I give Housewives side-eye when they do this shit:
Have these ‘donation’ sessions for a designated cause they pretend to care about. We then clean out our closets, find shit we don’t want anymore, and donate it to whatever cause the wife is sponsoring (Sorry but these are Housewives. They’re not fucking deep let’s be honest.)
How about just write out a check? These hurricane victims of Grenada don’t want your discarded fake designer duds. They want food and money.
Then, inevitably the Housewife running the donation drive makes judgy comments about what some of the others donate, or do not donate.
We’ve seen this before. Many times.
Shamea’s daughter is coming off kind of bratty and entitled for not wanting to donate her outgrown clothes. Shamea says she’s trying to teach her not to be bratty but I think maybe it’s too late.
Porsha cliams she’s very philanthropic and she sent a donation. Yeah I’m going to need to see a screenshot of that transaction Porsha.
Cuz I think you’re full of shit.
Brit brings one box with two things in it, and claims she has so much stuff but couldn’t carry everything to the car, so she’s having some phantom person drop it all off later. I saw in next week’s preview, this does indeed come up. So be ready.
Calling bull shit on that one too.
Shamea lets her know the pick-up is in an hour so her fake person needs to hurry with her fake donations items.
So there was really that much stuff, that it couldn’t fit in her car huh? Or she was too lazy to carry it? Not sure which.
She refers to her event as stressful because of the event planner. The fucking lies spewing from this woman’s mouth.
It’s literally not the event planner’s fault Brit, that YOU chose to serve only the Housewives a meal, and not the other guests. WHO does that at an event? Feeds only certain people in front of everyone? I never heard of anything so uncouth.
Also word on the streets is that Brit never paid the tab for the event and I am sure, if true they’re using the excuse that they were pissed off about the menus being placed at the tables of the people they weren’t feeding.
I am actually a little surprised Bravo doesn’t pick up the tabs for these stupid ‘events.’
Like give them a budget that they are willing to pay, and if they go over THEN the Housewife is responsible for the balance. That seems fair. They pay for the trips so why not the events?
They need them to hold these fake parties for an arguing venue, so why is it their responsibility to pay for it?
They’re clearly throwing these parties, trying to keep up with the Joneses, that they can’t afford to pay for.
Enough of that.
******
Moving on, Porsha meets up with Drew for tea. Spilling the tea, and the tea. Here we go with this again because this cannot be let go to die, because neither one of them have anything else but their divorces.
And holy shit a Housewife getting a divorce? What? You don’t say.
And it’s messy? What?? So very interesting, Not.
See, Paige Desorbo! I can do sarcasm too!! You’re no the only one!
Here we go again. Porsha whining she’s so bothered about this when no one even cares at this point. It’s so four weeks ago.
Judging by Dennis being virtually present when she signed her contract, I’m assuming Porsha won the battle and he won’t be ‘feeelming’ with her anymore.
Everyone is over it. Porsha ‘feeelmed’ having dinner with Ralph, in retaliation because that’s certainly what mature adults do.
Drew continues to deny any type of romantic or friends with benefits relationship with Dennis.
If you want my opinion, yes they absolutely have hooked up.
Maybe not banging it out every night, but I would say saliva and fluids were exchanged.
We’re adults here and know how this all works. Housewives, House Husbands, House Boyfriends are horny as hell. And they love the crossovers.
Clearly Dennis told Porsha they hooked up, even though I’m sure he promised Drew he wouldn’t. Yes guys lie, but I don’t think he would have told Porsha that if it wasn’t true. He probably asked her not to blab.
Drew claims she’s not dating anyone at the moment because she’s going through a divorce. Okay, that makes loads of sense. People date when they’re fucking married for crissakes. Ask my ex-husband about that and his ugly fucking ho of a wife.
I don’t get why Drew is so secretive and trying to act like Mother Theresa about her lovelife. Housewives waste NO TIME between men. Ever.
Drew tells Porsha she knows she’s dating someone, whose name gets bleeped.
The secrets about who they’re dating. I don’t get it.
Also who cares.
Drew is actually extremely defensive, so do the math.
Porsha quickly exits since bleep’s name was mentioned and I’m guessing she doesn’t want that.
Same game she played when meeting with Shamea when she wanted Shamea to stop talking. She demanded they leave and take their food to go
******
Kelli’s husband, wow just wow. The dude doesn’t even pretend to care about his kids. I guess that shouldn’t really surprise me THAT much. Given my ex-husband.
He doesn’t even want to see his daughters at all. And isn’t shy about saying so.
