Melissa and Teresa are still arguing from last week. You can disagree all that you want, and I do see a lot of this online, but Melissa, while is kind of a fame whore, and a little opportunistic, fine.
But I really do think she is mostly genuine, like most of the time. When she tells Teresa that she has really always wanted to see her happy, I think she does mean it. All the depth of a mud puddle, Teresa even says, “I feel it.”
It seems like she really actually feels the emotion, and good vibes that Melissa is putting forth into the universe in regards to her relationship with Louie.
And here we go, the bridesmaid debate.
Teresa: “you wanna be in the wedding??” Who could turn that offer down??
(Where on earth did she get THAT idea, right??)
Melissa: “Why are ya acting like you’re doing me a favor?” She did sound like that.
Now Teresa: Almost sounding kind of sincere, “I would love for you to be a bridesmaid in my wedding, I’m being for real.”
Melissa answers, “that’s like an ex boyfriend saying I want you back, I know I fucked up, and I’m okay not being in it I swear.”
Teresa seems relieved. They hug. If only this were the end of the Teresa verses Melissa and Joe saga.
I thought Melissa did have good points in that conversation, and Teresa didn’t have that much to say in her defense really. She usually doesn’t.
Frank, and Dolores’ new dude, Paulie seem to have sort of made nice-nice. Sort of, in the way dudes do, when they can’t stand each other.
Since Frank dubbed Paul Buzz Lightyear, Paul calls Frank Mr. Potato Head. (also from Toy Story) Paul’s quip is better. Frank, you walked right into that. Paul is a super hero, and you are Mr. Potato Head. Sorry, I like Frank, but his head does look like a big potato.
So I guess with Frank’s surgery and health issue, he missed the sexy calendar shoot, and he comes to Dolores’ for his photos to get taken. Does he still live with David? I stand by my hunch from last season that David had/has a crush on the Franks.
Frank offers to include Paulie on the infamous Jersey Boys night out. Only on Jersey do they feature the guys alone in their own scenes. Jersey Boys are the only Housewife dudes that are on the Bravo payroll. Probably because of Joe being needed as a main character due to all of his drama with Teresa.
Little ‘who’s dick is bigger’ thing with these two when Paul is pissed that Frank communicated with Dolores to get to him since he didn’t have his number. Paul is clearly, and I mean it’s crystal clear, is jealous, and just not having Dolores and Frank remain in their friendly little post-divorce bond.
He doesn’t even want Frank to be texting her or communicating with her at all it seems,
So Frank in his Easter Bunny get-up, since he’s ‘April. ’ I don’t think the other guys’ photos were as silly and embarrassing as Frank and the Easter thing. He’s kind of reminding me of some weird character in a movie, I can’t put my finger on. I was reading some chat groups that his big belly looks like a ‘steroid belly.’
Jackie, Marge and Melissa meet for lunch, and discuss Jackie’s exclusion from the Cheese making party, because Danielle was annoyed that Jackie “looked her up and down” and she did not like that.
Well at least Jackie does own it. She admits, yes she looked her up and down because “it was a train wreck from top to bottom.” And I have to agree that it kind of is.
I don’t know about the hamper thing, but the low rise shorts, the scarf tied around them as a belt, the white shorts and the off white tucked in tank. Also it was all kind of unflattering on her body. It’s just that it’s so white, and hides nothing. Not being shady.
They discuss Jennifer and Bill’s possible marital issues, which are making Jennifer all anxious and irritated and whatever. They’re always gossiping about Jennifer’s marriage.
Scene with new wife Rachel, taking her to a 2 year old’s photo shoot.
Rachel asks her how old she is, and she’s supposed to hold up 2 fingers, one on each hand has her mom is showing her, however, she only holds up one hand because she’s holding a tablet in the other hand. Guess the mom couldn’t figure that out, and says “we’re working on that.”
Maybe work on making sure she has a free hand if you’re trying to make her do something you taught her to do with both hands. The poor little girl is so confused why all of these people are staring at her.
Teresa and ‘journaling’ just doesn’t seem to go together. I would LOVE to see her writings. Or should I say ‘rightings.’
