Vanderpump 3/29/23

Scheana works on her seating chart for the wedding “because she has more people coming.” However, she still cannot manage to squeeze in James’ girlfriend, who would take up like 2 inches of space, anywhere. Nope. Can’t do it. I guess her taking Katie’s seat makes too much sense.

People on FB chats think it’s okay to have a wedding and not allow your unmarried guests to bring someone. I however do not. These must be some cheap-ass zero etiquette people. Destination wedding or not. (I was given that reason as an excuse…) That even makes it more so, that your unmarried guests should be able to bring a date, being that a destination wedding is also about the experience for your guests. Wouldn’t you want them to have someone to enjoy that with ?? Does it make sense to bring your boy or girlfriend to a gorgeous vacation spot, and they have to sit alone somewhere while you’re off enjoying yourself? Who does that?? This is making Scheana come off as petty stubborn, and cheap.

James’ dad is not the best motivator for his sobriety journey. “Binge drinking is a rule of passage,”

he seriously says. They chat about Raquel’s interference into the group and how James’ precious little feelings are hurt over that. Since he was first in the group.

The Tom’s are feverishly trying to get this bar menu together. Not sure why we couldn’t have figured this out during the renos. ?? Poor planning, goofing off, and in over their incapable heads, obviously.

Schwartz invited Katie to a tasting for the menu items. So it appears they made up. He somehow is okay with her being involved in the bar now, when she wasn’t allowed when they were together.

They do sort of have a co-dependent relationship, as someone on one of the FaceBook chat groups pointed out. I couldn’t put my finger on how to describe it, but I think that’s perfect. They cannot stand each other, and have no respect for each other, but seem drawn to each other.

She doesn’t need to be “part of your life” Schwartz, that’s the point of divorce. And you do not have kids, so it’s all just ridiculous.

I think the upscale food menu is a good idea. Obviously. What were these guys going to do ? Serve wings and fries ?? With their bougie cocktails? Morons.

Ally was included in a girls’ dinner night. Lala makes fun of Raquel’s getting a little flustered when she was confronting her at Ariana’s pool party.

So, about that, since she’s not a natural born bully, and instigator, she may sometimes not be able to grasp the exact words she wants to say in that moment. I’m the same way, but I have put some people in their place in my time, Did it come super natural? No. Did I wish I could have had better delivery? Yes. But the important part is that Raquel is not letting BlaBla walk all over her anymore. I actually think calling her a bimbo and a mistress was on point. She said it calmly, and matter of fact, and it did piss her off as much as she tried to act like it didn’t. BlaBla rattles off more random insults about Raquel, just because she likes to hear herself ramble random insults. About anyone. Maybe I shouldn’t be defending Raquel, some might say, but is she any worse that Lala? I say no.

They start talking about the tarot cards and the twins flames, and whatever whatever. Ally being not permitted to attend the wedding and reception comes up, and Ally says in her yap she understands why she is not invited to attend. I guess she doesn’t think to ask why James can’t bring her as his guest, and question how trailer parky that makes Scheana appear.

James is a little dork I know, but do we think maybe it does has more to do with him wanting to have fun with her, and not wanting her to be all alone in Mexico, than flaunting her in front of Raquel?

He doesn’t really need to do that, he’s around her enough at home. I can’t see that being his main motivation. I really do think he sees it as bad manners, to leave her alone while he’s whooping it up. So James Kennedy has better manners than Scheana, which is pretty sad.

BlaBla (my new name for her, I got it from someone an a FaceBook chat, it’s perfect) joins Scheana and Brock for lunch and Lala immediately starts bitching about Raquel. I don’t know guys, is she coming off a little obsessed with the girl? Like she won’t shut up about her. She should be seeing how this looks at this point. It’s a little obsessive.

Then there’s this big dramatic love fest over Brock claiming that he appreciates Lala’s constant belittling of him last season, when she wouldn’t shut up about his ex-wife and kids in Australia, when really it wasn’t/isn’t her fucking business. I guess now that she sees she’s looking kind of foolish for fucking around with a married man, and now said married man has been fucking around on her, she’s forced just to eat that whole thing, and own how stupid she looks.

