Real Housewives of NYC Premier 7/16/23

Here we go – all new RHONY!

When they were showing the previews before the premier on Sunday, I though that Brynn was either Mandy Moore, or Kathryn McPhee. Assuming you know who Mandy Moore is, Kathryn McPhee is American Idol alum, married to David Foster, Yolanda’s ex, that was a Beverly Hills Housewife. Doesn’t she look like the two of them combined?

In a previous clip, I heard her say she was single, and I was like, oh Katherine must’ve dumped David Foster. Guess the fifth time WASN’T a charm.

I thought the ‘reboot’ was not even getting aired. I was reading last year that there were casting issues with some of them, and I thought they had just given up.

It’s early, but kind of coming off that no one is really a miserable self-loathing bullying dick. There isn’t any hate or contempt for each other. They all seem like they’re friends. But I could be eating my words, and taking that back.

So let me just get this out of the way. The cheese quarrel – here’s what I have to say: Yes, it is a stupid argument. Sadly, not the dumbest one that I’ve ever seen on Housewives.

But, what was different, is how they laugh at themselves, and acknowledge that it was asinine. And that’s all I hope to say about it (but probably not.)

Now. We’ll see if they can keep this up, as they navigate the less ridick challenges. Maybe they were just getting warmed up, with the cheese. That’s weird!

It’s giving Sex and the City, honestly. In a good way.

Jenna – I like already. Love! So eccentric, but at the same time, sort of normal. And hey I feel like I know her already. I used to be an avid J. Crew online shopper, and remember the ‘Jenna’s picks’ emails. I still get the emails actually, They just don’t say ‘Jenna’s picks’ anymore.

Jessel – Not sure yet – Coming off a little meh, honestly, and getting a bad vibe.

Brynn – Think I kind of love. Sort of the early Bethenney right? She’s single, no kids, hangin’ with all of the married with children ladies. Not as tightly wound as Bethenney, by a long shot.

Sai – Okay, so far, like her, she’s cute, but I do kind of gravitate towards my fellow petites. I love how she does influence ‘modeling’ even though she’s really teeny. Now that (I thought ) we’re observing all body types, and featuring ‘plus size’ why am I not seeing petites represented still? That’s the $64,000 question, that I’m sure no one has the answer to.

Ubah – reminds me a lot of Chanal Ayan on Dubia. She seems like a lot, like Chanal Ayan. Which, in case you’re wondering about Duibai, will be airing later this year. Filming began in the spring, and probably recently wrapped up. So we get another season represented in Dubai, this time. Having the feeling it’s not much different than the ‘winter.’

Erin– like her so far, seems funny and sort of down to earth.

I like how Brynn is just like – yeah whatever, I’m jealous of Sai, she has everything I want.” But she isn’t an evil hater wanting to wreck her life, which jealousy does to some people.

It can consume you if you can’t manage it.

She freely admits, and jokes about ‘taking her out’ because she’s jealous. I’ve literally experienced bitches seemingly, wanting to eliminate me from the planet, (but she just settled for trying to get me fired) because she was jealous.

So it is a thing that can consume you, if you’re unable to manage it. Like you know, when you’re an adult, you’re kind of expected to manage your feelings and emotions without taking your frustrations out in those you claim to love, and making people around you miserable.

I love how the ladies always comment on their looks or outfits as soon as they see them. I guess that’s what girls do. And the wives are always way overdressed for the occasions, when they’re filming, so I guess they feel like they gotta say something.

******

Jessel with her toddler twins, and Brynn, visit Sai for a ‘play date.’ Not sure that her older kids are interested in a ‘play date’ with toddlers, so this may be chaotic. There are probably some nannies involved.

Brooklyn is so chic – it’s like a vibe.”

Well, holy moly – I guess trashy Brooklyn is trendy and acceptable now to all.

Alex McCord finally has redemption!!

Remember how hard of a time the bougie Upper East Siders gave poor Alex in early seasons of RHONY, for having the audacity to live all the way in Brooklyn. Like euuwwwwww.

Do you recall Bethenney, not any sort of success at that point by far, and living in a teeny tiny 1 BR condo in the city, came to Alex’s and made all sorts of snarky and bitchy comments that they were remodeling.

