The reunion finale starts out with Andy cracking a joke about Meredith giving him the stink eye. I actually think she’s just bored shitless.
She really didn’t have much going on this season other than her weird accents and twangs, and Whitney still got third seat. I think they want to knock Whitney down a peg or two, or want to make sure she steps it up it next season. She needs to come up with more childhood trauma, or pick on her mom, or leave Justin. I don’t put any of this past her. I saw that they put their house up for sale so I feel like something’s going on.
This makeup thing with Lisa, I’m just wanting to glaze over it, but I probably won’t be able to. It was so, I don’t even know. I don’t even know. Stupid for one thing.
Her bragging about bringing glam to Saint-Tropez, and Monaco and everywhere she goes, as if she goes to these places on the regular. Mary accuses her of being insecure. I don’t think it’s so much as insecurity is just being obnoxious, in the way that she talks about it and flaunts and brags about it.
Her tantrum at the Trixie Motel, I don’t think it was so much about the makeup, as much as being completely against the drag thing. (so why go on the trip, to a drag-themed motel is my question.) I think Meredith acted bugged by it, and refused to participate just to support Lisa. Wasn’t this the trip she supposedly planned? At this motel? So that’s weird.
Why else would Lisa say “I don’t like this shit!! What shit?
She was referring to dressing in drag, in my opinion. I mean, all it is really, for a woman, is overstated and excessive makeup and hair. Like what’s the big fucking deal?? You’re a woman, dressing like a woman with a lot of makeup. Even if you have conservative beliefs, what’s the controversy??
Mary calling her insecure that she’s obsessed with her glam squad, isn’t it also insecurity to body shame other women.
By the way, Mary, it’s a corset not a ‘corkset.’ Cannot believe Andy let that go. Then she backpedals, and denies that that size 14 comment on WWHL was not body shaming Heather.
She lays it on a little thick by complimenting her on how great she looks. There’s a camera zoom on Monica‘s reaction to this, as Heather accepts the compliment, as if it was one bit genuine. I’m going to call this Monica’s best moment of all three reunion parts, and the entire season. She knows Mary is full of shit.
Heather acts like she’s buying her bullshit, which is flooring me kinda. Or maybe Mary just isn’t worth her time or energy.
So in one or two sentences, this woman got away with body shaming, lying about it, and mispronouncing a common word (for a woman into fashion) simultaneously, and nobody called her out on any of it.
******
Lisa to Monica: “you’re not really good at arguing, you gotta be smarter”
Well, you certainly can’t ‘argue’ that one. All she does is age shame the ladies, and mock and repeat what they’re saying in their own voice.
I’m trying to think of the target age range of girls doing this when getting disciplined by their parents, or arguing with a friend or sibling. I want to say like 11, 12, 13? I feel like by high school this type of rhetoric is beneath most girls, and grade school age seems young to be this disrespectful.
This really does prove that she’s not very bright, which honestly explains a lot in her desperation to have money. Because she sure as hell can’t do it in anyway having to use her brain or any type of skill, whatsoever.
Meredith gets her moment when they recognize her for being successful at churning her butter. Okay, so it wasn’t a completely lost season for Meredith. She looks so proud. So cute.
Why does Andy ask her if it ‘melted’ on the way to the restaurant? For one thing, it was winter in Utah, and secondly, I don’t believe butter melts at room temperature in half an hour. Melted?? Did I misunderstand that? Andy is spending so much time around the Housewives that he’s starting to sound as stupid as they do. I think he needs a vacation.
“Shut up!!” Also one of her very intelligent and profound go-to’s.
Monica is indeed very obsessed with Lisa. This woman really needs to find herself a rich man, so she can stop obsessing over these women, Lisa especially, who is clearly bothered by getting mocked, but trying to act like she’s not.
Meredith gets accolades, yet again, for her Whitney impression. See she did more than just talk weird for four months!
None of them are taking kindly to having their voices and deamenors being imitated and poked fun at.
These ladies have no ability to laugh at themselves.
Whitney: “That’s not how I sound, I don’t think that’s how I sound.” Girl you’ve been on a TV show for the past four years, do you not watch yourself? Something tells me Whitney loves watching herself. It’s how you sound, yes.
Mary’s reunion stay has now expired, sadly. It was just getting entertaining.
But not before she has some final digs for Whitney in.
This part to me, was was funny. I like the ‘real’ and random moments that do sometimes pop up here and there. Andy allows them to have a potty break, and as they all get up, Monica opts to not use the restroom leave her seat, and stays there by herself. Right by Andy.
She had to know at that moment she was done with Housewives, at least for now. If she didn’t even feel comfortable, interacting with the others on a break, how is she going to film with them in a few months? Her only ally is Mary, and I think it’s just because she’s looking for a FT spot, so needs a friend, besides Meredith. I don’t get Meredith’s obsession with Mary, at all.
Maybe she just didn’t have to pee, like the old broads do. Shocked she didn’t say that. I feel like this scene spoke volumes.
I’m sure that was awkward for Andy having to sit there with her for ten minutes. She rearranges the pillows, and fiddles with her hair as Andy stares at his phone. That was probably the longest ten minutes of his life. Like what’s he going to say to her? “How’s your day going?”
******
So we finally get into what all that went down in Bermuda. Keep in mind, at the end of the finale, Monica teased us with how there was a lot more to the story. So far there hasn’t been fucking shit, so let’s go.
