Almost don’t even want to recap this Whitney Rose comedy show.
That’s what it was, a comedy show, staged as a drama, staged as a reality show.
Whitney is blacked out, I think, or Whitney is playing for the cameras. Whitney is fake arguing about an incident in which she and Heather were both shitfaced, by the sounds of it. Okay girl ya got the first chair. Can we stop now??
She keeps insisting Heather is “a liarrrrr!!” and is like a dog with a bone with this.
She is super concerned, despite her extreme newly discovered trauma, about Lisa giving blowies for court side B ball. She poured herself a fresh glass of wine which is a splendid idea, even though I really do like that wine. (Whispering Angel Rose – so good)
Now she’s doing some sort of hyperventilating and crying event with Meredith. I feel like we have a calmer gentler Meredith this season.
And as SJP would say, “just like that” we’re back to the childhood trauma. She cries to Meredith that Heather never asks her how she was doing.
In her yap, she really wants a pity party for being everyone’s door mat and “not setting boundaries.”
I never really saw Whitney as someone that got walked all over and people took advantage of? Hasn’t she always spoke her mind and stood up for herself?
Meredith continues to console Whitney at the dinner table, where we never got to dinner, because housewives NEED to start this shit before the food is served. They can’t wait til after. They can’t.
Jen is consoling Heather in the bedroom.
Whitney’s yap does not make any sense about Heather not being there, for her in her “darkest hour.”
Maybe the reason Heather is not “there for her” right now, is because she started a ruckus that Heather pleaded for her not to start on this trip, then she proceeded to scream at her for being a liar over difference of opinions, as to what was heard and not heard, a month ago when they were drunk.
No one can put clothes on I guess.
Whitney is banging on the table with tongs and seems to be looking at the camera and trying not to smile, as she’s pretending to be devastated as she claims she’s SO mad!!
I kept noticing her looking at the cameras last season too.
She switches gears from being pissed at Heather for being this raging liar, about something that she made up, to her abuse trauma in a split second.
She starts having a weird tantrum about how everyone walks all over here, slamming utensils on the table, looks at camera, as she’s trying to simultaneously sob over this trauma event, and Heather lying about Lisa’s kinky sexcapades.
So I’m just going to leave this here. You’re going to be seeing me calling bullshit on this child abuse and ‘blocking out eight year’ , the whole season I predict, if this keeps up. Unless she produces some actual info.
Whitney needs to try to be a little smoother. Is she watching too much Lisa Rinna?
Heather makes the very bad decision of coming back to the table, and trying to reason with this very drunk very confusing and off kilter woman. Whitney wants to call Angie to verify the B-ball convo about Lisa. Of course that’s a bad idea.
Heather doesn’t care who is fucking who, she just wanted to eat, drink and be merry, and celebrate the fact that Jen is a fucking criminal, and they’re all pretending that she isn’t.
Oopsie, Whitney forgot how traumatized she is, so now we’re back to who Lisa is boning.
Whitney points out how Heather was loaded that night. Well there you go, guess we just resolved the big fucking mystery, Nancy!
Heather doesn’t remember Angie telling her Lisa is fucking dudes for fun favors. And I’m pretty sure Whitney was toasty, so it’s fuzzy for her too. Nancy Drew-ing not needed. And Whitney is too drunk to realize, that Heather being too drunk to recall a conversation at the basketball game, solves the mystery of the disagreement.
One would think it would end there. One would think.
So when Whitney gets all up in Heather’s face and points out “you were loaded that night!!!” Heather yells, “how the fuck does that hold me accountable?” She then shoves her into the blinds, and I wasn’t mad at that.
I guess Lisa wasn’t hearing any of this? She thanks Heather for being there for her.
Whitney charges into her bedroom, ass still hanging out. Her work here is done. We don’t know what her work is, but I guess she feels accomplished.
Confusing scene where Jen exploits her makeup artist as a twerking instructor. Crystal Pussy? Guess that’s her stage name.
This is right up Whitney’s alley, she’s gonna be so pissed that she missed this. She got too shitfaced to stay coherent, and pretended that she’s mad at Heather, and ‘traumatized’ so she called it a night. I’m not upset.
Jen’s got that megaphone again. This chick is quite blessed in the twerking section of her body, and well that’s some jiggly twerking.