And Alex had the actual NERVE to not EVEN apologize to her. Wow Bethenney, just wow. What real estate did you own then? Oh, none. Okay.

Moving on to 2023. (I guess it’s normal to make comparisons and references of the ‘new and improved’ and the OG’s.)

So before the “cheese, that’s weird” feud gets underway, there’s another clash.

‘Salty’ feelings that Erin has in reference to a last minute get-together she had planned at a restaurant that did not meet the approval of Sai and Brynn, so they claimed they were tired and going home, but did their own thing at a more desired spot, and posted it all on Insta.

I’m not even attempting to spell the restaurant that they named, as the one that Sai and Brynn went to. Does sound a little bougier than ‘Carmine’s’ I guess.

They bleep out the name of that particular establishment, I guess out of respect to not give it bad rap.

However, and you’re welcome, I think that I have some tea on the establishment they were referring to via a Tik Tok video from a New Yorker. She claims that she is 99% sure it was ‘Carmines. ’

It’s a no-frills family style Italian joint near Times Square, and I guess it wasn’t bougie enough for Sai and Brynn. There was an Olive Garden comparison, if you caught that.

Basically it just looks like a no-frills, family owned Italian eatery. I think the Olive Garden comparison came in, because it’s sort of a small chain, with a total of six restaurants – two in NYC, one in Atlantic City, one in DC, Vegas and the Bahamas. Here is the link if you’re curious:

https://www.carminesnyc.com/

This tik toker also reveals that the place they ended up at, wasn’t much more hip or happening than Carmine’s. The name sounds fancier though.

Meanwhile. the ladies are discussing this in the now bougie Brooklyn, at Sai’s about how utterly embarrassing it was to be seen at Carmine’s. They keep bleeping it, but in this clip you can hear Brynn make the hard ‘C’ sound before the bleep bleeps.

What in the world is on her sweater? Sheep? That’s weird.

Sheep aren’t weird, but cheese is!

I said that I was not going to address the cheese thing again, but Sai denies saying this because she loves cheese, and thinks she had a mouthful of it when this was supposedly said.

Erin is also pissed at her about this, in addition for refusing to go to Carmine’s. She’s being described ‘in the circle’ as always being pissed about something, and this demonstrates that.

Well it was weird cheese !!!

******

Jessel – bit of a neurotic one, and I’m being nice, bitches at her mom (who’s visiting her from London, to help with her kids) and husband for fingerprints on the furniture.

This is the one with the twin toddler boys right? Girlfriend better learn to ease up a little bit on the OCD cleanliness. Not to mention, that the whole fucking apartment, is white. White. With two toddlers. With an OCD mom. This should get interesting in a few years. Guess they won’t be allowed in the place.

Just make yourself at home…while not touching anything.

Husband gets bitched at for having the literal nerve to sit at his own table in his fucking apartment to work.

Need you to leave the table, then leave the apartment, and never come back. Oh but please send your money.

Okay ya know how earlier I said I wasn’t sure about her. Well now I’ve made an official assessment and I’m sure. I can’t fucking stand her. She refers to being ‘happily married’ when she just proceeded to tell her husband he had to leave the dining area table. I think he might say otherwise about the ‘happily’ part. All kidding aside, he looks kind of miserable and sorta like he wants to stab her.

Sleep with one eye open bitch!

Yeah they’re going to be divorced soon.

She even admits she would never say anything nice about him when Jenna makes a joke.

Poor guy, he looks so melancholy. He seems really sweet and she seems like a fucking bitch.

Jenna, the J. Crew chick visits, and I have to say I really, really, really, love her!! She snags an oreo from the cannister.

Just such a positive vibe I’m getting! She is planning a girls night in, where of course, even though it’s a night in, there is a specific color that they’re being ordered to wear.

‘Khaki’ being one of them, which is not an actual color, more like a lack of color.

******

I’m trying to figure out what actor Erin’s father reminds me of.

Erin’s husband seems really hands-on. As in he does everything, and she’s just living her best bougie life in NYC, coming and going as she pleases pretending like she doesn’t even have little kids. That must be nice.