What a fucking piece of shit.
******
They leave for Grenada. Phaedra and Cynthia are included. Happy that Cynthia is along. Phaedra is just weird to me, and not a fun kind of weird.
Can’t wait for the room arguments and pouting, if someone doesn’t dare get a 2000 SF suite.
God forbid we would have to share a fucking room on their free Caribbean vacay.
Roomies are being assigned. I like how they’re all sharing their room with someone. The real tantrums start when only two people have to share, and the rest get their own rooms.
And if there are dreaded single beds? Well God help the hostess.
I love how they’re all called ‘premium suites.’
In a strange turn of events, but funny, Drew and Cynthia arm wrestle for the big bed since their suite has one big bed and two twin beds.
I don’t understand if you’re sleeping alone, what is the big fucking deal about a twin bed?
Drew is so much smaller than Cynthia, I would just take the twin bed and not be a fucking baby.
Drew won the arm wrestling battle so Cynthia gets the twin. Then I think Drew feels bad, and tells her to take the big bed. So much drama over bed size.
Cynthia admits to being a cougar dating a much younger guy. Drew still insists and is clearly lying, that she is not seeing anyone, but does have a ‘friend.’
She’s “meeting people.” Okay Drew. And what’s with those sunglasses?
Cynthia doesn’t believe her either, but is too nice to say it. This insistence that she can’t possibly see anyone because of the messy divorce proceedings is ludicrous, and she knows that.
******
Seems there’s a streaker at the resort. No one seems to be complaining.
With the way Kelli dresses, I totally believe she is getting happy ending massages. I wouldn’t be shocked if she is GIVING happy ending massages.
Kelli brings up Shamea and Drew’s ‘beef.’
Again, this paying for Pilar’s college thing which Shamea and Porsha took completely literally.
The point Drew was trying to make, (I hate that I think Drew makes sense) is that she is providing Dennis income (supposedly) so Porsha should be happy about that, and shut it about her jealousy and petty ‘feeelming with Drew’ issues.
Now whether it’s true or not, about the income, of course remains to be seen. But the point is that it wasn’t fucking literal and was not that deep. But here we are bringing it up for the umpteenth fucking time.
I agree with Drew (again, sorry!) “We’re back here.” Yes, we are. Producers do NOT want them to drop anything ever, we’re learning.
Some Housewives are talking that Producers tell them to keep bringing up a grievance and not move on.
And while we’re at it, can we drop this lap dog shit too?
I kind of like how Drew is remaining calm.
She clarifies what I just said, that college comment was just to say her working with him is potential income in which he can take care of his daughter with (AKA provide Porsha with child support payments.)
And we know she looks forward to those child support deposits.
This isn’t complicated ladies. They’re making themselves look and sound really, really dumb.
So moving on, not really, we’re beating another dead horse: The Porsha and Shamea ‘friendship.’
They’re clearly trying to activate Drew by telling her ‘everyone has a problem with her except Cynthia.’
She says she takes no issue with Porsha; it’s her having the problem. That’s a valid point. I almost feel like I’m losing brain cells backing up and agreeing with Drew, but I give credit where it’s due!
Bleep guy gets brought up again that Porsha is/was dating, as well as this ‘Black’ dude, whomever that is, that Drew is definitely NOT dating, because you know, she’s going through a divorce and all.
The fact that she’s able to keep repeating this with a straight face is impressive. I guess she is a good actress.
Drew seems to have assumed that Dennis wasn’t going to gossip about her to Porsha. She assumed wrong.
Porsha keeps saying things like she’s over it, and not giving it energy as she continues to NOT be over it and give it ‘energy.’
Fourth wall breaking right and left as they discuss ‘the show.’
This used to be a whole big thing, and not allowed. I guess Bravo has thrown in the towel and said fuck it, since it’s no longer reality, and we all know it.
In the end Drew apologizes and again points out that Dennis said he discussed their collab with Porsha, which he did not. Pretty sure he’s a little afraid of her.
Brit wants to speak. Does she have to?
Oh for fuck’s sake. Her big announcement is that Phaedra’s fucking ex was invited to her stupid event through Mike, because they HAPPEN to know each other.
Yes, read the room.
And bull to the SHIT that there wasn’t ‘malicious intent’ by inviting Apollo and his new bitch.
Of course there was!! It’s what we do!
Rest assured thirsty-ass Apollo will be showing up at some fucking point with his new ho.
Clearly the desperate theme of this season is to bring the ex’s around as much as possible to get everyone all cranked up.
Stupid.
