I can’t believe, well maybe I can, that we’re doing this exact same scenario as last season. Meredith scouring the internet, and digging up dirt about another wife’s business, and livelihood. Omg they’re crowd funding! Omg they owe taxes!!
She sneakily sends back-up docs to Monica, then plays dumb. Does this woman have nothing better to do?
We prepare for Monica’s birthday.
Meredith really is a character. Her voice, especially the voice, the expressions that she makes, her body language and posture. I don’t get why she did not pursue acting as a profession. She emerges to help with decorating with these really intense eyebrows. I don’t know where those came from. This woman is bizarre in not the typical Housewife way.
They’re discussing Whitney and Lisa, and what transpired the night before, which I don’t even remember.
Whitney enters the outdoor area just as Heather calls her petty. She apologizes for telling her to shut the fuck up. I don’t know if I have the energy for this tonight. They hug. Yay. Now I can sleep tonight. Heather doesn’t seem very sincere in her acceptance of the apology. She is kind of checked out with Whitney. And I don’t really blame her.
Monica enters. Meredith voice: “we’re still decoratinnnnnngggg”
Okay, Meredithhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Why does she TALK like that?
Catered breakfast. No Housewife fingers are lifted. Monica seems grateful.
Her mom made a big hoopla about getting therapy together, then doesn’t show up for the appointment supposedly.
This broad needs to go away. She’s clearly jealous and acting out because she was not invited on this trip.
It’s so very adult. If she wants to see her family so badly in Bermuda, she’s a fucking 50/60 year old woman. Buy a fucking plane ticket, woman, and go to Bermuda! Fuck! Are you a child?? Are you stupid or something??
What in the hell is with Lisa, and putting on a costume? What is the big fucking deal suddenly this season?? Monica wants everyone to dress as pirates for her birthday dinner, which is weird, and I even love costumes. Lisa makes a weird face. Is it something about pirates and drag queens, or just putting on a costume altogether? I feel like there’s been costume wearing in previous seasons, and it didn’t seem to be a problem. So I don’t know what’s going on with that.
Why is she wearing this jumpsuit to Jet Ski? Is this a Mormon thing? Is she a Mormon today? She can’t wear a bathing suit? But she can wear a strapless dress to church, and drink tequila? So confused.
Monica, who hated Lisa up until five minutes ago, wants her to accompany her to meet her family, which we know never even fucking happens. She has not seen these people since she was eight or nine years old. I’m assuming she’s not very close to them.
Monica fills in Lisa on everything that Meredith has said about Angie possibly being in the mafia and the Insta mysterious DM‘s.
Is Meredith really this stupid, that she doesn’t know how obvious it is that she’s the one sending this shit to Monica? And why does she even hate on Angie this much?? I I don’t even remember. It was the exact same scenario last season. They flash on a scene when she was shit talking Lisa, that she got a ‘random’ DM about Lisa’s financial affairs.
Someone please dig up some info on Meredith’s stupid jewelry business. There has to be some sort of skeletons in that closet. There has to be a reason why she and Seth cannot own any real estate, and move from rental to rental every year.
Why is Meredith wearing a turtleneck?
She’s obviously hot and uncomfortable, because she keeps pulling at it.
Monica is so weird asking Heather if her daughter is having sex? Especially for someone who also has a teen daughter. She should understand that’s inappropriate to ask this to a mother.
Jet skiing, and Monica, is in a cape, Meredith is in a turtleneck, and Lisa has her Versace jumper. They look like the misfits toys on Rudolph.
Monica gets a text after jet skiing from this family that built Bermuda from the ground up, and allegedly they now do not want her to visit them.
She suspects mom sabotaged the visit because she’s jealous she wasn’t allowed to come. This kind of vindictive immature behavior sounds familiar.
Lisa, her new BFF, apparently, goes after her. I feel so bad for Lisa, that she has to comfort her. She gets back on the van. Okay, chin up, get over it. You’re on an all expense paid vaca in Bermuda.
