Jenna is having a lash event, where she has real normal people come in and try them, not models, and they will be included on the site. If I understood that correctly.
I probably shouldn’t jinx myself here, but this is one department I am okay in thanks to Mother Nature, God, the Father the Son the Holy Ghost, whatever spirit you are a believer of. I have great lashes, and am so thankful I don’t have to dick around with falsies! l They seem like so much work!
They are blonde so, mascara is my friend, but they’re really full and long. Yay me!! Just to support Jenna, I might check them out if I see them at Target and buy a box. I’ll give them to my daughter. Although she did inherit my lashes, she still likes to play around with falsies. I don’t know why. I always complain to her about it.
She invites Sai to accompany her as younger black representation, as Jenna clarifies. I’m sure she would have invited Ubah, (because Ubah is much cooler, and awesomer, and not an evil bitter bitch) had she not still been sick. I can’t fathom that she really wanted to have Sai there. And later we see why.
If I can be honest for a sec, I had no idea, until she started with the cornrows a few eps ago, that she was black, or identifies as black. I might have even said I thought maybe she was Italian, since her skin is darker. But then I was thinking no, or she would have been talking non stop about being Italian. Just from being a Housewife aficionado that I think I am, the Italians and Jews, they seem to like to let you know, a lot, and often. Any type of event or occurrence in their life, they somehow manage to get in there about being Jewish or Italian. Well, my bad. Now I know. Nothing about her features looks black, honestly. Is that okay to say??
Well whatever her race or ethnicity is, I don’t care if she’s green, and identifies as a martain, the more I watch, the less I like her. And she didn’t disappoint this episode.
“Girl better have eaten because I’m not feeding her.”
Jenna is funny.
All kidding aside though, is this like the first event where she didn’t walk in and demand food, complain about the food, or stuff food in her face immediately? Is it the poor upbringing thing I wonder? Bad manners? No food in the bougee brownstone? It’s honestly getting really really old and boring as fuck. And not at all funny. It’s giving — trying too hard.
Come up with another schtick, Sai.
One of Jenna’s customer/models, seriously looks like Sai, except darker. I mean exactly, and Sai sort of has unique features. I would look into this if I were her. She’s much cooler than Sai though.
Jenna being, you know, so Jenna, so sweet and authentic. Salt of the earth, as I deemed her last week, shares with another customer/model to ease her nerves, since she doesn’t come off as super flashy and loving to be the center of attention, that Jenna is not her real name. It comes from her brother, being how brothers are – called her ‘genitalia’ when she was a kid. So she derived ‘Jenna’ from that, when she was put on the spot about a nickname. Okay so with all due, that story IS odd. But whatever. It was embarrassing and she shares it to help someone laugh and feel at ease.
Sai claims to appreciate the ‘vulnerability’ which is mean girl Housewife code, for when they spy a weakness, and will definitely use it against them at some point.
I’m disappointed in Sai. I liked her, and it may sound dumb, because I identify with my fellow small petite ladies. So I wanted to like her. But no – cannot identify with her. At all. She came off fun, cute, and carefree, in the first episode and sucked me in.
Now she can eat a dick. I think she’s an idiot.
Then this, as she sit in her yap in this awful ill-fitting unflattering garment that I guess someone gave her for free to wear for her yaps- “but you’re telling your secrets to a complete stranger because you can’t tell your friends.” as she smiles sinisterly. So you knew damned fucking well here that she was going to use it against her. And maybe she doesn’t consider you bitches her friends. I’m sure her actual friends do know.
“Everybody needs to know.” Wow bitch, just wow. Hey, where are your boobs???
Jenna big mistake – huge! Inciting this little garbage can to try to embarrass you with it. Boot her trashy dumb ass outta here!! I think she needs fed!
Again her fashion display at this event is disappointing as fuck. Not sure what she was going for but it sucks.
******
Jennifer Aniston and Tom Hanks have a scene, where she is drinking red wine, with ice in it. Is this like $6.00 Riunite or what??
