Tamra bitches about how annoying Eddie is since the gym is closed and he’s home all day doing nothing. They’re moving stuff into this new ‘office’ for Eddie to brainstorm some new business idea related to fitness.
Yeah let’s not hold our breath for that one. Thought they had this CBD business?
Tamra: “Are you going to spend more time here like you were doing at Cut?” (translation- please come here as much as possible)
Eddie: “I don’t know, it depends on what project I come up with.”
So they have this ‘office’ space for Eddie to do what exactly?? Get out of Tamra’s way? Pretend he’s busy? Seems weird to rent office space for that.
Something tells me it’s going to be something really original like work-out attire. She doesn’t care if he jacks off there, just go. Pretty sure he WILL be jacking off, since he doesn’t want to bang her, but you know, not to worry, RYAN wants to fuck her.
Tamra does seem to have the arrogant ‘Heather walk’ down, as she demos for Eddie. Actually I think Eddie would make a better Heather. Just kidding. Kind of.
******
Heather dresses like this to go to a greenhouse. Maybe she has an audition or something? Just kidding. I love these random spots that they have them meeting at. Yes, I’m so sure they’re here buying mums and pumpkins.
Heather, I’m guessing is getting back at whomever, since she was outed for gossiping about Shannon and John. They discuss the fact that Shannon has been questioning Gina and Travis’ relationship.
So is this going to be the whole fucking season? Questioning each other’s ‘relationships?’ So far it’s been New Jenn and Ryan, Shannon and John, and Gina and Travis. But for some UNKNOWN FUCKING reason, not Terry busted for cheating on Heather, or Gina pushing Travis down the stairs.
Heather brought this up but doesn’t want to contribute or offer any additional feedback or judgment.
“She needs something to talk about because she doesn’t want to talk about hersellllfffff and I don’t like thaaaaaaaaaaattttttt”
Okay projector and hypocrite, as you refuse to mention your embarrassing shit, like your drunken fight with Travis, resulting in a custody issue with his kids. Maybe the viwersssssssss don’t like thaaaaaattttttttt.
And it was all fun and games when you and Emily were dragging Shannon last season for any fucking thing she said or did, and insisted she was ‘jealous’ of your fake friendship with Heather.
Hey, I have an idea, let’s review Gina’s evil and sinister face when interacting with Shannon last season. telling her that she feels sorry for her. Hey Gina, I didn’t like thaaaaaaaaaatttttttt. Maybe Shannon didn’t like thaaaaaaaattttttttt. I literally want to back-hand this bitch. Remember this horrific jacket, when she looked like a hunchback??
******
New Jenn has some weird heart to heart with a good friend about Ryan, and whether or not she may be having reservations about making it official with him. She claims she trusts him. She says in her yap that her parents don’t want him working for them anymore.
I feel like that kind of contradicts what she had said earlier, that her parents totally love him, and cannot wrap their head around the fact that she’s divorcing him. So this is new. So if they don’t want him working for them, why is he?? How awkward can that be??
She says this is holding up the divorce, so is he looking for them to pay him off? And what is her family business, has she ever even said? Sure she doesn’t want him to lose his job, she needs those child support checks for five freaking kids,
She’s afraid a marriage to Ryan might give him the cheating itch again. But I thought she trusted him ‘explicitly??’
We get graced with the presence of the OG of the OC (am I the only one that thinks “old girl” when I hear her use this acronym?)
Getting ready for the doppleganger party.
Shannon has Gina, and goes for the really bad hair era. Of course, why wouldn’t she? She NEEDS to do the voice though! Did Gina do this stupid twang then last season? I’ll have to watch some repeats. I don’t recall it being this annoying if she did.
I don’t know why she’s forgiven Emily already since last season. She was just as bad to her. if not worse, than Gina. Tamra’s Heather impersonation is GREAT. That stick up the ass walk. Nailed it!
New Jenn gets Taylor, and it’s kind of meh, but not sure she’s really that fun to imitate? She’s kind of a meh person. Gina imitates Emily, and padded her body to mimic Emily’s ‘curves.’ Epic fail on the boobs though. Maybe she ran out of padding.
Emily has Shannon. Not sure about these flowered leggings, if they scream Shannon. I can already tell there’s going to be some that are not appreciative of their imitator’s looks and behavior.
I don’t think Heather did that great as Jenn. The hair is too dark and not seeing that exercise onsie thing as something she would wear??
Love Tamra’s addition of the money gun, and bragging about how much money she spends. Tamra’s really the only one also doing the personality. What the hell’s wrong with these bitches?? This could be so much more fun!
Heather, who you know, has a hard time laughing at herself, doesn’t seem to find it very humorous. And Taylor as Tamra? What? Talk about zero fucking effort! She’s wearing leggings and carrying hand weights. Thumbs down Taylor. Like what the hell else are you doin’ that you couldn’t have but a little thought and effort into this? Tamra seems miffed about the lack of enthusiasm as well. Lame.
Shannon arrives, and Gina seems annoyed she did the long frizzy bleached blonde thing. Whatever Gina. Payback for being such a twat last season. Deal with it. I just WISH she would be doing the twang!! Shannon COME ON!! You’re disappointing me. She’s sort of doing her New York accent, but so pissed she’s not ridiculing that asinine Ginaccent. Love the combat boots. She does tend to wear those.
Vickie came as Vickie, pushing a keg in a cart. She immediately wants to do a keg stand, then proceeds to spit it out.
Gemily gossip amongst themselves inside about Shannon and John. Could these bitches be any more ecstatic that they have been having arguments? They try so hard to play it off as concern, and it’s clearly not.
