Trying to make this a quickie but I’m pretty bad at that.
Erin got a new haircut that looks like ‘The Rachel.’ Now she really looks like Jennifer Aniston. It looks cute though, and healthy.
She did this in solidarity of her mom, who is going through chemo for breast cancer.
Ubah meets them to shop for a wig in the event she starts to lose her hair.
We’re apparently STILL. Arguing. Over this Uber payment.
We do find out later in the ep why Erin was so salty over the non-payback. It’s kind of what I said last week, not to brag that I was right. That she was the one experiencing difficulty or she wouldn’t have been worried about it.
Erin starts crying about Abe “not being there for her, and piling it on” It did seem like he cheated on her but we find later I was wrong. Well, let me not be so quick to say that – maybe I was wrong.
He could have still cheated and we just don’t know it yet. Anyway, her mom has breast cancer and she’s fucking crying about bitcoin.
Erin’s mom shows off the wig she chose that looks exactly like her natural hair and is probably like a $2,000 wig. Ubah tries too hard to be funny. She’s not that funny.
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Jenna and Sai meet for various beverages. What’s with Housewives ordering two beverages simultaneously? Other than maybe having a water I don’t think I’ve ever ordered two different drinks at the same time.
Jenna gets two things that don’t even go together. An Arnold Palmer and iced latte. Like pick one. So weird. Lemonade on top of an iced coffee with milk? Ick.
What also doesn’t go together is Sai and Jenna even meeting up. Sai does actually hate Jenna because Jenna is cool, confident and successful. Everything Sai is not.
Yes I know Sai is an influencer before some idiot tries to correct me that she has a money-making thing.
Her main source of income is that she got bent over a desk by a married man in the back of a bar. Let’s stop acting like this isn’t important to her story. It is.
They small talk and it’s pretty phony but okay. Jenna is far too nice. Is Sai ordering food? What’s up with that?? Not once did she say she’s starving and no food has been even discussed.
She so unrealistically looks at Jenna with a straight face and says “I like you and I enjoy our conversation.”
Okay Sai. Settle down. Laying it on thick like that lets us know you’re fucking lying.
Who talks like that? Who says that?? I guess some phony ho on a reality show that can’t stand the person they’re told they have to converse and hang out with.
Sai really thinks she handles rejection well??
I feel like Jenna knows she’s blowing smoke up her ass and is playing along. She has a new Bentley to pay for.
I should have said this last week: Sai calling Brynn a ‘gas lighting narcissist’ was rich. I see she learned a few new fancy buzz words in therapy.
I think the so-called therapist forgot to let Sai know SHE most likely has narcissist personality disorder which causes all of her erratic behavior and tantrums.
Or maybe if you want to go by my therapist theory, she doesn’t want her to know. I’m sure the therapist thinks it’s far more fun to have her looking like a fucktard and running around calling everyone else one.
They discuss her strife with Brynn.
I will say Brynn is acting really extra and so odd.
Speaking of witch, she’s up next with Erin dropping by to talk through their petty arguments.
As I said Brynn is acting so odd and really kind of cold. Erin comes to the door and Brynn can’t get her ass up to greet her. She leaves the door ajar when she hears her ringing in and purposely sits on the couch pretending to look at her phone.
“What’s up?” She keeps saying.
I forget why they’re even arguing to be honest.
Oh yeah – Brynn’s mad about the Jeff Lewis sugar-baby thing.
You know what I don’t get, is why doesn’t Brynn just set the record straight? She acts so annoyed at the inference she may be ‘a kept woman’ or a whore or however you want to put it, however doesn’t say – ‘I do this – and this is my career, and this is how I make money.’
But she doesn’t, so what does that lead us to believe? That she does open her legs for money.
And don’t call Erin a ‘Staten Islander!’ She’s a born and raised city PERSON. Brynn ridicules that which she definitely deserved.
Brynn explains the origin of her telling Jenna what Erin said about her alleged money problems. Oh yeah, we’re mad about that too.
Erin starts breaking down about her mom and Brynn just sits there looking at her and can’t even give her a hug or anything.
These New Yorkers are some cold ass bitches. Like she can’t even get her a fucking tissue.
Oh no Brynn does NOT pour bubbly into a wine glass! What would Dorit say??
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Jenna, her assistant, son and her friend go ‘rock’ climbing. And that’s about all there is to say about that. All three ladies look exactly like. Did they try that?
Well apparently Jenna’s doing okay financially, because she treats herself to a new Bentley.
I’m finding it hard to believe Jenna’s gray Kmart sweats are a fashion statement but apparently they are.
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Erin and Tom Hanks have a date at a very New Yorky spot. We learn about this phantom ‘betrayal’ which I thought was cheating, and turns out to be a sale of bitcoin situation that he didn’t consult her on.
Didn’t think bitcoin was even worth anything anymore. Should have held onto mine. Guess I got bad advice from someone I thought knew what they were talking about. Should have known better. Loading trucks and banging whores is about his current speed and knowledge. Oh yeah – he knows how to talk a big talk. And people actually believe him. Hilarious.
She’s actually brave enough or stupid enough to host the group in her Hamptons home again. Hopefully she learned from all of the bitching about her poor hostessing skills (not enough food, heat not working) and will step it up. Weren’t they bitching about wifi too?