I don’t know why Teresa has to drag Louie and her kids into this drama with Melissa and Joe. Gia complains that Joe and Melissa are lying about being involved in the care with the girls when Teresa was in jail.
Whatever, I’m so over this feud with those three. Now she has Louie and all four girls completely on her side, and recognizing nothing that Teresa has done wrong over the years, like treating Melissa like an outsider and and just being fucking unfriendly towards this gitl since day one, because she’s jealous of her. And because she just sucks.
Danielle and Melissa have a chat over Melissa buying clothing for her boutique. Danielle wants to “see how she does it.” Okay well make sure you pay close attention, Danielle. Because it is a very intricate process, of ‘pulling’ clothing items from a rack, and then looking at them. Did she take notes?? Melissa is trying to look so important, “see this is what I do, I pull them…”
Danielle shares that she doesn’t talk to her brother now, over the most inane fucking argument, you could ever imagine. It’s insane that a dude would be that concerned and pissed off about his sister blocking him from a stupid social media account. It sounds so pathetic and douchey. I think that’s why she’ sort of ‘blaming’ her sister in law, since it sounds more like something a woman would do.
She goes on to explain that there was other tension, in that they didn’t appreciate her two cents during the wedding planning. So in this dynamic, it sounds like the brother’s wife is the Teresa, and Danielle is the Melissa.
In other words, it seems to me that her sister-in-law is a fucking bitch, (Teresa) and Danielle is a little annoying, but overall accommodating, and not miserable and bitter.
Melissa says “it’s not always the sister-in-law’s fault.” No, it’s not. Sometimes it is, sometimes it’s not.
In Joe and Melissa’s case, I think, that Teresa always fucked it up for herself, just because, well she’s Teresa. She doesn’t get along with a lot of people, and was constantly putting Melissa and Joe in the middle of that.
I will say this though, because even though I cannot stand Teresa, I am seeing both sides. I try to do that for the most part.
So here’s my thing with Joe and Melissa:
When they started realizing that Teresa was insanely resentful about them joining the show, and realized how badly it was affecting their family, since Teresa is so jealous of Melissa. And she was pissed because you know, this was HER thing. How dare they?
Why didn’t they say, after their first season or two, “you know this just isn’t worth it. For the sake of your parents, and the seven children between them, let’s just bow out. Let her have this.”
However, Melissa and Joe, especially Melissa, loved the attention they were getting, and yes kind of being fame whores, so they chose to stick with it. And here we are. Not that there wouldn’t still be tension and Teresa wouldn’t still be jealous of Melissa, and nasty to her for no reason, but I don’t think it would have been this bad.
You’re welcome.
So minimum wage is $14.00/hour in Jersey? I looked it up, and apparently it is. Is she seriously trying to pay these kids $14.00/hour do little chores?
I don’t think it’s recommended to pay kids, like an hourly wage, or for doing each task, then they can just be like “nah I don’t feel like doing that, just don’t pay me.”
Since you know most children don’t ‘need’ money to survive. They kind of have free food, room and board. I think it’s a law or something. And it does not look like the Aydin children want for very much. You just put them on a weekly allowance. And, yes, give them a few chores, there’s definitely nothing wrong with that.
This scene with Jennifer at home with Bill and the kids (that Olivia!) starts off cute, then quickly takes a downward turn to not cute when they sit and discuss the Housewife drama and events.
I’m not sure why they put the husbands through this? Do we really need these scenes? Even on the other cities, where husbands aren’t featured as much, we have to sit through annoying scenes like this where they have to pretend to be interested in this woman drama.
Anyway back to Jennifer and Bill. She tells him that Margaret called her (even though they made up last season, you know new season, same arguments, that’s Housewives) disingenuous, although I think she said and disingenuine, which I don’t think is a word. I’m surprised Bill didn’t correct her. Margaret also said she is not self-reflective. That’s an odd phrase to use. Or did she make that up also?
