Getting prepared for the nuptials of the happy couple. Ayan has chosen her look for the engagement event, where Caroline has demanded everyone wear white. Preparing for the parents to meet each other. Yes we know Caroline, your parents are English and cold, and Sergio’s are Spanish and cool.
Got it. We know. The apples didn’t fall far from the trees. Now Caroline is 46 years old she says in her yap, and she could not care less what her parents think. Her parents arrive and yes, her mother looks like she has a stick up her ass. She reminds me of Heather Dubrow on OC. Her mom’s first question is if his parents can speak English. She’s probably hoping they don’t so she doesn’t have to speak to them. It seems awkward when they first are sitting down together but then the ice seems to be broken after some strange comments. Caroline seems to be on her best behavior. I’m sure she’s not going to treat him like her lap dog in front of his parents. The Dad may reopen the offer of payment to break up with her.
Again how she was whisked off to boarding school, and Sergio grew up “working class.” I think we all got that too.
Her dad says, of all things to say, “I assumed she would marry a nice 55 year old man with plenty of money.” What the literal fuck. Caroline looks mortified. Did she not go over with them, things not to say ? Such as do they speak English, and I didn’t imagine her marrying some broke ass kid in his 20’s. Caroline chugs her champs as Sergio mumbles something about “building an empire together.” I forget what this kid does for work.
Miss Goat seems to have made herself at home and will be staying with the Milan/Hall clan. I like Lesa’s scenes because you barely ever see the Housewives that have younger kids out in their yards playing and actually using their swimming pool. Of course there is a nanny chick playing with her kids.
Brooks calls Lesa to fill her in on Sara telling her to be closer to her son. With that whole thing, since I didn’t do an article about that episode, I don’t think Sara was coming from a bad place. But I do see how the ladies would get annoyed with her constant two cents and advice. Apparently she has an “Honorary PhD” in women’s empowerment and leadership. So you can see how people would get annoyed with her butting in and giving unsolicited advice. You can also see how Caroline Brooks would not he having it and proceed to freak the fuck out.
Nina calls Sara to let her know Brooks is pissed off. I guess she is calling all of the ladies to bitch about it and fill them in. Instead of just calling Sara directly. Sara claims she really didn’t criticize her actual parenting. She merely said she could be more warm and fuzzy and break the cycle of being ‘militant.’ So even saying that, she really did critique her parenting style. Brooks is getting some of the exact verbiage wrong, but she is communicating the gist of what she was being told. I love Nina, she’s my fave. She’s so cute and friendly, and just not an asshole. I don’t think she relayed her convo to Sara to be shady, just maybe more of a forewarning.
Caroline Stanbury gets ready for this desert engagement soiree thing. She has two women fussing over her, one doing her hair, and one giving her a face massage. Sergio is hanging in the room, and hovering over her. This scene is really troubling because, again she talks to him like he’s a fucking child. This dude most have mommy issues to want to be in a relationship like this.
So he goes back and sits on the bed, and Caroline says she just got a text from Sara filling her in on the drama with Brooks. Sergio then gets up from the bed and comes over to her. I assume he thinks she’s going to show him the message. He’s all about being in the ladies’ drama, so he wants to see the message. Caroline promptly shoos him away, and orders him to take his place back on the bed, and not crowd her.
I feel so bad for him. He never stands up to her and tells her to stop acting like such a witch.
Sara sent out a text to the group bitching at Brooks, and giving her recount of their conversation, which is slightly different from what Brooks is telling everyone.
Caroline is wearing a $700,000 diamond choker necklace to her event, and a $200 prom dress from Gunne Sax. Sergio seems to be feeling left out of the glamming, and asks her “how do you want me to wear my hair?” She ridicules him of course. She’s wearing some sort of cowboy boots with her prom dress that are “specially made for the desert.” Sergio is fussing around so much, she is actually ready, and he’s still walking around without his shirt on, begging for her approval of his outfit and hair.
