I missed recapping this one last week, and I really wanted to because of the argument on the sprinter van, which was epic, because first of all the camera angle of Meredith screaming was so funny! She looked like a caricature. She was the one going the most nuts.
Everybody’s screaming simultaneously at Brittany for recording their argument. Was she recording them? (with cameras on her so not a bright move but does she seem bright?) Yes she was, but I don’t think it was malicious.
She was probably going to send a funny little vid to her fake boyfriend saying ‘hey this is what I’m dealing with, what are you up to? Lol.’
I don’t know why she just didn’t say that instead of making up fifteen different stories, all of which made no sense.
Not to mention the extreme irony of these bitches going ballistic that she’s recording them. whilst they’re being recorded!!
But I know, I get it, as Housewives viewers we gotta roll with it, the irony and the hypocrisy and all ….
So here we go Finale Ep —
******
Still on this fucking vacay…
Meredith mysteriously wakes up with a scratched cornea and has a lopsided fur eye mask over face. Meredith is quite the odd character.
I may have to brush up on the previous week because I’m not even remembering this argument they refer to.
Does she even elaborate on how her cornea got scratched? And why does it never get mentioned again?
Heather was OF COURSE being completely shady in the Lisa themed lunch idea.
Lisa is annoyed the second she sees them, then pretends to think it’s funny.
She probably knows exactly what is coming.
They start immediately mocking her, as predicted, “I love that, I love that…”
The poor kid waiting on them, I feel so bad for. I’m sure they already loathe Americans, and then he has this group representing us, that act like a bunch of ding dongs with no manners what so fucking ever.
This is all screaming a Heather Gay (& Whitney) production. She has everyone impersonating her. Most of them are funny. Lisa is gritting her teeth but trying to be a good sport.
And THEN, it’s Whitney’s turn, who has a tag on her top. I guess Lisa got busted with tags on her clothes at one point. Then it goes from tongue in cheek to bitchy because Whitney starts calling her fake and phony.
Whitney LOVES to poke at Lisa and Lisa never disappoints.
Bragging about material things and money is her go-to defense mechanism, so she starts yammering about how many companies she owns.
No wonder they mock her.
Heather looks extremely pleased with herself and smug.
If Lisa were smarter and could handle her emotions, she would’ve just laughed at the tag hanging out and said “oh yeah I did do that one time. I wasn’t sure I totally loved it, and it was $10,000, hehheheh.” Done. Whilst even getting a brag in that the outfit was 10g’s.
When will these bitches learn?? How can they not tell when they’re being set up and just rise above?
Lisa is PISSED, and lunges at Whitney to grab the wig off of her head.
Now she’s suing, another Lisa go-to. This is the part where she always calls her attorneys. Mmkay mission accomplished, now let’s move on to poor stupid Britani.
She’s always a fun target because she gets all upset and cries.
This whole thing with the phone recording, who the fuck cares. Fucking dingbats, you’re being filmed to be aired in front of the entire Bravoverse, so let’s chill the hell out, ‘BIATCHES!!’
They break up into horseback riding and ceviche-making. I will definitely be making that. I’ve been looking for a Bravo-inspired recipe idea for my recipe category!
How hard can it be? It’s raw seafood food and lemon juice. They’re of course annoying the shit out of the chef doing the demonstration, and they think they’re so cute and funny. Why can’t these bitches ever just act normal? Salt Lake and Jersey have the worst public behavior, and the worst fashion.
Anytime there is horseback (or camel riding – circa vintage RHONY) riding, there’s always one that’s unruly. Maybe the animals are onto something.
Can hardly wait for the arguing dinner!! Lisa ‘spent so much time organizing it!’
How DO these ladies do it?
Bronawyn is dressed like a parrot.
Angie tries to talk to Mary, and Mary has a stick up her ass. She’s mad Angie stuck up for Britani. Oh okay Mary, who I guess needed a moment.
Why can’t Mary ever just leave God out of things? I’m not overly-religious but not against religion. I believe in God, I’m just saying she seems to involve him in a lot of Housewife situations that I don’t know that he really wants to be involved in. Not sure he cares a lot about Bravo. No offense, Andy.
Mary is being so super stubborn as Angie basically gravels at feet like Ugly Skanky Ho Lori Eddy, and it goes on entirely too long.
“Who else wants to clear the air??” We need to not say that on Housewives. Especially when no air-clearing takes place. Ever.
Not the Alibaba thing again. Woman your jewelry WAS sourced from there and honestly, nobody gives a shit.
We didn’t really expect that you were in the basement of your house making fucking jewelry. It’s pretty easy to figure out when we can see the same fucking shit on both sites.
