Oliver looks so much like Garcelle. and can’t believe I didn’t notice it when he was on RHOBH.
Returning back from the disco place, and Raquel is intoxicated. I just can’t get over all of the Lala judgment.
So a word about Lala’s confessionals real quick.
She’s one of those, that talks so emphatically when she speaks, like you almost want to believe her and take her seriously just off of the way she is expressing her words.
But then if you have a mind, and you’re one of those people that cannot be brainwashed, and forced to believe in something like say, I don’t know, a scamdemic for example, then you’re like “wait a minute, she makes no sense whatsoever.”
“The sloppiness of Raquel…” I don’t know if I would trust you after one too many DRINKS…”
What??
She’s for realsies sitting here, and criticizing Raquel for being “sloppy drunk.” Lala is the queen of getting sloppy drunk. I get she’s sober now and it’s very admirable. Even though it is Lala, I wouldn’t take that away from her, but should she be sitting here on her fucking soapbox critiquing and ridiculing Raquel? (trying to keep separate what we know now, for the moment.)
Remember no one yet knew what was going on with Sandy. Which I know is horrific. It is. But please remember people, it takes two… Neither is innocent.
And what’s Raquel even doing that’s so fucking unbearable? She’s tipsy, kissed a guy on the dance floor, (didn’t suck him off on the dance floor, just kissed him, let’s relax) reheating food, and being silly. All things you’re supposed to do on a girls’ trip. (if you’re single)
All very typical behavior of a drunk girl in her twenties. What the fuck is their deal? How many times has even Katie been sloppy drunk? Only she gets mean and bitchy. Not cute and fun.
But as we see later in the ep, Lala is beyond even Housewife Hypocrisy with her fucking lectures for every fucking thing that Lala herself has done. Except not nearly to Lala’s level.
This was just the preface for the pre-planned take down. This is why Raquel was even invited. This is what is making me start to hate Bravo ‘Reality’ shows – these bizarre high school mean girl take downs. I’ve been waiting for someone to get a bucket of pig blood dumped on them. I think I would find that almost admirable at his point. Like stop all of this sneaky-ass bullshit. If you want to be a bitter mean-ass nasty bitch, do it right.
Sitting here on your soap box disciplining a girl for doing exactly what you have done, is kind basic and laughable. Thought ya weren’t ‘basic’ Lala??
The other three gossip about her in the bedroom. Aside from Lala, I don’t know why the others aren’t also unwinding. I thought this was a fucking party!
She enters what she thinks is going to fun girl talk, but they instead harass her about Oliver.
Lala insists she ‘punted’ him toward her.
“I would never trust you around my man.”
“Thank God you don’t have a man to have around…”
Like didn’t she walk right into that? And Lala does not hesitate to fucking tell people what is what. She literally she told Katie was fat. And then they became besties when she was with Randall, and getting whisked off on free trips on his PJ. (was it even his?) What I hate about this type of person (bully, narcissist) is that if you dare step on their toes, and tell them what’s what, it’s the end of the fucking world. However they can tell YOU anything they want, no matter how hurtful or offensive it is.
They make fun of her galaxy light. Someone on a chat group pointed out that the stupid Tom’s had something similar to this in a previous season. So bam, there. Dudes in their fucking 30’s were using one.
Raquel is right on, in her yap. Getting judged for getting drunk, being stupid, and having a little fun is so fuckdiculous with these girls. I just made up that word. I like it.
And Katie can just shut up, she was hitting on the most disgusting and embarrassing dude I have ever seen in my life, then bragged in her yap as she was doing a simulated hair swing, that she’s “talking to cute guys.” Loser.
She was texting him all night? She was seriously considering meeting this stranger, that looks like he’s quite capable of dismembering her body and flushing it down the toilet, in the middle of the night alone? Like what?
But Raquel is getting picked on for kissing a cute normal dude, that could get any girl he wants. Who the hell was talking to those geeks at the bar? NO ONE.
This is really happening.
Raquel emerges while the judgy judgers are again gossiping about her. Lala is still soapboxing away. Glad to see that Raquel is recognizing it, and sees how hypocritical it is.
