The Real Housewives of Dubai- 9/3/24- Finale – Part 1 – Beach Bitchin’!!

I can’t believe it’s already the finale!

They’re still at their stay-cation excursion. The Wives break up in three separate groups for breakfasting consisting of the four couples, and Sara, Saba and Brooks.

Stanbury, Taleen and their men convene. In case you were totally wondering and I’m sure you were, Stanbury and Sergio had sex for 1.50 seconds and Taleen wanted it but Raffi withheld the goods. So glad we got that straightened out.

Taleen is pissed that Stanbury didn’t stick up for her when she was arguing with Lesa as to why on EARTH her event held to promote her brand at a venue that she paid for, to hold the event, had her logo posted throughout the salon.

It’s pretty stranggggge!! Can’t figure it out!! It’s a mystery!! It’s like an episode of ‘The Traitors!’

Lesa does like to deem herself ‘the hardest working Housewife with the most successful business.’ If we’re comparing her to Sara, Brooks, Taleen and Ayan, then I might have to agree, not based on any favoritism whatsoever, but what I’ve seen on the show.

But just like maybe stop saying it for a minute. Viewers would respect you more if you stopped pointing it out, because we do see it. Also, and I’m one to talk I really need to practice what I preach, but she shouldn’t be getting all worked up over this nonsense. She’s literally doing precisely what they want her to do.

She should just be like ‘Oh snap (which I think should make a comeback) whatever, you all sound so jealous! And stupid! You’re not ruining my trip!’

Done.

She doesn’t need to demand everyone be jealous. She’s sounding like Ayan.

The Ayan/Lesa friendship is a little off as we are starting to see. Case in point – Lesa bragging how Rich told Lesa, then she proceeds to repeat it, “that girl RIIIIIIDES for you.” It does kind of make her seem subservient to Lesa.

Lesa thanks her but it does kind of seem like Lesa is being a little smug and taking her for granted.

******

It’s an official beach day. These ladies have such a tough life don’t they? Keep in mind they’re paid to go on vacation. I don’t even blame Taleen for ‘begging!’

We split up again but this time it’s girls on one side and boys on the other. I would normally say there’s nothing wrong with that, if these were normal fucking women. I’d much rather be hanging with the dudes.

Weirdly I just realized, we’re not seeing Sara hanging on Sergio anymore.

All right ladies! Let’s have fun today.” Says Taleen.

Actually I mean let’s argue with Lesa today??

Is that like a joke?

Yes, it is like a joke, because it was immediately followed up with “Lesa I think we should talk about what happened.”

She couldn’t even have given it like a minute? These poor guys that are tagging along, not even sure why, just wanna chill and have some relaxing bro time.

At that, Stanbury, the smartest one in the group, gets up and joins said bro’s!

Stanbury, unlike Taleen, is not desperate to keep here spot. She knows she ain’t goin’ nowhere!

She can just excuse herself and admit to giving zero fucks. Kinda love that for her.

Taleen apologizes for her dumb ass comments, then also adds, BUT (which is a word that immediately negates the apology in my opinion) she didn’t appreciate Lesa coming after her at the dinner that they were ‘hosting.’

‘That they were hosting.’ What does that even mean exactly in Housewife world?

Nothing. Bravo is the one ‘hosting’ and paying for these trips and meals.

Lesa is already annoyed at simply the sound of her voice.

She should be like, I think I’m joining the boys too! Byeeeeee!!!

But no, she immediately reacts, and the white claws come out. I guess if she didn’t the show would be over in five minutes.

Taleen wants to know if her reaction to that idiotic comment is an apology. I’m team Lesa here. Taleen is clearly just trying to impress Andy with her argumentative skills and ability to sound like a dumb ass so she fits in.

So of course we rehash why stupid ‘Glass Houses’ wasn’t used as the venue, and it’s a good point Ayan makes, that it would have been stealing her thunder, especially since it’s a new business (where the funding came from by laying on her back, but that’s not important right now.)

Suddenly Sara’s kid has a fever, and everyone else also gets up and leaves with Taleen and Brooks sitting there looking like the ding dongs that they are.

You know I really really wanted to like Taleen but she’s making it hard. She needs to climb out of Brooks’ asshole.

