Madison narrating gets on my nerves. Didn’t they have her doing it last season too? And why is she literally the only one on the show with a Southern accent??
They’re all SC natives except Craig?
And how is it she landed that adorable sweet calm AF dude that worships her when she’s a fucking bitch with a black heart and no soul??
I can’t fathom what it might be like to be with a drama-free dude. Guys – be like Brett.
I feel so sad about his cancer issues. Of all the people to have cancer??
What a bitch she was to JT, honestly. She makes no sense.
“Have you seen my husband? Do YOU think I would have an affair??? with yewwwwwwwww???”
Way to sound shallow Madison. Like you wouldn’t have an affair with a guy less attractive than Brett, but hey if you find one with your while, you MIGHT be game.
How about ‘I love my husband. I would never cheat on him.’
And I think JT knows you’re not having an affair with him. What he said was that BRETT thinks you’re having an affair when you were posting shit drunk all hours of the night, wearing his clothes, so your husband called him to find out what was going on.
She made herself sound shallow and dumb, which is exactly what she is. I wish JT would’ve pointed that out.
Yes I know he’s annoying and kind of dorky, I’m not a fan of his, but damn she’s just being MEAN for no reason.
Okay enough of that for now. I had to get that off of my chest. This is my first recap in forever!! My computer took a crap and had to wait til I got a new one. RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS OF COURSE.
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This Salley chick is annoying me too. Okay we get it, you’re pretty AND a robot operator. No she’s not a surgeon as people seem to think. She’s not even a nurse. She’s a sales rep for the medical device she sells and operates.
Like girl you’re not the first pretty medical person on the planet. Fish for compliments much? I’ve also seen very attractive women that are actual DOCTORS, not robot operators, so take a fucking seat. Has she ever watched Miami?? Nicole is a doctor AND gorgeous and pretty sure she’s never felt the need to point that out. Nor has she announced what she makes.
And what the fuck kind of mind fuckery are these yaps where she’s wearing the exact same thing but is blonde in one and brunette and skinnier in the other? And they play them back to back? is that a joke??
And oh she never got the memo of how tacky it is to brag about your pay rate.
I mean really. This chick is coming off as insecure and an idiot. She reminds me of my EX-HUSBAND’S WIFE. Except at least this chick is attractive and doesn’t look like Miss Piggy.
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We have Rodrigo back for some reason. He hates Taylor’s beach motif décor.
I’m assuming I’m not the only one that wants to break into “no one’s as quick as Gaston, no one’s as slick as Gaston…” every time she says his name.
Was mom a Beauty and the Beast fan??
Now she’s whining about a ring with this dude. Same exact rhetoric, different guy.
Taylor seriously thinks just because she’s engaged or married, that means the relationship is perfect and will definitely work out. Like what is wrong with her?
And why is she hanging out with Rodrigo?? He clearly can’t stand her. He seems like one of those gay guys that can’t stomach girls.
Shep’s new girlfriend that he’s pretending to be in love with, don’t you think she looks like Lisa Bonet?
What the fuck was with him and the racist-ish commentary about how she’s oh she’s so exotic, and looks ‘different’ and loves that ‘crazy hair?’ Like dude we get it she’s black, we see that. And you’ve never dated a black chick before, pretty sure we all know that as well.
Of course Gaston has some controversy surrounding him already. Is he an asshole or is he not? We don’t know yet. He seems like he does not like to hang around the crowd and the cameras, so that could be a good sign or a bad sign.
And then of course the world’s only pretty pretend surgeon dated him for five minutes and has nothing nice to say. Of course this is why she was cast.
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So the Charleston bro’s meet up for lattes and matchas. Shep orders a matcha tea even though he has no idea what it is, and I can’t fathom he would like it.
This chick he’s pretending to be in love with lives in the Bahamas. Shep is no candidate for a long distance relationship. I think we all know that. Duhhh.
Shep rips on Craig’s relationship, as he always fucking does. Of course in light of recent events, ahem, it does land a little bit differently. But he doesn’t have to be an asshole. Shep’s so mad he has no passion, no substance, and no soul.
Shep saying he wants to have kids with Sienna is sending me I don’t even know where. When Taylor heard that she probably went off the deep end. I know she still loves him. Sadly. Why does he gyrate and tremble like that? It seems more than just your standard ADHD.
Can I just glaze over Craig getting his sperm frozen? They all talk about whether or not they want to have kids. It seems a little sad.
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Patrica and Whitney scenes are getting so CA- RINGY !!!!!
Whitney needs to go. He needs to just be like behind the scenes. Behind. No pun intended.
Sitting in the house in sunglasses and a track suit zipped up to his neck, bragging about their wealth?
OMFG okay.
This is what NaHOmie was fucking just to piss Craig off and/or have a story line?? I feel so sorry for her. No wonder we never saw her again after that season. I would hide too. There was a point where I thought he was intriguing but I definitely changed my mind.
Whitney is a dude that looks very confused about himself, and his sexuality, and seriously ripped on a woman at a formal dinner for gaining a few pounds? Can’t make this shit up. Missed saying that.
