Sergio and Caroline recap the ‘Housewarming’ the night before, which let’s face it, was not that warm at all.
I just noticed Taleen was smoking when they were outside screaming at each other. Which is no big deal, I know people smoke, but we’re not used to seeing Housewives smoking. Also it looks like one of Stanbury’s Housekeepers is refereeing. Is that in the job description I wonder?
But her standing there sucking on a ciggy as Brooks is yelling names at her gave it even more of a trailer park vibe.
I love how Sergio loves Raffi. Actually I love Raffi. Back off Sergio!!
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One day ‘til Bali! The packing scenes aren’t really that interesting, are they? These poor women they just don’t know WHAT to take and HOW they’ll fit everything! Dilemma!
Bravo seems to think we want to see this though.
I love how chill the Dubai husbands are – Chris, Rich, Sergio, Raffi, chillest House Husbands guys ever!! WELL maybe not Sergio.
What’s it like to be in a relationship with a guy that doesn’t weigh you down and thrive off of stupid childish drama ? I would not know. Someone explain it to me please. It must be wonderful.
When they played that quick flash of Sergio’s jet ski rescue scene from last season, I realized how much skinnier Lesa is. She must’ve hit the ‘O’ too.
You know when a Housewife loses 20 – 30 lbs and they don’t even talk about it, it’s Ozempic.
I guess I can say that the altercation outside of Stanbury’s house was ghetto if Lesa said it first.
It was ghetto.
And normally I wouldn’t condone this, but Raffi had every right to be yelling at Brooks.
Taleen worries about going to Bali with Brooks in attendance. Raffi reassures her. I love him. I. Love. Him. He is a sweetie.
Brooks pretends like she doesn’t really want to go on the trip and she is considering not going.
This is a 13 hour plane trip from Dubai in case anyone was wondering. That’s a long ass flight.
Sergio arrives with Stanbury and they play a joke on the ladies that he’s coming on the trip.
He’s literally like one of the girls and ten times more pleasant than Stanbury, not sure what the big deal would be. He should have gone on the trip and left her ass at home.
Sara seems excited. I told you she’s into him.
Ayan clearly is NOT into him. She’s completely extra about how annoyed she is.
I’m glad he’s going to Spain to visit his family while Stanbury is away. Maybe they’ll convince him to leave her. Is that mean?
Brooks is a no-show at the airport. Everyone acts ‘concerned.’ She can’t even pick up the phone as they all try to call and text her. Well actually she hangs up on Sara. She wants everyone fussing over her and of course comply.
Sara goes to Bali ‘all the time.’ It’s only a mere thirteen hours away.
Stanbury is not buying into this ‘omg where’s Brooks-we’re so worried’ BS. Taleen pretends to care as she freshens her makeup.
Can you imagine after a 13 hour plane, ride plus the additional several hours of travel time, how tired and jet lagged you would be, then having to ‘look fabulous’ for a bougie dinner at 11pm??
Because I totally can’t. Although I’d be starving. I’d probably pass out after two sips of wine.
Ayan quickly starts playing the Housewife game at dinner, trying to get Taleen worked up.
No she wasn’t chasing her around saying “where’s your husband where’s your husband?” She pointed out that Raffi was simply defending her. And she did say where’s YOUR husband to Brooks, but ‘chasing her around’ repeating it was not accurate. From what we saw.
Taleen literally said she doesn’t want to deal with the Brooks housewarming drama two seconds before Ayan decides she needs to do the Provoke-a-Housewife thing.
She could have at least waited like a few more minutes after Taleen said she doesn’t want to discuss it. Timing is important Ayan if you don’t want to be obvious.
She plays dumb when Taleen calls her out for playing dirty.
Ayan quickly drops it when Taleen hands her ass to her on a platter. She’s good at putting these bitches in their place without completely losing her shit and looking like a crazy person. Which is what Ayan was trying to accomplish.
Fail!! Way to outsmart a dumb bitch, Taleen.
Sara, no one understands your ‘relationship’ with Akin because it makes no sense. She basically sealed her fate anyway, when she told him that he needs to pay for everything and ‘provide for her.’ What the hell?? Muslim or not, you don’t fucking say that!!
After dinner the vibe is vibing. No one is yelling or name-calling. Taleen shut down any Brooks convo at dinner so no dares bring that up.
