I have to be with Craig on this whole drink endorsement thing, since he is complaining about exactly what I said. Even though I hadn’t seen this scene at that point. I just know everything. He points out that his drink endorsement shouldn’t affect Kyle’s stupid product in the least. And if it does, that’s not good news for Kyle.
There are a shit ton of these stupid seltzers. He’s acting like they were his original fucking idea, and his is the only product.
Paige scoffs, “the Jennerrrrrs???” when Craig uses an example that Kendall and Kylie Jenner each have a separate alcohol brand.
It’s just an example, Paige of how there is plenty of space for competition.
If two sisters can make it work, surely him and Kyle can. Paige, just. Shut up.
He wasn’t comparing him and Kyle to Kendall and Kylie, although the way they’re acting, it’s not really a stretch.
Paige seems irritated every time Craig opens his mouth.
Carl is throwing a Pirate party in honor of his Pittsburgh Pirates.
No Lindsay nor Lexi this weekend.
I’m shocked Paige is exerting some effort into decorating for Amanda’s birthday. There’s a cake, snacks AND balloons. Paige must be exhausted.
And St-Germaine. St-Germain is the shit. Try it. You’re welcome.
So sick of the hour-long Loverboy endorsement. The shit must suck if no one’s offered to buy the business by now. I still think the logo looks like the Barbie logo.
I’m all for guys helping out, and especially carrying shit, but is there any reason why these lazy bitches REFUSE to carry any of their weekend baggage up the stairs??
I wonder if the house is rented throughout the week, that they’re not able to leave anything there?
Carl is announcing his ‘Soft Bar’ non-alch bar and eatery in Brooklyn. They of course flash on the scene of Lindsay telling him it’s a dumb idea last year.
He says Lindsay is welcome to drop by. Well since she and the baby daddy broke up already, maybe she will drop by. Her NOT consuming alcohol now that she’s a mom is probably not a bad idea. I find it hard to believe she didn’t drink for an entire nine months without having withdraw.
Kyle is DYING to bitch at Craig.
Jesse pretends he wants to be a mediator with West and Ciara, when he really wants an excuse to talk to her. And wants to bone her.
Does ANYONE care whether or not West is seeing someone?
And his phone is ‘juicy’ as he puts it, (euw) pretty sure it’s girls trying to date him just to get on the show. My God dude. Stop. And stop being so obsessed with Ciara “making eye contact.” Jesus grow the fuck up chubby little weirdo.
Amanda and Kyle haven’t brought the dogs to the house yet. Remember Danielle make a pissy comment when they brought them ONE time last year.
Danielle is such a dick. I see now that Gabby’s back, production is done with her.
They needed a friend for Lindsay last weekend, that’s why we were stuck with her.
I hope Kyle at least got Amanda a gift this year. She didn’t say anything, so not sure. She didn’t complain either.
I give them accolades again for not getting into one single argument.
With Lexi gone, Jesse starts aggressively flirting with Ciara. Of course he would. This makes him slimy in two entire ways. Slimy because he’s dating or ‘talking to’ however they’re putting it, Lexi, and because of the West issue.
I love how overcompensating Ciara is in her yaps that she has NO INTEREST and NO ATTRACTION to Jesse whatsoever. Zero. Zilch. Honest.
He puts his arm around her. She tells him he smells good.
He then gets to work, and brings up how Kyle is pissed at Craig at the table with his goofy Grover look on his face.
Kyle wants to address it NOW, and for whatever reason, Craig doesn’t. Not sure if he’s just purposely trying to be difficult. Probably. Paige looks annoyed at Craig. Lately she always looks annoyed at Craig.
I’m guessing Craig maybe doesn’t want to do it in front of everyone, and that’s of course would production would prefer.
But this is not his show, it’s just Summer House, so he wants to do the opposite.
Sometimes I do see Paige’s annoyance with him, I hate to say, because I have been mostly Team Craig in the break up. Because I think Paige is an asshole.
Her latest thing she said on some stupid after-show or podcast or whatever with Amanda and Ciara, is that she was having ‘panic attacks’ before going on stage to do ‘Giggly Squad.’ She blames her stress from Craig for said panic attacks. I think she just wanted to break up with him, but needed to wait until Southern Charm and Summer House were done filming, and she was feeling guilty for continuing to lie and lead him on. That’s my opinion anyway.
So here’s what’s going on now in the Paige vs Craig arena. Trying to make an annoying story short, (and less annoying) Craig told Paige to watch this 70’s group Abba documentary how their going on tour ruined their relationships. I guess he was just trying to help. I don’t think he was trying to be douchy or malicious. Keep in mind he’s a guy, he doesn’t know anything. Anyway Paige was extremely offended by that.
This is so dumb, and so not as serious as production is making it seem with their dramatic music, and zooming in on everyone’s expressions.
Kyle runs outside to pout. Or cry.
Carl does his due diligence, sort of, and peeks out the door at him.