Long story short, (I’m having to start over since my article didn’t save on my computer when I had to stop ¾ of the way through.) Erin thinks a good time was had by all, at their vow renewal, where there were no vows, no one had a vow, no one bought a vow, they just told each other how wonderful the other one was. Her phone is blowing up with ‘everyone’ telling her how much fun they had. Yeah, no.
She can’t believe that the ladies were talking during the ‘vows’ as Jay Leno reported to her. Tom Hanks asks, “is THAT who that was?”
So in that huge echoing 800 year old cement building, full of hundreds of people, he ‘heard’ four ladies talking amongst themselves, from what, 300 – 400 feet away, at least??
Dude everyone was talking! The eight ‘speeches’ where your friends basically went up there and talked about themselves for 20 minutes each, were boring as fuck. Oh, not to mention inaudible.
So by the time you two were reading your (not) vows, everyone was bored shitless, probably had a buzz on, and ready for this shit to be done!!
He then snitches on Brynn’s flirtation with him, which was a little inappropriate, but on brand. He did find it humorous he admits, but weird too. He owns that he laughed. Erin is livid and ‘vows’ to address this with her, as well as Sai storming out, without saying good-bye.
Side note – why is her kid wearing a winter coat in the house? Are they too cheap to tun the heat up? Too cheap to pay for their own party, and too cheap to heat their house?? Okay.
******
Jessel and Pavil have a date night.
Pavil: It’s a really cool little area.
Jessel: This area?? She has no fucking idea. She’s lived in the city for like ten minutes at this point. And I guess wasn’t getting out much. Maybe it’s ‘up and coming’ just like Tribeca.
Her comments make it pretty obvi she hasn’t lived in NYC for very long, and just moved here for the show. Poor Pavil had to leave the area where his company is headquartered, sell their huge house, work from home every day, and be stuck in an apartment with Jessel, two toddlers, and her parents. The poor guy probably feels like his head is in a vice, and Jessel is insisting on having another child from the frozen embryos. A girl of course.
But he could speak up, so I don’t feel that sorry for him. I feel like he’s just going to wake up one day and fucking explode. Or just leave.
Jessel is such an asshole. She criticizes her mom for not getting up at 6am to deal with her kids, and she has to do it. Is this bitch for real? That poor mom, is also, like Pavit, probably so miserable having to live with Jessel.
They flash on that horrific scene where she was yelling at her mom and Pavil to wipe the finger prints from the table, as her mom was making dinner. So embarrassing as one of her first impression opening scenes. I think that viewers may have immediately turned on her for that. How fucking disrespectful, as your mom is cooking your fucking dinner, and you’re 43 years old. Wipe you own goddamned table off woman, and shut up.
So they have a nanny, and her parents living there, and she still sits here in her yap, and complains that she has to ‘wear so many hats’ to care for her twin toddlers. The babies that she wanted. That she was desperate to have. That she went through three rounds of IVF to have, and spent almost 100 grand. AND, she wants to have one more.
I think Bravo has to kind of edit out shit that makes these ladies sound completely unrelateable. Or maybe they leave it to embarrass them.
Pavit (I keep getting his name wrong – if you see it as Pavil or Pavik, you know who I mean) reminds her that it’s good to have her there helping, and yes, they still have a nanny, but isn’t it so nice to have your mom waiting on us hand and foot?
I paraphrased. I don’t think Pavit meant it to come off like that. I think he was wanting to make her feel somewhat appreciative.
I suspect that he likes her there as sort of a buffer, since Jessel is insufferable.
When she says in her yap “God bless all you twins mom…” I guess she’s giving a shout out to all of the poor basic bitches that don’t have a nanny and their mom as a live-in maid, cook and additional babysitter. Gee thanks Jessel. Thanks for your shout-out to the peasants.
Poor Pavil does not want to have another child to this woman. But as we see, he as zero say, in anything whatsoever. They discuss how she needs to tell her mom that she went through IVF to have the twins. Pavil calls the kids not ‘natural.’
******
Brynn, Brynn, Brynn dear, please explain why this dude is your ex??
