Guess you’ve all heard that there isn’t going to be a reunion. Canceled. This seems to be a thing now when they just don’t feel like dealing with it and/or trying to protect one someone. This someone would be Teresa. Andy is trying to say it’s because of a supposed ‘epic’ finale which serves as a reunion. Pahlease.
The real reason is all of this drama and leaked texts with Jennifer Aydin, Teresa and The Joker, and all of their behind the scenes antics.
By the way I’m in a bad mood.
What’s with Marge’s gypsy look? Did you see that hair color commercial she’s doing? She’s w hipping her hair all around bragging about her ‘platinum blonde’ hair and she’s obviously wearing a wig in the commercial. Come on people. That’s embarrassing. It’s like Teresa doing a commercial for
I’m bored with Dolores and ‘we’re this happy family even though we’re divorced…’ We get it. Frank’s been on the show since she has. We know their relationship. I think it’s her story line every year. That, and her boyfriends that don’t want to marry her.
I see Frank is still doing the Appletinis. Embarrassing. Dolores laughs, when he orders it. I see he called it a ‘green apple martini.’ It’s just as bad, Frank. Doesn’t help. You’re still a big burly guy ordering a very infamous girls’ drink that was popular in 2005. Last year I posted the recipe in my Bravo inspired recipe section. Hit link below if you want to be as cool and boujie as Frank!
She whines about living in Paul’s townhouse, because it’s not hers. She has a whole slew of excuses as to why they’re not looking for a house together. It’s hard to find a house right now (IS it?) and oh and he’s not even divorced. There’s that.
Frank shows off the ring. He’s proposing to Brittany. Who cares. He simulates the proposal to Dolores.
Melissa Danielle and Rachel have an outing with their sons and they gossip about Teresa. Because what else would they talk about?
Danielle talks again about not speaking to her dad and Melissa tells her she wishes she had her dad around. Why? He was a lying cheating piece of shit that used to disappear for days at a time. Really Melissa, no one cares about you fucking shit head dad. Literally no one.
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Jennifer and Teresa meet at Bill’s office for a facial. The receptionists make faces and snicker at Jennifer and her bad acting. Apparently she must not usually act this nice towards them. Just a guess.
I don’t really care about Jackie Goldschneider and her whining, do you??
‘I don’t care’ seems to be my theme of this recap.
I’m also not getting Danielle being invited to New York Fashion Week with her kids clothing thing. Did Bravo arrange that?
She invites Melissa to attend (not Teresa who’s supposed to be her bestie now.) Reasoning being that Melissa has been supportive of her clothing line has allowed her to sell items in her store.
Danielle has gotten the skinny on what that hair stylist chick said about her last week. Teresa says Jennifer was ‘impersonating’ her which is a big word for Teresa, and she pronounced it correctly even.
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Melissa and Jennifer meet to discuss their issues. You know, how Jennifer ran around telling everyone Melissa was cheating on Joe last season. Jennifer has a bunch of excuses that make no sense. She admitted at the reunion she talked about it because it was the assigned narrative, so why are we even having this discussion and hearing these excuses?
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Marge is still whining about her ex dying. I don’t mean to say no one cares again, but no one fucking cares. Nothing against this dude, but we don’t know him. He was never on the show. What we DO know is that Marge starting screwing around with Joe, their contractor, while she was married to Jan. So to me, this is just so utterly ludicrous to be listening to his shit.
And remember when she says ‘our kids’ they’re not ‘her’ kids, they’re Jan’s kids, whom she’s no longer close with because why? Uhhhh let me think about that. Maybe because she cheated on their DAD? Fucking their contractor in their own home while their house was getting renovated?? Talk about skanky.
And she wants us to feel sorry for her that the dude died suddenly? I feel bad for the family, not her. Where in the FUCK does she get off making it about her? And making it part of her ‘story line?’ And being upset that no one is babying her on the one year anniversary of an ex she cheated on. I’m flabbergasted. I am.
And what the hell is she saying ‘having Jan’ made her marriage to her side fuck, Joe better?? Marge if you feel guilty, say THAT. That would make sense.
What in the literal fucking fuuuuuuck is she TALKING ABOUT? Fessler and Melissa are also confused. Fessler asks if she was regretting leaving Jan now?
She says no, and chuckles, “he just made everything complete.” Fessler continues to try to figure what the hell she’s trying to say.
I don’t mean to be a smart ass but my GOD. I think it’s disgusting she’s making this her ‘thing’ and making it about her. Especially when it was a year ago. Especially when she cheated on him. I’m sure his kids hate her even more now listening to this shit.
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Danielle has a ‘bougie brunch’ to celebrate her upcoming attendance at New York Fashion Week.
Again, what she’s wearing is questionable, and that is all I’ll say. I’m trying to be less bitchy. Okay one more thing. Pull-up elastic pants are not recommended when you’re trying to make a fashion statement. Now I’m done.
I approve of Rachel’s dress.
Teresa arrives and the room immediately goes dark and cold. You can feel the gloom and doom through the TV. That sounds dramatic, but I’m serious.
She’s anxious as she sits down right across from Rachel which is funny. She fidgets with her hair.
Dolores has to answer the question if she ‘wants to marry Paul.’ Of course she does but she is dating an already-married man. AT LEAST they began dating when he was separated (for ten years.) There was no gross tawdry affair going on behind anyone’s back. You can tell it really annoys Dolores. She has a shit ton of excuses as to why he’s dragging his feet. He doesn’t want to be nasty? What the hell is that supposed to mean? What’s in the water in Jersey?? These ladies have no clue what they’re saying half the time.