“I’m the most self-reflective person here, I’m sorry I am.” By self-reflective, I’m assuming what is meant is like ability to admit you’re wrong. I’m trying to think if that is something that is Jennifer or not. I think maybe she does. Didn’t she own the gossiping about Jackie, and Evan’s alleged affair last season? And her unraveling over Bill’s not-alleged affair ten years ago? I thought she did. When she gets cornered about talking about someone, she seems to own it. I think she just that did in the last episode.
Insert Bill’s condescending faces and eye rolls as she’s trying to speak with him.
This dude is such a fucking shit head. She asks him point blank if he thinks she’s ‘self-reflective.’ Is this a new buzz phrase, like ‘triggered’ and ‘generational wealth?’ Am I going to be hearing and reading this every five minutes now?
So now, with all of his over exaggerated smug and stupid expressions, and not answering her, she’s starting to get pissed. Pretty sure Bill doesn’t admit his shortcomings on a daily basis. I mean he threw her under the dang bus last season, and let her take on all of the humiliation over HIS fucking affair.
He goes into some senseless diatribe about how nobody is perfect. Like Bill, say anything else, but this. Please.
Jennifer mocking and imitating him in her yap is fucking hilarious. I think she’s really funny. I started to pick up on her quirky and funny sense of humor last season. She was cracking me up.
Yes, Bill say something nice, just try. He doesn’t care. What was the point of this?
I was trying to think of what celeb Danielle reminds me of, and I think it’s Barbara Streisand. Maybe more specifically, her character in ‘Meet the Parents.’ Her voice, and her mannerisms are so Mrs. Focker.
So you’ll forgive me if I glaze over this art event she’s having for her daughter.
Her long divorced, but now cordial, parents attend. They argue over who brought the better flower bouquet, which was kind of funny.
So after this art thing is over, they discuss this ongoing argument with Danielle and her brother. So he’s not even talking his mom either?
Over a little wedding planning and Insta spat? Two plus years ago?? Wow, what a douchey little dork. Yeah this has the ‘bitchy wife’ written all over it. She’s probably all too happy to make the focus HER family, and to phase out his.
That is a thing with some women. I don’t get it. It’s weird. It seems really insecure and just stupid. I’m not blaming the wife entirely, he certainly is a grown ass man, I’m assuming, and could easily say, “this has gone on long enough” and reach out to them, whether the bitch likes it or not.
I think my assessment in comparing her to Teresa is probably accurate, based on the little bit of info that I was privy to.
The dad is clearly distraught and is actually cries about it, tears and everything. What a dumb ass this kid must be.
The salad (made of only lettuce and avocado) that Melissa is making does not look good, like at all. She’s just pouring straight vinegar all over it. Gross. You gotta mix the shit with something.
‘The wedding’ and Teresa is, of course the topic, and Melissa’s sisters and mom did not make the cut. Okay well I’m with Melissa on this. Even though I assume, since Melissa and Joe didn’t attend, as it turned out, they wouldn’t have. Well scratch that, maybe they would have gone anyway. It is free booze and food after all. Her mom and sisters strike me as being all about free shit. Anywho, for as long as Melissa and Joe have been married, and her family has been a part of her life, I would think that yes, they could have thrown them an invitation.
For crissakes Ramona Singer was invited, who she has known for five minutes. And even Chanel, the Dubai housewife was invited, who I think happened to be in New York at the time, but still. Teresa didn’t even know her,
It’s just weird, and just like Melissa not being asked to be in the wedding, it was just a fuck you-Melissa is not important to me or considered family, statement. This reminds me of Megan Markle, inviting all of those random celebs to her Royal Wedding, and not even her own family.
So literally nobody is eating this awful salad. If you want to call Romaine and avocado with vinegar dumped on, a salad. Joe doesn’t even have a plate. He was probably like yeah, no thanks. She refers to it as a’beautiful salad’ when asking her mom if vinegar expires.
They talk more about the Teresa situation. Louie isn’t helping any, they say, and if anything, he’s exacerbating the situation, and how he called Melissa insecure.
And Joe is planning on addressing this with him on guys’ night. Sounds like a perfect idea! This will go over great with hot head Louie.
Frank and these fucking appletini’s. Does he NOT know that no dude ever, should order an appletini. Does he also know it’s not 1995?? This is worse than the Below Deck dudes and their pina coladas.
