I’ll start off by saying that I was a little disappointed to see Kyle and Amanda struggling. They’ve been doing so good! True, they were ready to kill each other the summer that they were getting married, which was really hard to watch. I believe I gave them like a year and a half tops, and I think it’s been over two years since they got married now. Kyle seemed to have shaped up and was being less of a dick, so you know, that always helps.
It does wonders for a relationship when your husband or boyfriend is not a fucking dick. Who knew? Not me!! How would I know what that’s like?
We have two new dudes who will probably end up in the same Land of Unwanted Toys that those other two or three did. Whose names I don’t remember. Case in point.
I don’t know why they’re having such a hard time finding fun interesting dudes that stick.
Ciara is back. Part of me feels like her time has expired. She’s a nice girl and gorgeous. Just a little boring. Maybe Carmen Brown will make another appearance, several times preferably.
It probably helps that she’s besties with Paige and Amanda. They got rid of Mya, which is cool. She was kind of odd. Kind of a mean girl to that Sam chick, race baited on her first summer because Andrea accidentally called her by his ex-girlfriend’s name. She turned that into a race thing. I was just happy Ciara wasn’t having it, but then again she’s a white person trapped in a black person’s body.
Kyle and Amanda pick up the new guy West, up who looks homeless standing on the sidewalk in NYC with his suitcase. Him and his pornstache.
Not Lindsay and Carl, and the “Babe??? Yeah. Babe.“
So here we have another reality TV sitch where we already know the outcome since we have airing, like a year after filming.
Is it going to be funny, sad or ho hum to watch Carl and Lindsay arguing all summer??
So they’re going to the fucking White House for some reason, that is unclear to me, and will not be joining the crew until the following weekend.
Kind of tough watching her smiling ear to ear, to ear, to the other ear, excitedly chattering about wedding planning.
But you have to take into account, how it’s Lindsay, and she did this to herself.
She’s a very difficult partner, to say the least. Carl rushed into this not realizing what he was getting into. Even though he should have.
She’s sort of bitching, but not really, about Carl not being involved in wedding planning, but I don’t really thinks she cares. The girl is elated to be HAVING a wedding. She’s wanted to badly to get married since this series started forever ago.
You would think she would have tried really hard to not be so fucking cunty.
But these types of people just can’t help themselves.
So I guess the bedrooms are back to normal now and there’s not that weird ‘zoing’ thing from last year where they couldn’t use all of the bedrooms?
Not sure I was following what was going on there. Maybe it’s a New York thing.
I feel like Kyle and Amanda are constantly thinking they’re pregnant. She says the latest negative test is a ‘sign’ they’re still not ready. This feels like a repeat from last season.
There’s a second new dude, Jesse, that also had a prior commitment, and will be showing up tomorrow. So two new dudes for Ciara and Danielle to fight over.
Ciara has been encouraged to be in her ‘slut’ era. I kind of feel like she does need that. It’s normal to have a slutty phase when you’re a girl. But you know, having it your whole entire adult life, kind of weird, kind of skanky, and kind of not cute.
Especially when you’re fucking around outside your marriage.
West has some sort of short guy complex it seems.
Some chick told him he ‘reads tall.’ Okay this is weird. He apparently is insanely jealous of tall dudes. It’s very weird. Not weird for short guys to wish they were tall, but weird for them to vocalize it, I guess?
I feel like he should just own his sort of shortness. Who cares. Get a short girlfriend.
Ciara, who loves ranchers and cowboy things is enamored with West’s dad being a rancher.
Paige is getting the master with the weird fish bed.
Ciara suddenly takes an interest in helping West make dinner.
She may or may not be trying to get to his dad, but let’s just pretend she suddenly wants to learn how to make quesadillas. She twirls her hair and sort of flips the – plantains? Are they plantains? She’s suddenly morphing into Susie Homemaker.
The Lindsay and Danielle dynamic should be interesting. They’ve never reconciled fully, and are not back to being besties Remember when Carl proposed to Lindsay, and had the actual NERVE, THE LITERAL NERVE, to not involve Danielle.
I can’t even fathom the ear-to-ear Grinch grin on Danielle’s face when the news broke in September that Carl dumped her. Of course we know Robert also dumped Danielle shortly before.
I think Robert just wanted the exposure honestly. They met via him reaching out to her on social media, knowing of course full well who she was, and he would get immediate fame if he dated her since he was a struggling chef. Last year he seemed not into at her.
“This summer I just want to have some fun.” Sounds like famous last words.
Sounds like she’s going to be drinking heavily and acting like a fucking fool. But, we’ll see. Maybe I’m wrong. I’m probably not wrong.
What does that even mean exactly? The summer Lindsay said that, she was throwing herself at random guys and bringing them back to the house, and then screaming at them.
When they talked about going to a ‘Carnival’ I thought it was a bar or nightclub called ‘Carnival.’ I didn’t imagine they were literally going to a Carny.
Kyle starts to dive in about his and Amanda’s issues. This is probably not a shocker to anyone. They continue to be at odds, and the main issue is that she’s lazy, and likes to lie on the couch all day, and he likes to be on the go, and work on his business.
Did he really think that was going to change? If anything, now that she’s married to him she has probably gotten more complacent about her role with the company.
Ciara admits in her yap “West is impressing me, I’m not going to lie.” Ciara, we know. He’s whiter than white, you’ve known him for five seconds, and he’s a dude. All of her criteria has been met.
