Finale!! So we kick off with Heather touring the venue for her book debut party. I could be wrong, but it almost sort of sounds like or seems as if she’s actually writing the book herself. Which no one ever does, especially Bravo people, on these tell-all books. I kind of feel like Heather Gay is smarter than the average Housewife.
What in the what is Justin wearing in this scene? Dude needs to STOP having Whitney lay out his outfits. I’m sure she was responsible for having him look idiotic when she was on WWHL a few months ago. Gucci hat, Gucci sweatshirt. He looked ridiculous. Does he not know he’s a 55 year old chubby dude? He needs to dress accordingly. You’re not a millennial, Justin because you’re married to one. Looks like Whitney got him this nightmare at a surfer shop in California.
He gives Whitney props for supporting Heather by auditioning for her choir, and attending the book event. Tell me again what horrible thing Heather did to Whitney. Oh, doesn’t recall a drunken convo six months prior. Well there you go ! Kudos to you Miss Whitney for STILL supporting your BFF and cousin after such a fucking travesty! Heather what kind of fucking friend are you?
Justin goes along with whatever the fuck Whitney says. While wearing his stupid tie dye sweatshirt.
Heather got a little rough with her at the garbage whore party, but so what, she deserved it. Don’t act like a twat then.
So this event is being booked as ‘Heather’s Book & Choir Party.’ A typical Housewife event with an odd title. We haven’t really heard that much about the infamous choir since the try out day. Guess we’re going to see how well the choiring is tonight. My expectations are kind of low, I must say.
The party-goers are beginning to arrive. Did you all notice that when Angie K arrived, her little name tag thing on the screen said ‘Jen’s former friend?’ So she’s officially a ‘former’ friend? I wonder if that was as of like, now, or when this dcene was filmed? I would say she asked for it to read this way in light of the current circumstances? Thought they all sort of fake kissed and made up when poor Coach has to pony up 13g for an overly extravagant party he didn’t even want?? So his criminal wife could feel important?
Lisa enters as if everyone was waiting for her arrival. I predict she will be the next book writer.
Heather’s eye seems to be completely healed and it’s only been probably a week max in real time.
Are black eyes gone within a week?
Still we got nothing on the perp. I saw on Twitter that she ran into a door while drunk that night, and chose to use it as her thing for the remainder of the season. I’m assuming this will all be divulged at the reunion?
Was everyone ordered to wear black? Angie H is the only one not in black. ‘The cousins’ arrive, none of them are in black so I guess not. It’s sad that her mom didn’t attend.
So now I get the ‘former friend’ title. Angie K shares with Whitney and Lisa that Jen is telling people that she was responsible for the shiner. Maybe this was the straw that broke the camel’s back with her. Would she do that? I guess you can’t put anything past her at this point.
Is Angie wearing one of those breast plate things like Meredith was last season, that looked like a cartoon super hero chest? Maybe this is a slightly more upscale one? Her dress is very Utah. God, these women need stylists.
So Angie is understandably upset about this, and yadda yadda yadda whatever. I’m sure you were all predicting how this convo was going to go.
Angie’s black eye theory is that they were doing ‘Barbie scissor kicks’ which I have to admit is an expression that I have never heard ? Anyone else? Apparently it means they were having a little sexy time romp, and things got somewhat out of hand, and that’s how she ended up punched in the face.
Jen arrives – in black. Coach by her side even though he had to have by this point, knew she was guilty of the accusations and she was indeed the engineer behind the scams. Whatever, I’m like a broken record I feel like with some of this s hit. I just can’t believe he’s sticking by her like this.
But then again didn’t Teresa on Jersey, and I know we’re talking about completely different people and personalities of Coach and Teresa, but just saying. Teresa was all ‘stand by your man’ with Joe, even after SHE did a year in the slammer for shit he was just having her sign. But after he did his three years, and got out, she was like, yeah, no. I’m out.