Believe me, this dude is so sick of following him outside and pretending to console him while he cries.
And shouldn’t this be Amanda’s job? She doesn’t move a muscle when he stomps out the door.
Crisis averted. He walked around in circles for a few muttering, and when Carl didn’t follow him to baby him, he came back in. Loser.
Why is the floor all ripped up in the downstairs hallway?
I never heard of putting an unwrapped cake in the oven to ‘keep it fresh.’ It figures that would be Ciara’s dumb idea.
OF course the oven gets trned on to heat up leftover pizza at 3 am.
What was with Craig thinking sticking a glass in a cake is this ‘new way to cut a cake.’ That’s for when you’re doing like a gender reveal or something. Someone who supposedly runs this home interior and kitchen gadget empire should know this.
Craig tells Paige in their room that the convo with Kyle about this stupid stupid stupid beverage ad or investment, or whatever the fuck, has to be on HIS terms.
I legit thought Jesse wad joking when he said he was pushing their beds together.
The ‘straight’ dudes on Bravo (VPR, Southern Charm, Summer House) do not act like any straight dudes I’ve been around. Just. Saying.
It MUST be a question in the interviews. ‘Are you closet gay, or at least bisexual?’
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just that they don’t identify this way so it’s confusing to me. Like no one would care. Just be who you are.
Paige is annoyed with Craig for making her anxious and for not knowing that he’s making her anxious. Maybe she should like, tell him? That’s on her list of things she’s bitching about now.
She’s all over social media, after shows podcasts, whining about how awful and controlling he was. Which is strange because when she intitially announced the breakup she referred to him as “the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.”
The general theory out there is that she’s pissed he didn’t defend her that she didn’t cheat on him, so she’s now throwing him completely under the bus.
And I think she was at least TALKING TO Philly guy while they were together, and Philly guy was engaged to someone else.
Which I guess isn’t cheating but isn’t completely innocent either. Now she’s trying to say HE was cheating. Sounds like projection. Cheaters ALWAYS accuse their partners of cheating. They assume because they’re lying cheating pieces of shit, that everyone is. It’s part of their sickness.
******
Carl’s pirate party is getting underway and he’s having a girl he’s talking to in attendance.
So all of this cherry stuff that Amanda is wearing, in case you were wondering, is part of her swimsuit ‘line.’ Which was really just a brand (South Moon Under) that offered to collab with her when she mentioned this last season. Apparently she had several offers to collab.
Must be nice to be a Bravoleb and just say ‘hey I want to design swimsuits’ and your phone immediately rings. Not sure what’s with the cherry thing. I guess it’s cute.
She looks at and tries on some suits they sent to her. She’s not really ‘designing’ them.
Or doing anything, but trying on bathing suits and giving subtle changes, which is probably just to make her feel like she’s involved. Don’t wear yourself out Amanda. Pretending to design swimwear is probably getting her out of pretending to work for Loverboy.
West straddles Jesse at the gym. Not surprising.
******
There’s a literal ship in the back yard.
Jesse crawls on the floatie with Ciara. She is excited but trying hard to act bothered.
She flops her leg over him and he tells her he’s kind of turned on.
“What?? My LEGGGGGG??”
Okay Ciara. Play dumb. It’s not like you have to try very hard. You’re hot, you’re in a bikini, and you flop your leg over him.
That was excruciating to watch.
Jesse claims in his yap he’s “still thinking about Lexi” and misses her. Yeah he seemed like he really missed her as he was dry humping Ciara on the floatie.
Carl is such a goober. Nobody knows what he’s doing.
I don’t know who’s responsible for his eye makeup, but I don’t think it’s very piratey. I agree with the chick he likes. He looks like a lemur.
Paige complains to Amanda about Craig. She’s pissed he said he wanted their relationship to be a priority, as her stupid podcast is making her so ‘busy.’
And she’s so changed, because she has a successful podcast. I don’t get it. She keeps saying in her yaps she’s ‘changed so much.’
Should success totally change you into a different person? If it does, that probably means you’re kind of shallow.
I wish she’d just say she doesn’t like him anymore.
Ask and you shall receive. Her next sentence is that when she starts this podcast ‘tour’ she predicts she’s going to hate him.
Well there you have it.
******
Carl’s love interest is cute. She likes the lemur look. Dancer and fitness instructor. Love that. Lindsay should hate that. Which I love.
Can you imagine if Lindsay was here right now?? She would sabotage all of this.
Paige talks with Craig, and to be clear, he didn’t say she needs to make HIM a priority, he said THEM, and their relationship. That is a lot different.
And to be honest I think he was feeling a little left out. I think he has ‘people’ running Sewing Down South, and isn’t involved in the day to day, whereas Paige’s gig is very hands-on.
Do I think he was probably being kind of a baby? Yes I do.
I don’t think he was being a total asshole, but I think he was whiny.
Paige ‘jokes’ that he may be fired after he makes a crack about a yearly check-in.
