I did miss recapping the last episode before the Christmas week off break, since I was in LA.
I do want to quick touch on the ending where Heather and Whitney discuss her book, and the excerpt about Whitney in a photo shoot when Heather was a photographer, taking nude pics. Heather being a photographer, and Whitney getting nudes taken is the exact scenario you would expect from these two ladies. You really can’t see it ithe other way around, right?
I guess I was little surprised that this is how they met though, in their adulthood, approximately ten-ish years ago. Thought they were ‘cousins?’ But whatever, it’s Utah. Pretty sure they’re all cousins. But anyway, Heather said she read to to the dummy word for word, the whopping one or two short paragraphs that she was planning, and Whitney approved. Heather questions that, but Whitney claims it was different reading it, than having it read to her.
You know, it takes a special kind of person to be willing to make yourself look and sound like a complete fucking retard in the name of attention, fame and money. I mean really, Whitney, I’m SO embarrassed for you. The word vagina or it’s connotation was used. Jesus.
So she claims to be humiliated, and that her “vagina and sexuality are exploited.” That statement doesn’t even make any fucking sense. Unless she had a picture of her vagina in her book. Whitney, no one cares about your vagina. No one.
Heather walks away from her, and leaves the restaurant where they were dining, because she’s the smart one, and is trying to not engage with this fucking retard.
And what does Whitney do? Why follows her, of course, literally, screaming and repeating, “my vagina and sexuality…” about fifty fucking times. But she’s embarrassed about the photo shoot interaction being mentioned in the book, Did I mention her tit is hanging out??
Do we need reminded of things like this she’s done for the Bravo cameras without batting an eye?
Woman sit the fuck down. Heather has more intelligence in her eyelash than in this dipshit’s brain. Her head is full of fucking rocks.
Enough of that, by far.
******
Okay, here we go – the anticipated finale episode.
They started off in a very ominous way as they do the weird sequence of events, fast-forwarding, then rewinding the scenes.
I thought this big dramatic news that Heather receives on the phone was going to be about Monica not paying her Beauty Lab bills.
heather beach)
Shit for brains, Whitney wakes up, and is so confused as to why Heather doesn’t want to talk to her.
We’re supposed to believe she just woke up and she has her entire face done. I know she has weird blotchy skin, but to be believable, I would’ve just put foundation on for my morning just-woke-up look.
She goes to Heather’s room, wanting to apologize. She does that “I’m sorry you’re upset” style of apology, which is not really even an apology, and doesn’t take accountability.
Heather is not really caring or into it, just like her last apology, which I forget what that one was before. She’s getting a little like Ramona Singer and her constant fake apologies.
She hugs her, to humor her and make her go away. She makes some sarcastic remarks that go over the fucktard’s head.
To be a relevant Housewife, she keeps starting shit with Heather that makes absolutely no sense, and everybody can see that it makes absolutely no sense. Unless you’re as stupid as Whitney.
*******
They’re off on their activity of the day, taking scooters to shop. Meredith in a blazer again? This time trench coat style, when it’s 80 degrees. We don’t know why. I don’t know that scooters are a good idea with this crew.
Monica again, with this rhetoric, how her ‘family’ helped build the buildings in Bermuda.
I don’t know why none of the girls ask her for a little backstory on that. What family? What buildings? What time frame are we talking about here? Distant relatives?? The island’s been around since the 1600’s so… I don’t know.
Nobody asks her to elaborate. Maybe no one cares. Maybe they’re just assuming she’s talking out of her fucking butt hole. There, I said butt hole, Heather.
******
Heather is on the phone. We hear only her side of the conversation, asking somebody what they found out and then she proceeds to start hyperventilating. Camera people and producers are all over this shit, as she pretends she’s trying to kick them out. I’m sure they knew that this was coming. I saw a video on TikTok today that Jen knew of this account, and filed a cease and decist order back in 2021. So yes, duh, Bravo knew Monica was behind it.
Another fun fact that you may or may not have heard at this point is that Jen from the fucking slammer is threatening to sue Heather for outing her for punching her in the face. My God, only Jen fucking Shah. Only someone with no fucking shame, no morals and no fucking self-awareness. Sitting in the slammer for theft, deceit and &&&& would threaten to SUE someone for announcing something that they actually fucking did.
Does this bitch have any credibility whatsoever, after she maintained for two fucking years she was innocent of the crimes in which she later admitted and plead guilty to.
******
Dinner gets underway, and they play a stupid game and argue over who’s more dramatic, Whitney or Lisa.
