All right, here we go. Opening with Shannon having this super serious intense convo with John about the drama at Tamra and New Jenn’s doppleganger party. She felt ambushed, she tells him.
I know they have since parted ways, but I hate that she and John had this tumultuous relationship. I really wanted my Shannon to be happy after finally getting away from stupid David. In previous seasons, John seemed really chill, and we never even saw them arguing or not getting along. But it seems like there’s been a lot going on that’s not great.
Quick break from this Housewife silliness for one sec. Will you look at Archie? I thought he was having health problems a few years ago, but he seems good as new.
This is the evening of her Fiesta event for National Taco Day, and she fears no one will be attending.
I do like how John (at least during filming) always seems to take her side, and be supportive of her. That’s the whole idea of having a partner.
She feels betrayed by the girls since they’re all cackling about her and John’s fucked up relationship. She still is trying to maintain that she only told them each about a minor argument or two. But we all know that’s not the case. She gets upset, drunk dials and overshares. Then she refers to it as ‘gossip.’ Girl, you’re the one sayin’ the shit!!
Okay, so Emily is back to being involved the Innocence Project charity work, which I was happy to see. There was a quick scene last season of her meeting with the head of the organization, then it kind of got dropped. She was commended, and asked about it at the reunion last year, and you could tell she hadn’t been doing shit, but tried to pretend she was (“I still do it when I get the time…” ) She wasn’t doing shit, which really really irked me that she was sitting there taking credit for it.
She had plenty of time to analyze Noella’s marriage and divorce though. I honestly could not stomach her at the reunion last year, or all season, really. Her Heather ass kissing, throwing Shannon under the bus, that embarrassing 80’s prom gown she was wearing, the clown makeup, her self-righteousness, as her flabby arms were going full force. She put on a shit show, and I lost all respect for her.
I’m trying to get some back this season, I really am, but she’s not making it easy. All I will say that’s positive, is that she’s not acting like a total piece of shit this season.
This really is good for her to do. It’s a great cause. Hopefully her heart is in it, and she’s not doing it for appearances purposes. Although I’m not sure that she’s working on any actual cases, and doing the legwork to free innocent people.
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Gina decides she’s not going to Shannon’s party. Heather whines that she has to meet Shannon at Huntington Beach where she’s setting up for her party, to chat. Not sure why they couldn’t do this over the tele.
She arrives to the beach completely over dressed, in six inch heels, that she can barely walk in, and claims that she just ‘had a meeting.’ She’s coming in hot, on the defense, and instantly insisting she hasn’t been spreading Shannon’s information around.
She has been repeating stuff, so not sure why she can’t just say that?? It would be a lot less frustrating for Shannon.
Shannon is more concerned with the fact that the ladies are acting like the gossip eludes to the fact that their relationship is awful. Which it kind of sounds like it is, but she keeps just sweeping everything under the rug, and calling it normal. I don’t know why she was in such a denial state at this point
“You don’t seem to remember that you tell lotsa people lotsa things.”
All of the ladies weigh in on her late night drunken calls to complain about John. I’ll admit it, Emily’s yap bit is the funniest, when she says Shannon should have a breathalyzer type unit on her phone.
“John is a private person.” She does keep repeating that. Kind of over it. Then he shouldn’t be on a reality show. He could easily opt out of being featured on the show. We’ve had other spouses/significant others opt out. Cameron’s husband on Southern Charm comes to mind. Never once saw him on the show. You can’t call yourself a private person, and be super okay with being on a reality show.
Heather quickly disputes this, and announces in her yap, that Shannon has said that “John loves being in the limelight.” He doesn’t really come off to me like that, since he seems to have all the personality of a dishrag, but who knows what’s going on, literally behind the scenes.
Shannon storms off again, and does the breaking the fourth wall thing and charges into the production area. “I’m out. Get rid of the mic.”