He’s adorbs, he’s loaded, he’s a gentleman, he has this cute Irish accent? Are you kidding me? is he single? I need to look into this. There are just NO nice decent guys in my area. They all have a plethora of mommy issues, money issues, abandonment issues, common decency issues, don’t know how to date, no idea how to treat a woman issues… It’s ridiculous.
Kind of surprised he would be on Tinder. Her I would expect.
Anywho, looks like they’re still friendly. He’s still into her. He lights up when she walks in the door.
They’re meeting at a vintage car sales store, and he’s looking to purchase a $475,000 vintage Bentley. Not sure if he was for real contemplating buying this car or blowing smoke up this poor dude’s ass? I mean, there’s no warranty.
******
Jessle and her mom go to lunch. Mom right away, without hesitation, orders a spicy margarita. That’s my kind of mom! Poor woman needs it, being Jessel’s free maid and nanny 24/7, listening to her bitch about fingerprints, and not getting up at 6.
Mom makes a reference to how annoying she is. Jessel – “you’re perfect right?”
OhmiGod typical narcissist comeback when you attempt to tell them how fucking annoying they are. Someone needs to tell them that there IS a happy medium between being perfect, and being a complete pain in the fucking asshole, and impossible to be around, without getting bitched at and belittled. She claims to have this great relationship with her mom, but it doesn’t seem like they can really stand each other. Maybe I’m wrong.
And she wonders why the poor woman doesn’t emerge from her quarters until as late as she can possibly get away with. Jessel is disrespectful and ungrateful as fuck. She then bitches at her for wearing her hair short. Is this woman for real? Her mom needs to tell her to shut the fuck up, or slap her upside the head. Her hair is fine.
Whatever, she tells her about the IVF process and how difficult it was, and wah wah wah. Can you imagine how bitchy this woman was when she was doing the hormones and going through this process? Her mom should be glad she wasn’t around, and didn’t know.
******
I don’t know about these ladies’ fashion choices. I’m trying to be on board, and give them the benefit of the doubt, that maybe it’s such ‘high fashion’ that I’m not getting it. But I don’t think so. I can usually pick up on that, and appreciate that vibe. I just feel like I’m watching Jersey on steroids, really.
Wreath making event that Brynn is hosting for all of the ladies to help her with the Christmas spirit thing.
I do see that Brynn seems to bring a smile to Jessel’s face. Honestly it’s the only time we see her animated, and not scowling and looking constipated. Animated, not constipated. That’s what we’re going for. Brynn seems to be the one to do it.
“When you’re around Jessel, you feel loved, when she’s happy to see you she’s truly happy to see you.”
Yeah okay, seems like she is never happy to see her husband nor mother. “She doesn’t take herself seriously. She’s lighthearted and funny and a space cadet.” I feel like Brynn is sort of describing herself here. Maybe it was a joke. Maybe it was describe-my-friend-exactly-how-I-am day.
Can’t believe that this is the same Jessel she’s talking about. I think I said in one of my last articles, that she and Erin, both take themselves entirely too seriously.
Jenna arrives, and so far, no one is dressed Christmassy. At all.
Jenna gets shaded for bringing everyone gifts, because these women are unappreciative assholes. And why did no one else think to bring little gifts for everyone, since this is right before Christmas? I probably would have done the same thing as Jenna, maybe not to this extent, but you know, some little thoughtful gift. None of these other self-centered stingy assholes thought of it.
Sai walks in, who desperately needs to work on a ‘natural’ entrance. Producers, please help her out with that. Also wearing head to toe cream, no holiday color whatsofuckingever.
Jenna shades her in her yap for over dressing. Well, she’s thirsty. Not only is she hungry, she’s thirsty.
Sai immediately bitches about the snacks, requesting oatmeal. Sure Sai, yes there is fucking oatmeal. Oatmeal is often served at gatherings. Like this is getting old, right? It’s not just me?
Actually the egg and avocado toast looks good. No one else even cares about the food. They ate before they came, or just have manners. If they don’t like it, they just pass on it.