I didn’t get her ‘simple math’ joke or comment. Was it a joke? I don’t know you can’t tell, she’s so dry all of the time. We need Carmen Brown in a bad way.
I don’ t know what the hell Danielle is wearing. I don’t hate the sweater, but it’s not what I would wear to a Carnival. She looks like she’s going to the office actually.
Kyle wins a big Jamaican banana. Probably several beers in, he tries to have a serious convo with Amanda about spending more time together,
He’s annoyed he was on a trip for “four, five, six days” and when he returned she didn’t seem excited to see him. She basically admits, yeah I was watching TV and chilling, while you were gone, I was good.
She doesn’t say that, but that was the translation. I can only imagine that she does not leave that couch, except to piss and feed herself, if Kyle isn’t there to make her do shit. I’m not even exaggerating.
I get what he’s saying to her. I think it’s very impressive how he’s somehow managing to communicate like an adult to her face, not via 400 psychotic text messages, and threatening to go bang some trampy ho, who pays more attention to him.
I think Amanda does love him, she’s just a little more laid back than he is, which is fine.
Doesn’t make her a terrible partner, or wife in my opinion. She could work on being a little more energetic, but that would be my only critique of her, not that anyone asked. I like that Kyle is being a lot more respectful to her than he used to be. I think he’s kind of afraid of her dad.
I actually think Kyle and West are the same person – or twins, as they do an Irish jig in the kitchen, for whatever reason. Not judging.
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West must really like to cook. He’s up and at it in the kitchen already making breakfast.
So Kyle wants to spend time with Amanda, but that annoys her because previously she wanted to spend time with him, but he was too busy working.
I feel like this is going to be the same recycled argument for two months. Four months of viewing time. Are we ready for this?
The bacon looks burnt. How did they win that many stuffed animals? No one ever wins anything at carnivals.
I do not care about Carl and Lindsay being in DC. Period.
Amanda now ridicules Kyle for their convo the previous evening to the girls, in front of him. I was trying to be on her side, but now she’s being kind of cunty about it. She should be happy he’s not having a fucking little hissy pissy suzie manic meltdown.
He seems miffed. He’s taking it pretty well.
Everyone seems uncomfortable.
Gabby tries to redeem herself from last year’s lackluster party when that’s supposed to be her schtick.
I kind of wish they would’ve brought Sam back and not Gabby.
Paige and Ciara are helping out with party set-up. Was it like two seasons/summers ago that they got called out by a viewer at the reunion for always being so fucking lazy?
I don’t mean to sound like I’m five, but it’s really not fair to the others that they lie in bed constantly, and never contributed to the household. Never doing any cooking, cleaning up, party clean-up or set-up. It’s not a good look. I know they think it’s cute, but it’s really not. They can’t even clean up their fucking bedroom.
Gabby breaks it to Lindsay and Carl via FaceTime that no one misses them and “the vibes are really good.”
If you think about it, it is going to be constant chaos when they arrive. We already know they’re going to be frequently fighting, (and we already have Kyle and Amanda not getting along) none of the girls hit it off with Lindsay, and Danielle is going to be having mini-meltdowns just being in her presence.
She already looks insanely jealous and quietly enraged that Gabby is on the phone with her. She looks like she wants to stab Gabby, actually.
Was Gabby trying to be pissy by informing Lindsay that the vibes are so great without them there? Or does she not realize how that was going to come off?
I’m not actually sure of the Lindsay/Gabby dynamic. If there was something memorable last season with them, I don’t remember.
Danielle seems to be optimistic that they could be good friends again. Yeah, I doubt that’s going to happen.
Gabby and Lindsay say they love each other when they hang up. Guess Lindsay realized she needed an ally, and Gabby is it.
West thinks he’s in there with Ciara, as she’s inside making fun of him for being short. New guy Jesse is like 7 feet tall. Excuse me, I mean Jesse SOLOMON. It does kind of flow off of the tongue.
He’s kind of goofy looking, but in a cute way. I can see all three single girls being into him.
They’re gonna all be wanting to be Jesse’s Girl. Poor little West is immediately intimidated.
Paige is even kind of eyeing him up. I still think she should have gone with Andrea over Craig. What cute little Italian babies they would have.
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Party is starting and the random’s that no one knows, arrive. They always look so out of place. Remember when some chick kicked Andrea in the face when he was just goofing around. He literally is the most sweetest and respectful guy I’ve ever seen on reality TV.
Jesse Solomon is an opera singer too. So he’s a tall, muscular cute, finance guy, singer. Got it.
Sorry West. Poor little dude. You’re goin’ down!
Here’s something I hate. Kyle ‘confides’ in Paige about his struggles with Amanda, knowing full well that she’s going to convey the discussion to her.
It’s not as bad and childish as sending psycho texts, but at the same time, talk to her yourself. She’s your wife dude, we don’t need to communicate via her best friend.
Plus that puts Paige in an awkward position. She shares in her yap that he’s even been calling her to vent about Amanda. No, that’s probably not good. It’s a conflict of interest, and inappropriate.
She of course conveys the highlights to Amanda, and she immediately shuts it down and brings up his past cheating.
Season Previews – looks like Jesse goes for Paige, of all people, which isn’t going over well, and I don’t think Craig could take him, let’s just be real.
I don’t think Craig could take Paige.