Next morning Heather wakes in a sea of Milk Duds in her bed, and realizes that Whitney has drunkenly ripped up some note and threw it all over her room. Mature. And lucky for us, this was all caught on camera.
They play the scene of her doing this very sneaky and revengeful deed, while staring right into the camera.
Maybe Whitney should go into acting. To have the wherewithal to get up in the middle of the night, still in her negligee outfit of course, when supposedly shitfaced, and proceed to rip up a note to further prove your disdain towards your friend, like a middle schooler, while staring right at the camera. She looks like she stepped out of a horror movie.
And was she still mic’d will sleeping?
That’s some good shit. Not really reality TV, because she’s faking all of this, but perhaps some good B or C- list Lifetime movie?
I don’t know what else to say about this Whitney thing and the way she is acting. I have a feeling I’m going to start sounding really repetitive, which I hate, but they keep doing the same fucking shit.
So if you thought she would wake up all chill, and laughing about what an idiot she was, you would be wrong. She wakes up all intense and acting like their argument was super serious, and meaningful, and made any sense whatsoever.
But that would be too normal. She tells Jen that she feels “completely betrayed.” This is a lot like her ‘in the middle/ Nancy Drew’ moment the previous night, that also made no sense.
How is Heather betraying her by saying, I don’t recall that convo? She’s not saying she doesn’t believe her, she’s just saying she wasn’t involved in the convo, or was too intoxicated to remember, or care.
I don’t know why Lisa Barlow’s sex life is such a huge concern for her right now, in the midst of you know, this realization that she was ‘used and abused’ between the ages of 8 and 17. Also, can I just add, kind of hypocritical since she was fucking around with Justin, giving him blowies under his desk, while married, and he was married. So I think girlfriend should sit down and shut it.
Again she goes back and forth from this and this ‘trauma’ like every two seconds. Meredith is jumping on this childhood trauma bandwagon because I assume she thinks she has to. I think her ‘story line’ is going to be going along with everyone’s ‘story line.’
Heather is honestly one of the most loyal friends you could ever find, judging by the way she has been coming off on the show.
So I see why we came to Scottsdale for this little getaway, this is where her half brother and sister live that have also experienced this trauma, that we don’t know what it is, or who did it, because it seems like she wants to continue to dangle it.
Jen is flying to New York for this ‘trial prep’ for a trial that we know never happened, because she finally woke up one day and said “oh yeah, I was taking money from people and offering no services, I just remembered, sorry I blocked it out, I was too busy shopping every day.”
Heather wanted the trip to be about Jen.
I’m not sure I’m excited about that rationale, because you know she’s guilty as fuck, also Whitney is doing double ‘first chair’ duty and it’s already annoying, like three eps in.
So I assume she’s still not talking to her dad. As she was not last season. Last season, it was over him acting like an ass while watching her kids, and if I remember correctly, taking advantage of her and Justin’s kindness, while he was getting back on his feet. I believe he was living with them, until she threw his ass out.
Now it seems like she’s not even mentioning him at all, leading us to believe that he was the abuser?
I’m confused about her saying she hasn’t seen this brother in a while, because I’m pretty sure he was on just last season, discussing how she was pissed at her dad. So if this is the only brother, I’m kind of confused. She just mentioned her dad and mom having “me and my sister” indicating there is no other brother. Maybe it’s another brother to a different mom?
Okay so here are, with her talking to this half brother and sister about a gaping wound, and she’s acting like she barely even knows these people. They seem nice and accepting of her, and share their stories, sort of. It’s still very vague.
So she mentions this Will, that she’s been talking to them about various memories, that’s who I was thinking of. She has realized she had been “manipulated, used and abused.”
She says in her yap that while their trauma is different, (so that sort of widens the gap) they share the same feelings of being let down by “this person that we all knew that we should have been able to trust.” Which indicates maybe it wasn’t their dad?? Or was it?
It’s hard to decipher what they’re talking about when we don’t know what is going on and what Whitney is talking about…
She talks in her yap about “letting go…” whatever Whitney. God love ya Justin, she’s a lot.
So they’re eating breakfast at 2:30 pm.