The bartender is totally smirking while making this, and Frank, and I guess as no idea. There has to be something comparable to this, that he can get that doesn’t make him look like this big burly fruit loop.
Like vodka and a coke? And ask for a splash of the apple shit? I don’t know. He just adds insult to his self-inflicted injury by joking with the kid, about having several of these fucking disgusting things on his big boys’ night out.
Can you imagine how sick you would be if you were stupid enough to drink more than two these things? I guess since his drink doesn’t have that horrific emerald green color like I thought they used to, people might mistake it for a dirty martini. So he doesn’t look like a total weirdo.
But he’s still having to order the fucking things, so, yeah whatever. Does Paulie know this? I can’t even fathom how much he would bust his chops if he were aware of this.
Okay, I probably need to move this past this. I really do want to. I swear. The new young dude in the crowd brings all the old dudes a bunch of old man crap. Original.
Frank whine about his and Paulie’s little spat about Frank going through Dolores to get a message to him.
He complains that “he almost questioned my manhood.” And he hasn’t even seen the appletini’s yet.
Frank continues to whine that his whole ‘family dynamic’ has changed now, since she has a boyfriend that actually WANTS to be with her, unlike what’s his name, stringing her along so he could ogle her son and ex-husband. Does he need reminded that they’re divorced? They do have a very strange divorced dynamic. Did he really think that would continue into her having a normal boyfriend?
One that is straight and not obsessed with her ex-husband?
“She’s never home, she never calls…” Is this dude for real? He sort of admits he still is into her, like that. Last season he had some phantom girlfriend. I guess she’s history.
Bill tells Joe, that he’s the brother-in-law that Louie doesn’t have. Let’s just get this crazy Italian dwarf more cranked up.
Louie arrives, somewhat fashionably late, and not even wearing a wife beater.
New topic: Bachelor party. So do we really need bachelor and bachelorette parties for remarriages of people in their 50’s? I guess so. Louie wants the guys do all go out, and the girls to all go out and then all meet later No one seems to be into that.
Joe asks who he’s planning on inviting to the bachelor party, when really he’s just fishing to start the beef about not inviting Melissa’s mom and sisters. Although I think, not sure, but I think they keep saying ‘sister’ not sisters. Are they mad at one of the sisters? I’ve actually never heard her refer to one sister before, it’s always ‘my sisters.’
Louie’s answer is sort of an admission that they were purposely omitted to make a statment. And the statement being that Teresa is an asshole.
He addresses Melissa’s social media post, or podcast or whatever, that she and Joe supposedly ‘fed’ Teresa’s girls while she was in jail.
Seems kind of petty.
Now the intensity of their little squabble kicks up a notch.
However they still sound like a couple of stupid little sissies.
Why is Louie so red??
Wow, this fight is so embarrassing. They sound like two ten year-olds.
“I’m so above you, it’s not even funny.” Well he kind of is. Joe is like 5’4″.
“I’ll bust your balls.”
“You’ve been here one fucking minute.”
“Be quiet.”
Weird noises, mocking of weird noises
“Tough guy”
“Fuck you.”
So THAT was excruciating. And productive. THe other guys kept chiming in lines that sounds like they were told to say.
Doesn’t it concern him how she treats her own family? I guess not. He seems to even be jumping on board with trashing Joe and Melissa. I just cannot deal with Teresa being 100% the victim in all of this.
Louie suggests the two of them talk it out. Like how many fucking times have we done this?
Their feud is like Heather Gay’s black eye on Salt Lake City. No one really cares. In fact I think most viewers do NOT want them to make up. Because Teresa is so fake, you know it’s not genuine, and it’s not going to last.
She brings up petty shit to be pissed at him about, bitches about Melissa, who really as far as sister-in-laws are concerned, is not THAT bad.
Remember how she treated Joe last season when the season opened? She had Gia sort of ambush him at her party over comments he made about her dad?
The two Joe’s have been shit-talking each other for years. Her dad is a big boy and can stand up for herself.
Even when they show the preview for this week, she calls Joe and spits out, “so do you wanna make peace?” almost as though it’s a threat.
