Guys return home from boys’ night. Wonder how many Appletini’s Frank ended up having?
I put the recipe up on my website – if you get a hankering, or have a 90’s party, or just wanna be like Frank Catania! Here’s the link:
Why does it look like there’s no grass around Rachel’s house? Maybe they just moved in.
Teresa’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard times 1000.
Okay, not that you asked, but here’s my take on this whole Teresa Joe shit, that I know we’re all fucking so sick of. How could you not be?
I kind of do see Joe & Melissa’s POV, & the statement they’re trying to make. (although I do find them sometimes off putting) When you have a friend or family disrespecting you & treating you badly, like Teresa is towards Joe & Melissa, because that’s how she is, then you tend to get defensive, & point out “hey but I did this for you, & helped you with this…” Not necessarily saying they saved her life or anything, or are looking for a pay back.
I don’t think they’re trying to say they were there every day helping with the girls or visiting them, but they were supportive of Teresa during that time. (jail) That’s the point. And Teresa just shits all over them non-stop.
Teresa never appreciates a friggin thing! THAT’S their point that I think a lot are missing – Teresa’s overall lack of gratitude for ANYTHING! Like can’t she just fucking ask Melissa to be a bridesmaid to show appreciation, or just do it as a nice gesture? She’s her only sibling’s fucking spouse. Like take the fucking high road already woman, Instead she takes the fucking subway. The absolute dirtiest rat infested subway. That’s Teresa.
Melissa and this “Joe’s so sexy for building my house” crap. Come up with a new one. She said like 5 years ago when they bought a lot and he was supposedly ‘building her a house’ but I think that’s when they started to run into financial difficulties, and that never happened, so they just stayed put. I actually thought that house was gorgeous, but I think they needed to sell to collect the equity.
This house is quite large but you can definitely see it’s basic AF, and he cut a lot of corners to build it as cheaply as possible. It looks like an apartment building, and for sure needed some statement windows. There’s also been a lot of buzz that he owes people money from the build job. Because no, he didn’t “build it himself.” I guess that’s an option when you’re broke and trying to build a cheap house. Hire people and don’t pay them.
Melissa and Joe can come off as really fake and trying too hard. My rant above does sound like I’m all team Melissa and Joe, but I’m really not. I think they have a very high opinion of themselves, kind of 2fame whores, and they think that everyone envies them. They got addicted to the fame and being on the show. Knowing Teresa and how she is, they certainly should have known that she would be unhappy to say the least, about them invading ‘her show.’ Especially with all of the attention Melissa was getting. They knew Teresa was jealous of her.
Small minded Teresa’s way of dealing with that was to lash out at them, and deliver jabs and insults towards Melissa. (sprinkle cookies, her clothes, horsey face) and act like they were terrible people. Are they annoying? Yes.
Are they terrible people? No. They would love to have a normal relationship with Teresa, I think they just wish she could act fucking normal for once. I know, their dynamic brings the drama, but it’s so like tired and enough already. And I agree with the Melissa and Joe haters, that they NEED to stop talking about her constantly.
For fucks sake, he carries her into the house so she doesn’t get her fucking shoes dirty. Of course she shows up to this scene in skin tight leggings and a crop top.
They discuss Joe and Louie’s spat on boys’ night. Melissa points out the ‘food on the table’ reference was used as the common phrase of working ‘to put food on the table.’
They helped out the family, by filming with Joe Guidice while Teresa was ‘away’ so he could earn some Bravo coinage, because literally there was no income coming in.
But, one might say, that I’m sure Bravo didn’t exactly have to beg and plead for Joe and Melissa to be filmed, whilst also making themselves look like Good Samaritans, and making the Guidices look kind of pathetic.
But as I said above, I think the only reason they’re even bringing this up, not trying to rub her nose in it, is because Teresa is just so fucking disrespectful, and even claiming they did nothing at all to help out the family during their separate incarcarations.
So that puts people in defense mode, and then they may feel the need to remind you “hey I have gone out of my way for you, how about just some normal human treatment?”
They do really need to stop with the podcast talking about Teresa. I am trying to see all sides here, and be somewhat neutral, because while I cannot stomach Teresa, it’s not like I have a boner for Melissa and Joe Gorga either. At all.
They DO need to get their own ‘thing’ and stop thriving off of Teresa’s dysfunctional personality.
I do think this woman is like actually in the true sense of the word ‘slow.’ Not to be mean and nasty, but let’s just call a spade a spade. Maybe in grade school she was in denial, and didn’t want to take the special classes that may have helped her.
Joe and Melissa need to learn to expect the asinine behavior from her, and just shake it off. Laugh behind her back, and shake it the fuck off. It’s not worth it. You cannot reason with that woman because she has no reasoning skills. That takes a certain amount of intelligence, and she’s just there. Even when you look at her facial expressions, it can’t be more obvious that the lights are on and nobody’s home. Nobody. IS. Home.