Lisa: “after talking to John, and having a burrito and Kit Kats I felt better.” I don’t get a woman in her late 40’s with such a terrible diet, and doesn’t exercise, and is so flipping skinny. I thought this would be me in my mature years, but no, I have to watch what I eat now and exercise, after making it through to my mid – 30’s and never having to worry. I guess I had a pretty good run. Whatever. I like Kit Kats too. When do I ever eat them ? Never. Well hardly ever. Maybe at Halloween.
This weather looks terrible there but I guess this is their “winter.”
So Jen is going to NY for a ‘mock trial?’ I guess so she can practice her lying skills, with a straight face? Don’t touch fidget and touch your face, don’t look down while lying, don’t OVER act in an effort to look more credible, like Housewives tend to do… that type of thing.
She claims the last mock trial they did for the prosecution, she got up and walked out twice, having to sit there and listen to all of these ‘lies.’ Maybe this one should go into acting too. Because damned if you don’t believe her, as she’s maintaining this innocence. And these women just sit here and buy all of her stories, and laugh at all of her jokes about it. I catch looks on Meredith where I think she’s thinking that she knows that Jen is completely full of shit.
Her attorney tells her to not get botox so her face shows some emotion, and her face moves. They all think that is hilarious. You cannot make this shit up.
She assures them she “has no issue testifying, I think it just depends, she’s not sure…” No way they were planning on having her testify.
No one seems to be asking the tough questions, like if you weren’t ripping people off, then what exactly WERE you doing? And why would all of your staff be testifying against you and taking plea deals?
Whitney returns and is still sticking with this “I’m soooo mad at Heather!!” act.
The girls all help her pack Jen of her fake hair, and she’s off for her ‘mock trial’ as she plays ‘mock innocent.’
Meredith and Lisa hug a very emotional looking hug, and it seems as if for now this little feud thing is over.
Which has now been replaced by Whitney and Heather at each other’s throats.
More group hugging, and talk of putting things into perspective, based on what Jen “is going through.” I’m not sure where this soft spot and complete ignorance, suddenly came from in regards to Jen, but they are really selling it.
With the departure of Mary and Jennie, wonder why they didn’t replace them with that Angie chick or that other one from last year that looked just like Angie. It’s weird to only have five when they show them holding their whatever in the intro. I seriously don’t know. I’m always getting organized when the intro’s are on. Are they holding a salt shaker?
Beverly Hills had like 12 Housewives.
They’re out on the town, it’s still raining, and Meredith wants to pick one meaningful word for them all to toast to.
Whitney says ‘honesty.’
Okay so isn’t this like awkward for Lisa, (or does she not realize it?) that their fake argument is over her banging random dudes for favors and tequila sales? And whether or not Heather was privy to the initial convo disclosing the gossip? Which is completely irrelevant. To anything. She doesn’t remember. So what. Move on. No one cares about your contrived strife Whitney. Drink another bottle of wine and pass out. Please.
Whitney in her yap – “this isn’t over and we’re going there, I know that I’m, not lying.” Except Heather never said she was lying, she said she doesn’t recall. Those are different.
Whitney is trying to look quite intense about her phony argument with Heather.
Heather uses the restroom, and they ask Whitney how she’s feeling about things with Heather after last night?
More Whitneyisms about how she needed Heather in that moment… (to corrab her story, about Lisa’s infidelity, as Lisa is sitting right there…)
She claims that she’s really hurt and it shocked her that she needed her in that moment, and she was speaking the truth, and she didn’t back her up but called her a liar. Lisa looks like she may be wondering if this has to do with her?
In her yap, “that crushed her and she’s the one person that I never thought would do that to me” now the quick segue into her whatever trauma, and “Heather knows what I’m going through, being hurt used and taken advantage of.”
So Heather Gay, just agree with this phony bitch, and say “yes now I do recall the conversation” in the interest of her fake trauma family thing and shutting her up. We’re bored.
Why won’t anyone here point out that she didn’t call Heather a liar. I guess same reason no one will point out that Jen Shah is lying about her innocence.
Whitney repeats this shit she just told Meredith and Lisa. ‘tough moment, needed her…’ Heather: what exactly was the ‘tough moment’ just to corroborate your story ? Why is she so desperate for someone to corroborate this Lisa gossip?
Whitney: “we have had many conversations about Lisa.” Heather: “not about BJ’s for courtside seats, not ever.
Okay Lisa now looks irritated, as she should. Should this argument be taking place right in front of her? I guess there’s really no choice when there are only five cast members.
