“I don’t ride the fence, I am the fence. You ride me.” Really, Bravo people.
That had to be a test to see if Karen would actually accept that and be dumb enough to repeat it. She was.
Candiace gets some lasering done to her lady parts at Keiarna’s spa and wellness, hair removal whatever center. Wendy is also joining in on the lasering fun, and is asked about her talk show, which is her latest future failed project.
It sounds like there’s a lot of moving parts that are not nearly together, even though she’s trying to act like it’s all fine.
I can’t even fathom the annoying guests she would be interviewing. I can’t even fathom any network or station wanting to air this shit.
Other than Erika Girardi, Wendy Osefo is the most unlikable and unpleasant Housewife in the entire franchise, over the entire existence of the franchise.
She doesn’t want bothered with these pesky details such as the guests and logistics. She’s concerned about her hair, makeup and wardrobe. And there you have it folks. That’s what her focus is, on this so-called talk show. It’s really just the ‘look at Wendy’ show. Duh.
Shouldn’t she have thought about who she was going to have to ‘talk’ to on this talk show like, you know, before now? She’s acting like this is an afterthought.
This woman is unbelievable. She doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing, and she doesn’t even pretend like she does.
Why doesn’t she look into trying to model or something along those lines?
Can you even imagine how fucking annoying and irrelevant her selected guests would be. She’s finding individuals she is interested in are in LA, and local people are already committed to other shows or networks.
Keirana bitches at Wendy and Candiace for not checking on her in the D.R. when they knew that she was sick on the plane. I would have expected this dismissal of Wendy. They literally didn’t give a shit. No pun intended. They look sort of guilty.
Wendy’s so funny. She reassures her “we were VERY concerned about you.”
Thought she was going to have something to say to back it up. But, no, she doesn’t. She got nothin.’
So concerned you couldn’t even send her a text message or anything once you arrived at the hotel? Just say you didn’t give her a thought. Wouldn’t that be easier? Why do people lie? Just fucking say it. What are you so afraid of? Especially when people know what a terrible horrific being that you are.
Wendy was even heard saying she didn’t want to share a room with her, however she was ‘concerned.’
What a fucking bitch.
******
Grace is leaving for school in the dreaded land of Florida, where black people are shunned, and everyone is racist, according to the so fucking wise not-a-professor-anymore, Wendy Osefo.
I am kind of confused as to why she’s leaving already, when she just graduated, and it’s June.
Was this a bit of a simulation?? It didn’t seem like it, but nobody leaves for college in June, so whatever. I guess it’s not that important. Maybe it’s a Florida thing.
******
Robyn hosts a get-together with Ashley and part-timer Charisse. You know these ladies’ world is not your world, when Ashley has a child at home who just came down with the croup the previous night, and she’s sitting here in a dress, with her titties all out, drinking champagne and eating sushi.
I guess she has no need to be at home with her sick child, when there’s work to be done.
Whatever, I’m not judging. But if I were to judge, I would say ‘go the hell home to your kid, ho!!!!’ Croup is horrible, they sound like a 90 year old chain smoker.
They fill Charisse in on Karen’s inner thigh dilemma. You know, I guess if he’s free he could help me with my inner thighs too.
Charisse is going to host a crab boil. And just to be messy, as if crabs aren’t messy enough, she’s inviting Jacqueline, Mia’s ex-BFF.
Karen is still really weird with Charisse, because I think we’re all pretty sure at this point, Charisse has actual factual dirt on her. As opposed to made up, fabricated, projecting here say, and false allegations.
******
What is this vehicle of Gizelle’s? It’s weird.
She has a cookie date with Karen. I wish these two would stop trying to convince us that they’re friends.
And Gizelle’s dress she has on, I mean NO, just such a NO. Vertical stripes are not doing her body any favors, and it’s way too short. How does she even sit down in that without it all hanging out?
Ray is suddenly allergic to crabs, which is totally preventing Karen from accepting Charisse’s invitation, and it has nothing to do with the fact that Charisse knows Karen bangs dudes in public bathrooms.
What’s with Robyn and the prison stripes too?? Did she and Gizelle call each other? I don’t know who looks worse. Maybe Gizelle.
What is Wendy getting an award for? Being the most constipated Housewife in history?? (other than Erika)
Since I’m commenting on the attire, I don’t know what the hell Charisse was thinking either. Were they having a contest to see who could look the worst?
Jacqueline arrives, and she’s immediately talking shit on Mia. Mia arrives hearing the shit talking but pretends that she doesn’t.
The ladies bitch that the crabs aren’t seasoned. Yes, this was a pathetic looking crab boil. It was literally a CRAB BOIL. No sides and no seasoning. She had these creatures thrown in a big old pot, and tossed onto the table.
There are complaints all around, and as we know these ladies are never bashful about voicing them.
Mia and Jacqueline go to another floor to talk. This house has a weird set-up.
Mia is immediately defensive, and I’m pretty sure it’s because she feels embarrassed for giving Jacqueline such a hard time about some rough financial issues, and making her feel like trash, and now look at Mia. Her bougee job and ‘family business’ she bragged endlessly about is in the shitter.
Oh well, what comes around goes around. People that live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. The Lord works in mysterious ways. Karma came a knockin.’
Did I cover all of the clichés that are a nice way of saying don’t be a fucking twat to your friend?
And why does Mia lie about Gordon’s age? We know he’s old. We don’t care. I love these ‘age gap’ marriages. It seems like it’s cute in the beginning, then when the dude starts to reach actual old age, it’s now not cute. I guess these bitches don’t think of that.
Why marry a guy twenty years older? Do they just hope they die before they turn 60 or what??
Jacqueline looks confused as Mia acts like she doesn’t know how old Gordon is.
Mia pretends to cry.
In the end, they conclude that she treats Jacqueline shitty because of the occurrence when they were teens. Jacqueline left Mia alone with a guy that assaulted her.
I think it’s an excuse. I think she treats Jacqueline shitty because she’s a shitty person, and last season was more worried about impressing the Housewives, than she was about her lifelong best friend’s well being and friendship.
It’s sad she would resort to something as serious as this, to try to make Jacqueline feel bad, when she already does. They end the convo on a positive note. Jacqueline refuses to hug her. I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t hug that ho either after what she did to her.
Charisse decides she needs to bring up the Robyn and Candiace thing, then goes off the rails, and starts the table banging when they start bickering.
How many of those French thingys did she have?
She goes outside and gathers herself, comes back and apologizes. Candaice leaves.
Next week, looks like we have that Muppet thirsty weirdo from last season, having some sort of freak out.
I guess she was mad that no one’s husband was ‘hitting on her.’
