Kenya checks out the venue for Brooklyn’s 3rd birthday party. She seems obsessed with high ceilings.
$10 – 15g for a 3 year old’s tea party the planner tells her. Kenya starts boring this poor girl who’s forced into a mouth diaper, (Kenya is NOT wearing one) about “how she’s going through a divorce, and not sure if the ex is going to help pay for it…” Girlllll by the sound of this dude, he is gonna be laughing in your face when you ask for 5g for a tea party. This chick looks at her like she does not give two shits. She is just looking for a yay or nay on the price tag. She doesn’t care about your divorce drama. Nobody does because everyone could see, except you what a piece of shit he is, (aka “alpha male” as she kept calling him to make excuses for his bad behavior) and your marriage was going to last five minutes.
Marlo and Sheree meet and work out for two or three seconds, mostly to gossip and wear their cute workout clothes. I can’t believe people pay for personal trainers anymore. Work outs can be easily obtained on line now, not to mention all of the streaming classes. Marlo arrives and works out for 11 seconds, and needs a break. The trainer is dismissed.
They start talking about Le Archive, and how she knows it’s “not for everyone, and wants to keep it in the industry”
Marlo is yacking in her yap about how she’s taking acting classes and she is an actress but she doesn’t “run her mouth about it, like the other girls.” If she is participating in acting jobs, wouldn’t she be like, I don’t know, ‘seen’ in shows, or plays, or something, somewhere?
She’s talking about her IMDb and gets corrected by Producers when she says ‘IMBD’. If you were also clueless as to what that is – here is the def (Internet Movie Database)
IMDb is an online database of information related to films, television series, home videos, video games, and streaming content online – including cast, production crew and personal biographies, plot summaries, trivia, ratings, and fan and critical reviews. Wikipedia
I thought that the whole point to being a working actress was for exposure? I guess technically anyone can say “they’re an actress.” Hey, I’m an actress, I pretend to be happy sometimes when I’m really not. This woman is confusing me. Maybe that’s by design. She wants to project this aura of mystery? I don’t know. Like I said, I didn’t watch Atlanta on her first go around.
Being quite eccentric seems to be this woman’s schtick.
This poor destitute unpaid assistant of Sheree’s is the new topic. Sheree said “he didn’t do anything!” (therefore he did not get paid)
Sheree said the infamous Anthony (this assistant has a name, unlike Ralph’s) shared with her a shitload of tea about Drew and what goes on in her household.
Marlo does the stationary bike for 6 seconds. Sheree is actually trying to burn a few cals. Marlo couldn’t care less.
Marlo and Sheree talk about L’Archive vs Le’Archive (that is a little embarrassing, when she was getting the logo drawn and plastered all over everything, no one knew that wasn’t right?) They gossip about Kenya’s texting her party invites and her white fridge ten years ago. Guys I’m literally so sick of hearing about this white fridge already? If that’s really all you got, girl, you are RA -EACH – ING.
Sit down! Oh you’re already sitting down, cuz ya sure ain’t workin out !!!
Guess Kenya and Sheree were for NOT reals friends. They seemed to have some sort of bond on last week’s episode. Who knows. I don’t know why I would think that.
I like Kandi, but I don’t think that she is going to be winning an Oscar anytime soon, as she says is her goal. Or ever. Todd walks in her office because I was just sitting here wondering, why isn’t goofy sketchy weirdo Todd in this scene ? NOT!
Her manager in the computer asks if he minds Kandi doing girl on girl scene. He’s all for that, then he goes right into his bitch crying about Kandi basically not paying enough attention to him, and being sex starved. In his yap he says they’re only doing it, 2 – 3 times a week. For married and two little kids, he’s complaining about that?
Dude says, “can I be honest” then flops down on this bright pink patent Barbie chair that looks like a pair of boots that I have. He proceeds to tell her he feels “a little left out.” Kandi tells him she tries to include him in what she’s doing.
God for fucking bid a woman’s dude feels “excluded” from something because his wife or girlfriend is succeeding! My God is there a dude anywhere that doesn’t act like a two year old. (that’s rhetorical) My ex BF AND my ex husband were both like this. Like holy bloody hell, I can’t be getting more attention for one second, without them getting pet and fawned over like a toddler! I can’t have time for MY self. What the literal fuck.