Sometime I question her intelligence level, since she didn’t know not to put metal in the microwave, nor what a boundary is.
Lala and Katie shower together ? Is this a thing now?
So the Tom’s have NO extra money since they’re pumping every penny into S&S, with zilch profit, but he has some personal shopper chick coming to his apartment trying to sell him bougie shit? Dijana Jenkins on Beverly Hills. I wonder if he’s ‘allergic’ to stores too? There’s even a What Not to Wear (used to love that show) moment where she goes through his closet and gets rid of shit. She’s probably going to sell it on E bay.
I really can’t stomach listening to Katie talk about Schwartz, as if their relationship was the least bit ‘sacred.’ I liked my analogy from a few weeks ago, so I’m rolling it out a gain.
They were like two friends or roomies that couldn’t stand each other. They never even had sex. There was no chemistry between them whatsoever. I always thought that even back in the beginning.
He proposed to her because he’s sort of a submissive people-pleasing type of person, and Katie ordered him to propose. I know they say about couples, they prob shouldn’t be the same exact person to balance each other out or whatever, but he’s just so easygoing and whatever, and Katie is a miserable bitch with no personality.
Scheana informs Tom that Katie’s girls trip is a ‘divorce party.’ (NOTE: they’re not even divorced)
Schwartzie gets all in his feelings about it. He needs to just move on, and forget this marriage even happened. I know that sounds so cold and heartless, but it’s reality that anyone watching from the beginning should see.
It’s odd that Scheana is so into hanging with the boys. But at the same time not. Remember one of the dudes from a few seasons ago that ultimnately ended up getting fired, referred to her as boy crazy. I was laughing at that. That was such an accurate assessment of her behavior.
Every new dude she came in contact with, she was unbelievably crazy about, followed them around like a lost puppy, and when they weren’t into her, as they usually weren’t, then he was always ‘her best friend.’ So weird.
This car ride to Arizona gets cringy because Raquel starts opening up to the girls (who only invited her to bully her) about her break up with James. She starts to cry, and they pretend to feel bad, and for a second, you think maybe this isn’t going to be one of those ‘predictable’ girls trips, especially when they pull over while she’s mid-meltdown, and Lala gives her this sweet, girl power pep talk, that seems so unLala. Which it is, because it’s phony. She is an actress, not a great one, or a successful one, but an actress.
She even tells her she was “funny and cute” and enjoyed herself the previous night and to stop beating herself up. She reassures her that “they’re good.”
How can you talk to someone like that, and be just lying totally through your teeth and being insincere? And not even care, or feel bad. I don’t know how people are able to do that. It seems rather sociopathic to me.
Charli arrives and throws immediate shade at this new/old Kristina chick. Good. I’m starting to hate her, actually.
Katie, again – “talking to cute boys.” What is wrong with this girl? I’m all for talking to cute guys, but ones that are actually cute, and not whatever the fuck that was last night.
The Toms discuss getting their shit together with the bar. I think it’s weird for people to open a bar/restaurant that aren’t really even ‘foodie’ people.
Vibe and ambience is like 10 or 20% of the experience, and the rest is the fucking food. I don’t get why this could not have been all squared away simultaneously to the reconstruction and decorating. It’s not like these guys were doing the actual labor. Thought that was the job of this Greg guy? To be, like the brains. If the menu was already accomplished, they could literally be opened right now.
James arrives at TomTom, and they make him a, sorry to say, girlie drink. (even though it has beer, it also has the word ‘spritz’ in it, so do the math)
This is so on-point as far as the Bravo dudes lately. I can add this one to my growing list along with Jersey Frank, Ben Below Deck, Kyle Summer House. What is going on?
And they drink from fucking straws. Straws. So they don’t mess up their lip gloss I guess? I’ve literally never seen a dude drinking an alcoholic beverage from a wine glass, from a straw. Thought they were killing the turtles anyway?
At least James ignores the stupid straw. Sandoval, however does not. Maybe this is why your girlfriend has sex with you four times a year, dude.