Andy’s seemingly not familiar with this IG page, which you would think would have been a little homework assignment before they sat down to film. But whatever, maybe he’s pretending.
The original page had gotten shut down for bullying, if that gives you any indication of the content. Monica acts very Monica, ‘nu-huhhhhh that’s not why.’ Okay Monica – “shut up!!”
Monica claims she’s completely innocent and exempt from the all of the name calling and embarrassing comments about the Wives. It was the others doing this. She was merely trying to expose Jen for bullying, by bullying.
She has sub-zero fucking credibility. Claims what she was doing was fine, and not offensive, because you know, she was just repeating what Jen was saying.
Her story is that she posted these insults to expose how abusive Jen was to her so-called friends, not to embarrass them.
“You are not a hero in this, Monica,” Heather informs her as she insists she was doing God’s work, and this was all for the greater good, and everyone should be thanking her.
And where is this ‘more to the story’ shit that she promised in her yap during the finale?? What a dumb ass. DUMB ASS.
She’s denying she was even the one doing the posting of a certain comment, but Heather said the post was traced to her phone. Then her story is that doesn’t mean she ‘wrote it.’
This girl sounds like a fucking fool. She’s making Teresa Guidice look like a road scholar. So one of the others in the group maintaining this page, called or texted her, and said “hey Monica, post these two sentences.” Why wouldn’t they just do it themselves. It takes three seconds.
This girl should’ve sat the reunion out. Honestly, I know we don’t take too kindly to that, and she would’ve gotten a lot of slack for not facing the music, but I’m sorry, this is painful to watch.
It wasn’t THREE years she was doing the page, it was TWO! That’s another one of her big arguments that she thinks helps her case.
Heather shows Andy the string of tags, and DM’s or whatever on her phone of all of the page’s nasty and disparaging comments.
This dumb ho gets this fucking Mean Girl ‘Burn Book’ out, that looks exactly like the one in the movie. She presents this as if it clears her or something? I don’t know. I’m concerned for her. I really am. This is really how she spends her time? Who’s minding the store while she’s making a stupid fucking Burn Book for crissakes??
She looks so pleased with herself, almost as proud as Meredith with her butter. So, if you’re not familiar with the movie, the ‘Burn Book’ is a scrapbook type format of photos of the ladies, along with photos and random insults and petty name-calling.
She even did a page exactly like Regina George does in the movie, with her photo, calling herself a fugly slut or some shit. I don’t think this woman has matured since her 12th birthday. Who the hell names two of their of kids after the Kardashian/Jenner family? A twelve year-old, that’s who. I thought she was this extremely busy single mom going to the store at 11pm for milk?? I guess we see what she does with her day.
Are her two teen daughters watching this right now? If I acted like this in front of 1 million people, my daughter would call me so many names, and hate me. (even more) I say ‘boo’ and I get “MOM!!! OH MY GAD YOU’RE SO EMBARRASSING!!”
Everyone groans at the site of this fucking Burn Book. I think they’re already embarrassed for her. She claims it’s full of ‘receipts’ and hands it to Andy.
Does she know the meaning of ‘receipts’ as it pertains to Housewives??
I feel like this would just further incriminate her, and her unhealthy obsession with them, but again this is where a little bit of intelligence would come in handy, and it’s just not there.
She seems to think it’s really comical and cute, but it’s like — not.
Andy, as he’s flipping through, “what is the purpose of this book?”
It’s a joke. She sneers at Lisa to not take it seriously.
Monica, do not worry. No one takes it seriously. No one takes YOU seriously.
This fucking book also underscores that she was most likely behind all of the bitchy comments. How many times did fucking Linda Darnell drop her on her fucking head?? I feel really really bad for Monica. Like I said, this is painful.
Okay, so Dr. Andy explains and clarifies this to her, as she keeps urging everybody to laugh at this stupid book, even though it’s full of horrible things about them, that in trying to ‘expose Jen’ – she perpetuated these nasty and embarrassing comments about the girls. In which was hurting Jen very minimally. Bitchy shit she was saying about Heather and Lisa, sort of became the least of her problems. Like girl, this isn’t hard.
Andy: “Tell me how it’s helpful.“
You know God love Andy, he’s really trying here, because I do think he had a soft spot for her for some reason. Perhaps because of her abusive mother.
I feel like it’s slowly fading right here about halfway through, part 3. The more she talks, the more she incriminates herself. He doesn’t understand her confusion as to why they’re all pissed off at her.
She answers because they were supposedly big fans of the page. I guess sometimes they would chime in, I’m assuming with comments about Jen.
“Why do you want to be here? Why do you want to be our friend, because based on all of these posts, you fucking hate us?” Lisa asks.
Monica tries to ignore that as a rhetorical question, with her typical eye roll and groan, but Andy urges her to reply.
Both are true. She wanted to be their friend, but she also hates them?
When she knows that makes NO sense, she plays the victim card and cries Lisa is insinuating she’s not good enough to be here.
No, it’s not because you’re not loaded and live in a 3,000 (actually 1,200) SF house, it’s not because you banged your brother-in-law, it’s because you lied, and deceived the ladies to get on the show, then pretended to like them, all the while posting insults on an IG page undercover. As well as numerous other disturbing things that will be divulged.
I think this is why Heather is the most upset, because she took her under her wing in a way, and accepted her, and didn’t judge.
Monica claims she knew it was coming out at some point doing filming.
Andy asks why didn’t she admit it in the beginning? She had no problem admitting to the BIL thing??
