“You look like shit!!” “No, YOU look like shit”
Really ???
Teresa and Margaret argue about all of the affairs of the various cast members. First Bill, then she blames her Evan cheating blab on Margaret. (because Teresa ALWAYS has to blame someone)
Luis this and that – whatever whatever…
Teresa makes no sense, and has the arguing capabilities of a four year old.
“I heard it from you, but I didn’t say I heard it from your mouth …” okay Teresa, glad we cleared that up !!
And who the hell is Serena? Teresa gets caught in a lie about putting Jennifer up to the Evan digging. It’s evident in her face and body language. Jennifer tries to smooth it over by telling her — “it’s okay !!! It’s not your fault, I don’t blame you !! “
She then deflects to what Jackie said about Gia to show Teresa how it would feel if someone gossiped damaging info about HER family. And it honestly wouldn’t surprise me that Gia tried coke. I mean, this is her mother, and how she behaves in front of zillions of people.
Dolores: “why didn’t you say, for example??” (in an argument from ONE YEAR ago)
I don’t know Dolores, maybe because Jackie was in the moment and upset and didn’t think to say “for example” when she tried to give this neanderthal a taste of her own medicine. They scream about using ‘analagies’ and the definition for like twenty LONG minutes.
Teresa Guidice really dumbs down this entire show. And that’s saying a lot because this is Housewives. If we’re to be honest, there is some brain cell loss watching these shows to begin with, but Teresa and her mental slowness, of which she has NO CLUE of, really takes ‘mindless entertainment’ to a whole new level.
Margaret: I’m really hungry.
Teresa is thankful because of course, due to her piss poor communication skills and limited vocab, she’s losing the argument that she started.
But no, i gave her too much credit. She continues the argument, yapping about her love bubble and being ‘all about love’ and others bringing her down and talking about her, after there was just a whole entire argument that she lost, (but she’s too dumb to even see that) about HER interference and spreading rumors about OTHER’S lives and marriages. Literally no one is listening to her. Everyone is trying to ignore her,
Teresa bitches to Traci about Tiki ‘talking about Luis.’ (Oh my God – the end of the world)
“Did I stutter?” Teresa says. (I haven’t heard THAT comment in around 30 years. Don’t think we should say that anymore, Teresa.) No you didn’t stutter, your voice is annoying as FUCK, and Traci and everyone else, was tuning out your nonsense rambling.
.Read the woods.
“Nobody needs to ask questions that will hurt me or my boyfriend.” Yes she says this, without realizing you-know-what.
Then she blames Margaret for his ex’s saying that he’s abusive.
Teresa: “maybe YOU’RE talking to the ex’s and that’s why it’s out now.” So did she just admit that he WAS abusive to ex-girlfriends?? And she’s just mad it’s out ???
She’s getting so cranked up over this, she’s jumping up and down and looking like she’s having a fucking stroke.
Why doesn’t someone turn this around on her ? Remember last year when she was chastising and ridiculing Jackie for being “so upset” if it wasn’t really true ??? Hmmmm, and what are we seeing here?
Teresa SCREAMING AND JUMPING AROUND, that they’re discussing HER relationship and Luis’ sketchy past. “She’s in an amazing love bubble…”
Teresa is seriously NUTS. After she screams at everyone at the top of her lungs like a lunatic, she exits with “ I’m leaving, I had enough of this shit.” Then calmly – “Listen, all of your names are on the gift bags, it’s my workout line!!!!…”
With that she waddles away. Thank God. My ears were bleeding . Someone having a “work out line” should look like she works out. (‘just sayin’)
Well one last word, she screams at Melissa to “make sure they’re not talking about her.”
Marge just continues to eat.
Teresa is just TOO freaking stupid to realize, that if she wanted to use this activity to promote her stupid “work out line” (and expected them to wear this shit to Dolores’ event) maybe she shouldn’t have been fighting and screaming at everyone?
Melissa is having a Sweet 16 for Antonia. Good thing the poor girl tore her ACL cheering, I don’t know what else Melissa would talk about. Hopefully Antonia is on the payroll for this at least.
She fills in Joe about Teresa’s eratic/normal behavior at the retreat. She also makes fun of her sudden switch to civility when she tells them all about her stupid “gift bags.”
Teresa is packing her house up. Boo freaking hoo.
