Southern Charm 7/7/22

Shep and Pringle meet at a doggie park/bar combo. So there’s a bar at the doggie park?     Why wouldn’t there be? Craig should get a dog and name him “Shep.” Wonder what ever happened to that cat he and Naomie used to have.

Craig fills Paige in on the phone about what Austen said about him to Naomie. Craig really DID say something to the effect of what Austen repeated at Kathryn’s party. That he banged her and realized he wasn’t really interested in anything further. I mean, it’s on CAMERA Lisa Rinna!

Craig calls Paige and tells her, “I don’t want to be his friend anymore.” This dude is such a girl. Listening to them to talk. you can so tell they are in very early days of their relationship, as she thinks he’s perfect. She encourages him to just talk to him and lay it out on the table.  I guess that ‘s good advice. 

Shep and Pringle discuss Taylor, being late and thinking she was pregnant.   They flashed a scene when Kathryn was first pregnant with Kensie. Kind of forgot  that Shep was in the running for Kathryn’s baby daddy. That chick got around with the SC dudes back then. Pretty sure she was just on a quest to  get pregnant to one of them, any one of them. Maybe not Craig since he didn’t have any money then, nor does he come from family money. Probably why that’s the only one she didn’t bang.  Or did she?   

I just don’t think Shep wants to have kids. At all.  Maybe Taylor should just move on. If at 42, he’s saying “I just don’t know that I have that yearning”  then it’s not like he’s going to wake up one day and have it.  

I spoke too soon about Taylor being so easy going, not pressuring Shep about marriage, and playing it totally cool. Now why is she doing this? She really needs to back off and keep pretending she’s okay with taking it slower. She’s only 27! If she wants to have kids, there’s no ticking clock here. He’s older, but a dude, and his swimmers have another good 30 or more years. (why doesn’t sperm “dry up?”)

She meets Shep’s pregnant cuz at a baby boutique. She talks about having “the scare.” Taylor is telling her that she might have to break up with him if he doesn’t step up to the altar.   We’ll see how this goes for her. Does not seem to me like Shep is in any type of hurry to seal the deal.

Madison and Venita meet up, and Madison talks about this dude she’s engaged to, and I guess doesn’t want to be filmed. That’s why she’s attending all the gatherings stag. She’s only ‘a friend’ I was reading on a chat group. Pretty sure they only keep her to torment and taunt Austen. She met this dude in Scottsdale? Is that where he’s from?  Whatever, who cares. This is Madison.  No one cares.

Venita says “Olivia was ‘screaming’ at her?”   No.  Girl, that’s a lie.  Again, cameras.   The girl didn’t scream, she talked calmly, and said things you didn’t want to hear. Do you have her confused with Kathryn?

Madison is telling Venita to back off of sticking up for Naomie. She can fight her own damned battles, and will figure this all out with Kathryn. What, crazy evil Madison, voice of reason? Just love when you have a fresh new season, and the hot mess suddenly gives good advice and sounds normal for a minute.

But fuck me — not another birthday party?? 

Scene with Olivia, and her mom. Their dog sounds like a possessed lamb. I thought she said last week she was 23? I was confused by that, I thought she seemed older. I don’t know what the heck I was hearing. Olivia is pissed Austen wanted to “watch Netflix and chill.” Don’t meant to sound snobbish like these two bitches,  but  I guess I would kind of agree.  When it’s super early, like you’re only a few dates in, stick your “Netflix and chill!”  Plan dates and shit to do. ‘Netflix and chill’ is for when you’ve been together like 6 months – a year.  Austen needs to step up his game.  She fills her mom in on Naomie’s thing and how she confronted the mean girls about their attitude towards Kathryn. 

Whitney and Patricia: Whitney is ‘Driving Miss Daisy’ around complete with champagne chilling. “You don’t expect me sit up front.”

Whitney needs a girlfriend. I’ll have to ‘slide into his DM’s.’ They bicker over if a famous movie line was Lauren Bacall or Bette Davis.

“This is gonna be a bumpy ride.” Patricia was right. (Aren’t moms always right?)

“This famous line is spoken by Margo Channing, played by Bette Davis, in the movie All About Eve (1950).” (googled it)

Whitney’s dad recently passed away.  Sad.   

I forgot Whitney is vegan.  Patricia wants bacon.  Wonder if Whitney is a bacon eating vegan? Probably not.  

 I told ya it was October – when I saw the pumpkins last week. Also Madison said she and Venita are Libra’s.

Craig calls Austen, they meet up at some random place on a bench. They literally look like two old men. There was a ‘Forest Gump’ meme on Twitter about this scene, comparing it to Forest and old lady at the bus stop.