You could see maybe Coach trying to and wanting to stand by Jen, but should he? Should he wait the six years til she gets released ? Even if she only ends up doing half of that, (which is my prediction) it’s still three years of his life to sit and wait on a woman that stole from elderly people, including her own mom, and lied about her innocence. Why would he do that?
Angie H and elf man congregate with Coach and Jen, and he’s being all weepy and regretful with them and basically groveling and begging for forgiveness, and it’s just so over the top dramatic. He’s clearly intimidated by Sharrieff. Pretty sure he could smush him into a wall without breaking a sweat.
This Insta page he started didn’t even have anything on it about Jen. I’m assuming he called it ShahXposed to hopefully get traffic with all of the Jen controversy? I don’t know. He gets all choked up about it, like he’s going to fucking cry or whatever. What’s with these Salt Lake guys? They’re a bunch of fucking pussies.
He’s sad probably because he looks like a yard gnome and he’s scared shitless of Coach Shah. The glasses and the beige suit aren’t really doing him any favors either.
Angie intervenes and talks on his behalf, since he’s like crying, and assures them that “it wasn’t personal.” Who else wants to just puke over Jen standing here all holier than thou, holding someone accountable for some gossip insta page, when she knows what she has been doing to innocent people for the past twenty fucking years?
That was over the top cringy.
Well the choir gets going and I think I speak for you all when I say, I wish they hadn’t. And why sing Amazing Grace? Isn’t that song usually sung at funerals?? Is it weird they’re singing Amazing Grace or not really? I guess it doesn’t matter.
Heather unveils the book cover. There are no books available for purchase at the event.
‘Bad Mormon’ This COULD be one Housewife book I might want to read.
So I guess the book wasn’t officially out when she had this little soiree. The ladies are being dicks in their yaps about it, as if, they’re dying to read it or something.
And no Lisa, it is NOT the same as having a Veda Tequila party with no tequila. Really doubt if anyone was going to sit down and start reading the stupid book at the event. Why can’t these bitches ever be happy for each other, and stop the mud slinging for two seconds? Christ they’re all going to end up with ulcers! STFU, chill the fuck out, eat your free food, and guzzle your free alcohol! What’s not relaxing about that? You’ll get to buy the book, calm down.
So tired of these women just looking for every excuse to find fault in whatever the other does, or doesn’t do.
Heather refers to the cover as “sacrilegious and terribly offensive.” Is it? I guess you have to be Mormon to get the ‘oh so serious’ drama of that statement. It’s like she’s Whitney and is half naked on the cover. I don’t get why Heather doesn’t all together ditch this shit, like Whitney did. Like if you’re writing a whole damned book about how awful this (cult) is, why would you want to identify with any part of it at all?
No Lisa please do not ‘write a book.’ I can’t even fathom how irritating that would be listening to her talk about how special and important she is.
Whitney and Jen talk, and Whitney says she felt ‘ganged up on’ in San Diego. Whitney needed to somehow make this night about her. Why does she even care. Jen’s headed to jail, Whitney. Don’t you have a sex scene to film or something? Or maybe hang upside down in a skirt again? Someone else will have to do the honors of filling your vagina up with cheap wine though. Jen will be busy making license plates. Is that still a thing?
Angie K with Danna as back-up, decide to confront Jen now about the black eye thing we’re so sick of hearing about, while Whitney is whining about nothing. So maybe this is a good thing. Angie keeps trying to interrupt Jen consoling Whitney about nothing. So yeah, second thought, let’s talk about the black eye.
So Angie doesn’t bother waiting for her turn, and blurts it out to Jen. We don’t have all night.
“You are going around spreading rumors that I gave Heather a black eye.”
“That is a lie, I never said that.”
I could see her saying that. Maybe as a half-joke kind of thing.
Jen summons poor Sharrieff over to deal with this shit. So she apparently has clueless Sharrieff convinced she really wanted to kill herself.