So now the ‘boys night’ is being planned in direct competition of Katie’s divorce party. This is so adult. This is exactly what normal 40 year old’s do.
Back to Arizona. As soon as they sit down to dinner, they immediately start poking at Raquel. Lala refers to her as “a liability.” Because she got tipsy and kissed a single guy (sort of) who was coming on to HER, (not Lala) came back, ate food and made a snarky comment that Lala walked right into.
Raquel points out what a hypocrite she is being, but Lala has her full bully on, and now Katie gets her queue to chime in, probably from a producer hanging behind the camera dude, with “why is she a hypocrite?” Really Katie? Why is she a hypocrite?
And as far as Lala saying to her “baby you gotta let that go, it was six years ago.” Please keep in mind that Raquel just learned of it. So she’s telling her that she should just let it go, and “stop hanging onto something” that she literally just found out about.
Like if you’re going to push someone around, and try to intimidate them, at least make it make sense, and don’t sit here and accuse a chick of doing something that you yourself have done. Like fucking James when he was with Raquel, like fucking Randall when he was married. Basically she was a fucking whore and admitted he bought her shit to have sex with him. (like a fucking Range Rover…)
Charli is correct, her being a spokesperson for women’s virtues is ludicrous. FUCKDICULOUS
Predicable girls trip, as I said.
Katie, who has Lala doing her dirty work, tries to compare her hitting on Schwartz with Lala having a full on affair with a married man.
“I’ve been very gracious to you, I could light your ass on fire for what you’ve done…”
Okay there Erika Jayne, settle down.
Spare us Katie, don’t forget you drunkenly told Scheana that Raquel should go for him. I actually think they’d make a really cute couple to be honest. They’re both so easy going I don’t know what they’d even argue about. I think she would be a breath of fresh air, compared to Katie. A big whiff from a sewer would be breath of fresh air compared to Katie. That was harsh. I don’t care.
Not to mention that he might actually get laid. I think Katie realizes this, and that’s the main thing she’s pissed off about.
But what can we say? Knowing what we now know. She picked the wrong fucking Tom. She should have least gone for the one that was sort of mostly single. Separated but not yet divorced, not the one in a relationship, with whom she was friends with his girl friend.
Now Lala gets all thug talk. We don’t care if ‘mistress’ hits a nerve with you Lala. Don’t care. It’s what you were. Having sex with a married dude, while he ‘keeps’ you, and buys you a car and designer shit, is the fucking definition on a mistress. It’s still gross. Even more so, since it’s not 1950. It gives women such a bad name.
The gruesome threesome in AZ, still all glued to each other, following each other around, and still gossiping about Raquel. Of course not acknowledging that Lauren from Utah got her ass handed to her the previous night, by Raquel of all people. I like how she was so calm about it too. Just gave her some friendly reminders, putting a ho in her place.
It’s like they’re obsessed with her or something. They’re pissed the trip has been about Raquel, and not stupid grumpy ass jealous Katie Baloney.
The misery loves company brigade has moved to the outdoor area. And they’re still talking about Raquel. Maybe these ho’s should get a life. They don’t seem jealous at all.
Raquel and Charli decide to leave the trip and go home. Lauren tells her, yes you should leave. Now what the fuck are these three dicks going to do? Their entertainment just walked out the door? Oh well, they still have the Schwartz pinata.
Raquel tells them that Schwartz is also having a ‘divorce party’ and she’ll be attending that instead. I’m not even sure she realized how that would sound, but whatever. I’m for whatever pisses them off at this point.
This Old/New Kristine chick is really good at the condescending talk. “That makes sense.”
Raquel tells Lauren, she’s just pissed Oliver chose her.
Boom.
“It ain’t about Oliver.” Well honey it started about Oliver.
Now this party just got really lame. I mean it was lame before, but yikes. I feel almost sorry for them.