This Bravo podcaster that they talk about is ‘Up and Adam’ the guy that Whitney called many many episodes ago that supposedly told her Lisa ‘started the rumor.’ Again you can see the products on both sites Whitney!
Shortly after that episode Adam said on his podcast and TikTok that he did NOT tell Whitney that, and that she’s lying.
Whitney is so stupid. So her ‘proof’ was Adam just saying that. Which he didn’t.
Whitney loves the word ‘proof.’ I honestly don’t think she knows the definition of the word. Someone telling your something isn’t fucking proof. Jesus.
And Lisa’s favorite word is ‘lying.’ Everyone’s always fucking lying. When she doesn’t agree with you, you’re lying.
Whitney claims she called Monica and she implicated Lisa in ‘leaking info’ or some fucking shit. Okay well Monica HATES Lisa so…
Everyone is pissed she called Monica. Meredith and Heather seem especially annoyed and Meredith, you just don’t want to upset. At least she’s sober so she’s keeping it together.
Heather gets on some sort of ‘accountability and friendship’ soapbox. She should be a motivational speaker
What kind of Housewife nonsense is this? Read out loud something bitchy from your phone to the group that you said about one of the ladies.
Is Heather getting producer pay now? Did she literally just watch Mean Girls before this scene?
This after her heartwarming speech that they should all have each other’s back and support each other since the entire Bravoverse jabs at them and tears them down.
Can’t make this shit up
Mary seems anxious to go first and tells Heather of a bitchy comment she had made that never made her feel welcome, and her success has gone to her head.
So who exactly did she write this message to? She just happened to have this in her phone written to nobody?
This does not sound like Mary. Mary writes and communicates like a second grader. No fucking way Mary wrote this shit.
You could see it’s just a screenshot, not a written message to anybody. Makeshift Producer Heather Gay pretends to look remorseful and give a shit.
This is so ridiculous
Embarrassed for Britani with Bronwyn’s assessment of her, but a lot of it is accurate.
I do think women that marry rich much older men, it is basically a business arrangement. No way they’re attracted to these old geezers.
She’s been called this many many times and will continue to get called this especially after the Bravoverse saw what a fucking grouchy grumpy controlling piece of shit weirdo this dude is. Like girl what you DOING? Do you like money and stuff THAT much?? That you would forfeit your dignity and freedom? No. Keep that four million dollar necklace dude. I like the ones I get at CVS.
Heather‘s is about Whitney just basically being Whitney. It was a softball comment because the two of them are in cahoots in this whole thing to go after Lisa again since her reactions are so epic.
Everyone seems to be playing along and taking it well but you know damned well Lisa’s not going to. And you know that Lisa’s is going to be a doozy.
Whitney decides to share that Lisa and John have a bit of a kinky sex life. She claims she and Justin befriended some random ho that shared that she’s been part of a threesome with them. Whitney is graphic in her description of what this woman supposedly told them.
Right on queue, Lisa flips the fuck out. Whitney most likely made this up.
What’s with Whitney and her raunchy shit?? I’m no Lisa fan, I think she’s a superficial asshole, but this is gross. I agree, leave poor John who wouldn’t hurt a fly, out of it. The poor guy already has to put up with self-absorbed shallow Lisa every day of his life. Leave ‘The Huzzzband’ alone.
Did anybody say anything about Meredith? She’s ready to go to sleep.
Lisa’s decides to direct her rage towards Angie and get her in on the ‘huzband’ thing. So we’re continuing the raunchiness, she announces Sean does circle jerks. This is old news. We all can see that Sean is gay. Do we even have to argue about this? I feel like everybody knows Sean is gay but Angie.
She starts freaking, and a producer gets involved.
Whitney keeps insisting she didn’t start anything, she “wanted to burn it.”
Lisa is right, If this was said about her and Justin she would go ape shit too and accuse everyone of ‘weaponizing her sexuality’ again.
Oh, there’s Meredith! She woke up to put her two cents in! But I don’t recall what her two cents was!
Lisa storms away. They show the whole damned camera crew squatting on the floor. That was kind of funny.
Whitney sits at the table playing dumb, (easy to do) not understanding why her comment wasn’t accepted and forgiven. Oh I don’t know Whitney, because your ‘critique’ of Lisa was fucking raunchy AF. Whitney would be the one to go there because we all know Whitney has some fucking issues.
Okay makeshift producer Heather claims this isn’t what she wanted, she totally thought insulting each other was going to be a hoot, and all have a great big laugh!!
“These friendships are worth riding for” Heather announces in her finale yap. Exactly what ‘friendships’ is she talking about?
They all fucking hate each other. Housewives is where friendships go to die.
