Chris has to be the most normal, and most low-key, down-to-earth House Husband of all time.
Imagine being a dude that doesn’t have to abuse women to feel better. I can’t.
Not wanting to insult Ayan necessarily but seems like all she does is prance around in ball gowns talking incessantly about how pretty she is, and Chris is fine with that. He asks nothing of her.
If that’s not a dream husband I don’t know what the hell is.
He always has a smile on his face – as opposed to an ugly scowl like he wants to take someone out.
Because he’s so awesome, I’ll totally let him off the hook for wearing an Izod alligator shirt.
He absolutely always looks at Ayan with such love and admiration, even when she sits there bragging how she doesn’t feed him. Also he’s successful and smart.
She’s not the easiest to communicate with, and says a lot of off the wall things such as “yeah I think it was a mountain, there was rocks there.”
He just laughs and looks at her like she could not be more adorable. Now that’s a REAL MAN.
Take notes Doug Thomas. Fucker.
So whatever – I don’t know where I went so horribly wrong – not once but fucking twice – and some bitches hit the jackpot on the first try. There’s really no sense in rehashing and crying about it I guess.
Now I thought the teeth X-ray results were going to pinpoint her exact age, not a five year range.
As far as Stanbury’s obsession with it, I think it’s due to her and Lesa age-shaming her last season. So the fact that she’s the same age, or possibly even older than Caroline, I don’t blame her for being a little fixated on it.
Is it just me or are Lesa’s and Stanbury’s houses identical from the outside? Very basic desert looking houses.
Lesa fills in Rich on the Bali drama. I would call it a success. No one even went to the hospital, and no one did the fake packing thing ‘threatening’ to leave. It was the tamest housewife trip of all damned time.
Rich is second after Chris, as being the most awsome-est House Husband of all time. And he’s even good-looking. Not saying Chris isn’t, but if it were a contest, Rich wins.
And thennnnn there’s Sergio. God love him, he does have a good heart, and he does try, but he’s just too young for Caroline.
A twenty year age difference is a lot, and then when you take into account that Sergio is an immature 28, you have to knock off an additional five or six years. There’s no way this can work.
I would say the rule of thumb in ‘age gap marriages’ is if one is old enough to be the parent, then that’s too much. You’re from completely different generations, and it’s hard for the older partner to not act like a mother or father figure to the younger partner.
Then, take into account his desperation to have a child, and Caroline is 48 years old, I just can’t be optimistic. She does not want to have this baby and I wish she would just tell him that.
Sergio going all out for her birthday every year with tons of balloons and decorations to make her feel special, is so sweet.
Most men do NOTHING for their wives or girlfriend’s birthdays. They plan NOTHING. They do NOTHING. It’s too much work for them to do something that doesn’t benefit them.
I was so beyond disappointed with my ex-BF after we’d been together for over a year, and for my first birthday, I was out of the country celebrating a milestone birthday, so the following year rolls around and he planned nothing on my birthday weekend.
We even did something I told him I did not want to do. (going to someone else’s birthday party…)
I have a friend who just celebrated her 40th and I was a little annoyed with her boyfriend who also planned exactly nothing. When I was asking her what she was doing she said “I don’t knowwwww!! I guess it’ll be nice to just have a chill day.” I could tell she was disappointed but didn’t want to say so.
She was letting him off the hook and pretending to be okay with doing nothing.
Women like a man with a plan!!!
A chill day at home?? For your 40th fucking birthday? And it was even on a Sunday. Let me say this, he’s a recovered addict so there could no partying or going crazy and what-not, but he could have planned some activities. You don’t even need a ton of cash to just have some things lined up that are not things you do every day.
Whatever, sorry I got on a man-bashing tangent. That NEVER happens.
Back to this. So there’s a Polo match watching social being planned by Brooks. She’s giving them all forewarning that she will be judging their outfits. We know Brooks! It’s Housewives! It’s all about the outfits!!
******
I don’t mean to sound like a Debbie Downer, but when Housewives ‘start a business,’ I have a hard time taking it seriously.
It’s not like these ladies are in lab coats formulating these products, let’s be real.
Nothing is original about their products usually. They literally hire people to slap their names on jars and makeup products and they stand there at these stupid ‘launches’ and bask in applause and accolades for putting in zero effort. I find it hard to be impressed with people exerting zero effort.
Ayan even admitted she’s done nothing as far as this business is concerned.
Anyway, she meets with her friend who has a successful makeup line that seems very mature, professional, and un-Housewife like, and actually runs her business and has a fucking clue.