Since this is the finale, they do the individual updates, but they’re halfway through the episode instead of at the end. Which we later see is because the entire second half is solely devoted to Jen’s trial, or lack thereof, and guilty plea. Bravo trying to mess with us a little here. Was anyone else like, “what is happening ? Is it over?”
They fast forward to three months later, Jen’s trial date is finally here. This woman was in some serious denial on crack, to go through all of the motions of acting like she really thought when this trial happened, that she was going to win.
Such a troublesome scene between Jen and her mom, when you know her poor mom really did believe, or really wanted to believe, that she was innocent.
Mom: “You’ll be innocent, you know that, right?”
Jen: deer in headlights look, then starts fake crying about her dad. Guess that’s one way to get around the question. Divert her mom’s attention to her dead husband. Classy.
Now her ‘culture’ for some reason has something to do with this. Do Hawaiins and Tongans tend to steal from old people and lie? How is this relevant? Are they kind of insulting people of their heritage? Maybe she should be shipped back to Tonga to serve her sentence surviving in the rain forest. And why in her statement to the judge, if you’ve seen that floating around online, does she refer to herslef as an ‘immigrant?’ Wasn’t she born in Hawaii? Hasn’t Hawaii been part of the US for like 200 years??
They flash to the disgraceful scene of last year when Jen was thanking her poor mom for cashing in, and selling all of her net worth for Jen’s defense.
She of course checks into a bougie ass hotel in New York. Nothing is too good for Jen the Shyster Shah.
Meredith and Heather have also made the trip for moral support. Still cannot wrap my head around Meredith being so Team Jen. Can’t. Production must have told her to, for whatever reason. Maybe a raise.
She and Heather have a somber hug in Heather’s room. Would you really want your friends there if you were Jen? When you know you’re guilty AF? Whatever – they probably just wanted a free trip to The City. I wonder if Meredith is going to look up any of her buddies? Half of New York? Or maybe just a quarter is available LOL!! Hahahaaa I’m laughing at my own joke!
Is it weird how supportive they are of her? Would you be supportive of your friend if you knew she did what Jen has been doing? They show a scene of Jen asking Heather to check on Sharrieff and her sons. Okay there Jen. Think about what you’re saying. You REALLY want Heather to check on your husband? Who is single, horny and likes black guys?? Can’t wait for this to play out!!
I’m so over the looks on their faces as they convene over this. Their expressions remind me of someone being really sick, or possibly dying, and how family and friends would console each other. Jen’s not sick. (other than some mental illnesses such as spending addiction, narcissism, compulsive lying…) She’s a fucking criminal who made her own fucking bed.
Should Jen have thought of her sons before she decided to undertake a ‘business’ of scamming?
I’m really sick of hearing about how concerned she is about her fucking kids to be honest. They’re not toddlers or grade schoolers. One is a grown ass man, in medical school or applying to medical school, we’re not sure, and the other is pushing 18 and is completely capable of processing and understanding what their fucking mother was doing. If they were children, this convo would be applicable. But since they’re not, it’s not.
Wouldn’t you be pissed if you were them, and seemingly getting used for added sympathy? Your own children??? For something you did, in fact do?
And Sharreiff playing the God card is also getting unbearable. So the God that you pray to, Sharrieff, is looking out for liars, thieves and criminals?? Cool. Not surprised.
Heather, Seth and Meredith meet at a bougie outdoor spot for lunch.
Did you ever notice how Meredith walks with a fucking stick up her ass.
Heather orders a mojito, “but not frozen.” Since when are mojitos frozen?? That waiter probably thought she was an idiot. She should have clarified she’s from Utah.
Sharrieff being an attorney is like the icing on the cake of this whole thing. I think that was pointed out earlier, but I forgot.
They’re so distraught about Jen, so they’re out having $20 cocktails (non-frozen) and oysters.
Meredith: “Nobody is disputing that the scheme happened, the question is, did Jen have knowledge of what was going on?”
