I’m literally kind of sick of Ashley in my face constantly. I am really. She’s becoming my Naomie of Southern Charm. Enough of her acting like such a gold digging ho every week. And for someone who’s divorcing her husband, because she’s not drinking, (that was one of her made up reasons) and he wants to still drink, she sure as FUUUUUCK reached for that wine bottle at Candaice’s pretty fucking fast. I mean, was she even sitting yet? Was it even offered yet?
Usually you wait for your hostess to offer it, and pour it for you. Dang girl. Calm down. I mean girlfriend stretched the whole way across the table to claim that sucker!
And why are we trying to make Ashley and Candiace happen? Yes on paper as Candiace pointed out, they should be friends. Same age, cute, pageant girls. Except Ashley is a messy little Ho. So it’s a no-go.
And what ELSE do they discuss but this stupid ‘leak’ about their separation. WHO CARES. She’s surrounded by production people all fucking day. This isn’t even worth discussing. she probably leaked it herself.
And really DOES she care that much? What does it even matter to her if it was rolled out in the press today, yesterday or next week? As if she cares they make a statement together or whatever the hell she was saying.
And I don’t wanna hear about this home buying nonsense having anything to do with it. Don’t try to commit mortgage fraud then!
Everyone is so intrigued about their living arrangement and Ashley is all to happy to satisfy their curiosity. Why is Candiace entertaining, literally entertaining, this chick, after that ‘DM’ drama that wasn’t even a DM? It was a public comment. It if was so shameful he wouldn’t have replied for everyone to see.
You all know full well she’s doing all of of this ‘Chris is flirting’’ drama as a payback for Candiace talking about Michael and his skeevy fucking antics.
Being a little flirtatious, is different than taking dudes, chicks, whatever, he was into that night, to a hotel room.
Ashley’s already hoin around, and picked up a hockey player. I do believe the Karen rumors that she has or had a beau. I just do. She tries too hard to convey this perfect marriage scenario and how into her husband she is. Code for an unhappy marriage, and possibly side dudes. Like just be real. That vow renewal last season was such a fucking show.
Good thing Mia got that ‘centerpiece.’ Looks like it came from the dollar store. I don’t know what she just said. I dozed off. There was the pussy popping line I heard was coming, so it was blah blah blah blah lymph nodes, pussy pop. Got it.
Mani/pedi time, this is where I turned it on Sunday when it was on. Poor Grace, her little sisters tower over her. It’s hard to be the bossy oldest sibling when your younger sisters are looking down at you I would imagine. Sweet 16 for the twins. I actually think it’s damned nice of Gizelle to be civil with Jamal the jackass after the way he humiliated her two years ago when they were supposedly trying to reconcile. I know Gizelle can be a little ehhehhhh, but I don’t know if I would be as understanding and nonchalant as she is about this dude. I know, it’s for the kids.
So I commend her, just not sure I would have it in me. I think Gizelle is looking freshened and happy this season.
Robyn is meeting with an attorney about this prenup she wants to get. Not sure why, not sure I’m foreseeing this remarriage take place. Juan isn’t even with her.
The attorney looks like she’s judging, when Robyn says they were broke when they got divorced so the prenup wasn’t necessary.
Robyn says there is a disparity in income, and wants her businesses excluded. She asks about clauses for infidelity. Attorney wants to know if this was an issue previously. This attorney thinks she’s a fucktard. Robyn is worried Juan isn’t going to approve of the infidelity clause. And we know he is not. He does not like being reminded of his infidelity. God forbid a narc would take ownership of his embarassing behavior.
Why when Bravo peeps get prenups, their visits to the attorneys always look like train wrecks. I guess I’m recalling Vanderpump mostly, with Katie and Tom went to an attorney for a prenup
(and we see how that turned out) when neither of them had fucking shit. They had to scrounge up the money to pay the fucking attorney to prepare the prenup. The attorneys were laughing their asses off.
Same with Scheana and Brock. Those two looked like fools sitting there signing the docs with the attorneys. Scheana had some random number of her cut of his business if they split up.
The attorneys were all exchanging glances as Scheana was babbling on and on.
Moving on to a tulip harvesting event with Karen, Ashley and Wendy. Looks chilly. Guess they didn’t think it was going to be colder and windier in a huge open field. Ashley isn’t dressed for the weather again, shocker.
Ashley immediately starts talking about Michael, and now she decides she doesn’t give two shits, and “could not care any less” about his snipping, when all the way back to last week’s episode, which was probably filmed like the day before this one, she was all in her feelings and choked up about it. Perfect example of her being disingenuous and not credible.
Wendy also in a low cut T and flimsy robe, with her titties all out. It’s so cold and windy and the ladies look completely miserable. I would be bitching up a fucking storm. But I also would have worn a warm coat and sweater, and not needed my boobs out during the day, when hanging with girls. But okay. I think it’s funny they’re freezing.