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Jenn’s too sweet and salt of the earth to be part of the Housewives. I suspect that she’ll be a one and done Housewife. I mean, she’s fostering kittens, she adopted a child when she has four biological children.
This is not the place for her.
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Heather and Terry sign the contract for this penthouse condo thing in LA, and yeah whatever. I predicted this! I’ll have to look back at my recap posts from last season, but I was pretty sure, as she was bragging and showing off her house for Gina and Shannon, that they already felt stupid wandering about the hallways of this 22,000 SF hotel/house.
Now with the two older kids in college, of course they want to unload it. I know they made a lot on it, but I just don’t get spending four years, four fucking years building a house, customizing the crap out of it, sparing no expense, to only live in it for six. Two years longer than it took to build.
Like it would have made so much more sense to just stay in the first huge massive house.
I was curious if it’s been disclosed yet who purchased it. I found this interesting. The buyer seems to still be a mystery, and interestingly just purchased Mark Wahlberg’s house for 55 mill as well.
Also they can lose the lovey dovey bullshit already. We know it’s crap.
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Emily calls Shannon to discuss the doppleganger party, and they begin to have the exact same argument that she had with Heather.
She ultimately tells Shannon that she’s not attending her party. Even though she loves tacos.
Shannon starts freaking and the infamous “I didn’t sign up for this.” Reality stars need to seriously lose that line, when they’re frustrated or pissed off about what’s being said. Yes, you literally ‘signed up’ for this. You signed an agreement to do this. But anyway, I don’t get why Shannon is so extra cracra this season. What is she so afraid of coming out? It seems like it has to be more than a bunch of stupid drunken arguments. Maybe he was threatening to break up with her if their issues were discussed on the show? Which they were, and he did do.
Emily now bitches to Production.
What is happening here? Why do they keep crying to production. Do they really even think they give a shit?
Shannon starts listing her and John’s issues in front of the cameras, then demands the footage not be shown. Even I am at a loss for words.
I don’t know why she can’t let go of the skinny jeans. It’s time.
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I don’t know if I’m buying that Emily loves and cares about Shannon. It’s hard to take these ladies seriously. After all of that mean girl crap last season that Gemily were doing, acting like a couple of conniving twats, but we’re supposed to suddenly believe she’s like her BFF ?
You know how when someone lies to you, about something kind of serious, and you catch them in that lie, you realize you can’t trust them any longer.
Gina and Emily arrive at the Innocent Project event, which I guess is why she was telling Shannon she was going to be late, but then decided to ditch it altogether.
I would like to see more of this Emily. Last Season Emily, never ever come back. We shouldn’t be seeing multiple personalities if this is supposed to be ‘reality TV’ right?? She should be telling Bravo to suck it, if they tell her again to ‘go after people, and suck up to others.
Seems like such a sell-out and cowardly thing to do, Emily, and your little sidekick too!
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Taco Fiesta is poppin’ at the beach. Shannon is in slightly better spirits. I think it’ll be more fun without Heather and Gemily, so who cares!! Less arguing!
What’s with all the blazers? I guess they’re trendy right now, but they’re literally all in blazers. Believe it or not, there were no color assignments!
Eddie complains that his wife’s clothes come off when she drinks tequila. Shouldn’t most dudes like that? Pretty sure that’s what the bartender chick is thinking, or that she’s just sick of people saying dumb shit like that to her.
Everyone arrives that did not cancel. Tamra, Eddie, Taylor, her dude, his stomach, and Jenn and Ryan.
Ryan and Tamra hug and I don’t know. I’m watching on my computer for my re-watch, so I do feel like that enables me to catch things that may be missed. Seemed to me Tamra giving Ryan a courtesy greeting hug, gets her a little hot and bothered. She looked really uncomfortable, in the way that she enjoyed it a little too much.
