Caroline Brooks’ pink 20’s inspired dress! love love love! Maybe a lot for lunch but oh well, I’ll allow it, since it’s so freaking adorable. The shoes too, extra cute, ballet shoe inspired, if you caught them from the back when she was walking in.
They order tequila sunrises. I just came up recently with a great modfied Tequila Sunrise. I called it ‘Extra Sunny Tequila Sunrise.’ It’s on my tiktok, but I’ll put it up in my Recipes category too ! You will NOT be disappointed, if you’re a tequila or Margarita person! I was even surprised at how good it was.
Caroline Brooks meets her cousin who also happens to live in Dubai, and Atlanta Housewife crossover, Phaedra, who is looking to buy property in Dubai. I missed how they all know each other. At first I thought she was dating the cousin. But think I was wrong. She says her flight was long. Well yeah I would say 17 hours is pretty long, and when you factor in time difference, has you all messed up when you get there. (8 hours!) Getting stuck in Paris wouldn’t be horrible, as long as you had time to eat somewhere cool!
“Ya all are black folks?” Phadrea says confusingly. “They love us here!!” Brooks answers.
As if she doesn’t love herself enough for everyone. Stole that from Lisa’s tag line on Salt Lake City. Speaking of Salt Lake, who heard about Jen Shah pleading GUILTY to all she was accused of! All of those croc tears all season long. Embarrassing ! 1
The multiple wives is a big thing there? Yeah so not for me. And not because I’m really jealous, it’s just – gross. Although the idea of getting rid of him a few days a week, and passing them on, I like that part. So Dubai is like a really hot Utah.
Caroline explains there are dating and sister wife laws, rules whatever. If you date a Muslim man, they have to treat each of their wives the same. (again, how is this enforced?) The first wife has to give permission for the additional wives. Remember Jennie’s husband on SLC whining about wanting a sister wife all last season? And the dude must give all his bitches “the same lifestyle.” In other words, he can’t have one in Versace, and one in Target. If he can’t afford to give them all an equal lifestyle, he can’t have multiple wives?
So do the dudes have to like, submit bank statements and income documents in order to do this? Like applying for a mortgage?? And can the wives issue a complaint, with law enforcement? This is a lot to take in.
I’m a little bit confused about Brooks. I totally recall in the first episode, that she was bragging about in her divorce, all she wanted was her kid, and she walked away with nothing. Now she’s bragging about how she walked away with what sounds like not nothing, because he cheated, and he owed her?
Also she has been coming off as self made and not needing no fucking man, but her ex-husband is financing this spa?
So Phaedra is moving there? Obviously if she’s looking for property.
There is an indoor ski slope attraction thing in a mall they will be going to. Sounds strange. I would be hard pass on that. I would much rather go to the beach.
Lesa’s youngest is the cutest little kid ever! The boys seem to have taken to ‘Miss Goat.’ Glad she hasn’t made her way to a goat stew yet. Lesa is probably tempted since it sounds like Miss Goat is getting to be a lot. Lesa should like having another female on the premisis, but sounds like Miss Goat is getting her walking papers. AWWW, her oldest is crying ! GOAT GOAT GOAT – keep the goat !!
Alright since there was not a new ep on last week, I’m feeling all discombobulated. I forgot what is going on. So the last one was that dude’s birthday party when Stanbury got all pissy and acted like a grumpy old menopausal lady, scowled all night, and told her husband to have Lesa suck his dick since he dared speak to her and Ayan. What a lovely lady.
Lesa is filling in Rich, who is the cutest sweetest guy ever.
Rich gives her Meredith from SLC advice, (a lot of Salt Lake City references are occurring to me, not sure why) “don’t engage with people like that.” He refers to has as a “50 year-old influencer.” Lesa says “shouting and swearing in public is illegal in Dubai.” This city is mind blowing to me. This should cut down on some of the horrific scenes in restaurants Housewives are always causing in the other cities.
Rich is quite a mature, calm and diplomatic dude. And cute. And rich. Husband jackpot. Pretty sure HE would NOT condone telling another’s 14 year old child to “get the fuck outta here.”
Mauricio Umansky – I’m talkin to YOU ! Can’t wait to hear when his stupid real estate show gets CANCELED BY NETFLIX, because they don’t want to be associated with a racist childish piece of shit.
Caroline Stanbury prepares for Ayan coming for dinner.
Ayan arrives and things are going well. Seems like fake forced niceness, but better than yelling, and telling her she doesn’t like her. Ayan brings up the very sensitive subject of Caroline having more kids to Sergio. She shoos her son off, because they don’t want no new little brats running around, taking the small attention I am sure they get from her.
Sergio says they are having two, and Caroline immediately shuts that down. He’s only allowed one.
Although she has three kids, she says “I’m not a family oriented person at all, I’m pretty like a cactus.”
Sergio on the other had says “I’m all about family.” Explain to me why he is marrying her? They seem to have nothing in common at all. She’s 20 years older than him, he’s sweet, she’s not sweet, he wants kids, she doesn’t.
She uses the excuse of going to boarding school as being a cold and emotionless person. Caroline goes on to say if she were to give him this baby, “it’s his and she is handing him over.” This poor guy. Can you imagine your wife and future mother of your kid saying this? He always gritting his teeth and pretending to be amused through her offensive comments, but I think he’s really uncomfortable and hurt by her heartless rhetoric. She thinks it’s cute.
Ayan says that she has 30 siblings between her mom’s and dad’s new relationships, and step-siblings. Well I’m sorry to hear her dad went on to father more children. They discuss the argument at the other party. Ayan is going to be also having a birthday party, and does not know if she’s 35 or 40, according to different passports. Which is weird because I just saw something on a FaceBook chat group I’m in, that she’s actually 44? Seems she and Caroline have this in common. Neither of them seem to know how old they are.