Okay, finally a swig. (I was playing a ‘drinking game’ and taking a drink every time they talked about him and Naomie banging in Vegas, last week it’s all they talked about) I may have cheated, and took a few sips anyway. Austen was sad that he was getting ‘ignored’ when Craig started seeing Paige. Yes he said that. Okay Susie, I think I said that to my BFF when we were in high school, when she had a boyfriend and I didn’t.

Craig needs answers as to what his motives are, with his running around and gossipng about exactly when he slept with Naomie, trying to maker him look bad.    Austen looks awkward, because this really is what he was doing.  He sort of admits it.  Craig calls it some sort of underlying resentment or hatred, which is accurate.  And how I’m feeling about someone in my life now. 

Austen’s excuse kind of sucks, “because now that you have a girlfriend and you’re ignoring me, I think I’m going to have to sabotage your relationship.”  Not really what he said, but it’s what he was doing.

My sister and her gross ugly chunky daughter  “hate me because I’m beautiful.”  That’s a slight exaggeration. But that is kind of the reason behind snarky comments and jealousy directed towards me.  What a sad way to live your life. Karma is a bitch, I keep telling myself.  

This convo really does sound like they were dating. Whatever, sigh of relief, they made up.  Now they wanna be all manly, and refuse to hug. Honestly after that convo, they should probably be doing much more than hugging.

Kathryn talks to Chleb’s mom on the phone. “He’s not ‘making the effort’” she claims. She IS an impossible to get along with person. His mom does seem really cool, and the food she was making sounded good too! She should be a cast member. Maybe she and Patricia could be friends. Although Patricia is probably a lot older. Actually, forget it. Maybe they wouldn’t get along. 

Kathryn’s weight goes up and down a lot.  During filming, she looks a little heavier than usual and in her yaps she looks thin.  Do you guys recall the last reunion, she was skin and bones, and looked too skinny. No one even said anything. I thought for sure Andy would mention it when he went around to everyone in the beginning. He must have been told not to. I couldn’t believe no one was saying anything. She looked terrible. Maybe she does keto thing to lose, then puts it all back on when she gets out of the mood.

BBQ at Shep’s – guys trying to cook and entertain is always, well, ‘entertaining.’  This is looking bad. I remember going to a cook out gathering thing one time, (long time ago, but it was so traumatic I remember it vividly) that a dude was in charge of, in the way that it was held at his house, since he had a pool.  The dude had people bringing BASICS such as drinks, and condiments, instead of providing them. Normally the host provides staples, and has people bringing side dishes, desserts etc. I was literally at this thing, and it was summer and hot, for like an hour, and not offered a drink of any sort (it was a kids’ thing so I wasn’t expecting alcohol) When I asked, I was told so -and -so was bringing drinks, and they were not there yet.     I was like ummmmm what ????

So because you don’t have a vagina, you don’t know that you need to offer guests something to fucking drink outdoors on a hot day? Like I’m not kidding, not even water! Idiot! I think his wife came home at one point, and I said something to her. I was able to get a flat generic ginger ale out of a 2 liter bottle. Gee thanks. The drink people did eventually show up. As did the ketchup and mustard people, or we would have been eating dry hamburgers and hotdogs, since the hosts were too cheap and stupid to do this.

Shep says “We don’t want to have kids, but we’re not using protection ”Make that make sense. Chleb is like, ohhhh okay, sure  sounds smart. Chleb makes fun of him in his yap. He makes a condom joke, but there are other methods besides condoms.  Think there’s this new thing, it’s like a pill, that a woman can take every day.  think it’s aptly named  “birth control” or something crazy like that.  

He is sounding like an idiot right now. But who is surprised.

What’s this Australia thing they’re talking about ?  they really are planning on going for two months to Australia? “Taylor can’t do that” Austen says.  Assuming that means because she has, like, a job? I think I looked up, when i was curios what she did for work, that she was a dental hygienist or something?  Yeah she is going to be  FIRED UP if Shep flies halfway across the world for two fucking months.   Shep almost sounds like he is planning on just breaking up with  her eventually, and enjoying her while he can, and literally has no intention of marrying her.  He says, “I hear it all the time, we dated for five years and broke up because we didn’t want the same things…”  as if that’s something to strive for or emulate  ?? I hope Taylor is pissed seeing him say that. If they’re even still together. This was filmed close to year ago.

Just when we thought Shep was growing up, and finally acting like an adult. He goes on to even say, he doesn’t believe in monogamy, and she is going to have to figure it out.  Wow. have a feeling she will be dumping him, if she hasn’t already.

Their Barbecue is literally all meat with, a side of meat. What happened to the store bought potato salad, don’t even see that out?

Little Craig chews a whole in their cornhole bean bag, so they abandon the cornhole playing.