Melissa makes fun of her for misconstruing the ‘food on the table’ expression and blowing it completely out of proportion. I have an idea. How about they just take the high fucking road for once and shut the fuck up about it. Teresa does not give A SHIT.
Like, how she doesn’t ask Melissa to be bridesmaid, yet Louie’s sisters were included. And Melissa’s family not even getting invited, yet fucking Ramona is? That’s just so immature and childish. She doesn’t even see how she gives them a talking point and a legit bitch by doing this dumb shit. I think it’s sweet that her girls defend her no matter what, but they should see that she struggles in the thinking department, and tell her that she just exacerbates the divide and the strife with these childish little digs. Grow the fuck up. Those girls are so much more mature than she is.
Melissa should’ve called her bluff last week, and said “why yes I do want to be a bridesmaid” just to be a dick.
Ya know how when someone offers something they know you’re going to refuse, just so they can say they offered. That’s what that was.
Teresa tells Louie she’s ‘embarrassed’ by Joe. Oh please, SHE’S embarrassed by Joe? Teresa embarrasses herself and this family, every time she opens her fucking mouth.
Louie brings up the discussion of Joe’s disappointment of Melissa’s mom and sisters being snubbed from the invites.
I love when Teresa tries to look or sound insightful. Because the below is what you get. Lights on.
“If I’m not close to Melissa and didn’t put her in my wedding, why would I invite her family?”
Because it’s your only fucking brother’s family!
I don’t personally think that makes any sense whatsoever, but this IS SLOW THINKER TERESA we’re talking about. Melissa’s family has been PART OF YOUR FAMILY for 20 years you dummy.
It would have shown simple every day respect and manners to include them. You often include extended family like that in big weddings. The fact that you didn’t want Melissa as a bridesmaid to punish her for not ‘defending her against Margaret’ last year, does not mean you have to exclude everyone. It would have been a nice gesture, but Teresa knows NOTHING about etiquette and manners. At all.
I wanted to point out that when my brother got married the first time, they included my in-laws. Just because I guess we had been married for several years at that point and my brother acknowledged them as an extended part of our family. My mother in law, which we didn’t always see eye to eye, was so excited to have been included.
She looks like she’s going to have a fucking aneurysm as she tries to toss around in her mentality of a 4 year old’s mind, when Louie explains Melissa’s mom’s close relationship with Teresa’s parents over the years, and he’s probably right about that, Louie tells her. You have to give Louie SOME credit for at least trying to reason with this neanderthal. You do.
And then just when you think something halfway intelligent will come out of her mouth, she says “why wasn’t your family invited to Antonia’s sweet 16?”
Seriously, she’s trying to compare a teenager’s birthday party to a fucking huge lavish wedding? Back to me for a sec, my brother had a big thing for my niece’s 13th a few years ago, and sent ME, the actual sister, and aunt, a whole barrage of photos, and I was like, “well thanks for the invite.” They proceeded to get mad at me, and my brother was like “how dare you speak to Bo**** like that? Why would YOU be included??” Yeah thanks bro.
They have been married for several years, and have never included my sister or parents in ANYTHING that they do, and they often have big outdoor family get togethers during the summers with all of her side included, so that’s also where my comment was coming from. Again, as always I was right, and no one ever wants to validate my POV, ever. Also It would be so nice if someone ever had my back like that. Why would my SIL be advocating him yelling at me like that? We don’t know. No one knows.
Louie dismisses that comment, because it’s irrational of course. Teresa doesn’t get how stupid she sounds, and goes on to say “I know, WE don’t care” she says as she puts her hands on her heart, as if she actually has a point, Well clearly ya do care, if that’s your defense, and you’re bringing it up two years later.
Guys I don’t mean to split hairs, I don’t, but in 2021, on Antonia’s 16th birthday, she and Louie had JUST STARTED DATING.
So why in the FUUUUUUUUCK would Joe and Melissa have invited Louie’s fucking sisters and parents to their daughters fucking 16th birthday party? That would have been WEIRD EVEN, and made it look like you were just trying to fill up the room.
I think kids milestone birthday events like that, are for the kid’s friends, and immediate family. I think Louie, in this scene wanted to say that so badly, but didn’t want to be making her look stupid with cameras rolling.
Louie has to think she’s a fucking fucktard. I don’t know how he even can stand to be around her, and listen to this. I’m not like fawning all over Louie or anything, but I think he comes off as rather above average intelligence, and this has to be painful, when he can clearly see she makes zero sense.
I don’t think it was as painful and excruciating for Joe, because Joe was also lacking in the brains and common sense department. He also supported her hatred and anger and jealousy of Joe and Melissa, whereas Louie couldn’t care less about this idiocy. Louie chugs his water bottle and looks like he he’d rather open up his wrists than sit here and listen to her talk.