Patricia girllll, you’re not getting a grandchild. You’re 83. Your only child is 56 and has never been married and doesn’t even like girls. I mean really. It’s okay.
He fidgets almost as badly as Shep. Is there something in the water there? Or is that what happens when you’re a dude that’s gay and just doesn’t want to admit it?? I mean it’s okay, no judgment, just stop wasting bitches’ time!!
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There are so many cute places to go in Charleston. It’s like worth the trip to just check out all of these al fresco little spots. I love me a place where the menu is on a chalkboard.
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Leva who has to make her appearances and we don’t know why, meets up with JT meet up for tacos and whining.
He cries to her about big bad wolf meanie 92 pound Madison chewing him up and spitting him out so she has a ‘story line.’
Grow a pair JT, Jesus.
Have you all heard he leaves the show all in a huff before filming was over? So it’s safe to say the bullying continues throughout the season. Good job Madison.
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I think it’s so telling when Craig is asking Paige about decorating the room above the garage and she’s like ‘whatever don’t worry about me, do whatever you want in that room.’
That right there should have been a sign she was never ever living there. I think it’s sick she drug this out so long and pretended she ‘wasn’t ready’ when in reality she knew she wasn’t staying with him and knew she didn’t want to marry him.
It wasn’t a matter of not ‘being ready.’ She didn’t want anything long term with Craig.
Like Paige isn’t like a someone that wants to be a wife. She doesn’t like to cook or do anything homey, and didn’t really appreciate that about Craig.
Craig and Austen have a podcast that I was unaware of, but should have known.
I can’t imagine how horrible it is.
What Bravoleb does NOT have a stupid podcast? He complains that they don’t record it together even though they live two seconds from each other. I have to agree with Paige that it’s a little ridiculous when he has this entire podcast room space. I feel like Austen is preoccupied with being up Shep’s asshole now and being critical of Craig about every little thing he does or says. Remember when he was an unmotivated bum and got criticized for that by these two bozos?? Especially Shep, the biggest bozo of all.
It seems they’re a bit obsessed with him TBH.
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Madison and Brett discuss his health issues while golfing with Hudson. This has to be hard for her to have to be concerned about someone other than herself.
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I don’t think we’ve had Patricia’s birthday celebration when filming, at least not that I recall. She doesn’t want to celebrate birthday but of course is down for a bougie dinner.
The whole premise of this season seems to be the dudes picking on Craig and JT for some fucking reason. So adult and manly. A couple of dudes confused about their sexuality being mean girls.
Why does no one have a gift for Pat except that one dude? That’s pretty tacky. Does Patricia need anything? No. Can she buy whatever she wants? Yes. But you still bring a fucking gift.
Madison walks in empty-handed, pointing out herself, and how she ‘looks like the slutty one’ which was a weird thing to say, demanding a cocktail. In other words pay attention to ME, compliment ME. Her dress isn’t even what I would call slutty, surprisingly. Someone needs to tell her it’s not HER birthday.
Not sure why Craig wasn’t invited. The fucktards that are Shep and Austen, the extreme vaginas that they are, criticize him for not attending. When he wasn’t invited. Then proceed to whine that he’s working too much. I can’t. This is so fucking stupid.
Like Shep, Austen has a new pretend girlfriend too. No Olivia this season, which I think was good for her.
I noticed there’s been no talk of the Austen and Taylor alleged hook-ups from last season.
Shep calls Craig a ‘just a figure head’ in his business. He was making these types of comments last season as well. And I’m going to say the same thing I said last season. Like if he’s able to be a ‘figure head’ and make the money I suspect he’s making, while not busting his ass 9-5 all day, then I would say he’s doing something right. Jealous much Shep?? Usually the owner of a business is not the one in the warehouse, you stupid asshole.
It’s not like this isn’t an endeavor that he’s not passionate about. Like get off his jock.
Shep literally could get endless free money from mommy to pursue a business except I know, he has NO fucking interests, and no fucking drive whatsoever.
Whitney and Shep refer to Craig as boring. Madison defends him. Pretty bad when she’s the one having to tell people they’re acting fucking douchey.
Love Shep in his yap acting like the fucking moral police. Gimme a break.
What’s hilar is how they discuss how they miss him so much, yet the didn’t invite him to the dinner. Cannot make this shit up. Okay I’ve beat this to death.
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Austen is going to Craig’s to discuss how they were all gossiping about him.
Craig’s back yard is amazing. Austen walks in looking awkward. He immediately whines Craig wasn’t at Pat’s dinner when HE WASN’T INVITED.
“So you talked about my absence at party I wasn’t invited to?”
Okay so they bicker about Craig not saying yes to lunch and beer invites which I think Austen is making up.
In other words Austen and Shep have literally nothing going on besides being little bitches and jealous that Craig has a life, a girlfriend, a business and a sick house that he wants to hang around at.
Austen misses his drinking buddy and that’s it, Craig proclaims, and if you listen to Austen’s gripes, I don’t really disagree. Like did he really want to golf or did he want an excuse to drink for five hours during the day?
Austen gets very defensive at that when addressing it in his yap.
He takes his little waterloo and leaves. Austen is a pussy.