Now Robyn’s event and her non-invite to Wendy, and her kids, and I don’t care. Of course none of that made sense, do we really have to revisit it? Dear Production people: this is not interesting.
Let’s keep this flowing here. I’d rather listen to them bitch about being cold.
I’m in a bad mood and probably shouldn’t even be doing this now.
Wendy says she knows she’s condescending sometimes. She’s having some burn fucking thing, I guess like the Mean Girls Burn Book, I don’t know. Ashley tries to tell her to send Robyn and Gizelle separate invites for a reason no one gets. She keeps telling her she should do it and Wendy wants to just flick her into the tulips.
Wendy could not be dressed worse for this event. Her housecoat looks stupid, and provides no warmth whatsoever.
Why couldn’t someone with four degrees look at the weather and realize it’s going to be windier in a wide open field?? We don’t know. She still refuses to put the tits away a whole year later. Didn’t the novelty wear off yet? And that one confessional look. What is going on there?? Did Cameron do her makeup?
Candiace is having wine time with Chris and her sister. Her sister is pretending to drink from a mug by the way, for whatever reason. There is nothing in that mug.
She doesn’t know who this Trina is either. I sure did not.
Candiance gets the text from Wendy about her plan where I guess she’s going to admit she’s a condescending bitch.
So the text says this will be a “safe space” and “uninterrupted” fuck me, okay.
OH MY GOD WENDY STOP ANNOUNCING HOW BUSY YOU ARE AND LISTING ALL OF YOUR JOBS !! STOP !!!
And can Ashley pahhhlease stop with the fake sober bull fucking shit?? She’s not ‘sober!’ Again disingenuous AF, not credible.
Jesuscrist Wendy shut the fuck up about all of your responsibilities. Ashley doesn’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. She does NOTHING but make tiktoks ALL FUCKING DAY.
So we arrive at this stupid fucking thing. Wineries so not a good idea. Gizelle is bitching she’s hungry. Just like don’t show up in the cold half dressed, don’t show up to an event starving to death.
“It’s nice to know people support me, just not at the expense of the father of my children.”
Ashley, Please. Now all of a sudden he’s “the father of your children.” More like the loaded sperm donor of your children. I will laugh so hard if he’s actually broke, and buys her a 1200 SF bi level in Baltimore, gets child support that she can’t live on, and no settlement.
This is stupid. Candiace delivers some annoying speech telling her Wendy that she’s wonderful.
Mia tells her she’s dismissive. She seems okay hearing that. Mia thinks she’s desperate for friends. Could be true.
Robyn said they’re like oil and water, Gizelle said something like the same.
Wendy addresses Robyn and insists she can “only speak to” what’s written on the paper. I hate that phrase ‘I can’t speak to that.’ I think it sounds stupid. Can’t speak to what ? Also the context it’s usually in, is condescending, and/or trying to avoid a question. So that could be why I hate it. Which makes sense that Wendy used it.
Gizelle is freaking about how freaking assinine that is.
Wendy is complaining Robyn came after her and “tried to fight her” at Ashley’s dance thing. So they play a scene that didn’t make the cut I guess, Wendy bitching about Robyn coming at her, somewhere.
So let me get this straight, we got a goddamned tiptoe through the tulips scene for ten minutes, of everyone bitching they’re cold, and a contrived convo, but they cut out a meaningful scene??
Robyn calls Charisse and asks if she had to have one finger placed on her to restrain her, and she says no. But then they play the scene, where she did actually get in front of her. Don’t think Robyn was going to actually smack her, but whatever
Robyn goes nuts and Wendy says “maybe you should control your emotions”
So we do seem to have ‘Zen Wen’ this season. She must have watched last season back and saw what a lunatic she acted like. Especially when she kept calling herself ‘zen.’
Robyn leaves, which it probably is good idea for her to go.
Shady Ass Ashley tells Candiace that Chris was being flirty with her friend at Karen’s event.
You can tell this chick is lying. This is starting to look like some serious callous calculated payback BS. Cameras were rolling at Karen’s Spring event, where’s the footage? What friend?? It’s pretty fucking obvi, when she says “you want to call Michael a predator every which way…”
Candiace: It’s documented, is it not true?
Michael is/was a little off, Ashley just own it. Not like you really even loved the dude anyway, just biding your time.
This goes on for a little, then “the pendulum always swings the other way and it don’t feel good, huh???” Ashley is on a roll and coming after Candiace, I mean COMING after Candiace.
What is she so pissed at Candiace about? Is this really about last year when Candiace so nicely and away from the group, told Ashley about something he totally WAS doing?
“Michael has been in some other DM’s that were not as innocuous as mine.”
Again it wasn’t a DM Ashley. Candiace goes nuts.