Meredith’s mad that nobody believed her about not sending info to Monica regarding Angie’s finances.
Heather points out that it made it hard to believe her, when she was not really seeming to defend herself. Maybe Meredith knew what was going on, because I too, find it hard to believe she was that calm about it.
Lisa spent ten minutes shrieking and screaming at her.
Heather addresses Monica, and the revelation that she received. She announces that Monica is behind an Instagram account that’s been trolling and divulging embarrassing gossip about the Salt Lakers.
They flash back to the weird color screen of a meeting prior to dinner, of Heather gathering everyone on the beach to give them the heads up.
Monica is the name behind ‘Reality Von Tease’ an Insta account that at first only exposed Jen Shah, since Monica worked for her, and had the tea, as well as dirt on the others that Jen was blabbing. I mean, why wouldn’t she??
They flash to scenes where Monica makes various comments definitely sounding like she’s pretty sketchy, but honestly didn’t we already know that? I mean, guys, a woman that will fuck around with her brother-in-law for a year and a half is really some type of ballsy trollopy bitch. To me, that’s a woman that doesn’t give A FUCK.
Doesn’t give a fuck about her dignity, doesn’t give a fuck about loyalty, doesn’t give a fuck about family. She cares about one thing, and one thing only. Getting laid. Sounds like some bitch I know.
******
Heather tells her that she knows she’s behind ‘Reality Von Tease’ and it’s my humble opinion, and I could be wrong, but I don’t really necessarily think she expected to hear this. She seems a little surprised.
When asked if she is indeed behind it, there’s an emphatic ‘NO!’ Then ‘well, kind of.’ Then it’s ‘yes I am, so what.’
I guess that’s what guilty sheisty people say when they’re confronted with doing something terrible.
So what? So what that you’re a fucking slimy slithery sludge with nothing positive to contribute ever? It’s kind of a problem when you’re ruining people’s lives because of jealousy and hatred deep within you for reasons that have nothing to do with the people you’re tormenting.
We should point out, and not be remiss in pointing out, that they do seem more upset with Monica than they were with Jen last year. But, whatever. There was some weird ass blind loyalty, and possibly blackmail, going on there.
Every time Lisa opens her mouth, Monica gets really triggered and agitated. She does have some sort of vendetta against Lisa, to me, seem to be driven by 99.9% jealousy. Lisa is rich and successful. Monica is not.
I mean, enough with the wrinkles already. Lisa’s not my favorite Housewife, but she is gorgeous, and honestly doesn’t look terrible for her age at all. I admire the fact that she’s not getting all this stupid fucking fillers, injections and plumping done. She clearly takes care of her skin.
Monica admits to wanting to take down Jen, and the other women were ‘collateral damage.’
She thinks that it absolves her of any type of guilt because she didn’t start the account. Meredith has a fair question after Monica announces that it’s Tinesha’s account, Heather’s former hairdresser.
“Then what did you do with the account? What was your part?”
This gets a deer in the headlights look from Monica. Maybe she’s not used to an intelligent articulate Housewife asking a valid question calmly.
Instead of answering, she pretends to look confused. Love the fake confused look. My favorite thing about liars. That when the scratch their ear when lying to you to your face.
She maintains her only contribution to the account was info about Jen’s dirty dealings, but I’m not believing it, and neither are they. It may have started out that way.
Heather gets on a whole big soapbox about how they’re this tight-knit group, and such great friends (Oh please) who have each other’s backs, which is why they stood behind and defended Jen until the end. And how dare Monica come in and try to fuck with that.
This leads to Heather admitting it was Jen that gave her the black eye. That all was really stupid. From what I recall, Jen seemed to have been the only way she would’ve happened. And when we know Jen has a violent temper.
When the flash to the scene from last year, she started stuttering, and answering for Heather when Meredith was asking, and she looked pretty guilty.
Apparently Jen watched from fucking jail, and posted on Insta, maintaining she didn’t punch Heather, and bragging how they still need her, and she’s constantly talked about. No, not really, but so on brand.
And what? You can have social media accounts in fucking jail??
Heather tells Monica she needs to go. “Pack your BAGS and LEAVE!!” is how she needed to say it.
The ending is a bit over the top, with them all embracing, hugging and crying. Whitney looks like she’s smiling. I mean the crap that was on this account was probably not that different from other gossip accounts and sites. Doubt that their lives were affected this freaking much.
Monica teases at the end, that there’s more to the story, and we’re gonna want to hear.
I’m having the feeling it’s not going to be that much more to the story, then what we already know.
