Katie is serving really odd food for her dinner party. Mac and cheese, baked beans and brisket? Picnic style food? That she ordered. I’m being a food snob. She fills in her husband on the dude drama that’s been unfolding.
Emily and Shane are the first to arrive. You never want to be the first to arrive. But there IS free food, so Emily was like ‘let’s go punk, I’m hungry!’
I don’t mean to sound bitchy – I would never!! But they’re just not a cute couple. You think it too! Admit it. They appear very mismatched and I don’t pick up on any attraction whatsoever, although they really do try to pretend.
Shane is her wealthy sperm donor and you cannot convince me otherwise. She wanted her mits on that DNA and that money. So she sucked up marrying and having ice cube kids with a dude that she wasn’t in love with.
Emily is hungry, and Tamra is thirsty, (in both ways) so she and Eddie are the next to arrive.
Tamra as per uzse needs her liquid courage because she knows she’s going to be plopping down at the table and starting shit with Ryan, and we can’t do that without a pretty good buzz going, which makes it twice as pathetic as it already is. I’d have some respect for her if she could do it sober.
She’s getting so much online shit right now, not sure if you guys have heard. Her general behavior, peeing on Ryan’s concrete near the pool, and her comments about him on WWHL last week that her fake companies they don’t even run, make more money than he stole from the Dodgers player, have all gotten the viewers kind of disgusted.
Ryan didn’t like that too much and has sued her. I do want to say though I believe there is truth to his involvement. Clearly there’s some sketchy shit going on with his income, to have that huge Hugh Heffner house, and Jenn claims he has no job.
Did you catch him stammering and stuttering about ‘what he does’ when Matt was asking him. Katie probably told Matt to ask him that.
Real estate development, mortgages and yeah real estate development, yeah that’s it, that’s the one, that’s the ticket. He sounded foolish. Like tell us you do illegal shit for money without telling us you do illegal shit for money.
Jenn and Ryan arrive, and their drink of choice out of all the fucking drinks? Diet Coke and Malibu. I cannot even fathom a more disgusting beverage.
Eddie gives Ryan the hairy eyeball. OOOhhhh, I’m sure he’ scared.
Everyone seems to approve of Matt’s house. Matt and Katie’s house I mean.
She scored the husband jackpot. How exactly do you meet a nice successful decent okay-looking guy with no baggage, no crazy ass ex’s, and no obnoxious adult kids?? Or bratty little kids??
I think this guy is AI. Something is up.
Ryan greets Eddie, who asks for a hug, which is weird. I’m sure he just meant that guy half hug thing, but still sounds strange between two straight guys. Anyway Eddie declines so I guess this is Ryan’s indication that it’s ON. Eddie is SO MAD.
“Please don’t break any of our wine glasses, they’re $80.00 each.” Okay Katie.
I know she’s joking but seems like she really did want to disclose that little tidbit.
If Heather were present she would sure be one-upping, and bragging hers are $800 each. But of course Heather was not invited and we know why that is.
Eddie orders water only because he knows he gotta stay on the ball. As if he doesn’t know what Tamra’s up to.
Lots of social media jokes and chatter about the disgusted look on his face as Tamra’s chugging dirty martini’s, telling Matt to cut her off, and advising she ‘pace herself.’
Then looking up at the sky and the opposite direction when Tamra has her buzz on and starts earning her checks at the dinner table. Save Eddie. We need to save poor Eddie.
Riddle me this. If their businesses are so successful, why we gotta make a complete and utter fool out of ourself on reality TV??
Here’s the “what do you do?” convo with Matt and Ryan. Its hilarious. I’ll go so far as to say the funniest damned part of this entire hour.
Poor Ryan trying so hard to sound legit.
He throws ‘flips’ in there for good measure. He claims he ‘works from home’ and blames covid for that, but Jenn had said she never sees him ‘working.’
Matt looks so confused.
Eddie tells Tamra to pace herself. He should know how this works by now. Is he stupid or something?
Classy fucking Ohio Emily (can take the girl out of Ohio…) who has already drained two drinks within half hour tops after arrival, screams from across the room to Tamara to have Matt make her another one. Wow.
Then there’s Katie serving this KFC slop from foil fucking containers.
I can’t with these people. This seems like a 4pm supper in a trailer park, and Tamra hasn’t even gone to work yet to make it really trashy.
So Emily’s already slurring, and screaming at the host about making her third or maybe even fourth drink, as Tamra spills her martini all over the floor and she doesn’t even notice nor care. Can’t take these two slobs anywhere.
Eddie looks immediately frightened.
We’re frightened too Eddie. And we’re very worried for you.
She walks back from the bar area looking frazzled and apologizing about spilling her drink everywhere.
She has to be borderline incoherent to have not even realized that drink was going everywhere.