Madison is announcing her engagement on Amazon? ‘Amazon Live’?  Is that a thing? I never heard of it.  Someone’s pretty full of herself.    Who does this chick think she is?  Cleary she’s overestimating her fan base. or people that are even rooting for her, or give a rats ass who they hell she’s fucking and forced into buy her a ring.   The guys all laugh at her.

I think the dudes wanted Austen to get all bothered over it, but he is mostly just laughing it off, and realizing he’s missing out on nothing.

He’s more annoyed at her stupid dig that “the only ex i care about is my son’s father.” Probably not so much the content of what she said, more like why did she feel the need to do that ?  Only a horrible heartless person does that. 

She’s fucking weird. I agree with the guys, no way this wedding is taking place. Engaged in only five months after meeting? He clearly hasn’t had the time to know what a horrible human she is, or he has just been too drunk too notice. I read he might have a drinking problem.

Chleb talks about Kathryn wanting him to spend more times with her kids, that she only sees every other weekend, but he works on the weekends.    If I were her, I would be more focused on ME spending quality time with them.  4 – 6 days a month to see and interact with your kids, as a mom, is awful.  Her priorities , as usual are fucked up. He doesn’t have kids, so it seems like he doesn’t really know what to say when she talks about this ongoing custody battle.   I like Chleb, but I kind of get the feeling he may be glad she doesn’t have them full time. Also he may be thinking, when she starts her bitching and moaning, “you’re the one that was getting high when ya knew you were getting tested.” Kind of like, you made your bed… kind of thing.

He shares he hasn’t been to their home (or HER HOME as she pointed out at her party) in five days.      

Chleb is going to their apartment to   ‘talk to Kathryn.’  Yeah good luck with that !!!  Does he not know she is impossible to have a normal adult conversation with?  Of course he doesn’t know what he’s walking into. He should though. Terrible food and a terrible person, who can never say she was wrong.

She’s making meatballs with no seasoning whatsoever. 

It’s very awkward when he walks in.  Of course our narcissistic never in the wrong Kathryn Dennis, still in  her head, thinks she did nothing wrong, so is already on the offense, as she’s pretending to know how to cook. 

She demands to know “where he’s been??” He should have said ” well, this lS this is YOUR home, so i was letting you have it for a few days” 

He asks what she’s making and she’s just like “oh my gawwwwdddd…!!!!”   Ya know I really think Chleb’s mom was coming from a good place when she suggested this debacle. She clearly does NOT know Kathryn, if she really thought this would work.  She’s missing the whole concept here of this “olive branch” she was supposed to be extending. Chleb’s mom didn’t realize she needed to give her step by step instructions, beyond lighting candles.

She continues to drill him.  

“What are you planning to say ??”   she demands to know, after he says he came here to make up.  Well what are YOU planning to say Kathryn? The dude walks in and it’s been nothing but a series of moans and groans and constipated faces, and zero ownership of YOUR behavior that started the whole fucking thing! People like this never want to admit they are the problem.

They start talking. He doesn’t sound like he loves her. He said “I Love you”  as ‘love’ goes up like 10 octaves.  She is a lot to deal with. Didn’t she want him to come over and have dinner and talk? Doesn’t that sound like maybe she would own her part and apologize for the embarrassing scene she made at her party?

He says let’s talk about it and she says “are you kidding meeeee????? “  Thought that was the whole purpose of this dinner date thing?   It certainly wasn’t for the food.

She plates this slop. “Here you have a plate, let’s sit down.”   Wow that sounds inviting, Captain Warmth. He looks scared.

She’s serving up this disgusting cafeteria food as she’s telling him basically telling him she cannot continue with the relationship.

At this point Kathryn, Mayday !! just abandon this dinner idea. Chleb’s mom assumed you could actually communicate like and adult.   It’s not like you put any effort into this food whatsoever, so hang it up.

“Do you think this can work??”   she says she thought about it and determined that he’s emotionally unavailable. He said he didn’t know what he was getting into.  As in didn’t know that she was insane and expected you to abandon your life for her?   He says the Thomas and the kids custody thing is a lot.  

Neither of them took one bite of this shit.  Why are they using spoons?

He  shuts down, arms crossed. Now she’s fake crying as if SHE’s  the victim when she clearly has been mistreating him. 

She wants someone who is a “kind and good human” she says in her yap. It’s hard to keep someone around like that, when you are NOT a kind and good human.

 What the fuck IS this prison slop shit slop she made? At first I thought, since there were meatballs, it was just really horrible looking generic pasta sauce she poured right out of the jar. Viewers on Twitter said it was barbecue sauce with rice ? Either way it looks horrible and plain,

Run Chleb run.  Think she could have skipped the candles if she was just planning on breaking up with him.  

 Whatever the hell it is, he should be happy she dumped him so he didn’t have to actually eat that slop. She dumps it in the trash. Good idea!