here?
I hate when they bitch about accommodations in the way that it’s “not what I’m used to…”
Just stop. Very few of these ladies (across all franchises) grew up with silver spoons in their mouth. Just fucking shut up with that.
Well the ‘cattle herding’ excursion was a complete bust. It was literally watching them walk down the street.
The other crew is horseback riding. Or looking at horses. Not sure because certainly no one is dressed for ‘riding.’ Not horses anyway.
Another wardrobe critique: Angela, a very tall and shapely woman, tries to wear SUPER short dresses and heels she can’t walk in.
ALL Housewives wear extremely high heels to inappropriate places constantly. (see if changed shoes)
The horse has a tantrum, and appears like he’s going ot charge at the ladies.
The trainer the asks who would like to ride this horse that didn’t seem to like any of them. There are a lot of excuses and no takers.
Not even Phaedra who has been bragging up a storm how she was an award-winning equestrian in school. Seems she’s having a wig situation.
The horse lady seems pissed. I assumed they knew what they were doing.
Porsha’s definitely dressed like a cowgirl. I don’t know what her problem is. Get on the fucking horse for two minutes.
Then again she does have her tits hanging out of her shirt.
The cattle herders go for food and mixies since there’s nothing else going on.
Pinky’s mad the restaurant of choice (in Dallas,Texas) is not vegan.
She orders fries. Pretty sure there were salads, and vegetables on the menu, but she’s looking for pity right now. “I’ll just sit here and eat my fries…” I have a feeling she’s quite pleased to eat french fries.
I don’t feel bad for NO VEGAN. Your options are so limited and that dumb shit is YOUR choice. Also almost any restaurant serves fries, salad and veggies. So shut it.
Cynthia is tolerating no dumb shit. She kind of sounds like the mom to a bunch of teenagers to be honest. I like it.
Shamea and Drew stand up to face each other as if they’re going to squash their ‘beef’ no pun intended, in the steak and rib joint, then they decide they’re NOT going to squash it because neither can apologize for whatever the fuck they’re pissed about, I don’t even know.
Cynthia scolds them to sit the fuck down, they look like idiots standing there like they’re having some kind of standoff.
I phrased it the way she WANTED to say it. But she’s Cynthia and has class.
After we didn’t ride the horse, there’s an Italian wine tasting inside a sweltering barn full of horses, in Dallas. That’s strange, but whatevs. It’s free wine.
Meanwhile at the steak and rib joint, Cynthia starts bitching at Pinky and I have no idea why. I guess over something that happened last week that I don’t recall.
Drew drops in on a napping Cynthia and something tells me this isn’t a friendly ‘hey girl hey’ drop-in. She tells her she’s doing a good job hosting, but I foresee a but.
In other words, Housewives go on these trips solely to bitch and complain the ENTIRE time.
Sounds like a vacay with my ex-husband. Fucking pissing and moaning non-stop about EVERYTHING.
I haven’t given that two-inch dick narcissistic fucker a shout-out in a minute. It was time. I don’t want him to feel neglected or anything.
Actually I stand corrected. Not about my ex. He DOES have a two-inch dick. And he IS miserable angry little man.
Drew didn’t com really complain to Cynthia. They just made fun of Shamea’s bad dancing and gossip about how annoying Pinky is.
Kelli’s style is actually not nearly as bad as it was last season. She either saw herself and realized it, which is what I hope, or listened to the viewers telling her she looks like a prostitute.
They head to dinner. Everyone’s outfits are so tight, I do not get how they’re going to eat but they’ll figure it out.
Angela again, doesn’t disappoint with ill-fitting micromini-dresses not made for women that are 6’5.”
K Michelle seems put off that Phaedra had ‘white lady’ fans at the airport. Well yes, white ladies watch the black ladies shows, and black ladies watch the white ladies shows. We don’t care. Women screaming is women screaming. Is it weird of me to point out that a black country singer shouldn’t be concerned about what race the viewers are.
So in the van on the way to dinner I guess we’re needing to rehash how Porsha didn’t attend Kelli’s stupid restaurant event.
Why not? When we all forgot about, moved on, and don’t really care, but sure, okay Bravo.
Who slept with a married man, what married man, who didn’t sleep with a married man, who did but said she didn’t…
WHO CARES.
I don’t care, but Porsha does seem to have receipts on Kelli’s interaction which she continues to vehemently deny.
I hate to say I believe Porsha. With the amount of details that she has and Kelli’s body language, I think it’s true.
What makes this more repulsive than your average lying deceitful skank sleeping with married men, is that Kelli was dragging the shit out of Porsha for doing the same. I would say this is embarrassing, and she will continue to deny it.
Phaedra chimes in with how she also knows who this man is, and even knows his wife.
This ride took a downward turn.
What IS scissoring anyway? The Housewives seem to be a little obsessed with talking about it.