Nina’s dad is in the hospital with covid and doesn’t seem to be doing well. Hopefully they’re giving him the correct meds that have been available all along since Day 1 in 2020. She talks in her yap how he was supposed to be only going in for one day, but they ended up keeping him. Hope he is okay.
This shindig is literally in the desert. It really is a stunning view. Everyone seems to have understood the assignment, and wearing their head to toe white. This seems to be the thing now across all of the Bravo shows, the guest of honor tells you what color you’re supposed to wear. They basically all look like they’re wearing wedding dresses.
For some reason though, she only gets pissed at Ayan, because she thinks hers is an actual wedding dress. Not sure there are many brides that would wear a body suit and cape as a wedding dress. I think the other gowns look more like wedding dresses than Ayan’s.
Guess she’s just ticked that Ayan is in couture and she borrowed her daughter’s Homecoming dress. Caroline is making it the biggest fucking deal ever. (remember she ordered everyone to wear white) She thinks her blonde wig in a veil. Maybe that’s what’s making her unravel.
What do we think of the yaps where Caroline is sitting on Sergio’s lap? I think it is 100% awkward and weird. She has to be regretting that, watching it back. Maybe if she was petite it would look cute.
I don’t know. Not sure why Sergio thought he had to be in the yap session. He seriously seems to think he is a Housewife.
She continues to bitch in her yap about it, even though by this point she realizes the ‘veil’ was a blonde wig. She just takes every opportunity to criticize Ayan. It’s a lot like Crazy MarHoe on Atlanta with Kenya. It’s starting to come off as jealousy. She points at her and says “Did you come as me?” Again, she. Ordered. Everyone. To. Be. In fucking white. She’s still insisting there is a veil. There is no veil. Caroline sit the hell down! Sorry you chose to get your dress from JC Penney, and Ayan is in couture. Not sure Ayan is picking up on her sarcasm. Caroline walks away calling her “the rudest wedding guest ever.” (Does Caroline not know this is NOT the wedding?) Of course she has her lap dog chiming in that this was the rudest thing ever, and she totally ruined the event because her dress is cooler than Caroline’s.
Brooks is coming in hot with her two guy friends with her, and demanding flowing alcohol from the bartender. She’s stomping in the sand looking for Nina, who she’s pissed at for telling Sara that she’s mad at her. Not sure why that is an issue, but it just is! She thinks Nina is being ‘messy.’
She addresses her concerns with Nina. She’s making all kinds of strange faces and doing the toothy snarly thing, that seems to be common now with the Housewives. Maybe it’s because they all have fake teeth. Meanwhile, Sara is filling in Lesa and Ayan on this very infamous conversation.
They’re trying to make Sara see how her advice could be perceived as meddling and judgmental.
Brooks is yelling at Nina now. She tells her “so what” when Nina tells her she has things going on with her. Every Housewife franchise needs that one housewife who says things like “so what!! I’m talking now !” And thinks it’s perfectly fine.
I sort of think Nina’s dress looks more like a wedding gown than Ayan’s.
As Lesa points out, not sure why she’s not addressing it directly with Sara, instead of everyone else, but her.
Brooks is feeling no pain. Her strap keeps falling down. She claps her hands and yells “waiter!!” So that’s pretty gauche.
I feel like she is following the Housewife assignment by cornering and yelling at Sara, instead of speaking to her like a normal person.
She tells Sara that she feels judged. Sara corrects her that she just said that should be closer with him, and did not say affectionate, which is kind of the same. They go back and forth with “no I didn’t say this, I said that…” The argument is so stupid because they’re nitpicking about these different word usages, that are all very similar. Bottom line is Sara should have kept her mouth shut. And Brooks is stupid.
Caroline kind of loses it. Sara tells her to drop this Caroline, bring out the real Caroline. Caroline tells her to bring out the real Sara. Sara looks at the producer/camera people and is like “what the hell is this?”
This is Housewives, Sara. Good thing they’re outside of Dubai, where yelling like a lunatic isn’t illegal.