It’s like Jersey when Teresa is absent.
Then wah-wah-wah…
Brooks arrives just in time to ruin the fun. Ruining the carefree vibe. And now it’s all about her, just as she wanted. I think she already has first chair. Maybe she could take a break for a minute?
If I have to sit here watching her do that weird face and hair flip through this whole trip, I’m going to lose it. Something is off with this broad, and you can’t tell me there’s not.
She brags how she blew some dude to fly her private. Good ‘job’ Brooks. Classy.
She didn’t say that, but it seems to be the case, I just rephrased.
Boat excursion is planned for the following day. Brooks is acting quite Brooks.
She and Stanbury have a private chat and Brooks tells her she decided to ‘disengage.’ Has she been hanging around BlaBla?
Stanbury ridicules her ‘spiritual healing journey.’ She’s right. Brooks is way too shallow for this shit. Brooks knows it’s true too.
Stanbury advises her to knock it off, and that she knows it’s fucking crap. She demands to know who funded her 250g PJ flight to Bali.
She basically admits she whored herself out for this trip. Well, she doesn’t deny it. Let’s put it that way.
Can’t Sara lose this wet suit? Her body is banging. What is the point of all this, really?? I think a lot of these rules having to do with religion are to keep you so busy following them, you don’t question them. And they were all made by men, by the way, so women kowtowing to them in this day and age, is odd.
That’s what Akin was trying to tell her, when she rolled out this ‘you have to provide for me’ order. That rule was made for the purpose of men controlling women, and telling them what they can and can’t do, and where they can and can’t go because they provide the money. Sara. Come ON. Get a clue.
Have a wine and put on a fucking bathing suit already.
Do men have to wear this hideous seal get-up to go swimming, I’m wondering? I think not. She could do a conservative one-piece, and I think God would be okay and approve. There IS a happy medium between a string bikini with your entire ass out, and this ugly ass wet suit.
Also what’s an act is her undying devotion towards Brooks, and trying to ‘fix’ her. So There is this ‘voice note’ floating around where Sara confirms she actually can’t stand her. That seems convenient.
I did pick up on at Stanbury’s housewarming, as Sara was sitting beside a hammered Brooks acting insane, she looked annoyed and embarrassed by her. I believe I said that in last week’s recap. Again, I know everything. That’s probably what prompted that statement by Sara.
To be fair, she just says she’s ‘not her biggest fan’ and she takes no accountability. It’s not THAT horrible.
It’s not like she called her a gold-digging alcoholic cracra tramp or anything.
That’s my job to be that blunt.
It’s dinner and we know this ‘voice note’ of Sara’s is getting played. Why can’t these bitches wait until after they eat everrrr? Let Sara eat her slab of meat with NO sides. What’s up with that? That’s weird.
Brooks arrives, not shitfaced, but looking like she’s had a few in her room.
Brooks brings up how Stanbury told her on the boat how this ‘healing’ thing Brooks is supposedly doing is a joke. Of course she gets immediately pounced on by Lesa.
I have to defend Stanbury, I do. It’s not like she thinks that the whole entire concept is stupid, but she realizes it’s not for her, and she is smart enough to see it’s definitely not a Caroline Brooks thing either. The two of them are very similar as far as not being that deep, or giving a shit they’re not that deep.
Stanbury again brings up how Sara talks for Brooks constantly, which is strange. As she questions why ever would she think that, and denies it, she’s literally doing it.
She says she’s not speaking for her, just because she interjects with her thoughts when Brooks “can’t get the words out.”
Okay, Sara, that’s speaking FOR HER. JeSUS!!!
I’m going to have to soon put Sara in my ‘ Really Dumb Housewife’ category. I didn’t want to because she tries so hard to sound smart. But she’s just not.
Not Saba speaking for Sara. The irony. I can’t.
Stanbury does the honors of bringing up the ‘voice note.’ Ayan explains what it said, but she doesn’t play it, then turns to Lesa and apologizes, since Lesa shared it with her in confidence.
Lesa’s pissed now, and looks like there is trouble in paradise with the number one in the group. bestie duo who “would never do that to each other.”
‘That’ being anything sneaky, dishonest or disloyal.
Ayan apologizes profusely. I think that she does feel bad, but also thinks it was worth it. She looks a little taken off guard that Lesa is this pissed off.
Stanbury looks smug as those two bicker.
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