Brooks Stanbury and their follower Taleen, who seems to be drinking the Housewife Bitchy Kool-Aid, are getting glammed as they all mutually complain and bitch about the dresses that they cannot possibly be THIS bent out of shape about.
We get it Brooks, you don’t like MUSTARD!!! And yes you ARE kind of like a hot dog, because hot dogs have no soul and are disgusting.
The others leave for dinner. Typical Housewife non-courtesy BS where no one can send a two second text saying they’re running late or decided not to join.
They decide that Lesa deliberately ‘sabotaged’ them by making sure the designer made their dresses ‘ugly’ on purposes. I mean really.
Sara points out that hers also wasn’t what she would have chosen, and also didn’t have buttons and she wasn’t having a tantrum.
Taleen’s dress is far from ugly. Do they think perhaps it’s not that these dresses are ugly, that perhaps they’re just not their taste?
Wasn’t that kind of the idea? To wear a traditional handmade dress made my the women of the land to represent the country they are in, for ONE fucking hour.
I get it, they are being extra on purpose so we need to roll with it. It’s for attention and camera time, but it’s still ridiculous.
Can we just TRY to be realistic ya know because it’s supposed to be a reality show?
So they decide not to go to dinner because they can’t fathom leaving the villa in these horrific dresses that don’t EVEN have Dolce and Gabanna in big black letters all over them.
Honestly I don’t mean to sound like some goody-two shoes because I’m so not, if you’ve been reading my recaps, I’m the furthest thing from goody-two-shoes, but they’re being so astoundingly disrespectful. It’s not really funny or cute as they think.
Taleen is sounding so ‘pick me’ in her yap raving about how excited she is that she and Brooks are getting along, and if it took her bending over for this bitch and going along with her terrible behavior, then so be it.
I paraphrased.
It was just all so unnecessary, and really, after the whole spiritual ‘gumbaya’ day at the waterfall – love one and all, let’s chill and relax, and then we have Brooks literally screaming with her mouth wide open over the color of her dress a few hours later.
CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP.
YOU CAN’T.
Then there’s Stanbury raving “this is the Brooks she loves.” This is the Brooks she loves? As she continues to yell about the color of a dress she had to wear for an hour?
You LOVE this?
She’s looking at her like a kid in a candy shop. So weird. I can’t fathom thinking this hostile angry energy broad is someone ‘admirable.’ Know what they say. Misery loves company.
These women are off their rockers and so unlike how normal fucking people act.
When they stop the over-the-top screaming about their dresses, they end up doing imitations of each other and having fun. Not sure Stanbury loved being mimicked but she pretended to be a good sport.
The other ladies return from dinner. OhMiGod stop saying buttons!! Who cares!! I thought these ho’s liked walking around half naked!
Let’s be honest they just don’t like to be told what to wear. At least that’s the case with Brooks and Stanbury, and Talene is acting like a fucking follower on crack.
I’m over this, Brooks looks shitfaced as usual. Ayan yells at Stanbury and spits everywhere.
Pick-me Taleen ends up apologizing to Lesa, and Stanbury looks at her like she has six fucking heads.
It shows Taleen is halfway decent. Halfway because she shouldn’t have gone along with the Cunty Carolines to begin with.
I guess Brooks apologized too but I missed it, and I’m not rewinding. She probably said it so fast because she felt like she had to and hates to apologize.
Stanbury’s certainly not buying into this apologizing malarkey though.
Brooks scolds Taleen for apologizing.
Stanbury and Ayan planto skip ATVing and do a different activity so they can talk through their little tiff. That sounds like a bad plan.
I’m so confused how Stanbury keeps saying she didn’t know the voice not was from Lesa?
Ayan played the fucking recording. Who the hell did she think it was? And if she didn’t know who it was, why wouldn’t you ask?
Stanbury and Ayan leave for their destination where they are to talk through their issues.
It was funny how they didn’t interact whatsoever with each other in the car. Not even small talk. So they can’t speak until they arrive to the destination? How dumb.
Couldn’t they have just talked at the house after everyone left? Everything always has to be a huge thing.
Lesa wears a short skirt for ATVing, Hope she’s wearing panties. She lost a lot of weight in comparison to last season, but it hasn’t been mentioned. That always means Ozempic.
I would NOT do this swing.