Anyway got on a rant. She tells him he was trying to cut her out of “Socialize” which is some crap he’s doing that sounds stupid.
Her manager, or whomever she was talking to, is still on the screen when this goofy little turd ball decided he was bored, and heard Kandi talking in her office, and distracted her from her meeting. Kandi said she didn’t care about Socialize, but if she does the same thing, he cries about it.
Todd is acting like a big fat whiny jealous baby. Typical fucking guy.
He thinks his “talents aren’t appreciated.” He says he does stuff behind the scenes and Kandi gets credit. He is resentful of this although he denies it, as he’s sitting there in his girlie tangerine hoodie in a pink patent chair, pouting and wailing about nothing. I hope he’s embarrassed watching this, and seeing how ridiculous he sounds. Be a man dude! Be okay with backing up your wife and seeing her shine, and getting less attention! Christ! Call your mommy you pathetic excuse for a man. You might think I’m being too harsh, but I don’t think I am.
I ‘appreciate his talent’ of embarrassing himself, and his species, proving me right about men, by sitting here in a bubble gum pink chair whining to his wife like a stupid little bitch. He’s very talented at that. Hey Todd, I appreciate you! Gimme a break. Moron. And I can’t stand that stupid long beard while I’m talking about this pussy. Kandi, lose this loser. You and Drew both, ditch the 200 pound toddlers!
Send them both back to their Mommies! Her manager on the screen is like, “hello, still here” forced to listen to Todd humiliate himself.
Sheree’s former assistant is Drew’s current assistant, and bitches to Drew, while shopping for Brooklyn, about not getting paid by Sheree. Twitter folks think that Sheree probably does owe him money, however he’s coming across extremely “thirsty” and desperate for camera time. I believe that, because Drew posted on Twitter Sunday night, “what do you think of my assistant, Anthony?”
Is he looking for a Housewife spot or something? And you really want a messy dude like that walking around your house and spilling about your life? Granted she’s on TV spilling it, but still. He needs to get his own gig.
Sanya calls Drew, and was in a car accident. Nobody was hurt so I can make a joke about it right? Without ya all getting “triggered” because you were in a car accident six years ago? I was actually thinking “good I’m ready to break up this boring episode about Kenya’s white fridge and Todd’s bitch crying!”
Sadly the car accident dialogue and scene only lasted like four seconds. Sanya is fine, just shook up. Car not so much. Drew takes a break from gossiping to ‘the assistant’ about Sheree, to retrieve her from the accident scene. When you get hit by an 18 wheeler, and are living to talk and laught about it, that’s pretty impressive. If she were in a ‘Honda Civic’ she may not have made it. If you watch Summer House, you got that little joke. Of course they all drive Escalades.
Anthony the assistant is disappointed because now they’re not going for tacos. Poor Anthony. Sucks to be him.
I’m assuming Marlo knew two teenage boys wouldn’t want to go to a toddler tea party. Sanya’s son not so lucky. He doesn’t seem to have the option of declining the invite. Her husband predicts he’s going to “go ape shit.”
Party time for Brooklyn! Miracle baby girl is turning three years old! I would call her a miracle, to have a healthy baby at 48! I don’t mean that disrespectfully – that’s just a really big chance to take. Not to mention she’s going to be pushing 70 with a teenager! Oh Lordy!
Everyone arrives (one hour late – cuz they gotta be “fashionably late” of course) to Brooklyn’s extravagant tea birthday party. A lot of the ladies are wearing fascinators for the tea party theme.
Drew is wearing this dress that EVERYONE across the HW franchises has been wearing in various colors. Viewers were tweeting about it Sunday night, and I asked if anyone knew the brand or designer and someone did! It’s an H&M x Giambattista Valli collab (kind of surprised Housewives would wear H&M, but kind of not because it is sort of cheap looking.) Apparently he specializes in tulle. I did a quick research. It’s showing price of $399 on this website. I also saw the bright pink one on ebay for $750.
https://www.thecut.com/2019/11/giambattista-valli-is-collaborating-with-h-and-m.html
Kenya wore it two years ago, as she points out, and thinks that Drew copied her.
