Whitney is in Cannes Of course he is.
Asshole.
Scripted Madison following her marching orders since she’s a boring old married lady now, and hanging with the dudes in her extremely short tight clothing. I know – she looks great. I’m being judgy because she’s married and I just don’t think this is 100% appropriate, and I’m not Amish and I’m not a prude as I got accused of being on a Facebook chat. And she’s a bit overdressed for this outdoor wooden picnic table spot they’re at. Like what is she doing?? A dressy dress and pumps with not much left for the imagination.
It’s just getting weird how she hangs out constantly without her husband, dressed like she’s on a hot date.
Please tell me this meet up scene is not just about whining that Craig went fishing with fucking JT Jesus Christ, it is.
Since when are Madison and Craig such buddies??
Going fishing with JT, “hurt Austen’s feelins.”
You know good ole Madison – always worry about everybody’s fucking ‘feelins.’
Is Austen too pussy to talk to Craig himself? And has to have Madison do it?
******
I’ve noticed that JT decided to clean up his apartment. Remember what a fucking pigsty it was last season?? Shady producers were zooming in on the mess.
JT is headed to Augusta. He should call Sutton and crew from the Beverly Hills Housewives, they’re all single.
Poor little guy, he’s being ostracized by the group. I do feel kind of bad for him. He gots big bad mean 92 pound Madison telling everyone to hate him.
Venita being giddy and acting stupid over JT, and she’s inviting him over for dinner, why girl why??
******
Salley and Molly meet up. They’re both wearing a cropped tops with no bra was the first thing I’ve noticed. Who wears a cropped top with no bra. Salley especially looks ridiculous.
Their interaction seems forced. I feel like they’re trying too hard to make small talk.
They literally discussed all of their procedures. Salley announces, as if we give a damn, that she’s having her implants removed and goes into a whole big diatribe of why, when again, who the hell cares.
I feel like we’ve seen the end of Southern Charm. This reminds me of the last season of Shahs on Sunset.
Molly talks about her very small boobs being created by sucking fat out of her ankles.
Yeah, the Southern Charmers are going to be losing their big fat Bravo paychecks, pretty sure. This is sad.
Molly and Shep would be a cute couple except I hesitate to encourage anybody to be in a relationship with Shep.
Salley for the love of all that is holy, WE KNOW YOU HOOKED UP WITH SHEP. It’s nothing to brag about. He would stick it to any girl that was just remotely attractive. I feel like it’s so skanky for a woman to be bragging about hooking up with random guys. (Lori Eddy)
Where’s Madison?? Instead of hanging with these two where she would’ve fit right in with this dialogue, they have her dressing like a tramp and being some kind of weird ‘mediator’ with the dudes.
They don’t even have her filming with Venita, and I thought they were actual for real friends. It’s just giving so fake and phony. Whitney come on now. We clearly need some new cast. And it’s time for Madison to go. Or at least until Brett divorces her.
Boy’s outing day, and my first question is where the hell’s Madison in a short skit and her new titties out?
Austen and Shep are excruciating. Shep is really trying to convince us, or himself that he’s one bit serious about this Bahamas chick that I assume he met online.
I can’t believe he’s telling this random girl who could be his daughter, that he loves her. It hasn’t occurred to him that she’s nothing but a fucking groupie?
A male server waiting on dudes is funny. Everyone tries to extra hard to sound cool. “Yeah Maaaaaannnn, let’s do it!!”
Austen is soooooo weird. He is. He really is. His demeanor especially around women is so odd. Why does he have to act so —— gay?? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just that he’s with women.
He encourages Shep to stop kissing this chick’s ass. She clearly is blowing him off and trying hard to tell him this is just a casual fling. And wanted to be on TV.
******
Patricia better sleep with one eye open. This new butler Randy guy is no Michael (RIP.)
He hates her and he looks like he’s likely to shove that fucking bell up her arse. Or the champagne flute.
Madison is switching it up and hanging with 84 year old Patricia today instead of the dudes, or girls or own age.
Funny how she’s not dressed like a high-end hooker to meet up with Patricia, who is lounging in her bedroom day drinking.
Could Madison kiss her ass any more?? You know she makes fun of Patricia behind her back, right?
This bitch is counting on being named in the will, mark my words, and she probably is.
Madison dutifully does her rich people laugh thing at whatever Patricia says.
Patricia is fucking shitfaced. Randy totally wants her dead.
I am so relieved she’s not yakking about Austen, JT and Craig. She mixes it up with gossiping about Shep. They flash on a scene of this chick announcing to everyone that her Grandmother runs a Southern Charm fan club and she wanted her to date Shep.
Okay so that’s creepy and weird. (Crystal Beverly Hills shout-out) Patricia announces that she was first talking to Whitney on Raya before Shep. So yes she’s like literally Kathryn and wants to hook up with one of these rich old dudes.
The ladies are meeting for lunch – Craig, Shep and Austen. Craig wants to discuss this stupid fucking podcast and wants Shep to mediate. What’s with all the mediators??
Yeah that sounds like something right up Shep’s alley – mediating (that was sarcasm.) About as believable as Madison.
Craig wants to buy him out of his podcast rights or however the hell that works.
Sometimes Craig’s monotone voice kind of gets on my nerves. It makes him sound nerdy.
Shep whines to him about this fake girlfriend blowing him off. So now he suddenly wants to get married and have babies when he had NO INTEREST in that with Taylor.
I feel like this Sienna chick thinks he’s a big dork. He kind of is. I was more in agreement with Austen’s advice to stop blowing up her phone and pissing and moaning that she’s not calling and texting him every five minutes.
Supposedly Austen had no idea Craig was bring Shep to fight his battle, I mean ‘mediate.’
Their waitress seems annoyed at being filmed.
Craig offers Austen 30g to walk away from the podcast. Austen gets all dramatic about that. They then drop that and start bickering about spending time together.
Do dudes do this?
Shep’s getting all worried he’s not doing mediating job as he tries to interject twice, and gets ignored.
He gives up and drinks his beer.
This is funny.
Craig then addresses him as ‘the mediator’ and wants his two cents. He sides with Austen.
The argument of whether they’re just mad that Craig isn’t drinking and goofing off all day with them, fucking AGAIN.
Omg, not hurt feelings. Or ‘feelins.’ Where’s Madison, oh right, sucking up to Patricia. Otherwise she’d be here.
Craig reassures Austen he will make more effort on their friendship. Sort of, because he follows it up with how he’s not going to do anything much differently.
These idiots talk in circles.
Not sure what’s going on with the podcast. Do we care?
******
Venita really?? Making dinner for this asshole just so he can sit here and pretend he has a girlfriend?? And why is she sucking up to his mom?
Also why is JT talking like he’s delivering a sermon?
Stupid.