******

Black, gold metallic or khaki are the wear rules. And in the interest of extreme drama, and making every single thing a huge OMG! issue, the girls are acting sort of befuddled about what to wear to Jenna’s in-house event.

They literally have a choice of FOUR colors. Well, three, and khaki. And I am sure these ladies have a ton of black shit. They’re probably all going to wear black anyway so stop with the pretend confusion,

Let’s get the show on the road because I can hardly wait for more cheese discussion.

Erica and Jessel are on the phone and Jessle literally orders, and I mean ORDERS, barks to her husband, and not very nicely to “get me some wine” when she sees that Jessel has a glass of wine.

You have wine??? Now I need wine too !!

Literally, never have seen a dude move so fast. He got up so fast, my picture is even blurry.

Where do these bitches get these guys?? Do they have brothers??

Yes m’ lady, anything I can do for you to be further immasculated

******

So it’s Cheese/Metallic/Black/Khaki night at Jenna’s, and that is a charcuterie tray of all charcuterie trays, let me tell ya.

And her apartment – she certainly does not care about the trendy muted tones and ‘less is more’ memo when it comes to decorating, which I kind of respect. She jokes about the cheese tension. This argument would make more sense if there were some vegans or dairy free’s in the group, but surprisingly there’s not. You know how people that eat nothing try to make you feel guilty.

I’m not supposed to be talking about the cheese. I literally just had to go get some cheese though, I’m not going to lie.

Erin reminds me a little bit of Jennifer Aniston. And Jenna’s apartment is reminding me of Monica and Rachel’s apartment on Friends. I feel like I’m doing a lot of comparisons here to random shit. I guess because it’s New York, and it’s a new cast… I don’t know. Just roll with it.

And what did I say? They’re all wearing fucking black. Never give black as an option when you’re giving dress code orders.

So I did catch the more desired restaurant that the other ladies dined in that ditched Carmines. It was said a little slower this time – Casa Cipriani.

Erin, who does seem like she likes a little conflict, and needs her ass kissed, wants to get this out of the way straight away with Brynn and all of her disappointments.

Sai admits that she bailed, and seems to be what Erin wanted to hear. Not used to Housewives owning their shit, no matter how flipping petty it is, they never admit to anything.

Brynn arrives – also in black. So Umbah is the only one that didn’t wear solid black. She went off grid, and did animal print.

Brynn is literally frightened to have to answer to Erin about ditching Carmine’s and going elsewhere. She does seem to take things very personally. They didn’t like the spot you picked – get over it and move on with your life!

Erin is just really really dry. So she looks like Rachel, and has Phoebe’s personality.

They play a weird getting to know you question and answer game about porn, sex, and shopping. You know, the basics. The main food groups.

Rachel (Erin) thinks it’s now the time to roll out her disappointment in Brynn, whose dynamic seems like an older and younger sister type relationship. Erin being the older sister.

Not sure why Brynn seems so concerned with pleasing her.

Cheese talk, and I guess it gets resolved, I don’t know. I’m not even sure I get the cheese misunderstanding.

I vow to never discuss cheese again!!

Jenna the hostess, puts an end to it all, and you think it’s actually going to end, but Erin orders Brynn to the bedroom to finish the convo. I mean wow, this woman will NOT let it go. Between the cheese disagreement, and the restaurant, she NEEDS closure here. These are very important rich girl problems.

Erin orders Brynn to not be wishy washy. Brynn agrees, or pretends to agree, to make her shut up, as they lounge on a bed with tittie pillow shams. Can we get more New York?

I love your pillow shams, where did you get them??

I think Rachel/Phoebe really needs Kathryn McPhee/Mandy Moore’s fun loving personality to keep her from having a stroke. Like, she’s just so serious.

Brynn cracked a few jokes, and it was over. Now THAT’S how you handle a Housewife argument. Ladies, take notes.

They start ogling Jenna’s shoes, and closet, and end up donning some of her very funky pieces.

Then there’s some sequin intermingling with lace drama, as J. Crew Jenna just sits there laughing it off.

Your sequin is mixed with my lace…

Not meaning to make another comparison, but Ramona would have been on her 5th Pinot Grigio, torn the place apart, and proceeded to kick everyone out if those were her clothes getting snagged.

Lovin’ these chicks so much better!!

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