New tag lines are dumb as fuck. Would anyone even miss them if they did away with them altogether? Or just used the same one? Karen talking about being ridden, Gizelle using her daughters’ names, Ashley claiming she’s not a gold digger??
Speaking of witch, new homeowner Ashley shops for plants with her mom.
“That house just gave you life!” Okay, I guess a 2 million dollar house someone else pays for WOULD put a little spring in your step. These two are so trashy.
She’s preparing for a housewarming party. Her mom will not be in attendance. That’s a shame.
New Housewife Nneke, a lawyer, also Nigerian, who’s husband is a doctor, I assume was added to shut Wendy up and give her a little friendly competition. I’ve been saying they need to do this. Same with Heather on OC. Bring someone on to give then a little run for their money.
Nneke knows of Wendy, as she is friends with her husband’s cousin.
Ashley is navigating co-parenting by ‘letting’ Michael take her to the Bahamas with the kids. She’s such a stand-up gal.
Apparently, Michael is suing Candiace, over her claims last season about Michael having relations with various men, and Ashley claims to know nothing about it as she pretends to fiddle with plants. Give me a break, Trashley, you’re such a fucking liar. Does she really think we buy that they haven’t discussed it at all? She’s probably even behind it.
And I believe he did make a habit while with Ashley of having rendezvous’ with dudes. He’s clearly into men, as well as women. Or just men.
******
Mia and Karen have a chat by the river. They’re not on good terms of course, due to the finale last season where Mia was blasting that Karen used to make a habit of getting very drunk and fucking random guys in bathrooms, something on that order, if I remember correctly.
Not sure why the subtitles are in Spanish on my computer.
Karen calls her a liar and Mia maintains it wasn’t a lie, this was info that was told to her. Housewives love to throw around this “you’re lying” rhetoric constantly every time they disagree, or get accused. Everyone is always fucking ‘lying.’ Sounds familiar. It’s such an immature mindset to constantly have. Meanwhile YOU’RE the one lying, about everything.
And it’s always an argument about repeating said ‘lies.’ And the repeater is always claiming innocence, because she isn’t the one who STARTED it.
And this also is a claim that I believe to be true. Just noticing Karen’s body language, and how nervous and agitated she seemed at that event last season, and how she kept trying to keep Ray from hearing the accusations.
Then, she promptly left the event. I get that it would also be annoying to be accused of something you didn’t do, but she just seemed to look guilty to me.
Karen continues to scold Mia, and Mia because she needs to make sure she’s in as many scenes as possible, apologizes and agrees with Karen. Again, Mia brags, “I’m not drinking anymore, except for wine. Because there’s no alcohol in that, and it’s nutritious.
She blames mixing meds and booze for why she threw a drink on Wendy last season. MmmmmHmmmmm okay Mia. That’s random. This is the first we’re hearing of this. Well first I’m hearing of it.
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Candiace’s music career update: (if interested) She’s leaving her label Monarch, for a better, more reputable label to grow her career.
She’s doing more touring and her assistant dude suggests Drew from RHOA as an opener. She doesn’t seem into that. She’s doesn’t think she needs Drew, or doesn’t like Drew. I don’t know. Maybe she sings too well, and thought she was outshined?
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Another excruciating Robyn and Juan scene. She feels the need to update him on the little intervention thing on last week’s episode.
He yells – “I don’t care !!” when Robyn tells him that the ladies thought it was strange he showed up at the nail salon with this lady, after the laundromat sighting, which caused a ruckus. And of course he had no interest in her whatsoever, just a hot co-worker he was being “too nice” to.
It really all is a lot to swallow. All of the cheating ‘rumors’ then suddenly getting fired.
Robyn makes sure he’s looking for work. And it definitely sounds like he’s not looking for work. He’s “not rushing the process.” Translation: he’s applying for no jobs. How can he??
These headlines for this lawsuit sound like no joke. He ain’t getting hired as a coach, Robyn. For a very long time, if ever.
Robyn believes he’s guilty of nothing. He puts people before him most of the time, you know.
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We get acquainted with newbie Nneka. She and her man are remodeling a big bougee house. She describes herself as remarkable. Who does that sound like? Buckle up people, Miss Wendy ain’t going to be liking this.
This contractor does not seem to be at all impressed by their banter and trying really hard to be funny.
Her comment about ‘generational wealth’ being a ‘problem’ because it delayed her mortgage process is misleading. It’s not a problem.’ The problem comes in when you didn’t disclose the info at application. There is a section of the application that clearly states to list all properties that you OWN. Regardless of any additional criteria. ALL PROPERTIES. The reason behind that is that you have to qualify with any liens, taxes, insurance and HOA fees.