Okay I take it back. Ayan says she’s learning how to do ‘business’ and is ‘sending emails.’ Impressive. So she is involved. Sending emails. (probably forwarding them to Chris or Toni)
So they chat and she offers to help Ayan with her business that she does not run. Maybe if Chris or Toni have questions, they can call her.
I’m pretty sure Ayan is confused at this advice she’s trying to give her.
This chick, the name I didn’t catch sorry, offers to connect her with Sephora. This is awful generous of her since technically, isn’t she the competition?
Guess she’s not too worried about it.
She’s seriously thinks Ayan would think she doesn’t deserve to be successful?
Has she met her? She can’t complete a sentence without reminding us she’s a model – and beautiful –and more beautiful than you, and everyone is fortunate to be in her presence. Pretty sure she’s okay with success,
That was funny. Was that a joke? Was that sarcasm?
Ayan says in her yap that she thinks she was the chosen one in her family to ‘carry her people.’
I rest my case.
******
I was glad to see Nina make an appearance. She was kind of my fave last season. I feared she wouldn’t stick around since she was too normal and drama-free, which is what I liked about her. Don’t we need at least one normal one to balance out these cracra bitches??
This is some fucked up shit about Sara’s maid and a possible kidnapping/child molestation situation! MY GOD.
Her kid is something else. Sara starts listing things this crazy bitch was trying to make off with when she was packing after Sara threw her out, and he interrupts with “her UNDERWEAR.”
Thanks kid, glad we’re clear on that. Info he probably didn’t need.
That’s beyond fucked up, stealing another woman’s fucking underwear. Did Sara do any type of background check on this woman, or check references?? I feel like no. I feel like Sara is not very bright but tries really hard to act like sohe is.
This kid cracks me up.
Should he even be present for this conversation, that he was trying to be kidnapped and taken for ransom??
I’m going to go out on a limb and say, no.
I almost don’t want to get into this because I’m trying to avoid another rant, believe it or not. But the fact that Sara did not seem to pick up on that immediate blaring redder than red fucking flag that she was dealing with yet another egotistical control-freak narc-head, and actually allowed him to tell her (when they’re not even in a relationship – wtf is an ‘exclusive friend?) she couldn’t do a podcast with a some dude that he doesn’t like because he’s shirtless in his IG profile, is beyond my comprehension.
And she’s qualified to be doling out life advice to people with her ‘honorary’ (aka non-existenet) psychology degree?
So this is weird – she does this ‘test’ she calls it, and orders him to not do a photo shoot that he was getting paid $3 -5,000 for.
There should be no reason for them to be discussing money with each other at this point.
And please explain to me like I’m five, the rationale in that.
And please explain to me why this woman is still entertaining having a relationship with a dude acting this way since:
a. They haven’t even defined their relationship yet. And b. They are arguing incessantly when they have only been together a few times and are living on different continents.
Because she’s not smart, that’s why. She’s making all of this money to tell everyone how to live their lives, and these are the decisions that she’s making.
Saba and Nina sit there and robotically nod their head at her as if this makes any fucking sense whatsoever.
Nina is at least honest with her and tells her this isn’t going to work.
Sara – stop trying to make Akin happen!
Saba tells her that knows she loves him, but he does have seem to be very insecure. Yes and haven’t we learned by now Sara, that an insecure man acts out in the way of explosive anger and constant fucking drama about EVERYTHING. EV – ER – Y – THING!!
How in the HELLLLLL do you ‘love’ someone you’ve barely been around. This chick is wacko.
And she was really going to make close to fifty fucking grand to sit there and spew out her ‘spiritual’ shit and and life coaching nonsense for an hour or less?
FIFTY GRAND. IN AN HOUR.
She’s says she’s not willing to give up yet. This fiasco isn’t enough of a red flag for her, apparently. She can’t see that he’s controlling? Okay.
Saba and Nina both advise her, ever so nicely and gently to hang it up and try to convince her this dude is bad news.
But – she thinks it can still maybe work
Nina gives her a fake pitying smile. She is thinking everything I am saying.
******
Dreaded Lesa and Stanbury meeting to see if they can’t iron out their differences.
Is it so pretentious to ask your hostess or server for a special chair for your ‘bag?’
Like how clean do they think the chairs are that you’re given??
I just could not ask someone for a chair for my fucking ‘bag.’ I would feel like a fucktard shallow inconsiderate asshole.
These dining spots in Dubai are so absolutely ridiculously breathtaking. I keep taking screen shots of all of the beautiful scenery. Not sure what I’m going to do with them, but I have them. Just FYI.
They make small talk for a minute then get down to it. Stanbury complains that Lesa was ignoring her on the trip.