Eddie still looks frightened. This still is very popular online right now. It says a lot.
Someone free the Eddie’s! This one, and Wendy’s Eddie on Potomac. They both look like they hate their lives.
Tamra drinks it in three gulps as Eddie tells Matt to cut her off.
At dinner Tamra starts being inappropriate within like three minutes, asking Matt if he was a ‘player’ before he married Katie then announcing she saw her butthole.
She’s just getting warmed up people.
And herrrrrrrrre we go – It’s time for The Emily Show!! She starts complaining about that fashion show that let’s face it, that’s a very loose term to describe what was taking place. I think it’s safe to call it a pretend fashion show. You know how when you’re a little girl and you play house. Kind of like that.
But Emily, she’s taking it very very seriously. She was walking the runway in Paris according to the way she’s acting.
She starts blubbering and gyrating around, sounding insane, about how she goes to the gym every day and that her dress at the pretend fashion was a 12 and that is unacceptable. Does she know sizes run differently in different brands of clothing? Also does she know no one cares??
Super fit Tamra tries to pretend she understand and empathizes. She doesn’t. She’s also clearly shitfaced.
It’s funny to me that Bravo named this episode ‘The Elephant In The Room.’
Who’s the elephant?
Is there a point where she will EVER drop this fucking size 12 dress? I thought it was the jeans she was most pissed about? Now it’s the size tag on the dress? Why didn’t someone ask her “what dress size do you normally wear??”
Great she lost weight, we see that, but her build is still thick. She definitely looks like a 10 or 12 to me.
I’m going to fucking lose my shit if she doesn’t shut the fuck up. The ladies are sick of it too. They swiftly change the subject BACK to Alexis which is what drunk Tamra originally wanted to gossip about before Emily made it about her and her big ass.
Tamra gossips about the law suit and tells everyone about the pocket dial call.
Tamra tries to immediately shut down Katie questioning the coincidence of Shannon being sued by Alexis and Jim when they were together, and now Alexis and John. As if that’s not a valid fucking point??
What the fuck is going on with Tamra’s head up the Giraffe’s asshole?? Yes Tamra you CAN put those two together, because it IS questionable.
Eddie smirks. He’s thinking what I’m saying.
Can we talk about the elephant in the room Tamra asks? Thought we already did. Many many fucking times. Many many many times.
I guess it’s the other elephant she’s taking about – how Eddie is pissed at Ryan.
I like Emily as the elephant better, but okay.
Eddie immediately starts looking to the side, up at the sky everywhere but at Tamra or Ryan.
Tamra starts bitching at Ryan and listing all of the things he said about her and Eddie.
Does it matter what was said at ‘Tamra and Eddie’s gym’ about them, that no longer exists. I’m pretty sure they were insufferable there. Who cares.
Ryan denies the comments he made, as they get played.
Now Eddie stops looking at the birds or clouds or whatever and chimes in when Ryan continues to deny all of the accusations.
We’re going back to last season and how Ryan said he wanted Tamra, and they bicker about that. “You’ll never ever have my wife” Eddie mockingly tells him.
All right Eddie, settle down there, I think he’s good. Don’t think he wants your wife. Don’t think anyone wants your wife. You don’t want your wife.
Now to play devil’s advocate, I think maybe Ryan did make that comment, but to be fair it was when he didn’t know her.
Now Tamra is talking about her kid’s dick. She is. This is why we needed four martini’s I guess.
Everyone looks embarrassed for her.
Jenn starts addressing and yelling at Eddie for ‘allowing’ this. He’s not her keeper, he says. Yes. We see that.
Tamra calls Ryan ‘a little bitch’ again. Seems to be her go-to phrase here.
“How’s the FBI going for you?”
Apparently his gambling troubles had started at this point.
Jenn seems to not know what is even going on.
Matt wraps Eddie up in a little shawl which is the last thing he needed because he is coming off as Tamra’s little bitch boy.
This is almost as funny as Ryan trying to explain his job.
Jenn addresses Eddie and tells him she hates this coming between the two of them because she’s had “massive respect for him forever.”
That seemed to piss Tamra off. Something does seem weird with those two. Last season I thought I picked up on weird tension between Tamra and Ryan.
If you remember she had a little thing for him and called him ‘hot gym guy.’
Were these four doing a little switcheroo or something?
Eddie has no interest in going after her. Did he even notice she left? He’s wrapped up in his blankie looking lovingly at Jenn.
Tamra stumbles out of the gate dropping her purse. Eddie seems happy to be rid of her so he can sit and gaze at Jenn.
Cant make this shit up.
Did I mentioned he’s wrapped in a blankie like a little bitch??
Should I remind you how Tamra keeps yelling and carrying on about Shannon having an alcohol problem?