They head to the beach for sandwiches and champagne. Everything sitting there ready.
Lisa who claims to not like games, in addition to not liking to dress in costumes, presents the idea to play marry, fuck, kill about everybody else’s husband?? I mean, nothing like a little so-called game to get everybody fucking brawling on the beach. Even in jest, to sit there and say you want to fuck somebody else’s husband is just asking for problems.
Why are they constantly playing these silly games?? Why can’t they just argue organically??
Angie clearly doesn’t understand.
Nobody seems to want to fuck Seth, except Heather. I’m really disappointed that she hasn’t gone after Coach Shah yet. He’s all alone, the poor guy, and he’s so her type. And she owes Jen nothing.
So Lisa and Angie wander off alone. I realize these sunglasses are trendy right now, but it’s a little overkill. She, of course, tells her about the shit Meredith was saying.
******
So it’s pirate night, and Meredith’s pirate look is kind of lame. She refused to get in costume at the drag hotel as well, so I don’t really understand what is with these two, and why they’re so funny about this. It’s not that big of a fucking deal.
Okay, as if Monica asking Heather if her daughter is having sex at college wasn’t bad enough, she decides to ask each of then the last time is they had sex. This after the marry/fuck/kill convo at the beach. What is going on with these bitches? They seem to be needing to discuss sex. You know what they say about people that talk about it all of the time.
Meredith and Lisa immediately look deer in the headlights. Not sure if they are uncomfortable with the question, or don’t want to admit they haven’t banged their husbands in a while? I actually can’t picture any of these ladies having sex with their husbands, except maybe Whitney, and that’s becasuse I actually did see her having sex with her husband. Me and a million other people, including Justin’s employer. Now previous employer.
Angie said she had a quick quickie before the trip, but then she’s also said that her and Shawn don’t have sex at all, so I feel like they’re all feeling pressured, and just saying they fucked their husband before they left for the trip. I don’t think any of them fucked their husband before they left for the trip.
Heather is mad about being put on the spot since she’s single, so I’m assuming it’s been a while for her, or she’s banging rando’s, and doesn’t want to share. This turns into a whole big thing between her Monica, and they argue about who is more single??
Monica says she’s almost officially divorced so she could just go fuck somebody right now. I don’t think anybody doubts that Monica, you were fucking your brother-in-law while you were married so we’re all pretty sure you’re down to fuck whomever. Did Monica answer the question, by the way?
I’m confused about why Monica seemed insistent on picking a fight with Heather, who supposedly planned this whole fucking trip for her birthday?? When housewives ‘host‘ these getaways, I do sort of wonder if they really do make any of the plans, or have the idea, or if it’s all Bravo. I think it’s the latter.
Who really cares.
So anyway, Angie takes the awkward silence opportunity, after Heather and Monica are done bickering about who’s more single, to address Meredith and her accusations.
Now we’re playing the semantics game again, just like she did with Shawn being gay. She’s not the one making the initial claims, she just heard about the claims, and is repeating the claims.
Meredith just decides to deny the whole fucking thing. Honestly, if you own a bunch of businesses like Angie and her husband do, owing $170,000 to the IRS is not that big of a deal, and not really that much money.
I doubt if Angie’s doing the books, so she probably doesn’t even know. They may be on a payment plan, or disputing the fact that they owe. It doesn’t mean they’re doing sketchy business dealings. Now if it was millions of dollars, then that’s a different story.
Meredith looks basically uncomfortable and guilty, and she tries to deny the fact that she’s behind the sending of documents. It’s her similar expression to when she was being put on the spot as to why she suddenly was friends with Jen Shah.
She starts fidgeting, and touching her head. She’s not doing anything! She’s just living her best AirBNB life! Leave her alone!
Everyone’s jealous of her! Duh.
Lisa yells at her. Then she yells at ‘Crossman’ that she needs bread NOW!!!