I can’t believe Ubah is still sick, actually. For three weeks? With covid?? She must have had the covid vaxes. Everyone I know that had it bad, got the vax, everyone I know that never had it, or had it mild, did not. Do with that info what you will.
Evil Sai coming out to play. She informs the ladies about Jenna’s ‘Jenna-talila’ story that she told to the young girl to make her feel at ease.
She probably didn’t want these ladies all to know. Jenna looks uneasy, but Sai does not care. This is what she wanted. Jenna gives her a death stare.
I like how the subtext says “I was bonding with Jenna…” Jenna says mm – unconvincingly)
But Jenna rolls with it, because that is the smarter thing to do with someone like this, instead of getting all excited, which is what they want.
Jessel, who’s name is Jessel, so okay, makes fun of her name being ‘Judith’ and laughs out loud in a condescending mocking way (which Judy is the nickname for – like not sure why Jenna didn’t just say that when pressed for a nickname.)
You can tell Jenna is just so irritated but trying to act not.
Now it’s a huge deal that Jenna’s not her real name, and they didn’t know. What is the Bravo bitches’ issue with that anyway? Who the hell cares? I’ve known a lot of women over the years that went by nicknames, or their middle names. I have a friend Alana, whose real name is Helen. Alana is her middle name. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out why she preferred ‘Alana’ over Helen. When she told me, I never felt like ohmiGod, I don’t know you! So immature.
Jenna manages to switch the convo to not having a middle name and wanting to have things monogrammed. Very sly. It works. These women are so fucking dumb.
Erin walks in, guns blazing. Not liking what she’s wearing either.
She attends this gathering clearly just to air her grievances with these ladies from her really bad cheap/free party that she threw, which is very Housewifey.
Fake ‘Hiiiii’s’ – everyone asks her what’s wrong. I hardly think anyone ‘ruined her party’ as she complains in her yap.
She addresses Sai first for leaving without saying goodbye
“I was hungry…”
Now it’s Brynn’s turn. These ladies are so funny. When they’re put on the spot with the direct quote of something that they said, I don’t think they’re meaning to lie, they just don’t remember. But they’re always so adamant that they didn’t say THAT!! It’s such a Housewife thing.
Brynn insists that she didn’t say ‘divorce’ when she was teasing Abe. Jessel backs her up. But honestly, to sit and nit pick whether or not she said ‘divorce’ as if it’s this taboo term, is so ridiculous, and isn’t the issue.
Erin is pissed that she was flirting with him. That’s the issue, if you want to call it that.
If Brynn was trying to get Erin to leave, “the party was fucking boring” seems to do the trick.
They all start chanting “Erin come back, come back…” not very compelling. She needs to leave. She aired out her issues with the girls – time to move on. Anyway, isn’t she Jewish? Why is she here making a Christmas decoration anyway?
Surprised she doesn’t point that out when someone said – “Merry Christmas!” on her way out.
I don’t know why Brynn keeps insisting that she wasn’t flirting with Abe. She definitely was, however it was in kind of an ‘in jest’ kind of way. That’s what she needed to say. Not “oh I wasn’t flirting, I didn’t joke about divorce…” She was, and she did.
Whatever, I’m sure they will get a divorce at some point, as all of the Housewives do. Plus, she did the dreaded vow renewal (sort of) thing. Maybe she’ll get lucky, and escape the curse since they technically didn’t recite vows, either time.
She calls Abe from the sidewalk. And now he seems to be jumping on the ‘earth is coming to an end over this’ bandwagon, and calls Brynn a bitch.
Wasn’t he just telling her it was fine, and she was joking when they were at home discussing it? We can see the kind of househusband he’s going to be. Loving to get in on the drama, and exacerbate the arguments.
Jenna distributes her gifts, and there’s a lot of genuine sounding thank you’s, however they’re all snarky in their yaps.
Sai tells her – “your sponsored gifts are really nice.”
They FaceTime Ubah, and she immediately asks about the food. No one even touched those egg avocado toast things. It was only a little brown.