We cleared the entire beach bitch!!!

Taleen and Brooks convince Ayan that she’s acts differently when she’s around Lesa, and perhaps Lesa is holding her back.

Ayan seems to be taking this in. To be honest, in all fairness, it’s not unlike Taleen and Brooks, and how they defend each other since they’ve made up.

Summer months are approaching and apparently they all leave Dubai because who can stand the summer weather? Not these bougie bitches.

They name all of these cities and vaca spots where they’ll be summering. Paris, NYC, Maldives…

Lesa and Rich are trying to ‘buy a farm’ in England. Okay so that’s interesting.

Lesa’s story line this season was basically how exhausted and pulled in a million different directions she feels, but they want to buy a fucking whole-ass farm in another country.

What exactly are they trying to prove?

Oh and Stanbury’s parents happen to have a house in the SAME area where they want to buy, that they’re selling, that just does not measure up to what Lesa is looking for. I smell an entire fabricated scenario.

Pampered pretentious Rich and Lesa getting their fucking hands dirty on a fucking ‘farm?’ Give me a fucking break. Even if they have ‘help’ you still own a 100 acre farm and would have to do something, wouldn’t you??

Maybe he’s trying to make her Ballerina Farms 2.0??

120 degrees on a GOOD day during the summers in Dubai. I guess the poors gotta stay and deal with their tires melting, while the rest jet set off to wherever the wind takes them.

In a strange turn of events, Stanbury and Ayan decide they’re going to collab on a ‘good-bye Dubai’ party. There seems to be an across-the-board theme of trying to get under Lesa’s skin.

******

Sara is still dicking around with this Akin dude. She FaceTimes him and you can immediately tell there’s tension even as they just make small talk.

She tells him she wants to focus on her son, hoping he begs her to stay. He just hangs up on her with this disgusting smug look on her face that you would thinks she recognizes since she’s been married to it. Twice.

To be honest Maki is a little bit traumatized.” Oh ya think?? Telling him he was about to be kidnapped and taken for ransom traumatized him?

So a little post-filming update on her and Saba’s friendship and business partnership. Neither are any longer the case. I guess from how I’m understanding it, Saba got married early this year, 2024. Sara then had what sounds to me, like a jealousy meltdown and started sending nasty messages and yes, voice notes, to the point where Saba had to end their friendship AND business relationship.

Sara is not stable. She’s really not and it’s not even up for debate. This obsession, alone, with this dude in Germany that she met twice and is claiming she’s in love with, who treats her like he doesn’t care if she lives or dies, is evidence of that.

She had to cancel speaking engagements?? So this broad whose own life is a mess, is giving ‘speaking engagements?’

She shuffles Maki out of the room to check with the cook on the status of their dinner, (again tough life) and calls this fucking bonehead low-key pleading with him to like her is basically what it sounds like. It’s sick. You don’t grovel to no dude, ever.

Do I LOOK like I give a fuck about you OR your kid??

That smug fucking face as he abruptly ends the call – I just wanna smack it! I wanna elbow him in the eye ball!! What a slimy POS. He reminds me of a much younger much cuter version of my ex BF. Who by the way, quick update, was just begging me to talk to him, then was spotted out to dinner with the ugly sea urchin trollop he had been with, that he just again promised he ended things with! Again! For reals this time! What a fucking clown!!

******

Stanbury and Yasmine have a mommy/daughter horseback riding day. They get to baby talk right away and as we know Princess Jasmine is completely against the idea of her mom having a child.

Yasmine sounds very mature by telling her that’s unfair to the kid to bring him into the world just to make Sergio happy.

Caroline is now considering a surrogate. We learn at the end of the episode that they recently legalized it in Dubai.

But she does realize, she’s still having a child at 50 years of age? Yes, it erases the risk of her being pregnant and carrying the baby at that ripe old age, but it’s still a newborn baby, at 50 years old.

She’ll be almost 70 when he graduates from high school.

Caroline tells Yasmine they should horseback ride more often and Yasmine tells her she’ll believe it when she sees it.

You know for someone who bitches that her parents didn’t spend time with her when she was a kid, she doesn’t really seem to spend a colossal amount of time with her kids either. Just. Saying.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of Finale!

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