Well as she continues to talk I see no, she did NOT learn. There is a new kitchen being installed as they speak and there may not water. Nice. Please just feed Sai and remember she’s a vegetarian. (which probably contributes to always being hungry and yelling – lack of protein)
Erin is queen of the strange inappropriate comments when she’s trying really hard to sound cool.
Last year it was “bring on the gaaaaaays” into their bedroom to spice things up.
Said no one ever. Like since when is that a thing, involving a gay guy in a straight couple’s sexy time?? It’s usually a second girl for that, Erin, NOT a gay guy. Jesus that was embarrassing. Who was the gay guy for? Tom Hanks or you ?
After that strange solution to future intimacy problems, this season we find out she was being flown all over the universe in PJ’s when she met and settled for Tom Hanks.
She bitches at him for other financial issues he was ‘hiding’ from her.
Apparently if I’m following these two weirdos correctly, he feels pressured or obligated to give her the life in which she’d become accustomed. That’s why he sold the bitcoin. ???
What kind of woman throws that in her husband’s face? “Oh yeah I had filthy rich guys falling all over me and offering me money and jewels until you come along – now look what I’m stuck with. wah wah wah.’
He’s not a warehouse worker, he’s an attorney isn’t he?
He does make a face like ‘did you seriously say that?’ But Tom Hanks is taking it pretty well. Erin looks very pleased with herself for announcing that.
Why do they love so much saying that they ‘barely knew each other’ when they got married?? They dated for like two years I thought they said. Were they not talking at all?
I feel like they’re the type of people that always have to point out that they’re so exceptional, when really nothing about them is what I would call exceptional.
They wrap up with her scolding him “you need to continue to prove yourself…”
Wow woman. What’s being said on social media is it seems beyond hypocritical giving her criticism of Brynn possibly accepting ‘gifts’ from rich men.
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Since Ubah pointed out she’s a little chunky, now I can’t unsee it.
She and Sai meet at a boutique. Ubah apparently needs an outfit to go to The Hamps in the off-season. Remember how ridick they looked last year walking into a diner dressed like high-end prostitutes?
I don’t know about that wig. Will I get dragged to no end if I say I wish she’d just wear her natural hair. I don’t know what she’s trying to prove with this look. Stop working so hard to be perceived as a certain ethnicity. Just be you.
They bitch about Brynn. Everyone is bitching about Brynn. Could this be on purpose?? I don’t know!
Why are we taking a fucking heli to The Hamptons. That would be a cold day in hell for me. Hello? Koby Bryant and his daughter, and like 13 other people??
Doesn’t seem like anyone is really into it. Ubah nor Sai want to go on it.
Since we’re constantly doing some sort of advertising on baseball caps and T-shirts now on Housewives, (which is getting annoying) I noticed during her chat with Erin she had on a ‘Blades’ baseball cap, and here we are at the heli pad, and the name of the helicopter outfit is ‘Blades.’
I’m assuming these bitches are getting compensated to wear this shit, and they’re paying Bravo to have them zooming in on the name. That’s my assumption.
Rebecca Minkoff was not worried about flying and apparently Jessel who seems disheveled as usual.
So Brynn’s asshole-ness is showing as she sits and laughs at Jessel struggling to get in the door carrying her shit.
Then she makes fun of her ‘crop top.’
This is strange coming from a girl who just wore a thong under a sheer dress for a semi-formal event.
‘Let’s Blade Skanks!!’
Brynn stole my word. (That’s MY thing!!) That’s my go-to to describe the ho-hag-tramp that my ex is banging. Because she IS one. He knows it too, but he doesn’t care. She’s convenient and handy. And it’s starting to get dark earlier so that’s good for him I’m sure.
Moving on, do we als think Brynn is a little bit of an alcoholic?? They whine about Sai who claimed to be so together and zen and already had a meltdown in Ep 1.
They call Jenna who never officially declined the heli ride and is driving in her new Bentley. I’m sure this will turn into a whole thing now like the first class thing last season with these Petty Betty bitches.
Jessel was working her flowy outfit in the heli breeze until she trips.
Cameras keep zooming in on the ‘Blade’ logo on the helicopter. Okay guys WE SEE IT WE GET IT. Next time I decide to take a helicopter somewhere to avoid a two hour drive, I’ll be sure and take a ‘Blade.’ Fuck.
Do one of Brynn’s sugar daddies own this or what??
Brynn drills new girl Rebecca about being into Scientology. She does it in kind of a not very tactful way. She seems to be trying really hard this season.
If people ask us about it what do you want us to say?”
If ‘people’ ask? I would think they would ask her directly. Why would Brynn be asked about a new Housewife practicing Scientology?
Rebecca tells Brynn to say ‘no comment.’ Suddenly Brynn and Jessel are ‘publicists?’
Thought Brynn was a marketing genius and Jessel did fashion?? I don’t think these ladies even know what the hell they do.
You can feel the tension which is what Brynn was wanting to accomplish.
I honestly couldn’t care any less that this broad who we don’t even know, is a Scientologist.
If she wants to be sucked into a cult, then let her go.
Jessel has to pee and puke. That would be me.
Looks like from previews Hamptons goes as we would expect.
Please just make sure Sai has a sandwich.