Old/new Kristine: “Let’s try to have fun today…”
Lala: “I don’t even have to try…” Yikes, okay, that sounded… convincing…
Well yeah you kinda do, you’re all giving off a vibe of a bunch of pissed off and bitter hags. Sorry not really sorry. They’re trying to talk themselves into the fact that they’re going to have this “bomb ass day.” Now it’s getting entertaining finally, watching these three pretend to have fun. I’ve never been to a divorce party (why didn’t I have one?) but aren’t they supposed to be like, fun??
Remember these bored jealous mean girls sort of started Raquel making the trip about her, because of them, making the trip about her. They were talking about her NON-STOP. Just pointing that one out.
Old/new Kristine is trying way too hard to clamor for a full-time Pump spot. Like stop. And yes, get Katie’s dick out of your mouth.
This is starting to be a new Bravo thing. A new friend gets introduced that is a mouth piece for a veteran cast member. BO-RING, AND PATHETIC.
Didn’t seem like the lake trip was that fun. Maybe they didn’t show the fun part. Katie just seems miserable as usual.
Toms are tasting the food menu at S&S. I think it’s a good idea to have food options that are different from what’s in the immediate area. Like an upscale sort of, bar for the area. It’s such a great idea that you can totally tell the Tom’s were not involved in this decision. I feel like as experienced restauranters, that’s something they should have thought of. But then again these are the Tom’s. Thinking isn’t their strong suit.
Meanwhile, back at the Lake, and it’s very exciting Schwartz pinata time. The head immediately goes. Is there no candy in it? Like what’s the point of a pinata with no candy? Lame. Everything about these three is pathetic. That lasted all of twenty seconds.
Boys Not Divorce Party gets underway in LA. of which there are like ten happy rowdy participants. Opposite of the three crabby critiquers in Lake Havasu, desperately hitting on any random fucking dude that happens by. Funny how no one is actually approaching them. Just pointing that out, for anyone that may not have noticed. Guys typically are not going to hit up women that have these sour ass looks on their face constantly.
James in his yaps, are cracking me up a little extra this season. Maybe he was always funny, because he does not hold back and he’s sarcastic as fuck. He points out that Lala being the alpha, God forbid Raquel shows her up in the slightest.
Then he does this cat fight rendition, which is pretty much exactly what happened.
I actually think Lala is really bitter, that she’s stuck with Randall’s kid now, and is insanely jealous of Raquel living her life foot loose and fancy free. (that’s an old saying, I forgot about til now, but it seems fitting)
James mentions to the group, the little altercation at the divorce ‘party’ or should divorce be in the quotes since they’re not even divorced. As she keeps reminding Raquel. Raquel should have been like, “then why are we on a divorce party trip dummy?”
Guess Lala felt the need to brag and fill him in (what a loser) to give her version before Raquel got to him.
“I had to give it to your ex.”
I’m sure she left out the part where Raquel gave it right back.
Still boring, back at the ranch, Lala and Katie look idiotic in matching tinsel skirts as they go out to try to pick up more losers.
I guess Old/New Kristine doesn’t drink either. She orders a club soda with cucumber in a hillbilly bar for chrissakes. I guess she wants some rotten cucumber slices, cut by some dude that just took a piss and didn’t wash his hands, floating around her beverage. Yum.
I almost think this is what’s helping making this trip suck so much, I hate to say it. The bartender looks pissed when they both order ‘soda water.’ Good thing we have tequila Katie, who honestly is in too much of a funk to even be a fun drunk.
Also I thought ‘divorce parties’ were supposed to happen when the divorce is final? I hate to defend her, but think part of the problem is that it’s still raw, and too soon to celebrate. Even though I think their whole marriage was a joke anyway.
Lala begs two dudes to come sit with them. It would be a cold day in hell before I would beg dudes to sit with me and give me attention in a bar. I’ve actually never had to do that. Guess I’ve never been this desperate. Lala has totally lost her mojo. Rejected by Oliver, and begging guys to talk to her. Classic. I’m not hating it.
These guys are coming off to me a little sketchy actually.
Charli and Raquel arrive to crash the boys’ version of the ‘divorce party.’
James is pissed. Or pretending to be.
Did you all catch the pissed off/jealous look in Sandoval’s eyes when she immediately cozies up to Schwartz? Well I did.