Of course she knows the reason – for blabbing about this stupid ‘voice note’ that you know, again, she had no clue that Lesa was the one speaking, even though the entire thing was played for her, and it sounded exactly like Lesa… ???
Also they have unresolved issues from last season, of course.
Stanbury repeats all of those excuses: She didn’t know who it was she had no bad intention, trying to poke fun at Sara… Why do we have to suffer through this again?? Why?
So the escort thing which since the second season of Dubai came an entire two years after the first, I think we all have forgotten. They were arguing at the reunion after Lesa had ridiculed Stanbury in numerous ways. Her age, her social media account, her influencing, Sergio. So Stanbury clapped back with some rumor that she had been an escort in Miami, which is how she may or may not have met Rich.
Actually she must still think that, because she made a comment in Bali on that order when Lesa was doing a sexy little dance in the cage.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a little bit true. Maybe she went on a few escort dates when she needed some fast cash.
Lesa plays the ‘my family’ card and complains about getting the cold shoulder from other moms and her kids “might not get invited to birthday parties now!”
Oh Lordy did she seriously just say that?
Keep in mind these ladies OPT to go on these shows and have their families a part of them.
So if there are any skeletons anywhere, they should be prepared for them to come out. And even if there aren’t, they should be prepared for them to come out.
Since when are black women known for being escorts? I never heard that.
My feeling is she may not have been an escort per se, but she was definitely hanging out in Miami, where rich men hang out. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Caroline apologizes profusely. Again.
The food arrives and Lesa had ordered a ginormous salad with a big ole crab laying on it and still has lobster pasta coming. Hopefully she took her Ozempic.
They decide they like each other and freaking cheers to that!! Now CAN we drop this????
******
I don’t know that Brooks’ dress could be any shorter without all of her lady parts on complete display.
Why the long sleeves though? Seems to be too hot for long sleeves. I’m just weird about that. Maybe it’s 85 and she’s cold.
She name drops and brags how she knew the family that owns the polo resort “prior to moving to Dubai.”
I’m feeling Taleen’s polo outfit. It’s got kind of an 80’s vibe which I love. She arrives with Raffi who also, like Chris and Rich seems to be a very calm and NORMAL man.
Not feeling Sara’s logo label (of who I don’t know) basic black dress at all.
Brooks shares that she knew Raffi before she knew Taleen. Wonder if there’s a story there?? Brooks just knows everyone it seems.
Every time Brooks stands up she has to pull that fucking too-small dress out of her vagina.
Ayan arrives and of course, compliments herself immediately upon arrival. Even though she looks like the Mad Hatter meets The Wicked Witch of West.
Fine. She has a tall lanky model’s body and wears over the top formal dresses everywhere she goes. Girl do you need a medal? Does Chris need to pay more attention to you??
Stanbury looks rather meh, but at least she looks cool and comfortable.
Lesa may have been given the wrong memo as far as dress code, because she does arrive as if she’s part of polo team. She takes a moment to gaze into the camera for some reason.
Were they told to bring their froofy dogs?
Stanbury throws shade on everyone’s outfits citing they look ridiculous. She’s right. If you look at them all collectively they look kind of Village People-ish.
I think Lesa does feel under dressed. But she can’t really rely on her BFF Ayan to commiserate about what to wear, since she knows Ayan wears formal gowns everywhere she goes.
Stanbury and Ayan torture us with yet another repetitive conversation. I don’t know how many times this bitch needs to apologize.
At the end of the day, she was merely being your average Housewife-messy and it was not that big of a deal. Ayan needs to get a grip.
Isn’t she hot and itchy wearing that in the hot sun? I’m hot and itchy looking at her.
Stanbury ridicules herself and all of this over-apologizing in her yap, how it seems like Lesa and Ayan just need someone else to blame.
None of these ladies seem at all interested in this game.
Now we get to the real reason of the gathering, besides bitching. The outfits.
Somehow Lesa gets best dressed for her ultra-preppy look.
******
Stanbury and her man-child man take a boat ride for her birthday celly.
He had a cake made of their house. What guy thinks of this? He cannot be straight.
So inevitably they get into their ‘baby talk.’
I don’t know how many ways she needs to tell him she does not want to start all over again at almost fifty with another whole ass child when she already has four.
At some point he needs to deal with reality. He chose to marry a woman who already has three children and is too dang old to have another.
Sergio: “Look at my eyes. Are we actually having a baby or are we not?”
“Right now, not” she answers and then asks if it’s a deal breaker?
“I want a baby.”
Not sure why she says this is the first time he’s s aid that. Is that a joke? He’s been saying it non-fucking stop??
And why would they go to all of the trouble and expense to have this embryo frozen if they weren’t planning on having this baby?
These ladies are confusing.