Emily claims it ‘hurts her feelings’ because she shares about Shane. She sounds so stupid. Glad she stopped pissing and moaning about getting herself on the bus as a child.
Game time and it’s ‘do or drink.’ Of course the questions are crude and sexual. Snooty, supposedly modest Heather seems just fine with asking Taylor if she’s ever had a threesome. Of course she’s had a threesome. Shannon’s seemingly annoyed with Emily imitating her by waving her hands around her face. Which Emily also does. Emily actually has her arms going full speed when she’s all riled up.
Guess the fun and ‘games’ are over. That was entertaining while it lasted. Tamra wastes no time going after Heather about Shannon. It’s getting late. Time’s a wastin.’ Mama’s gotta bring home the bacon, AND fry it up in the pan, because Eddie sure as hell isn’t going to do it.
What makes this so extra not interesting is the fact that we know they broke up. So doesn’t it seem like a moot point, listening to all of this? I wish these shows could air in somewhat of real time. Maybe just a two weeks to a month behind.
Several years ago when Bravo was doing more of the random non-Housewife reality shows, there was one about a bunch of singles, and their online dating escapades. The eps were aired only about a week after the actual filming, so you know they weren’t doing a lot of editing.
That’s what they need to start doing with Housewives. Have the shows airing close to the filming, and skip so much editing and manipulating. I think it can be done. I’m going to talk Andy. Or I’ll have my people call his people.
Shannon pulls Heather aside and tells her how she’s upset that she’s been blabbing what she had confided in her. Heather denies the blabbing, as she always does. Bitch ALWAYS denies shit that she definitely does.
I don’t get why they’re over analyzing Shannon bitching about her boyfriend. Women bitch about their husbands and boyfriends, it’s what we do. Emily starts with the ‘unfair’ thing again. Is she like five? Why is it a contest who bitches about their man more, and who has the worst relationship?
It’s heart-wrenching to hear Shannon talk about how much she loves John. Heather starts the finger wagging, as she brags what a great friend and all around person she is. She overhears Tamra stirring it up at the table. What’s funny is none of these marriages and relationships are great.
Eddie is certainly gay, Shane is kind of a weirdo and possibly cheating, possibly with a dude, Terry got caught cheating, probably with a dude. New Jenn left her husband for this serial cheater, who wants to FUCK Tamra. The only one that might be in a solid is Taylor.
“Did you talk to Gemily about Shannon’s relationship?”
Wish they would stop saying ‘relationship!!’ Heather puts it back on them and accuses them of the same. Now Gina is involved… Can’t we just say they’re all talking about each other, and their dudes, and call it a day? Literally I could have made my whole recap that one fucking sentence.
Now Shannon is all cranked up.
Poor Heather’s ‘so mad’ Emily is always ‘coming after her.’ I’m sure that she IS in shock, when last year she and Gina were so far up her asshole, their heads were popping out of her mouth. It was sick. She’s used to everyone sucking up to her non-stop. Let’s flash on this little Hallmark moment, shall we??
Meanwhile Emily informs her that she told her a lot of shit that apparently she doesn’t remember. This is a shit show. Shannon looks stunned.
Emily and Heather blab in their yaps that John isn’t invested in the relationship, and she’s wasting her time, Shannon pays for everything, he never sleeps over… Heather seems really excited to be announcing all of that, but shut down that Terry cheating accusation pretty fucking quick.
Shannon is now in full meltdown mode. How does she always seem to be the subject of the main ‘story line?’ And never in a good way.
Why can’t we talk about Terry and Heather?? Please! I want to talk about Terry and Heather! That dude knocked her right off of her pedestal! Finally!!
So help me out here, Emily bitches that Shannon doesn’t share about her super private deets, however she JUST SAID, ‘when we went to Javier’s you told me a lot.’ Granted she has to have a few margaritas to overshare, but whatever, not the point.
I don’t get why Shannon keeps saying “my relationship is over.” I mean, it was, but she didn’t know that. So when she tells John she was filmed talking about him, he’s going to be pissed and break up with her? Is that what she’s getting at?
Twist her chubby arm – Emily wants to share more John gossip, and says he calls her fat and unattractive… what an asshole, if that’s true.
She keeps saying that she’s told each of the ladies separately about some arguments and issues here and there, and it was only two or three times, and two years ago, and she doesn’t get why everyone thinks it’s all bad. I think she’s complained about him more than she recalls, and doesn’t remember exactly what she’s said due to being over served.
THIS WAS PRICELESS: Shannon to Heather: “what’s going on with your marriage?” as they flash a Terry cheating headline. Boom! I bet she’s pissed that wasn’t edited out. She waves her hand, and blows it off, but holy shit you can tell by her face it’s true! I. Love. This. She looks ready to puke.
“Dumb lies and rumors from ridiculous sources.”
Okay Heather. Then why were you so adamant that it not get discussed to the point airing was delayed six months because the whole fucking season needed re-edited?? And more importantly, why was it re-edited ?? What IN THE the hell does she have on Bravo? Why the hell is this broad calling the shots?? Whatever. Annoying.
The party breaks up, Shannon bitches to the producers again. Not sure what she wants them to do. I’m sure they’re thinking, woman you signed up for this shit.
By the way, who doesn’t love these Housewife meltdowns in costumes? No one even takes their wigs off.
“You’re looking for shit to be pissed at me about.” Oh, like you all did to Shannon last season?? What’s that, Heather, ya don’t like when it’s done to you?? Huh.
I’m just so glad to have not heard Tamra repeat, not even once, “I wanna FUCK her!” I’m sure it will come up next week,
