I love the red theme. I like it better when they do variations of like the same color palate.
But I guess no one checked with me. No one checked with Scheana, and no one checked with me.
This will probably be in two parts. The reunions are hard to not break up because they are non-stop dialogue and drama for the entire 45ish minutes.
First chair Ayan arrives to the couches first. Honestly she’s not dressed unlike she dresses to have coffee during filming, so it’s kind of yawn.
Stanbury was probably annoyed she’s second seat.
Apparently Lesa and Ayan never reconciled after filming was over.
Stanbury’s face is funny when Lesa enters. Lesa clearly makes her squirm. She is other first chair. I thought it would be Stanbury and Ayan.
Last seats – Taleen and Sara. Taleen is first timer so that makes sense.
Sorry Sara. Guess your maid trying to kidnap your kid, and the douchey narcissist pretending to be Muslim, sort-of boyfriend, didn’t grant you even second seat. She looks like she’s giving not one single fuck though.
That dude gave off the most douchey fucking energy. It’s like he wasn’t event trying to hide it after his visit.
Sara looks pregnant or that she gained weight. Guess it’s the drapey dress fit and the way she’s leaning back. Also she looks kind of stoned or tipsy. Feeling like she’s ditched the Muslim thing. Her dress is pretty revealing for her. Never have seen her shoulders before.
Lesa looks extremely thin. She an Ayan are still not speaking.
Nothing like ‘Real’ Housewives to kill a friendship, right?? Bravo sees to that. They don’t rest until all of the genuine pre-Housewife relationships are put to a halt. That’s why they love casting two besties I’m assuming.
Lesa and Ayan should have been smart enough to see this coming. Last season it was pretty much a no-brainer because those two were BFF’s. They were either not rclose, or feuding with the rest of the cast. Bravo no likey that.
They can’t stand healthy friendships, and they don’t want two women being able to only film with each other, which kind of makes sense.
Taleen and Brooks are another example of a pre-Housewife friendship that is no longer.
But I know, I’m complaining, but still I watch, and I recap. Just for you.
Can we stop “setting intentions?” What a stupid waste of words and oxygen.
It’s word vomit that means absolutely fucking nothing.
As if Andy gives a fuck about these ladies’ relationships. No offense Andy, Love ya, but ya don’t.
First up is Stanbury and Ayan’s newfound friendship.
I need to get on Twitter/X more so I can get my reunion questions in.
They claim they became close on the 16 hour ride back to Dubai after the last reunion, which was an entire two years ago since they skipped a year. So they’ve been BFF’s for the past two years? I doubt that.
Andy’s tie should be red.
No Lesa you don’t look jealous at all as they flash on Stanbury and Ayan’s buddy-buddy up scenes. She could not look more fuming and jealous.
Sara legit looks so off. She looks stoned or tipsy to be honest w ith you. And the dress – shocked to see her showing so much skin. Her reactions to things and expressions seems off too. She’s been feuding with Saba from the show, her bestite and business partner if you’ve came across that at all. Apparently Sara flew into a jealous rage when she got married earlier this year. So Saba had to cut her off.
Despite all of that are maybe because of all of that, she has finally seen the light and is living her best life wearing what she wants and having some wine or a little edible. Maybe both!
Maybe she was reading my recaps where I suggested that several times. Well I’m not exactly mad about it!!
They talk extensively about Stanbury and Ayan’s friendship. More extensively than necessary.
Lesa again reassures us she’s not a bit jealous. Nope. Not one bit.
She shows a text from Ayan that can be construed as kind of bitchy towards Stanbury recently when they were “getting to know each other.”
But I thought they became besties two years ago on the flight?
The text about Stanbury really wasn’t that bad. Could have been a lot worse. Ayan may have even been doing that to appease her, knowing she was threatened.
Lesa accuses her of ‘playing victim’ which is a phrase that bugs her a lot. Lesa knows this.
It is staring to be overused phrasing, like triggering, gaslighting or ‘don’t feel safe.’
Anyway they discuss Stanbury’s face lift and Ayan’s age. Lesa is absolutely miserable and making the most disdainful comments as everyone else is complimenting them.
Keep quiet Lesa, go shoot up more Ozempic.
Ayan gets questioned about her annoyance at Brooks for crediting Ayan’s partner Toni for her beauty business, that she admitted she really has done nothing for, so I don’t know why she’s so mad.
I wish I had people to do everything for me while I gallivant around in ball gowns. She wants everyone to be jealous of her, so that should make her happy.
Why doesn’t Brooks just admit she was being messy? She probably isn’t wrong, but she was being Housewife messy and she needs to say so.
Ayan gets emotional talking about the horrible occurrence as a child that no little girl should ever endure, and how it caused her problems by sharing it last season.
You know people are fucking stupid for not comprehending what a circumcision of a girl is. What part of your vagina? Seriously? Also does it matter? Also look it up on this new thing called internet.
Lesa knows ‘victim’ is a triggering word for Ayan and she did that on purpose.
More exchange and squealing and it goes nowhere. See what I mean about the ‘setting the intention’ garbage??
Moving on…
And lucky for us, what are we moving on to? Why Taleen’s lady parts now of course.
Stanbury seems to be squirming a bit when they all agree she was calling them and gossiping about her pantiless drunken fall, as Stanbury tries to make light of it.
What the hell is wrong with smug ass entitled Lesa? Who does she think she is?? Besides the Ozempic poster child? Ridiculing Taleen for interrupting Brooks. They all interrupt each other, always.
Sara looks so completely out of it, and a mess.
Taleen and Brooks bicker. Was she hysterical? Was she emotional? OMG who cares.
Andy in a very softball roundabout way asks Brooks if she thinks she was drinking way too much in at least the first half of the season, and was it perhaps due to the stress of opening her business.
Way to go, already set her up to have an excuse Andy.
Brooks does the thing alcoholics do, which is refer to herself as a ‘lightweight’ and claims she only has two and appears drunk. I love how she says “I think she said I was an alco — holic?” as if she doesn’t know how to pronounce the word rand never heard of it. Okayyyyy Brooks. Wow just wow. Think you know how to pronounce it, and pretty sure you are one.
She’s not a fucking lightweight. She’s a fucking liar.
There is now way Brooks had two drinks acting the way she was acting. She appeared to be showing up to functions where unlimited alcohol is provided, already intoxicated. So that supposed ‘two drink’ math ain’t mathin.’
Try again lady. NO ONE believes you are having two or three drinks.
Tell us about the healing journey? What healing journey? Not only was there no healing ‘journey’ but she also demanded her money back from one fucking session. Wow bitch must be broke.
CANNOT make this shit up. Stay tuned!! Next we address Stanbury’s guy friend Michael, who allegedly pays her bills.
To be continued…