Gia talks in her yap about her ‘childhood home’ being sold because it’s the last memory she has of her Dad. I can relate to this because I was also upset about my ‘childhood home’ (and that’s exactly what I called it) that my parents sold three years ago, but save the pity me rhetoric about your dad. He sent your mom to jail, then proceeded to scream at her and blame her for everything. Another shitty narc dude that chicks get all choked about when they don’t deserve it. “
Teresa tells Gia about the girls saying things about Luis that “aren’t true” Gia looks at her like – “are you sure they’re not true?”
Dolores as usual, a crop top, and these star leggings AGAIN ??? Looks like she bought them at Walmart in the Juniors dept. Is she getting paid by the label to wear these at least ? She and Frank are seriously playing “let’s see if we can hit the ball” in a 10 X 10 yard with all of these vehicles in close proximity ??
So IT NOW ALL MAKES SENSE, why David wants to interact with her family (Frank) and not Dolores David, dude, come out of the closet! It’s okay! Stop wasting bitches’ time !!! Maybe if he comes out, Terry DuBrow and Rynnnnnne will have the nerve to do so too. i think they would make a great throuple !!!
Dolores talks to Frank about her breast cancer scare, and the baseball charity event she is hosting. Her friends play against “the doctors.” She fills in Frank about “Treescape, which quickly became the “Tre Show” and her typical moronic behavior.
Back to Teresa talking to Gia about it, (in a fake staged convo much like Frank and Dolores playing baseball two feet away from parked cars) and Teresa literally does not have the foresight or common sense to see how idiotic it was of her to scream at everyone at the event when (her quote) “half the reason she went there was to give the girls my work out line.” Half the reason.
She goes on that she’s selling the line (how about say specifically what it is, and stop referring to it as “the line”) at the event, and donating “some of” the proceeds to charity. Sure, you are Teresa. “ “Some of” is probably like $10, so I guess it’s not a lie.
She totally makes it embarrassingly obvious that she is now promoting this crap in this scene.
“My new work out line, that I’m coming out with…” Okay we get it. Again behaving like a brainless hypocrite and neanderthal probably wasn’t the way to go to get people to wear it.
Jackie meets with her therapist. The things she’s saying makes me feel like she really is taking this seriously. I wonder about women with anorexia that have kids and how they dealt with that being pregnant, and gaining weight. Not to mention your appetite does increase, and you literally feel light headed and nauseous when you don’t eat when you’re pregnant. She never really talks about how she got through that.
She discusses with Evan her session. They have him in a yap thing expressing his frustration. She never wants to take longer than a four day vaca, and she has to call ahead to restaurants to make sure they serve “steamed vegetables?” His frustrations are really coming out here. Making me further convinced he did cheat on her. Anyway, he says he wants to “travel the world, and eat what he wants, that’s living, and it’ a cloud over our relationship” I guess you can see how being married to someone with these food issues could bring you down also. His yap is much different from how he is speaking to Jackie. When she asks it it bothers him, he talks about it being unhealthy, but in the interview, it’s more about how it’s inconvenient for him. Typical dude. But I can also understand the frustration. Yes, it is fun and romantic, and helps build connections to sit with your sig other and share a meal, without having to see panic on their face. I hope this does help her. She is concerned about gaining weight, which is part of the illness. He kind of gives her a deer in the headlights look, as if that hadn’t occurred to him.
Bill and Jennifer have a date night. She is sucking down her margarita. They’re my fave too so I don’t blame her. Apparently we’re having the ‘filling in the husbands’ segment of the show. Jennifer encourages him to ‘get back with the guys.’ She says their 19th anniversary is coming up, and it’s 20 years since they met. Bill says “20 long years” and doesn’t appear to be joking. Jennifer orders a second, and is feeling her margs and tells Bill, “well if we get divorced now, I get half, suckaaaaaaaa!!!”
Bill tells her it’s not helpful to bring up unhappy moments. Jennifer points out that she doesn’t want to end up like her mom and be resentful because she felt forced to stay in an unhappy marriage.
She opens up to him about how pissed off she is about his affair, and he tries to brush it off that it was “many years ago.” Jennifer is not having that lame ass excuse, and she’s like “I don’t give a shit!! I was home caring for YOUR kids with another on the way, and you were out doing your thing with no consideration!”
You can tell he’s not used to her speaking to him like this. And he’s definitely not used to her throwing this affair in his face. He made her suppress it all of these years. I guess he thought that she forgot about it ? She says when one party of the marriage checks out, it’s over. He’s looking super uncomfortable, but who feels bad for him? I don’t !! I think she may end up divorcing him.