Nina and Sara travel to Sara’s family in a nearby city, that is stricter than Dubai. Sara is saging under Nina’s skirt. Relaxing her vagina? Blowing smoke up her ass, literally. Then she starts to cough from all of the smoke going up her face.
Ayan is as usual overdressed in formal wear for a casual meeting. But she’s a supermodel, you know. I sort of have to chuckle at what she is wearing to the mall with Lesa. Looks like there are feathers flyin. I remember Brooks making fun of her in the first episode, “that when she enters the room, first of all, there are feathers flying in your face…”
She meets with Lesa at the mall, and they’re discussing her birthday party. Let’s hope Stanbury doesn’t demand one of the other ladies sucks Sergio’s dick again. Maybe she got that out of her system. Ayan didn’t know about the dick sucking comment. Ayan calls an ‘acquaintance’ a ‘coincidence.’ I’m warming up to her. She came on a little strong in the first couple episodes, with the super model thing, her bad ass bitch in three languages. But she is funny, and sometimes does shut up about how she’s a super model. But I sort of get her now, knowing about her past.
Time for the mall inside skiing event. We have a crazy covidiot masker in the corner that’s put off by all the germs swarming around as they’re getting their ski gear on.
So now Stanbury refers to herself as 46. She has to be first Housewife to have aged 3 years while filming.
Lesa is extremely put off by the fact that Caroline S doesn’t want to don the mall’s ski outfits. I’m going to have to actually side with Caroline on this one. Not sure why Lesa was getting her ski panties all in a bunch about it. Seems pretty silly. Now it seems like since Caroline made up with Ayan, now she and Lese are at each other’s throats. Caroline is already scowling and looking constipated as usual.
She proudly announces that she’s “not skiing” since she is an avid skier, and brags in her yap how she has skied all over the world, and this is so juvenile and ridiculous for her to be skiing in a mall on this teeny tiny hill.
She does lose her scowl as long as Lesa isn’t trying to speak to her. She even loosens up, looks like she’s almost having fun, and takes on the ‘instructor’ sort of role with the ladies.
And I even caught a smile! Not even gritting her teeth. Oh yes I did! She seems to be hitting it off with Phaedra.
Ayan’s birthday night – Awwww her husband is so sweet. They talk about her strange gifts of a goat and lemons. Grumpy old Caroline chimes in with “she didn’t get anything!” (When Ayan was a guest at for dinner at her house) That’s because you’re a mean old lady. No one buys mean old ladies anything. Actually, she should have brought her a fucking goat, and fed it some exlax or prunes right before bringing it, to make made sure it had diarrhea all over her yard !
They start to talk about the wedding, which I’m ready for to be over. Can’t imagine what a string of unpleasantness that is going to be. They talk about both sets of their parents arriving in Dubai, and right away the grumpy old lady, starts bitching about not being “family oriented” and boarding school and blaaahhhhh blahhhhhhn. We know.
Both sets of parents will be staying at their house for three days. His parents are probably fun and cool like him, and hers are cold and snakey like her. That should get interestingly.
Caroline says that Sergio and his mother can sleep in Nina’s house after she makes a joke that her door is open. Sergio looks so hurt at her mean- spirited comments about his mom. She doesn’t care.
Caroline says she has “zero interest” in spending any time with his parents. The nerve of him to want her to “sit with his parents both nights.” (whom she’s never even met) Miss Popular has “loads of friends flying in from America.” (why America and not England? Doesn’t totally matter but just wondered.)
Nina says in her yap how disrespectful she is being, she’s never even met them before, and she’s not going to take the time in a few days before the wedding to get to know them a little? And be a hostess, and at least TRY to make a good impression to these people that DON’T EVEN WANT HIM TO MARRY HER MEAN OLD ASS!~ (and she’s making it quite clear that they do they have a point.)
Nina tries to reason with her. Of course you can’t. She goes so far as to say that “she didn’t want to get married.” WHO DOES THIS? Everyone just like stops cold, and looks at her like she’s an alien. Sergio again looks so sad. Assuming he proposed to her, then why did she say YES, if she didn’t want to get married.
Brooks seems to be enjoying Stanbury making herself look like a fool. She even goes on to say that getting married again was not her dream, and it’s only because he’s younger? Ohmigod, she won’t stop. It keeps getting worse and worse.
“I have friends that flew from LA that I should sit with, and they aren’t your parents.”
Okay 1. why can’t everyone just be together? Why is it this a separate either or thing. Or spend the day with the parents and evening with the friends. His parents are probably like her friends’ age, so they should get along.
And 2, since when, if you have friends coming in for your wedding, are you obligated to entertain them two days and nights prior to the wedding? That’s what the wedding is for. I feel like you are more obligated to your partner’s family. I think she just likes to throw her weight around with him and piss him off for fun.
She says in her yap she speaks to her parents 2 or 3 times a year (what? even like phone communication, only 2 or 3 times per year? And she says it’s so “foreign” the way he is close to his parents. No Caroline it’s “foreign” to only speak to your parents 2 or 3 times over 365 fucking days.
Boarding school excuse again. So every single person on the planet that went to boarding school is an icy cold freak that hates her parents and kids?
Ayan says in her yap she gives this train wreck marriage two years, I agree. Maybe even one. Her dress is beautiful. Not sure about the whole head thing, but I love her dress!
Their argument comes to a halt when the cake is presented to Ayan. Ayan’s son makes a sweetest ever toast to his mom. He’s such a cutie. At the risk of sounding like a dirty old woman, he has the most gorg lips. Girls would kill for those!
Ayan is another year older. We don’t know how old, but it’s one year older than she was. (35, 40, 43 …? ) We don’t know.