Kyle from OC wore it in black to an event that wasn’t featured on the show, Erika from OC wore it in bubble gum pink like Kenya’s. (my favorite) Jen Shah on SLC wore it to Whitney’s event, and here we have Drew wearing it in white. That’s a lot of damned housewives wearing the same dress. I think it’s cute, it’s up my alley in the froofroo department, especially the pink one. It’s not for everyone. (it may be cute for one of my tik tok videos! – follow me on Tik Tok if you’re on!) I’m not sure I would wear it in public to a serious formal event. It looks more suitable for a teenager or 20 something. I didn’t like it on Kyle at all. I think she wore it worst. Possibly Erika on BH wore it best I hate to say. I think you need to also be tall for it, which is why it didn’t look right on Kyle, and I’m not loving it on Drew either. I’m also petite so it wouldn’t look great on me probably.
Drew speaks with Sanya, and they flash to one of Drew and Ralph’s typical arguments where she’s pissed he’s sleeping in their son’s room, and he’s lying his ass off as usual. This dude is TOXIC MALE ENERGY !! DISGUSTING !
What’s with the housewives and having a French peepee when no one “greets” them at the door with a glass of champagne at a party or event? Marlo is bitching already about this. Girl, sit down, you’re not the guest of honor! Did she greet everyone at her weird mannequin event ? No she didn’t. She served cheap sugar water, Moscato, for chrissakes, and didn’t even emerge for an hour. I’m surprised no one was bitching about the moscato. Maybe they liked it. Very low class wine beverage in my opinion. Oh, and why is she carrying an umbrella? I didn’t notice it was raining.
I’m not sure why Kenya has Brooklyn walking in this way to everyone staring at her taking her picture. Seems quite overwhelming for a three year old don’t you think? She looks scared and confused. It would have made more sense for her to be with Kenya as people are arriving. Kenya had to make it as dramatic as possible instead of what would be more comfortable for her child. Cool.
She looks adorable of course. I’m not loving how Kenya has her dressed totally. A tweed blazer seems a little mature for her. And where is the pink ? I need a pop of pink on this child !
Kandi approaches Kenya with a diatribe of excuses as to why she’s so late. Kenya is not caring about her list of issues, and is annoyed, and tells her to shut up, sort of. Kandi should have just said “shit happens Im late, deal with it!”
‘Shady tea game’ goin down at the ‘adult table.’ The party planner is having them all write down some ‘tea’ that they have on someone.
Sanya’s son is not having this girly tea party nonsense! She should have brought things to entertain this kid. News flash Sanya – a little boy is bored and annoyed at a froofy little girl’s birthday party. She slams the poor kid on the couch. Sure Sanya, he’s just going to sit there ! Have you met your kid before? Little boys don’t sit. Even bringing him here is cruel and unusual punishment.
Trivia game: Brooklyn’s middle name (Kenya’s mom’s name) is my mom’s name too! So cute Triva is wrapped up, and now on to the “shady tea”
And with that, dick sucking is the new topic at a little girl’s birthday party. I mean why the hell not right ? Only on Housewives! They’re always picking on Kandi about past sexual escapades, before she was with Todd I assume. Who even cares? She is defending that she never sucked a D in a locker room. Again who cares? Sucking ten guys’ dicks in a locker room, then okay, it’s gossip and trashy. I’d rather talk about Kenya’s white fridge. No one is claiming their question. Kenya gets some shade in there about Kandi’s tardiness.
However I’m seeming to recall Ultimate Girls Trip when Kenya arrived to dinner an hour late, due to getting glammed, and even proceeded to grab food on the way from the kitchen help, when the rest of the ladies were also starving, but waiting on her to start eating. And sat there and ate in front of everyone! They were all telling her how rude that was, and she was like “whatever I’m hungry -I have low blood sugar…” And continued to shovel food into her face !!
I’ve never seen anything so rude in my life (okay in my life I have) Oh and ALSO, last season didn’t she proceed to order food for herself only, when she was the hostess on a trip? Again Kenya practice what the fuck you preach in the etiquette and punctuality department or shut it. Can’t stand hypocrisy. Some of these ladies wrote the book on hypocrisy. They’re NYT Bestsellers on hypocrisy. So Kenya sit down about Kandi being late. Shit happens.
