So we get situated on the balcony for the second official break-up.
Ciara arrives right at this moment, coincidentally.
She gets briefed on the balcony break-up. Is it a balcony if it’s on the first floor?
Maybe they are on the second floor. But isn’t Kyle and Amanda’s room on the first floor? This is confusing me and bugging me.
Ciara is really upset to hear this news. NOT.
Lexi delivers her spiel to him about what a terrible all-around boyfriend he has been, and a sketchy liar.
I am trying to figure out if he’s really disappointed or not. Because he does KIND OF look like it. But he’s not. He wants to move onto the next victim – Ciara.
He tells her he’s been ‘abiding by her rules.’
I don’t think she has ‘rules’ per se but whatever. Maybe she does. She is a little clingy but he’s a little douchey, so it’s even.
The girls tell Ciara in the kitchen how Lexi conveyed to them Jesse was giving her ‘the ick.’
Again, Ciara looks elated. Girlfriend isn’t even interested in trying to hide it.
The girls fill in Kyle on Lexi getting ‘the ick.’ He does not know what it means. I kind of feel like it’s self-explanatory.
Jesse is HILARIOUS. His fucking go-to is always to say “I didn’t say that” or “that didn’t happen.” That’s definitely a compulsive liar.
Even on WWHL he played that fucking game with Andy and the audience.
When the question got asked about his Lexi flirting with West tantrum, and how that was hypocritical, he says “it never happened.”
What never happened? The flirtation never happened so you’re back-pedaling? No, of course not. I forget how he explained it but his point was that he wasn’t upset about it, or being a dick to her.
Asshole you were so! And it did so fucking happen!! A million people watched it. You definitely bitched at Lexi for being flirty with West after you were were just ALL OVER Ciara.
He’s always “I don’t appreciate…” when he’s called names that he definitely deserves.
We don’t give a fuck if you ‘appreciate it’ or not. Stop fucking lying and manipulating. Fucking weirdo.
Afterwards, Jesse asks his lover West if they can go to their room to talk.
Why don’t these two just get a room already? Oh, they already have one.
Kyle conveying ‘the ick’ issue to the guys is hilarious.
Lexi gives her plea to the girls that Jesse was conveying misconceptions about her.
Thank goodness Paige arrives. I’m totally kidding of course. I honestly didn’t even miss her and her slowwwwwwww Valleyyyyy Girlllll talk-ingggggggggggg.
I didn’t think we were even still doing that anymore.
The sandwiches on top of sandwiches arrive. I’m sorry but I can’t resist the ‘how may sandwiches have you made for ME?’ joke. It’s like right there.
Paige heads up to West’s and Jesse’s room to get the skinny.
She makes some ‘sarcastic’ crack about Craig which absolutely proves that relationship was joke to her. Yeah, it’s real hilarious to waste people’s time and pretend that you love them for money and fame. Paige YOU SO FUNNY!!
Or should I say fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnyy!!!!!!!!!
Everyone quickly ends up in this sweatbox room. Ciara STILL looks pretty fucking elated, just saying.
She’s cracking me up. In a laughing AT her type of way. I’m actually entertained by Ciara which has never happened.
I love how she plays dumb when Jesse shares that she was pissed about his ‘nice time’ with Ciara.
Yeah dude, a girl will generally get pissed off when you’re dating someone else, and dangling it in front of her face. Crazy, I know.
Ciara acts shocked. “What are you talking about?”
Was she not like, there? You were on a date with someone else’s dude. Like stop playing fucking dumb.
He goes on his ‘relationship with Ciara’ tangent again. And how perfectly normal that is.
“Lexi doesn’t feel that close with Ciara.”
Why does she have to feel close with Ciara?
And could it be because she feels like those two have this thing for each other? So she therefore doesn’t want to be besties with the girl that’s after her guy?
Of course their flirtation has no substance to it, but it’s still enough to piss a bitch off.
Jesse eggs Ciara on to bring it up at dinner.
He’s totally pitting these girls against each other, so he feels like the big ole stud in the middle getting fought over.
Kyle comforts Lexi and lets her know that Jesse made it seem like the break-up was over Ciara.
I’m sure he was set up to do that by production, so Lexi and Ciara would argue at dinner.
Lindsay’s freedom ‘sandwich’ dinner is being served.
How many sandwiches have been made?
Sorry I can’t stop myself.
Why is no one saying “how many sandwiches have you made for ME?”
Not even ‘super funny and super sarcasssssssssstiiiiic’ Paaaaaaaaaige.
There were two different servings of sandwiches delivered in the two hours since they arrived? From Lindsay AND Carl. How many fucking sandwiches do we need??
Lindsay announces how it’s the anniversary of her and Carl’s break-up.
She could NOT WAIT to do that. She’s probably mad the Lexi/Jesse drama is overshadowing her sandwich freedom dinner.
Carl gives his two cents and ridicules the several paragraphs of reassurance of how happy she is right now.
I love how Lindsay refers to her pregnancy as an ‘achievement.’ What I would have to say to that would be kind of crude.
God I can’t wait until next year when she’s feeling bitter and in her feelings after she guzzles a bottle or two of Rose’.
Lexi addresses Jesse, and calls him a liar.
So he tells her Sunday that he can barely stand Ciara, then goes on an outing with her on Monday.
So to say that he can work on ‘communication skills’ is putting it quite mildly and way too nicely. Like how about he’s a fucking lying manipulative piece of shit? That’s more accurate.
Lexi says how she doesn’t trust Ciara based on things Jesse has told her. I believe this to be true because as I said he’s intentionally pitting these girls against each other so he can be a big bad infamous Bravoleb ‘stud’ like he wants to be.
What an aspiration.