Why does Whitney keep saying “she needed her?”
Heather again references Lisa’s BJ’s for B Ball. Lisa has finally had it, I’m surprised it took this long and says “can we please stop saying that, that’s upsetting!” I mean, AWK-WARD to say the least.
Heather points out that the first night it was about her and her (fake) abuse, and the second night was about Lisa and you know the drill.
Heather said just what Whitney wanted her to, to make it seem like she’s minimizing this whatever the fuck thing she’s talking about that no one knows. So NOW this is her newest thing.
Meredith tries to talk to Whitney like an educated grown up and basically says what I’ve been saying, you’re making no fucking sense. She took the long way around, but that is what she said.
Whitney sort of goes on a ‘triggering’ tangent of how this was so hurtful, she has no voice, taken advantage of …. only she doesn’t say “trigger” which is beyond unbelievable.
This is a little too much dramatic background music for this nonsensical argument. This isn’t Law & Order for chrissakes.
Lisa in her yap is unbelievably taking Whitney’s side in this, who is the one sitting here making this rumor about her fucking around her story line.
Heather did push her into the wall, however she didn’t call her a liar. Whitney mumbles more fucking mumbo jumbo trying to justify this.
They decide to drop it and vow to have a fun rest of the evening. Do we think Whitney is capable of doing that, and having the cameras not in her face for ten minutes?? I’m kind of doubting it.
Back at the house, we’re unwinding in jammies, and discussing Jen, and the trial and what her whole nonchalant demeanor seems to be about the impeding trial and possible conviction.
Meredith, if you really look, when they zoom on her, I believe, due to the fact that I’m now a self-proclaimed body language and facial expression expert from watching Housewives, she looks like she knows she’s guilty AF, and is just choosing to keep quiet and let them all sound stupid.
“Is it bad that she’s the last one left, and is she still eligible to make a plea deal? Lisa asks Meredith, who is/was an attorney? is that BAD??
Everyone involved has admitted guilt, and she was the ‘brains’ behind the operation, and she’s still insisting on maintaining that she’s innocent. Makes her look kind of in denial.
They talk about Stuart, this assistant of hers, that Jen tried to say last year wasn’t really a friend, assistant nor employee, as they flashed on several scenes of them interacting as her friend, assistant and employee. She pretty much lost her credibility right then and there.
“Do you think Stuart is gonna testify against her?” Heather asks. Meredith explains that Stuart plead to an additional charge. Lisa asks how she knows this.
Meredith: “I read it in the news.” Imagine that, she must be some kind of sleuth.
“With a guilty plea you could get less time for taking ownership of what you did.” Which everyone knew I thought. Duh. Whitney just shut up, isn’t there a pole somewhere?
She literally asks Meredith if Stuart’s guilty admission is a good thing for Jen? How in the fucking fuck does that bode well for Jen, that her assistant plead guilty and ratted her out? Why would someone plead guilty when they’re not guilty?? And how could he be guilty without Jen also being guilty?? Jen clearly IS “compartmentalizing” and is in complete denial here that she is going to walk away from all of this scot free.
“He’s definitely not on her side.” Again, duhh. Don’t think you need to have stepped a foot into a law class to know this.
Wasn’t there this whole big thing last season on how smart Whitney was, when she did sound smart for one minute? One minute. I think she explained something having to do with Jen’s sketchy business situation. Maybe because her and Justin are doing the same thing?
Heather: “Can you imagine Jen having to sit there and listen to Stuart plead guilty to things that Jen is innocent of?” Heather. Stop drinking the Jen Shah Kool-aid and listen to yourself.
Meredith says she can’t fathom that Jen doesn’t have a good defense if she’s taking this whole thing to trail. Well fathom it Meredith. Fathom it. That’s another question they could be asking her, what’s her defense? Yet they’re not. They’re just offering her free trips and gifts to ‘cheer her up.’
She plead guilty in July. In the preview we see that they extended the trial until July. What a circus that trial would have been. Guess her attorneys talked some sense into her. They were like, “woman just hang it up.”
Meredith shares some stats in her yap about the NY district conviction rate being extremely high.
Whitney very child like- “I wish she was here, I miss her.”
Okay Whitney, when she WAS there you, screamed and cried in a drunken stuper about nothing, so all eyes were on you, and barely acknowledged her, but okay.