The scene where she sneers at Brock to not compare himself to Randall, because “he’s a stand-up fucking guy” has NOT aged well. So typical of Lala to act so blatantly superior, and now with everything that has happened, forced to admit what an asshole she was.

She does manage to say that “since she’s in her situation with Randall, she’s able to see that situations are not black and white.” In other words she should have just butted the fuck out, and spent more time worried about what her man was doing in the present time, instead of what Brock Davies has done four years ago.

Brock tells her he’s glad she was such an asshole about it, because it forced him to do something to rectify the situation. Great, let’s all encourage BlaBla to act like even more of a see you next Tuesday. I’m so in shock that she’s apologetic about it. Expect no other apology out of her this season. Or ever again. This is actually pretty mind-blowing.

Lisa hosts a tea party luncheon thing at Villa Rosa. We all know how much she loves to show off the old homestead. It’s actually a surprise pre-wedding soiree for Scheana. I thought Lisa has deemed herself to be bad luck when it came to the Vanderpump kids’ (I guess we can’t call them kids anymore, most of them are pushing 40, even though they don’t act like it. ) nuptials or wedding celebrations. So should she be hosting this at her house just days before the wedding?

They serenade her with ‘As Good as Gold.’ They should have at least had it playing.

She wasn’t really surprised because she saw her sister’s car. But she did an okay job acting like it.

James and Lala discuss Allie still not being permitted at the wedding and reception. She tells him to just ask Scheana. This is so stupid. Does Raquel really care whether or not James has her there or not? Why would she? She probably wants him there with Ally, so she can flirt with every single person on the cast in front of him, which clearly still bothers him. And then watch it unravel with Ally when he can’t control his jealousy.

Yes I know Blabla, oh wise one! Thanks for the advice!

He’s actually serious when he talks about asking her to marry him at the wedding. He starts taking babies, and BlaBla gets all cranked up about “bringing a child into the world” being a very serious situation. Even though she brought one into the world, just to ensure an 18 year payday from Randall. When she still thought he was loaded, because she knew damned well she wasn’t going to be with this dude that’s a 20 years older than her for much longer. Even if he was this ‘stand-up guy’ she claimed him to be.

Then he jokes about it being a ‘payback’ since Brock and Scheana were going to get married at his and Raquel’s engagement party last year. These words that I’m typing are so unbelievably foolish. Is this really happening? These guys need to grow the fuck up at some point. Also, what is with these stupid glasses he’s wearing?

Raquel and Schwartz get all flirty and cozy and discuss the ‘LVP’ he has tattooed on his ass. He tells her he’ll show it to her in Mexico. Raquel wants to get even tighter with him she says. Makes some weird joke in her yap about “vaginal tightness.” I think this girl has lost her mind. Either that or James really really sucks in bed. I think a little of both.

Hey why don’t you get a big ‘R’ on the other cheek??

Katie and Old/New Kristine did not attend the tea party and are planting flowers at Kristina’s house.

Katie carries on about the following day being her and Schwartz’ anniversary. Who cares. She goes on to say that she wants to have a dinner to ‘celebrate’ their house closing while they are in Mexico. Could the scenes of these two be any more boring and pathetic?

I can’t even begin to explain how idiotic that sounds. Who the hell does that? How is that something to ‘celebrate?’ That is called a sad occurrence.

Schwartz and Katie are freaking weird. Why didn’t they just stay together? They’re still interacting, still painful to watch, still having stupid arguments, still not having sex. Everything is the same. This way they could have kept the house at least.

James at the bougie soiree at Lisa’s, is feeling tipsy and starts swinging her plates around and acting liker a ten year old. Of course his drinking is getting out of control again. Of course it is, and it will keep getting worse. Duh.

They after party at S&S, and Sandoval promises the place will be up and running at the end of the month.