It continues to be awkward as they get their food. The convo has a slow start and Ayan does get antagonistic as she tends to do, then chills out as Stanbury apologizes profusely which you know she is absolutely hating.
Stanbury starts out by again, which I am flabbergasted by, saying she didn’t know the stupid voice note was from Lesa. “You never told me it was from Lesa.”
I’m torn between she has to be lying or she can’t be that fucking stupid.
Her intention was to “poke a little bit of fun at Sara.” Oh I see, she wanted to fuck with the chick that’s in love with her husband.
They do the swings. I feel like the dude pushes Stanbury with somewhat of an aggression. Pretty sure Ayan pulled him aside and slipped him a twenty.
The ATV’ers come across a random bull tied up in the middle of the forest that’s kind of pissed off, as they’re ATVing. That was weird.
Okay so let’s dive into the disagreement between Sara and Akin, I was anxious to give my two cents on this.
Remember they haven’t even officially defined their relationship, and remember also they live two different countries. Remember also they haven’t even so much as kissed each other. Yes I know it’s a culture thing, but I still find it hard to take it seriously.
Apparently he’s pissed off and telling her she’s not doing it, about a podcast with a sports guy that has stripper pictures or something? I think that’s what she said, she said it really fast both times.
And here’s what I was excited to share just because of how right I am and I like to be right.
I called this dude out when he informed her that if he were to support her financially as she demanded (which is a whole ‘nother issue I already covered), that would give him carte blanche to be in control of her life.
So that wasn’t a red flag Sara? Does she really think there is nothing wrong with this man if he is that good looking, and single? Girl there’s a problem. And the problem is he’s a fucking dick.
I thought she learned a thing or two being married to two control-freak narcissists, about picking up on red flags.
The guy basically told on himself with that comment, that he was a fucking douche and control freak, and she was still too dumb to see it.
So the dude is confused because seems he’s already trying to control her life, and they’re not even an official couple and he’s NOT paying for her.
I like how they refer to him as her ‘exclusive friend’ in his caption. So stupid.
Sara was on WWHL and was asked about Akin and said she found out he was cheating on her. Girl a dude can’t ‘cheat on you’ that you’re not even in a relationship with.
I’m curious who this ‘sports guy’ is. I’m also curious how anything Sara has to say in a podcast is worth 45,000 freaking dollars?
She fucking talks out her ass.
So fun fact we may or may not have known, don’t you love when you actually learn something from Housewives? In Bali they ‘worship the penis.’
Worship the PENIS? What???
They’re spiritual? They pray to them? I cannot even fathom the bedroom conversations that take place there.
Oh no not a psychic! Housewife psychics are very infamous or maybe famous is more appropriate, for accurate predictions. Kyle and Mauricio, (BH) Ramona and Mario, (NYC) Brooks and the cancer… (OC)
I don’t know if this one seems legit though. Her info’s a little TOO accurate according to the recent occurrences.
Her ‘prediction’ to Sara is to remove someone very bad from her life, and Sara just so happened to be in her room bitching about the fake boyfriend from Germany acting like an asshole already.
Brooks is absent from the readings due to a lactose intolerance issue. So very sad.
Taleen gets warned about ‘that woman’ – assuming it’s Brooks.
Stanbury asks her if she’s having a baby and the psychic blurts out “boy.” Which is of course the sex of the ice cube baby she has with Sergio. That info was most likely given to her.
Lesa HATES Stanbury, and makes constipated faces when she gets two seconds of attention from the other ladies.
Lesa gets told she’s “busy.” Okay this fucking SUSS!!! This lady is wah-wah-wah!!
Bravo you could have made it a little bit believable!
She wraps up by telling them to control their emotions. In other words – shut the hell up!!
It’s the big reveal of Ayan’s age – aaaaaaand we STILL don’t know. The dentist gives her a range of 45 – 50. Or was it 50? They talk in riddles on this show sometimes.
So I assume she doesn’t know when her birthday is if she doesn’t even know her age. How is this possible?? Even if they didn’t keep records on it, I don’t get how her mom didn’t know? Whatever. Who cares.
I LOVE drunk Stanbury so much! She’s fun goofy and removes the tree from her ass.
The trip ends on a positive note, and no got arrested, no one did the starting to pack to leave in a huff thing, and literally NO ONE went to the hospital!!
Sounds like a Housewife first to me!