She tells him that he feels bad for Joe, and thinks he just misses her (like why???) and that’s why he’s so angry. Just from what I’m already seeing, this early in the season, I don’t blame them for skipping the wedding. I think that probably killed them because you know, Melissa wanted to be filmed doing her best to outdo the bride (and she prob would have without even trying) and loves her camera time. I really do think Teresa’s behavior is just starting to be so atrocious towards them, that it just didn’t make sense for them to be there. And to think all she had to do is do what a normal fucking woman would do. Include Melissa in the wedding party, and invite her mom and two sisters. But she’s too fucking bitter towards Melissa.
I think Louie does try to be a mediator here to a point, but I honestly just don’t think he cares that much. And he sees what he’s working with here. She is a terrible communicator, and impossible to communicate and reason with. He suggests she reach out “and try to make peace.” He’s so over this shit. Most dudes really don’t want bothered with this stupid drama, let’s face it.
So she ends up calling up him right there and then, and her overall demeanor sounds so cold and stoic, as she blurts out “so you wanna make peace?” (which she repeated after Louie, because she can’t come up with a thought on her own I guess)
You can even see on her face she just doesn’t give a shit.
And she always does this “you tell ME” shit when she purposely pisses people off, and then acts clueless when they’re fucking pissed off. She sat there and admitted to doing these wedding exclusions just to be a fucking dick. Now she’s like “you tell ME why you’re mad??”
What?
How about “I’m sorry for the childish statement exclusions. Melissa’s family will be getting invitations, and I really want Melissa to be in the wedding.”
I know right, when monkeys fucking fly!!
Joe is annoyed with the cryptic convo, and can tell it’s fake and is kind of “it’s all good, peace yeah, sure” just to get her off the phone. He doesn’t want to talk it through because he knows she’s like talking to a fucking wall.
Like really, that’s so like not even sincere. At all. I think there’s still a lot of leftover resentment in Joe with the way she treated him at the reunion last season. She wonders why Joe didn’t receive it well. It was not one bit sincere.
And then the wedding dissing, she’s just makes it so fucking hard to have a normal relationship with. Joe just needs to come to terms with the fact that he cannot have a normal fun friendly relationship with his only sibling. And I’m sure that’s hard. And I agree Teresa seems to be less concerned now, that she has Louie’s sisters that she’s treating a gazillion times nicer that her own fucking brother and his wife of 20 years.
So what’s she gonna do in the event his all comes crashing down?
So she’s so fucking dumb, Louie has to remind her to ask if he’s coming to her stupid party. He says he doesn’t know.
Louie tells her that he’s proud of her for calling her brother, and mumbling incoherent bullshit, hanging up and of course not apologizing or rectifying the issues. Sure, that takes courage. How DO you do it, Teresa? We just don’t know!!
I don’t know why we have to act like it’s so weird that Paul isn’t interested in being a fucking throuple with Dolores and Frank. I’m sick of this already. Let’s let Frank and his appletini’s go. Set him free to live his own life, separate from Dolores, that he’s been divorced from for 25 fucking years.
And yes, let this woman eat cake!! (Dolores’ mom) Doesn’t look to me like she’s stopping either.
Bill and Jennifer have a date night, and it’s a typical argumentative Bill and Jennifer date night.
Jennifer’s top is covered in logos and Bill acts like a shit. Also typical.
So newbies Jen Fessler and Rachel have quickly become super best besties.
Which means they’ll hate each other and will be yanking at each other’s weaves next season, and throwing drinks around.
They bond over Jennifer calling both of them to gossip about Margaret and Dolores. Jennifer is doing her Housewife job. Getting everyone talking about her.
Marge and Dolores call Melissa. She quickly unloads about the wedding snub, and seems like even after that sweet and heartfelt call from Teresa (insert extreme sarcasm here) that Joe is still ticked. Well why wouldn’t he be? That call was for appearances, and resolved nothing, and she hasn’t changed her mind about the non-invites.
Joe has officially decided to not attend because he doesn’t want to do this fake nicey nice thing. I also hate fake nicey nice.
Again, it’s nice that Gia and the sisters support their mom, but it’s not nice that they cannot acknowledge Teresa, has not been a great sister to Joe, and has always treated Melissa like an outsider. And this is what most of the tension and strife stems from.
At this point at least 22 year old Gia should be seeing this, and not against her mom, but maybe being neutral. 22 year old Gia should also be seeing their side of being disappointed about her wedding exclusions, in the interest of making some point that she thinks she has. She even has Malinia programmed “it’s not like they include you in everything she does.” Okay girl you sound a tad scripted, or brainwashed.
IT’S A WEDDING !!!
