Salt Lake’s music score is so strange and eerie. I guess that’s how it’s supposed to come off. It IS Utah.
Lisa’s boasting to Meredith how she’s banned from a tanning salon because she had a fucking tantrum and screamed at a probably 20 year old girl making $10/hour, that told her they were about to close, and couldn’t get sprayed, is so fucking apalling.
Let’s face it, Monica is right about her, she’s just not going about it in the right way. The look of pure elation on her face is so gross. Meredith pretends to be amused but she also has to be thinking ‘wow what a wench.’
Meredith is so fucking bold, but instances like this, where she could tell it like it is, she laughs and agrees, just like she did with Jen Shah all last season. ‘Sure, I believe her…makes sense…’ She knew Jen was guilty AF.
Lisa drags this disgusting story out longer than what it needed to be. Does she not hear herself?
Meredith stands there gritting her teeth, pretending to be to amused. What if that was Chloe, and some entitled asshole like Lisa had a hissy pissy fit and started screaming at her? Would she still think it’s cute??
Whatever, they’re at some fucking skin care facial spa thing. I think Meredith is happy that Lisa’s skin graph is worse than hers.
I can’t believe Lisa is allowing Jack to go on this mission thing with the church. They can’t visit him, and he can’t come home for two entire years. That would be a cult. But, whatever. Not being able to get a spray tan, throws her into a tailspin, but this is fine with her. Priorities.
Whitney and Monica have a little date. Monica gives Whitney ‘pause’ she says, because of the way she was with Angie and Lisa on the trip.
Everyone is ordering burrata on Housewives suddenly it seems.
Okay, Whitney sit all the way down. Monica is simply doing her Housewife job, just like you do. Just like you followed Meredith around the bar in California chirping and yelping about why she didn’t dress in drag for the contest. As if it fucking matters to your life.
Monica makes excuses for the way she acted. Whitney warns her to be careful with Meredith. She told her she knows shit and did the very serious side eye weird Meredith thing. Meredith always looks like she’s fucking stroking out.
Where does Meredith get all of her info? She’s like Marge on Jersey with her ‘arsenal’ on everyone. Wait, what’s an arsenal again??
******
Justin has Whitney convinced that he couldn’t work at all for an entire year because of a ‘non-compete?’ She explains this in her yap as if she knows what the fuck she’s talking about.
It means, “Justin cannot work for one year.” No that’s not what it means, Whitney. Stick to what you know. And I don’t even know what she knows. Well, yes I do.
I thought that it meant you can’t work for a competitor and try to take customers from where you’re leaving. Since when can you not work at all, and in what world (well maybe China) can an ex-employer tell you that you ‘cannot work for a year?’ Unless they were still paying him his full salary? If that’s the case, than they must have really wanted rid of him. Friendly reminder why he lost his job in case you forgot:
She’s pissed he has a job again and now she has all of the responsibilities with their kids. Like does she want him to have a job or not? And how did they ‘manage’ before she caused him to lose his job by filming a sex scene? And, now she has two businesses? And why do we never see her ‘working?’
Justin is baffled as to why this is a surprise? Well that would be because of the camera dude, and Whitney wanting to make every time she lifts a finger, to be this huge dramatic event??
Can she try to be little bit relatable? There are a lot of women watching, that work full-time, mange households, and have kids. And she just had an entire year of Justin at home presumably, taking on a lot of the kid and house responsibilities. But she’s still whining.
Now they wonder “how does this work” with both of them working, even though he previously had a job, and she also had this skin care business, line whatever.
So ridiculous.
Bring back Lisa running in circles crying about wearing drag makeup. At least was real, even though it was real annoying, and not Whitney faking a dilemma.
******
Angie and her husband give off ‘trying too hard to look like they have a perfect life’ energy. And why aren’t we saying anything about this dog?
She fusses and fawns all over her twelve year old daughter who looks like she wants her to go the hell away and leave her alone.
“He would like more intimacy.” Translation: ‘We haven’t had sex in ten years.’ Using the poor kid as an excuse. Like how busy is she, taking care of ONE 12 year old child??? And having one kid doesn’t even count !!
******
Heather has a ski day with her two youngest, and apparently there’s some bullying and picking on happening, due to Heather’s anti-Mormon book.
I don’t know if I would put snow in my drink, unless it was total fresh snow I just watched fall.