Next question is Le’Archive event, and someone points out that the website has no content. Marlo defends the event and concept, and says you have to send an email for a request of one of her prized designer possessions, because she dated a millionaire ten years ago you know. It is strange to have a website set up and noting on it. Whatever. That whole thing seems sketchy. How do people even know what you have if there is no website with photos? From that stupid event?
I can’t imagine that it is going to be this big lucrative money making venture. Wonder if she made her $120,000 from that event that she shelled out 40g for? Seems like she just pulled that $120g out of her ass, as her estimated profit. is this thing a cover for something ? Does she sell drugs? Have an escort service ? Something is up.
Marlo how dare you buy a used Rolls? What the actual fuck woman? Kenya and Marlo argue about this amongst other things. Kenya now feels the need to stand up, and she’s like 6 feet tall, so it’s carrying throughout the room I’ m sure, and yells “no it’s not BITCH!” about Marlo’s accusation that she borrowed someone’s white car (during the white fridge period – hey maybe she just likes white!) in front of other children Well this is entertaining and we are going for entertainment value on Housewives, however this is shitty to do this at this event. It’s obvi these two are competitive AF. They remind of Karen and Gizelle on Potomac.
Next tea is Sheree doesn’t pay her people. Sheree’s face every time it’s brought up, (800 times so far in 3 eps) is telling me I think it’s true. Apparently this is a thing with her. Why would you want it out in the press and have people talking that you don’t pay people? That’s so embarrassing. She always has an over exaggerated confused to look to me when it’s brought up. She claims he was never her assistant. Now she’s squealing loudly. How can there be confusion about whether or not he was her assistant? Not adding up. Not to mention that’s her story sometimes, or he “didn’t do anything” sometimes. (as in she did hire him and his work wasn’t up to par) Even so, you still pay people for the time they did put in before you parted ways.
Now a non housewife ‘friend of Sheree’s’ as her caption is showing, is telling Drew that this Anthony character is telling people that Ralph is gay. She looks right at Drew as she says, “he is saying your husband is gay…” Drew and this chick are now fighting.
One of the guests starts freaking at overhearing their arguing and inappropriate conversation in the presence of children. Kenya tells the “bougie white lady” as Marlo refers to her as, (she didn’t really seem bougie, she just seemed to have commons sense, also did you see what she was wearing? She’s so not bougie, she can’t even afford a decent bra.) Kenya tells her “don’t take it personal” ‘Bougie white lady says “it’s not personal!” With that she summons her nanny and off they go. Why do these bitches need to bring “the nanny” to a child’s event? You can’t be fucking bothered to interact and deal with your kids at another kid’s birthday party? Like why even go? Just fucking send the nanny!
“Don’t take it personally” was not really the correct consolation/apology phrase for the circumstances. How about something more along the lines of “Sorry that I care more about my reality TV life, than I do the attendees at my party, the children, and my own child. Much more accurate. Don’t think she “took it personally.” She just didn’t want her kid listening to you all screaming at each other about dick sucking, and someone’s husband cheating with other men. The woman must be off her fucking rocker, right?
Kenya scolds them for loudly arguing now, after the white white dress lady freaked, when she intentionally played a weird game, with questions to get everyone all riled up.
Also trying to calm everyone down and points out she went nuts on the red dress chick when she was merely trying to let her know that Anthony is walking around town telling folks your husband bangs dudes.
Drew says she didn’t hear the part that Anthony was the one saying it, and she was just letting her know what her assistant is doing. I think that was her confusion anyway. I’m confused about the confusion, and this is kind of a lot.
Whatever. They should all be mad, as Sheree points out in her yap, at Anthony and not at each other.
I observed that Anthony is possibly gay. Perhaps Ralph hit on him? Did a Michael Darby ass grab?
Kenya does this dumb act and fake confusion “oh what have I done?” in her yap. Really who is buying this “who me?”
Suddenly we’re singing happy birthday to poor little Brooklyn, and Kenya claims this gathering was “all about love.”
Drew and Sheree continue to argue as they’re walking out the door.