This is a huge fucking wedding!! Where family members expect to be included! FUCK ME, I’ve been trying to get through this not sounding like I need a valium as one of my readers indicated. So rude. Just kidding. I thought it was funny. And true.
Her and her love bubble thing. Is she in 7th grade? For chrissakes, Teresa gets some weird tree thing as a gift from Jennifer, and Marge thinks it’s a menorah. It looks nothing like a menorah.
Teresa: “A tree for ‘Tre’ get it?”
Yes Teresa, we’re not retarded, we get it.
Jennifer of course, gets outed for her calls to Jen and Rachel to gossip about Margaret and Dolores.
Teresa’s over polite fake nice voice is the most annoying out of all of her voices.
“Babe I love that up there !” (the menorah)
“Look at my love bubble!”
“I love saying my stepson!”
Melissa arrives sans Joe. Which is weird. She usually doesn’t go anywhere without him.
She probably didn’t bring Antonia to see the girls, because she didn’t want to involve her in this mess. Unlike Teresa, who is all too happy to involve and brainwash her daughters, that she has done nothing wrong, and is this innocent victim with Melissa and Joe attacking her for no reason.
And I have a hard time believing Teresa, when she says she misses their kids.
Melissa approaches Gia and Gabriella, and is greeted with a really fake smile from Gia. Which is making her look even more like Teresa. There is awkward small talk. Melissa knows Teresa has been feeding them hateful comments.
Louie, Paul and new guy, hoist Teresa to stand on a table with Louie to make a speech.
She announces she’s not wearing underwear. So 50 year old woman, gave birth four times, not wearing underwear? Okay. Hope she doesn’t sneeze.
Can she stop saying “I love that!”
So you already expect Teresa and a speech, to go awry ya know, for obvious reasons. I’m not going to keep harping on her issues.
However, I don’t think she meant any kind of diss by “you are our chosen family.”
Although, that was not the best way to put it. It sounds like their guests should all be so grateful that they were even considered.
It kind of sounds kind of like something out of a sci-fi movie or Harry Potter. “YOU ARE THE CHOSEN PEOPLE!”
But her commentary could have been much worse, considering it’s coming from Teresa.
Joe WAS invited, and he chose to not attend, so that comment to me, had nothing to do with Joe. Now if Joe was not invited, then yes I would agree it was meant to sound like a Fuck You. Teresa is in a rare, very jovial and light mood, and isn’t standing here thinking up with bitchy things to say right now. For now.
But, I guess Melissa gets all in her feelings about the way it was said, perhaps is focusing on her, and her family’s omission from the wedding party and wedding. She goes to the bathroom and cries. Is this real? It’s hard to tell with her.
The way Margaret tells it in her yap, maybe she did mean it as a fuck you to Joe??
All right, so apparently Melissa manages to pull herself together enough after being supposedly being devastated about Joe and Teresa, to admit to Jackie that she did rat her out for making fun of Danielle’s outfit.
Jackie refers to Danielle as a “horrible dresser.” What grown woman says that. Yes, I’ve been knows to critiqued women’s clothes, I’m not gonna lie, but I wouldn’t say “she’s a horrible dresser.” I would say, maybe she needs some help, or doesn’t have great fashion sense…
Danielle approaches Jackie, about this very riveting subject. Yes Jackie did look her up and down, and Danielle sensed the judgy look and didn’t like it.
Jackie scolds her for having her hands in her face. Okay girl, you’re surrounded by all of these Italian bitches, hands will fly around. Get over it.
Thought Jackie was just owning her judginess anyway. The outfit was bad, I concur. Not because of the hamper thing, that wasn’t visible on TV, but the scarf belt, I wasn’t feeling, and the white top with white low rise shorts. I get it, it was bad.
Danielle is not doing a good job going up against Jackie, but I commend her for trying.
I guess Jackie was expecting an apology for the party snub. A lot of snubbing in this episode. I probably said ‘snub’ too much. But don’t snub me!!
Danielle whispers something to Jen and Rachel about these fucking now infamous white jean shorts.
Can this be dropped NOW please?
Margaret confronts Jennifer about the infamous phone call to Jen, and now Jen and Rachel are getting involved because this party is much too civil for Housewives.
Rachel getting involved, and gives the much needed ‘wow’ factor we needed for this party, since Joe is not here to be dramatic.
Her finger is pointy and flying around, she’s all hyper and loud, then Jennifer is all hyper, pointy and loud.
Margaret is here of course, to fan the flames and make sure Rachel gets as pissed as possible at Jennifer, by saying “do you believe she said that to you?”
You have to chuckle over the irony of this commentary coming from Margaret, when she made fun of Jennifer’s all last season,
Teresa: “I know her, she would never call her to take sides.”
Teresa shut up.
Margaret: “you don’t have to insult her nose job.”
Really?
