Already Joe and Melissa’s camp is dissing on Jennifer and Bill’s marriage, and the issues she confided in Jackie about. I think Jackie should worry about her own man. Jennifer makes a huge hot breakfast as Melissa cuts up strawberries. There is literally nothing on the table but strawberries. Don’t hurt yourself. (I think later it looks like they ordered in)
So they start talking about Danielle and the brother — and who is NOT bored with this? The brother – not even on the show, and we have no idea who he is. Adult siblings get into squabbles all the time. Especially when you throw in evil spouses, who for some reason make it their agenda to create problems where there are none. Jealousy I guess.
And we’re still also talking about Melissa’s mom not being invited to the wedding. Luis was going to personally invite her the previous night, but she had left.
Here we go, finally something juicy and worthwhile. The rumors about Joe owing Luis money gets explained. Joe gets another hair brain idea to go into business with Teresa. (He tried to open up a pizza shop with her like five years ago)
Teresa explains something about 250k that Luis put up to buy these crappy small ovens from China, and Joe wanted 50% ownership, but hadn’t put any money in. Joe explains that it was his idea, so he expected half ownership (if I’m following correctly) There’s also a nephew involved. I guess Luis’ son?
Okay so chintzy ovens were ordered, and boxes, and, blah blah blah. Joe learns that there was a photo shoot with Teresa and her daughters only. That sounds so Teresa. Any old photo op, and she’s there, pimping out her daughters…
So she renamed it ‘Skinny Pizza’ or ‘Skinny Italian’ Maybe? Think this was the name of her cook book from years ago. And no one wants pizza with the word ‘skinny’ in it. Also are we even allowed to say ‘skinny’ now??
Joe learns of this, and calls Luis up, who proceeds to give him attitude, since I’m sure he was being egged on by Teresa, as she was yelling in the background – “Did ya put up the money yet?” (Teresa voice)
Joe thinks the viewers were born yesterday, and tries to convince us in his yap that coughing up 200g was no sweat, but we have all been hearing differently over the past year, with this new house construction and how he didn’t pay people.
Melissa cries in her yap wearing, what I don’t know, that she seriously thought this stab at a pizza oven joint venture with Teresa and slimy Luis was going to be anything close to a success, and mend fences with Teresa and Joe, who do NOT get along at all. Like the morons couldn’t even get it off the ground. It’s sort of funny, kind of. Like what could go wrong?
Honestly I think it’s good Melissa and Joe don’t speak to Teresa anymore. It really is for the best. That woman is just impossible to get on with. Period. Reasoning with her is like beating your head against a wall.
While Joe and Melissa can be annoying in their own rite, they just cannot do anything right by Teresa, simply due to her extreme irrational jealousy of Melissa. And that’s the bottom line.
Now another party – at Rachel’s – Mermaid theme. And there seriously needs to be a mermaid chick on an inflatable sea shell flopping around. So tacky.
The guys discuss how Luis made some sappy Insta video about forgiveness.
Quick fashion moment – if Margaret is such a fashionista, and is in charge of dressing her husband, how come she kind of sucks at it.She has him in this mint green polo shirt. All he ever wears are those polo shirts. They don’t flatter him at all, due to his large stomach. And pastels? No, Margaret no. He needs casz button-downs like an UnTuckIT. In dark colors. Dark.
Danielle and Margaret discuss their issue which is, I don’t even know. Over the brother thing I guess. She’s pissed at Rachel, for sharing what she confided in her about Margaret’s ‘arsenal.
This arsenal talk is really starting to be a pain in the arse. Last week, no one knew what it meant, and this week every other word is ‘arsenal.’
She calls Rachel over who tries to explain about this ‘arsenal’ that Margaret has. This is like the ‘analogy’ of last season.
It’s not conversating, it’s conversing Danielle. Jesus these Jersey schools aren’t looking great right now.
Whatever the Jersey-correct verbiage is, Danielle is pissed off at Rachel for sharing their boutique convo with Margaret, about the arsenal, which Danielle adds that she doesn’t know how to spell. She’s tired of hearing it too.
And now Teresa: “He’s making a mountain into a mole hall.” Jesus Christ.
Luis pulls Melissa aside, and gets all dramatic and holds her hand and tells her how much he loves her mom.
Meanwhile Danielle gets hardcore harassed about her brother hating her. Jackie tells her “to just say it.” (the rest of the story – besides the Insta blocking and the argument that ensued)
I wonder if the brother and SIL are watching this and are like “yep, that’s pretty much it.”
Since Jackie’s just a ‘friend’ this season, she pretty much has the assignment of being The Shit Stirrer. And I guess this is the best she can do. Worry about a new cast member that has a weirdo egotistical brother, and a bitchy SIL. Imagine that.
Danielle storms off again. I feel like I’m having dejavu from last week’s show. This is an idiotic and uninteresting story line.
Dear Jackie and Bravo: NO ONE CARES ABOUT DANIELLE’S MORON BROTHER. AT ALL.
Teresa interrupts Luis talking to Melissa, and he tells her to get lost. Which was funny. She is not making any sense, just like he said. Does she ever? Why the surprise, has he met her?
Now Joe joins the party. What makes this all even funnier is that since Melissa and Joe ended up not going to the wedding, I assume her mom didn’t even go. At least I hope not. So all of this is for nothing. If she did go, I hope she had one hell of a time! Luis is acting really weird and intense.
Teresa goes into full Teresa mode as she starts screaming and insulting Melissa and her brother, and yelling at Jackie for grimacing when she referred to Melissa as having “daddy issues.”
The infamous pajama comment gets dropped. Luis keeps getting weirder and weirder to me.
Now Teresa joins this debacle, and Melissa leaves. Teresa claims all he had to do was tell her he wanted to invite her mom. Or Teresa could have just invited her in the first place. Who believes that anyway?
Then last season comes up when Melissa shouldn’t have been friends with Margaret, and Teresa didn’t stick up for Joe to Jennifer. Teresa, the worst communicator like EVER, leaves when she has nothing to say back to Melissa. She yells at Luis to “fix it” then she decides that Melissa should actually fix it, and it’s now her fault. It’s everyone’s fault but Teresa’s.
Teresa is just awful. Luis tries to reason with her. You can’t reason with a fuckin tard. Period.
What got resolved here ? Nothing.