So these high school kids are really THAT concerned about being Mormon, that they would shun and shove kids around whose parents chose to leave? Seems like teenagers should have more teenagery things to worry about. Totally doesn’t sound like a cult. Doesn’t sound like they’re brainwashed one bit.
******
Lisa is preparing for her event. I agree with her yap lecture, that so what, she likes nice shit and can afford it. She’s worked hard, and this is the reward.
It’s crepe party and I love me some crepes! I might have another recipe inspo!
Lisa’s spray tan looks a little orange. She looks like an oopma loompa. The whole spray tan community probably hates her and did it on purpose.
Heather was a missionary in the South of France?? I mean, I guess if you’re going to be a cult promoter, the South of France would be the place to do it! I think she just wanted to say ‘South of France’ however, don’t think you need to be in France to learn how to pop a champagne cork.
Also that seems like an odd place to try to plug a weird conservative religious cult. Isn’t South of France like a walk around topless, anything goes, type of area? But what the hell do I know. Maybe that’s the point.
Everyone arrives, and all of the shrieky “Hi’s OhmiGod you look so cute!!” are being exchanged.
Well that’s over, and now the other shrieking starts as Lisa and Monica attempt to have a civil convo that lasts about ten seconds, before it goes south and they start having the ‘materialistic’ argument again.
Monica tell us you’re jealous without telling us you’re jealous. I guess start a tequila company of your own? What does she want from Lisa at this point?
Hasn’t she been trying to suck up to Mary?? And Mary is one hundred percent materialistic and shallow. I mean, she married her dead grandmother’s husband, so she could have ‘stuff.’
She robs her cult members of large sums of money so she can buy STUFF. If you’re going to call out Lisa, don’t ya gotta do it with everyone? Don’t hang out with a bunch of rich bitches if you’re poor. Like what does she want Lisa to tell her? It’s getting weird.
So Monica yap-shares that she’s still harboring resentment about Lisa supposedly bragging about getting on a private jet with Snoop Dog, when she was Jen’s assistant. Monica carries this plate around with this huge elaborate crepe on it, while bitching at Lisa. I kept thinking it was going to end up in Lisa’s face.
Mary arrives, and Meredith promptly starts gushing over what she’s wearing, and I think it’s QUITE ugly. For some reason she wraps the huge puffy coat around her waist, making it look more ridiculous. It was funny when it got in the food. Oh and by the way, I saw on a FaceBook post, I didn’t verify it, but her church/cult is currently closed.
Monica and Lisa do, Thank God, drop this whatever they’re fighting about. Monica being jealous, basically.
Monica sits by Mary, whose not gotten any food, and digs into her huge ass raspberry chocolate crepe. Mary does not approve.
“Every time I see you, you’re eating. Don’t you care what you eat? Do you eat vegetables? Don’t you care about how you look?”
She is completely unfazed by this. Being weight shamed is okay, but Lisa wasn’t allowed to be upset about losing an expensive ring.
Monica praises Mary in her yap how she’s unapologetically herself. Well isn’t Lisa also unapologetically herself?
Why a different set of rules? Not sure why she’s sucking up to Mary so hard. No one sucks up to Mary.
Whitney wants nothing to do with Meredith vs Angie, but feels the absolute need to approach Angie about the rumor that she claims to know nothing about.
Not another gay Househusband. At least it’s not me this time, with the accusation. I mean, I did, of course have a little eyebrow raise over the hair dresser thing, not going to lie. But that seemed kind of narrow-minded thinking, so I kept it to myself.
It’s weird to me that Monica says it’s a rumor that’s out there, so why is Meredith getting blamed for merely hearing it, and mentioning it, just as Monica had?
Mary randomly asks Heather ‘what made her wear that necklace?’ She has a whole host of reasons why she chose it. Meredith looks away, because again why would she speak up about such blatant disrespect that her friend is displaying?
It’s like Mary’s sole purpose as the ‘friend of Meredith’ is to walk around and be cunty to everyone. Cool. And this is who Monica is choosing to cozy up to.
Aren’t they hot in these heavy coats?
Whitney couldn’t wait for her moment. She and Monica approach Angie and tell her this rumor that Meredith will be getting blamed for, even though she was vague and just said she “knows about the husband.” Sounds very Kim Richards about Harry Hamlin.
True to Housewife form, Whitney says they’re “nipping it in the butt.”
Monica doesn’t sugar coat. “The rumor is Sean likes to fuck other men.”
Now Whitney removes her coat.