Margaret talks to her assistant about her mom turning 75, and reads this kiss- ass text from Teresa begging them to wear her stupid leggings to Dolores’ charity event, and referring to them as her “stunning models xoxo.”
She calls Traci. They both make fun of her. Margaret is refusing to wear the crap, and makes a joke out of the “how is she going to learn” comment from Luis . Love that.
They all arrive to the softball event. Dolores is wearing this star leggings and sports bra outfit again.
Okay, I’m convinced she’s getting paid by the brand to wear this now. Much like the $3,000 Fendi bags they’re carrying constantly. Now I’m curious where it’s from. All of the ladies are tying their softball shirts as crop tops of course, since they all think they’re still 25. They gossip about how Teresa is expecting them to wear her stupid fitness crap after she was an asshole to everyone. Dolores of course, is desperate to defend her. She thinks the pants are too heavy, but she’s bringing her shorts. Whatever Dolores, just take off that stupid shit with the stars all over it! You look ridiculous!!
Teresa, Luis and Gia arrive. Immediately Teresa with the “MY WORK OUT LINE !!!”
Margaret says “we’re good.” and Teresa gets all pissy. Gia has to earn her pay, and inserts herself in this, when she has NO CLUE how horribly her mom treats everyone (but she should) and points out they’re wearing black leggings anyway, and she “supports you guys with everything …”
Gia sit this one out. Have you met your mom ? She supports NO ONE. EVER. She says not one nice thing about anyone, unless there’s something in it for her. I know you’re desperate for your “Housewife moments” but this isn’t one of them.
Melissa and Dolores dutifully change into her “work out line.” Why can’t she just call them leggings? Dolores says she’s getting shorts because the leggings are too heavy.
Bill is not participating of course. I don’t get why he’s hiding out. It’s like he doesn’t stand behind standing behind Jennifer if he’s afraid to be around them now? Jennifer is funny. I like her timing. In her yap , she’s like “I was hoping he’d change his mind, kinda owes me one …”
So they’re playing this group of docs, who apparently are avid softball players.
Tre points to the sign of her and Gia and says AGAIN —- “MY WORK OUT LINE” She’s literally like a robot – “My work out line, my work out line…“
Maybe she should actually work out, because she sure as hell didn’t look like it at “Treescape” when she was screaming at everyone.
Oh my God Teresa. Shut.it. If I hear “my work out line” one more fucking time!! We get it !! Anyone buys this shit after you hear her body shaming another woman, needs their head examined !!
So this game is getting underway. Thought Teresa was bringing Dolores shorts, so she wasn’t stuck with “these heavy leggings.”
Teresa says “did they score a touchdown?” Then asks Luis if her hair looks all right ?
Sure baby, the yellow extensions down to your ass don’t look stupid at all. Okay I made that up. It’s what he wanted to say though.
Oh Lordy, she did not get blessed in the brains department.
Joe and Jackie crash into each other trying to catch a ball. Then Jackie claims she has one that she does not even begin to have. Well Luis catches one with ease at least. Joe’s all excited, and starts climbing him.
Joe gets all defensive when Frank calls him 5’4” He claims he’s 5’7” which I don’t believe. He’s almost the same height as Melissa and Melissa I looked up is 5’5″. ( I always find it humorous that Italian dudes are really short, but Italian women are not. ) Like 5’5″ is not at all short for a woman, but for a guy, yeah it is. God’s cruel sense of humor i guess. Anywho — back to the game-
Jennifer hits the ball then proceeds to fall directly on her face. She blames her louboutin sneakers. I guess she didn’t think playing softball calls for wearing actual sneakers. Not “for show” sneakers. She deserves to fall on her face.
Well the red team is picking up some momentum.
Margaret is up to bat and Teresa says “if she was wearing my leggings her ass wouldn’t be so jiggly and she would hit the ball.”
She then proceeds to made fun of her for running a foul ball, when she literally just asked if the other team made a touchdown. “IT’s a foul !! it’s a foul. Oh My God !!!!” in her loud nasal stupid ass Teresa voice.
Tiki arrives to save the day. He makes a catch that is unbelievable.
Well the housewives and house husbands win it!
Someone on Twitter thought that the doctors threw the game. Oh well it was for charity. Dolores raves about everyone being on “good behavior”
Well except for your good friend Teresa, and her snarky comments to Margaret and Tiki…