James approaches Scheana and Brock and basically begs them to allow Ally to attend the wedding and reception. And, instead of acting like normal adult individuals, and saying something like “of course she can come as your guest, what were we thinking?” (since that is how weddings normally work, attendees are invited to bring a guest) they stand there and him-haw around about it as if they’re the fucking King or Queen of England. Scheana gripes about the ‘seating chart’ and insists she has to “really think about where she can add a chair.” OhMyGod. Girl. Embarrassing.

What do you think honey, can you ‘envisualize’ not coming off as clueless hillbillies??

They ultimately decide that she can attend, after much consideration. Scheana says she’s “envisualizing” how to fit this 92 pound girl into the seating chart. ‘Envisualizing’. (not a word) Honestly she could even share a seat with James. I doubt this ceremony is going to be any longer than like 20 minutes. Why doesn’t she ‘envisualize’ having some common courtesy-type manners in the future? To me, if cost is that much of an issue, than you shouldn’t be throwing a huge destination wedding. You all can argue with me until you’re blue, but I AM right. Regardless of how you feel about James. That’s not the point.

Schwartz and Raquel bond over both being into the light projector things. So Mean-Ass-Follower Katie Baloney joined BlaBla in ridiculing her in Vegas over this, when her own fucking husband has one?? Whatever.

The gang arrives in Mexico.

Katie and Ariana soon get a call from Lisa that they have secured the spot they were looking at for their sandwich shop. I wonder if Randall is still an investor? **LOL** I guess they think they’re coming up with the cash?

Old/New Kristine decides she wants to attend the ‘welcome dinner’ I guess as Lala’s ‘guest’ since they walk in together. When Scheana hates her? But wait a minute, James can’t have his girlfriend at the wedding as a guest, until he begged and pleaded like an idiot? Jesus Christ.

The flash on Stassi’s comment about Scheana’s dress at her first wedding, that they keep playing over and over, which did come off as kind of – racist. I’m sorry to say. And I do try to not drop that term at every opening. I’m sure Stassi isn’t too happy about the scene being played on every damned episode. And when you take into account that Scheana is Mexican, it’ kind of gross and offensive. I agree with Scheana on that. She could honestly make that an even bigger deal if she wanted to. But she’s choosing to be the bigger person and let it go, and not say anything about No Titties, No Friends, Old/New Kristine, who was involved in that convo, sitting here at one of her wedding celebrations.

I’m perfectly comfortable with making racist comments – I’m Stassi Fucking Schroeder!!

But of course there is no shortage of drama at this ‘welcome dinner’ with now-drinking James present of course. Some friend of Brock’s had approached James and sort of invades his space.

James tries to act like the tough guy that he definitely is NOT, and brags that he should have “Will Smith back-handed him.” Yeah okay slow your roll, there Jamie. If you’re talking about the little spat with Chris Rock and Will Smith at the Oscars. Will Smith pretty much bitch-slapped him like a teenage girl. There was no back-hand, at all. That even sounds kind of like a sissy way for a dude to fight.

James, being the pussy that he is, thinks it sounds so bad-ass, to say ‘back-handed.’ James trying to sound tough is excruciating. At least he finally took those stupid glasses off.

You can shut it too, bitch, or I’ll back-hand you too!!

Then when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, enter Utah Hood BlaBla with HER asinine thug talk. She threatens to “knock him on his ass if he keeps talking to her like that.” I wish these two would hook up already.They deserve each other.

Unfortunately, I would say, that maybe the dude was drunk and a little ‘starstruck.’ I hate to admit that. James does realize he has been on a popular reality TV series for several years, doesn’t he? When you’re famous, or even infamous and on TV, I think people tend to act like they know you.

But apparently James was too stupid to figure that out and had to make it a whole thing. Ariana seems to be taking extra offense to the whole thing, so those two start to bicker at the table. I don’t know what she’s getting so upset about. Has she met James?

James claims that the guy is ‘lucky’ he didn’t punch in the face. James, dude, really don’t think you’re capable of throwing a punch? I don’t.

Ally walks away. She says in her yap, “who is this guy I’m dating?” James acting a fucking fool isn’t really a new thing, or a secret.

Share this

Facebook
Twitter
Email
Pinterest
Print

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *