Ciara – Nurse/Model, mostly Model/Reality Star is throwing a party for her one year anniversary being a New Yorker. That’s weird. I wish she’d bring back Carma Brown. She had pizzazz and personality. Ciara – not so much. Even in her yaps, can’t she just try to kick it up a few notches??
Poor Chris had his heart broken already by the Cassidy chick. One date and she ghosted him. I think he’s cute – not sure what he’s doing wrong. The girls all think he has no game. Maybe it’s just because he’s not an asshole. So, Chris, step up your asshole game, pretty sure you’ll land a chick. Chicks dig that.
Danielle and Lindsay are still on the outs, and frankly I hope they remain on the outs. So sick of listening to Danielle cry and whine about “being FINE with Lindsay and Carl” when we all know damned well she’s not fine at all. Because she’s sick with jealousy, between having feelings for Carl possibly, Lindsay is ignoring her now, her boyfriend is never around, and I’m sure they’re nowhere near marriage at this point. And since you asked, I also had this other thought.
Okay so we all know Lindsay is definitely on the narcissistic spectrum. She is. I feel like I overuse that word but I’m sorry – there are a lot of narcissists on Bravo! Which kind of makes sense, because it often takes a big personality, as they’re often called, and a certain amount of self love to even want to be on reality TV.
I digress – back to my theory. Lindsay is not a sincere person, therefore, not a sincere friend. Danielle fed her ego and was sort of submissive towards her, and Lindsay loved that. She doesn’t need Danielle to tell her that she’s great anymore, since she now has Carl for that. Danielle misses their friendship, and Lindsay does not, because it wasn’t a real friendship to her. There. That was not hard.
Anyway, Carl tells the guys that he has picked up the ring, so we know that’s coming. Danielle is going to lose her shit.
Ciara makes a weird speech.
So we’re back in The Hamptons. Carl apparently had some sort of panic attack at a concert due to anxiety from he planning on proposing to Lindsay. Who WOULDN’T have anxiety when marrying Lindsay? Poor guy. He has no idea what he is in for. I’m sure he’s been getting tastes here and there. One played out on the show when she was drunk and pissed about his convo with Danielle. Her argument didn’t even make any sense, but that’s Lindsay.
Having said that, I am on her side with the Danielle shit. No, Danielle should not have said some of the strange things she has been saying in reference to their relationship. There is definitely something odd going on in Danielle’s head with that. Her issue with their relationship seems more to do with herself, than concern they’re moving too fast. But I just covered all of that.
I kind of think Craig and Paige are cute together. They’re growing on me. She is cuter with Andrea, but whatever. I would have chosen Andrea over Craig. Paige shares in her yap that she doesn’t think
Craig would be into the NYC vibe, and he’d be scared. Well that’s so not sexy. She’s with a dude that she thinks is scared of a big city. I actually think he should get the hell out of Charleston. It’s just not good for him there. Trust fund babies, Shep and Whitney are not his friends. And remember he is not a Charleston native. He’s from Delaware, which I know is also small town America most likely, but my point is, he shouldn’t be that attached to Charleston. It would also be helpful for him to get away from Naomie. I think she should go back to France actually. That way she can freely walk around in her bra everywhere.
Speaking of which, wonder what’s going on with Southern Charm – they should have been filming over the fall/winter. It started airing in June of last year, which is soon. Kathryn was fired. That girl is seriously a hot mess. She needs to be a hot mess off of reality TV.
Wonder if it’s going to be the same pick on Craig BS, and Naomie in bra. I was kind of grossed out by her last season. Really grossed out actually. If you were watching you should understand why. What she did to Whitney was sort of sick.
Andrea arrives with his typical Andrea energy that as Paige says, we all love. There is something about his energy. Most likely it’s that he’s not an American dork, and who doesn’t find that intriguing?
Not sure why he wasn’t offered the full time slot back this season, since we are kind of short on dudes in the house. And having him pay these little visits is kind of interesting. It’s like he’s a ‘friend’ on Housewives. Wonder if it has anything to do with the girlfriend? Maybe Bravo didn’t want her for whatever reason?
Apparently Chris got some action earlier in the week which Mya announces, and also has the ‘intel’ on the rating, which turns out to be an ‘8.’ So I consulted with my boyfriend, yes we’re back together, and my suspicion was confirmed. A girl rating a first time lay with an ‘8’ isn’t necessarily a compliment. Like why not a ‘10’ is what I would think? He seems happy with that, and I guess that is what matters.
Chris and Danielle are hosting and preparing a Latin influenced Empanada dinner for the group.
Danielle gives a speech (what’s with all the speeches?) about being Latino and making it a whole big thing, when honestly no one really is concerned in the house, about race or ethnicity. They care about who’s got the booze, and who is banging who. All of this kind of cracks me up, a little, when the women of color get on this kick in front of Andrea. While Andrea is considered white, (he’s Italian) he’s actually an immigrant from another country. He had to come to another whole entire continent, and learn the language and the customs etc, of Americans in order to fit in. But have you heard him crying about it one fucking time? At all?? He cried about his girlfriend breaking up with him last season, but he didn’t cry that he’s from Italy trying to fit in with all of these shallow fucking stupid ass Americans, that seem to be obsessed with race and skin color for some reason.
The camera always zooms in on him when this shit starts, and I just know it’s what he’s thinking. Like, shut the fuck up baby! I guess it’s more of a girl thing to do this shit. Chris is Latino and I haven’t heard him mention it, and if he did, he didn’t fucking cry about it. And he’s kind of out of his element in this house too. He served in the Marines right out of high school instead of going to college and he’s amongst a bunch of college graduates, with their executive positions etc, and some of them do act a little hoity toity. My point is everyone has something that makes them different.
So to sit here and for Danielle to make a whole big fucking thing about being Puerto Rican (part of America) is just for a pay-attention-to me-moment. When there’s literally a European sitting at the table who had to learn a different language, and his whole entire family is a nine hour flight away. Like shut up !!
And I’’m addressing this again too. How it was okay for Mya to tell Sam she needed to shut up, she talks too much, and that she’s annoying, and it’s okay because she’s white. Can you even fathom if someone would have pulled Mya into a room last season and criticized her? She would have made it this whole big race thing. But it was okay to do it to Sam?? I mean Mya made a big ass to-do because Andrea accidentally called her ‘Lexi’ so…
I’m kind of over this rhetoric on Bravo, unless someone is actually racist against a person of color. No one on Summer House is.
I really think this is what Sam was thinking when Mya chimed in about how she feels like she’s not for everyone, and did this pity me act.
Now, Garcelle on Beverly Hills, that is a different story. I do feel like she was a victim of racism, with some of the ladies’ comments, and they seem to speak to her a different way. So I am not afraid to address it and point it out if it is relevant. I got dragged for commenting on that on Beverly Hills last season, so I will probably get dragged for NOT seeing racism, or any need for this conversation right now on Summer House. And that’s all I have to say about THAT !! (well, until next time.)
Well that’s over, now we enjoy some salsa dancing. So yes, this is more like it! Shut up Danielle. Honestly I can’t even take her seriously with all of this weirdness she is creating over Lindsay and Carl being together.
She’s very immature, and her obsessive-like dynamic with Lindsay was really not very healthy anyway.
Why is Bravo obsessed with farting suddenly? They keep showing the dudes on Summer House and Below Deck farting in their rooms? Are we ten??
Mya talks about Oliver and how she’s not rushing into things. Smart girl because they have broken up, and on WWHL she said “he’s not the guy that I thought he was.” I think that’s code for he was cheating on her.
Carl and Lindsay arrive, and it’s all about them for a few. Danielle does not waste any time goin’ in for the big hug with Carl. He gives the skinny on his night at the hospital, and gives Lindsay accolades for staying with him all night. And they apparently had the photo opp to prove it!! So since this does NOT look like a selfie, since they’re both ‘sleeping’ Lindsay, I guess, asked the nurse to snap it while they were fake sleeping. I cannot imagine the eye rolls of that poor nurse. She (or he) probably had to go home from the headache she ensued rolling her eyes so far back in her head.
And of course she stayed with him all night – she knew he was proposing – duh.
I wonder if they smelled like hospital? (let me know if you get that – drop me a comment!)
Lexi, Andrea’s girl arrives. I don’t know – I’m just not feeling her. I would have much rather seen her with cute petite Italian Paige, not this tall lanky fake chick. But then again, I identify with my petite Italian girls, so I guess that is what’s behind my preference. I think Craig should hook up with this chick, and Paige and Andrea should get together! Andrea is tall for an Italian dude. The Joe’s on Jersey are probably so jealous.
Okay so this is our first hint that Lindsay knew of the impeding marriage proposal. I guess she thinks we’re all dumb. They start to discuss this beach bonfire, and Lindsay asks about the dress code. Who 4in the HELLLLLLL asks about a dress code for a fucking beach bonfire??? I guess she’s attempting to lay the ground work for why she’s in a sequined dress for a beach bonfire. Carl seems annoyed she asked this. Like okay Captain Obvious that you know what’s happening.
Andrea and Lexi get quizzed on the quality of their sex life, and Lexi answers in a really weird borderline robotic way “our sex life is pretty great.” (the conversations not so much)
Okay, so now I may see why Andrea was off the show. Perhaps because they interviewed her, and Andrea tried to be the hero, and said he’s not returning without her. We already have snooze fest Ciara, and we didn’t need another one.
Chris does a great job of displaying his awkwardness and bad comedic timing, and asks if it’s weird for Paige to be at the table with his newish girlfriend. But honestly is it any weirder than asking a couple about their sex life? Not really.
Lexi gets another chance at a speaking part, and talks about how she and Andrea found their way back to each other. It was sweet, but I still think she has no personality.
Okay so clue #2 that Lindsay knew about the proposal, she suddenly while lounging at the pool asks a producer or camera person what time it is, and then she’s like very emphatic – “I have to get READY (emphasis on ready) to go get firewood.” I’ve never heard anyone so excited to retrieve firewood.
Yes it’s very important to be dressed to the nines to go get firewood. And the real Lindsay who wasn’t getting a fucking rock on her finger, would have said “I’m not going to get fucking firewood, are you serious!! Take Kyle! Don’t you know who I am?”
Then their banter back and forth as they depart, was just awkward. I wish they could’ve worked it out that she was actually surprised. But, whatever. As the Karens say on the chat groups every time I make a post, “you know it’s scripted.” I’m always like, okay Buzzkill Karen. Like what else do you say to those weirdos?? ‘What was it like to sit at the lunch table by yourself in high school, then make your way to your ‘special’ classes?’ I’m running out of ways to tell them how annoying and pathetic they sound. Get off the chat groups if all you’re gonna do is comment ‘it’s scripted.’
Cute little bro hug as Carl leaves to make the worst decision of his life. Is that harsh?? Oh well, this shit ain’t gonna last. We all know that. But I did think Amanda and Kyle would be in divorce court by now, so maybe don’t listen to me. They haven’t even gotten in one single argument. Maybe Amanda was smart to pass on the prenup. It seems to have whipped his ass into shape. Kyle is kind of hugging him like he’s going off to battle. In a way I guess he kind of is.
So they arrive to the beach destination to ‘get firewood.’ Lindsay really is trying really hard to act surprised. I guess we gotta give her an ‘A’ for effort.
The ring is spectacular, as we already knew, and she says yes, as we already knew. Lindsay just wants to get married, doesn’t matter to who. Sorry Carl. Not tryin’ to burst your bubble.
Danielle gets the heads up from Mya that “a ring has been purchased” and Danielle officially begins Stage 1 of her melt down over the fact that they’re getting engaged, and Carl had the nerve to not tell her.
Side note, he did tell her at the pillow screaming convo that he was looking at rings, so that makes her ‘shock’ kind of puzzling. And also Carl would have to be out of his mind to have let her know ahead of time when he was doing it (even though she clearly already knows – but let’s just pretend for a moment) with all of her negativity she’s been spewing. How would he be sure she wouldn’t have blabbed to her, or the other girls and someone could have slipped??
Danielle starts obsessively and almost psychotically drilling Mya as to how she knows this. This is what makes Danielle a little off, and not likable, not because she’s PuertoRican. Because she’s strange, and happens to be PuertoRican. No wonder Robert dumped her. I think he was using her to be on the show anyway.
Mya thinks it’s happening next weekend, so Danielle is prepped for that, and thinks she has a whole nother week to stew.
Meanwhile, the proposal is going down.
And why does Carl ALWAYS wear white pants?
He has little signs done saying ‘7 years’ and ‘best friends.’ Lindsay pretend to question this.
The “Baaaabe” thing with her is a little, a lot. It seem fake.
She says yes without even seeing the ring. Seriously ? Who does that? What kind of craziness is that?
She seems to like it.