We can’t just sit and eat. Danielle inquires to Jennifer about the shit-talking hairdresser and what that was all about.
But we somehow, and I’m not sure how, divert back to last season and Melissa possibly having a side dude.
I hate to say I don’t care again, but here we are. Jersey definitely needs a shake-up.
And you know who needs to be the first on the chopping block? Yes, sorry. Tre Stump and her fucking Joker of a husband. (Literally looks like The Joker) Hiring of PI’s and attorneys to find dirt on the ladies and their husbands to present on the show, manipulating story lines by feeding info to the gossip sites??
What is happening?? It’s not okay. I know it’s Housewives and there are little to no actual ‘rules’ but enough is enough with that dimwit. She’s not entertaining. I find myself feeling sorry for her. I don’t get how it’s possible she has actual ‘fans.’
I really have to wonder about those peoples’ level of intelligence. And what’s with her voice? It was always annoying, but she sounds like a 90 year-old chain-smoking man. No one’s allowed to bring up Joker and all of his fucking antics. She doesn’t want to hear it, she says. Because she’s in charge.
Jackie has the floor about Margaret and I don’t care. Why is Jackie here?? Why?? This woman was actually admirable in her first season. She was confident, spoke intelligently, and put Tre Stump in her place without even batting an eye.
Now she’s this pathetic ‘pick me’ and crying about being ignored, as she reassures the table she’s ‘going to do whatever she wants to do and will be friends with whomever she wants to be friends with.’
Okay Jackie. You do that. Things six-year-old’s say for a thousand, Alex.
The more she keeps reassuring us how she’s ‘her own person’ and not answering to anyone, the more she looks like she’s not her own person and IS answering to someone. And the someone would be Bravo. She desperately wants her full-time spot back. She’s embarrassing herself. And all of this selling her soul to Bravo and pretending to ‘love’ Tre Stump was for nothing because the shit’s getting canceled or revamped pretty sure.
Tre Stump cheers her on.
Oh My God.
Melissa makes faces.
Teresa is asked to be held accountable for the drug dealing comments made towards Fuda.
She looks at Rachel, and reassures her that the comment she made, was not meant to sound like she thinks that NOW. She meany when he was seventeen, he was the biggest drug dealer in all the land.
Rachel calls the remark slanderous and Tre Stump interrupts her and tries to cut her off.
She doesn’t want to answer to her behavior. She just deflects and changes the subject to something that makes no sense. Sounds like someone else I know.
“I’m not doing this.” I’m sure she doesn’t want to do this.
She tries to look away from Rachel which is hard when she’s sitting across from her. Rachel’s not letting it go. Good.
We all know Teresa cannot hold up her end of an argument. Especially when she’s guilty. Rachel brings up how she and Joker got this info from his ex-wife when they were digging around.
Her little posse there beside her know she’s fucked. Don’t see them jumping in on her behalf. At all.
Teresa is such a numb skull. She just keeps repeating “you brought up the ex.” I’m assuming she means last season? Yes Rachel was talking about his ex. But how is that relevant? Does that make it okay for her to get in touch with her to get tidbits to bring up on the show and embarrass him?? That’s her big argument. It’s all she’s got. She wants to do this shit but doesn’t want to answer to it.
She asks Rachel if Fuda is “a parking attendant?” What the fuck?
“My husband has built a life for himself what have you done you stupid bitch?”
“She’s young and stupid I’m not doing this.” Well ya walked right into what comes next.
“You’re old and stupid and a has-been.” And various other very accurate insults regarding what a waste of space this moron is.
You know she rarely gets put in her place like this and I don’t know why not. It’s so easy. She has no argumentative skills whatsoever. She calls Rachel immature.
That’s the pot callin’ the kettle black.
Everyone yells amongst each other.
Jackie again reassures the viewers and the table she is doing what she wants, no one is telling her how to feel, and if she wants to be friends with Teresa, as Bravo told her to do, she certainly will.
Teresa suddenly remembers one of her dawters has a volleyball game and abruptly leaves. Not before she grabs her free gifts though.
What in THE hell gets said next is fucking hilarious. Stupid Ass Minion Dolores ‘warns’ Rachel that she’s in trouble now! This is going to fester with Stump and next time she’s going to come after you!
Dolores shut the fuck up. Second-hand embarrassment right now for you.
As if Rachel is worried. “Who gives a fuck” she says. “She’s so incompetent and so emotionally stupid.” I know someone like that too!!
Exactly. You see what happened when she was confronted. She bumbled and mumbled and the best thing she could come up with is ‘young and stupid.’ OH NO! Teresa! Please don’t call someone young!! And her calling someone ‘immature and stupid’ is fucking – I don’t even have words.
Can’t make this shit up.
Jennifer sticks up for he friend: “She’s not the best at reiterating her thoughts, we all know that.”
That’s a nice way of saying she’s slow and stupid.
Now that’s a true friend.
Dolo doubles down on how Rachel should be ‘scared’ and sleep with one eye open. Okay DOLO DODO. She loves that phrase. I think she told Melissa that at last year’s reunion. Or the year before. Melissa seems fine.
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1 thought on “Real Housewives of New Jersey 6/2/24”
Why would these men marry Dolores? She sends out “I’m thirsty and desperate vibes. All that plastic surgery didn’t want the men to marry her, Judy collect an extra paycheck yo help in his and his wife’s brothels.