Meredith, girl, she was the owner of the business. This playing dumb act is getting really really old. Isn’t she embarrassed. I am embarrassed for her, that she just sat here and uttered that. She’s totally dumbing herself down for this craziness. She sounds like Whitney.
I do like her look here though. Whatever she did or didn’t do, she needs to keep doing, or not doing. Her face looks really natural and pretty, and not weird. She also doesn’t look like Caitlin Jenner.
Seth wants to know if they have point blank asked Jen if she’s guilty of the charges.
No, they haven’t. Can we please stop saying, “God forbid if she is found guilty.” They all sound like a bunch of insane re-re’s
There is no ‘God forbid.’ God is not forbidding a guilty as fuck, lying narcissistic scammer to be deemed guilty of stealing money from people.
Actually, God is getting pissed OFF that you all keep bringing him into her messy bullshit and lies.
Anyway, what Seth was asking, is if they’d still be ‘ride or die’ friends if she’s guilty? Well Meredith was never actually her friend at all, until this season, when it became completely obvi that she’s guilty, so that’s a strange question to be directed at Meredith. But, that doesn’t seem to stop her from answering it.
Meredith voice: “If in fact, Jen is proclaiming her innocence when she is really guilty, and not taking accountability, that’s a really big problem for me.”
Heather’s answer is gibberish. What does Meredith mean, that’s a big problem? What’s she going to do or say to her? Nothing.
Okay, moving on from this awkward lunch scene, and onto an awkward midnight snack scene with the ladies, and Jen bitching about Stuart, and bragging at how well she ‘took care of him.’ She put his kids through school, and made sure there was food on his table (with stolen dirty money) and he had the nerve to turn on her.
“Stuart is a piece of fucking shit.”
Death stare from Meredith. She knows Jen is lying.
You can tell Meredith is so not down with this, and is just playing the Bravo game by supposedly supporting Jen. She’s an attorney for chrissakes. She supports the fucking law. I know they don’t all, but I see Meredith as someone on the straight and narrow. Not someone who really wants to be in the corner of someone she knows is lying, and knows is guilty.
Whatever. These women would sell their souls to the devil for Bravo, I’m convinced.
“I wouldn’t be in this thing at all if it weren’t for Stuart. Stuart played me.” Yes she really is saying this.
They flash to that disturbing fucking banana scene. Again. Why?
“This is what was going on behind my back.”
As there are copies of emails and text messages all over the place right now, of Jen’s involvement, and even ridiculing the victims when they became upset at realizing they were scammed and out of thousands of dollars.
Behind her back my fucking ass.
Meredith goes into some karma fucking fucktard sounding nonsense just to fill the air. She really is selling her soul to Bravo.
Now for the official announcement of the guilty plea of ‘conspiracy to commit wire fraud.’ Who woulda saw that coming? Oh, anyone with a fucking brain in their head.
Jen and Lisa meet up back home to gossip about it. They ask each other if they’re okay?? Explain to me how this affects their life? Jen has never been a good friend to either one of them. Jen has not been a good friend to anyone. Why we’re feeling so much pity for her I don’t know. You get what you give.
‘Poor Omar’ gets brought into it again. Lisa keeps breaking into her weird ugly cry face episodes.
Heather is not mad about being made a complete fool of? That Jen sat there in New York in their $1000/night hotel, like three nights ago and put the whole thing on her assistant?
Heather’s theory is that Coach finally realized she was doing all that she was being accused of, and realized that there was no way out of this.
Her attorneys probably pulled her aside and said, “it ain’t lookin good girlfriend, if you just plead guilty, and own your shit, instead of going through the motions of this trial, and proclaiming your innocence, your sentence will probably be cut in half.”
Heather seems to think Coach knew all along what she was doing, and finally convinced her to plead guilty. I honestly don’t know what to make of that. I’ve always assumed Coach didn’t know what was going on. And didn’t want to know, most likely.