Tequila shots are going around. Eddie’s gonna hit on Ryan, if they’re not careful
Back and forth with the Fiesta and Innocent Project Gala scenes. Yeah, I guess Emily is just involved in this to go to the gala, and buy some chicks some dresses, so she can feel good about herself. Whatever, I tried.
It seems to me, looking at the darkness at both events, Emily and Sidekick probably wouldn’t have made Shannon’s party anyway.
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Eddie, Captain Inappropriate (at least he didn’t make a dick sucking reference about himself) asks John if he’s fucking another girl when they joke about John and Shannon’s problems. Eddie, read the room. Of all things to say. Does this dude have tourette’s?
It was awkward for a moment, Shannon looks ready to punch him, when Ryan lightens it up when he says “that’s my job!!”
Wonder if Tamra scolds Eddie when they get home for the embarrassing shit he that he’s been saying on camera. He seems kind of socially inept honestly. Cute, but socially inept, and possibly gay.
Which is fine, to be gay, except that he’s married to Tamra, who’s a woman.
So they start talking about one of the absentees, Gina. Jenn brings up their convo when Gina bitched about Shannon prying into her and Travis’ possible issues.
And Shannon, love ya. You’re my girl you’re my sister from another mister, again brags about how she kept Gina out of jail by referring her to a good attorney, since she had one she got from Craig’s list that didn’t know what the fuck was going on.
Gina HATES when she brings this up, and takes credit for ‘keeping her out of jail.’ She HATES it.
I’m not sure why we brought that up from four years ago, instead of how she drunkenly pushed Travis down the stairs three months ago.
After the way she treated Shannon last season, bet she wishes she would have left her dumb ass go to jail.
Is that really a super soaker filled with tequila? Taylor was game to give it a ‘shot’ then choked out on it. Yeah, that looked really unpleasant. If I’m gonna drink tequila and torcher my liver a little, I want to enjoy my drinks in a salt-rimmed margarita, not have it pummeled down my throat.
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Oh please Heather, you are not going to getting any ‘urgent calls’ from Hollywood for casting calls. Can this woman just GO AWAY already?? Honestly did anybody miss her when she was gone for five years??
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Gina drops in on New Jenn, and I don’t think she likes kitties. Jenn hands her a kitten, and Gina is holding her like she was handed a bomb, and asks if they have a disease ?
That kitty looks like my Lucy that I lost last November.
Gina looks horrified. Has she not ever seen kittens? Not sure I’m buying Gina and Jenn as besties, but I’m giving it a chance. She explains why she was absent from Taco/Tequila Tuesday.
Jenn immediately squeals on Shannon for bragging about the attorney that she provided to Gina, and Gina is immediately ticked off that she dare discuss it, and dare say her kids would have gone to CPS.
This isn’t my area, but I would say if a parent is arrested with no other parent home, they probably would have been taken at least until someone was called to step in.
And Gina doesn’t have any family in the area. She goes all nuts in her yap, that if everyone in OC that got a DUI, their kids go to CPS, then all of the kids would be in CPS. Which is making her sound kind of empty-headed. Obviously if she would have gotten arrested that night, her kids would have had to go somewhere temporarily. But I do agree Shannon shouldn’t have brought it up. Again.
“It’s cruel, it’s mean.” Okay, should we roll last season’s footage Gina?? You wanna open dialogue about being cruel and mean? Lose the croc tears VaGina, pahhhlease.
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Emily and Shannon meet up. Now Shannon is coming in hot. In skinny jeans again. You can see she’s in a mood.
Funniest line of the night, Shannon to the server: “What’s good? What’s low fat?”
“I love the summer salad.”
“Yeah I’ll take a cheeseburger – medium well.”
They get into this same old same old. Frankly sick of hearing about this. Especially since they are broken up. Isn’t it kind of like watching a football game where you already knows who wins, and the score ?
Emily takes all of the blame for blabbing, but claims it was in the interest of being concerned, and pleads with her to move past their argument, and tells she how much she loves and cares for her.
Will the real Emily please stand up?