Her husband tells her she is doing a fantastic job as always. How sweet. Imagine just talking so sweetly to your wife or partner and uplifting her, instead of tearing her down and spewing hateful insults out of your fat face hole constantly, because this kind of foul behavior actually makes you feel good about yourself. Because you’re miserable, you’re jealous, you’re insecure, and you’re a rock-bottom bi-polar schitzo sociopath.
What kind of dude picks on girls??
She’s having fertility issues, however she drinks champs in the morning, and it’s in a wine glass. But I’m not even judging.
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Okay here we go, Wendy is up, and you’ll never guess what. She has a new project this season. Last season it was the Nigerian restaurant. Before that it was the candles.
So now she’s looking for ‘studio space’ in a random apartment building, where you can hear outdoor noises, to host a talk show.
Who wants to tell her she’s unpleasant and unlikable. She needs to talk to Bethenney Frankel about how her talk show went. Another arrogant, unpleasant and unlikable Housewife that thought she could be a talk show hostess, where you have to be personable and not a fucking cunt.
She can do so many things, and if YOU can’t, sucks to be you. Wow, okay, talk show host is totally the way you should go, Wendy, because people love being spoken to like that. And that’s such a lovely humble mindset. I think CNN would probably have her. LOL. She’d fit right in there.
Again just like her candle idea, Dr. Nothing seems to have no clue what she’s even doing, which we can see when her friend starts asking her questions. She tells her that she thinks she has a good P.A. but doesn’t want know what a P.A. is.
I feel like this budget conversation is identical to the budget conversation last season with Peter when she thought she was opening a restaurant, and the year before that with Eddie. She’s already ‘over budget’ with the space and whatever. This woman seems like she’s had it with Wendy already. Wendy thinks she can start a business venture, without spending a dime. She has no business skills whatsoever, which makes sense because all of her degrees are stupid non-sense fluff type degrees, that give you no real job skills nor knowledge. I can’t stand Wendy. You couldn’t tell, right?
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I always wear my stilettos with my leggings to go to pilates.
Gizelle can’t comprehend ‘triple twenty’ as Karen refers to her 60th birthday as. She drones on about something, I don’t know. Herself. The pilates instructor wants her to shut up. We want her to shut up.
Candiace seems to be absent from all of the gatherings. I’m assuming at some point, she will be faced with Ashley.
Well, we discuss Robyn and Juan, and Gizelle thinks Karen should apologize to Robyn because the ‘Georgetown blonde’ from last year was a rumor. But, what I say to that, is how possibly can we know this particular woman is a rumor? That sounds kind of naive to assume that, when he’s just gotten busted with multiple others, and lost his job due to sexual misconduct (allegedly)
Ashley gets asked about this stupid law suit that is probably for story line purposes only. Ashley is enjoying playing dumb (not a stretch) and coy about it when asked.
She shares a text message from Candiace last year, and if you ask me, she’s pretty on point. If you don’t agree, then sorry, you’re wrong. Most of these bitches do this shit. It’s their job. However, they can choose to tell producers, they’d prefer to be authentic and not play silly games. Candiace is one of the few. I think that speaks for your ‘character’ if you can say, “no pass, I just want to be myself” and be able to remain on the show.
These dumb jealous bitches with their tired old geezers, try to give Gizelle a hard time with her new younger lover, and she handles it great. Yeah ya fucking gold diggers, we know you “like ‘em older.”
Fucking trollops. Let Gizelle alone. She’s finally getting laid. As long as he’s legal, who cares. And these ho’s and their 80 year old dudes, how much are they getting it? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
******
Ashley’s housewarming day, and Uncle Lump is the first to arrive. Not sure if “when one door closes. another one opens” is the proper analogy for when you leave your rich old husband right on queue, as planned, directly following having two kids, and you make him buy you a mansion. There are definitely doors involved. It’s not like it was a new opportunity that she had to work for. She’s such a fucking lazy ho. Just like her mom.
But, that sounded so Ashley. She tries to hide nothing.
Karen and Charisse are still haters of each other and they arrive in almost identical outfits.
Wendy – I don’t know what the fuck she’s trying to do. She looks idiotic. This shit looks like she got it on clearance at Forever 21. She ignores Gizelle.
Desperate Deborah/Muppet arrives. You know the very unattractive chick that last season insisted everyone’s husband was hitting on her.
She actually looks like she might have had a little bit of a refresh. She’s a little less unattractive, I think. They actually barely showed her face, so I could be wrong.
Nneka arrives to shake things up a little bit, and hopefully to put Dr. Dolittle in her place. Wendy has this fake smile plastered on her face, as she sits down. Guys, this is going to be good.
Ashley and Wendy discuss Deborah, and how shysty Ashley was last season.
And of course, she is. She’s doing it right now, by telling Wendy shit that Nneka had said and questioned about the Osu thing and her family in Nigeria. And everyone makes fun of her Dr. of Nothing title. She should be used to that.
