I still think Brit’s husband is an asshole, and she won’t be with him much longer.
He seems like quite the challenge to begin with, then when you throw in being on reality TV, and viewers start making judgments, he’s going to start unraveling and she will realize she does not need this loser.
They’re having an extended family dinner. The child attendee points out they don’t usually have lobster. So this is a for-show type of situation. Oh yeah we have a chef coming in and cooking lobster all of the time.
Mike seems to guzzle a lot of champagne, for a guy. Nobody on earth drinks more champagne than Housewives. Or House Husbands. Middle of the day champagne for no reason? Why not?
She calls him ‘reserved and understated.’ Yeah I don’t know about that. He seems pretty vocal to me when he wants to be.
Brit proceeds to rattle off her resume of ex’s which I guess she thinks is impressive.
She calls Mike ‘husband material’ compared to her past relationships of rappers and athletes.
He just does NOT smile. I’ve never seen a dude with such a resting bitch face.
He starts getting grilled by his sister about having a baby.
Although they’re married Brit wants to do have a wedding celebration which he doesn’t want to discuss, for whatever reason. Most likely because he doesn’t want to do it.
Brit and the sister leave the table to ‘get some more champagne.’
When she talks about this 2 million dollar life insurance policy that her dad ‘had’ but passed away when he was transitioning jobs, so her mom was not able to benefit from it, she does not explain the situation adequately.
I just want to clarify this in case she confused anyone with how she worded that.
(And she’s an insurance professional so she should know the correct wording)
What she’s leaving out is that the policy clearly was through his employer, so when he left that job, he no longer ‘had’ the policy as she’s claiming did.
You can easily purchase a life insurance policy that’s not through your job.
Possibly, he had the option to retain the policy, but he would have needed to make the payments, which were probably quite large on a 2 million dollar policy. And he chose not to do that.
I’m also wondering why if he as this huge mega-successful Mortgage Broker or Loan Officer, as she describes, why her mom wouldn’t have had the money for a funeral, and they had to go to Go Fund Me??
Her story is not adding up to me.
So there’s sister drama with Brit because she had them working with her at her insurance company. She mentions that she sold it, so not sure what is going on if she still has it or not. It’s all a bit muddled. Just like her life insurance story.
Mike is feeling left out and worried they’re talking about him, which they are, so he’s lurking around telling them it’s time for dessert.
******
Hennessy margarita? Never heard of such a thing. Made with whiskey, is it really a margarita? In my opinion, it is not.
Porsha meets with Kelli who are not exactly BFF’s due to, I forget. I guess how she mentioned Porsha ‘stealing Simon.’ The catch that he is.
Porsha calling someone loud is rich.
I don’t think Shamea set her up to be ambushed by suggesting she talk to Porsha herself if she has something to say. It makes actual sense, which Housewives rarely do,’ so it’s actually impressive.
But you all know how it is when two so-called best friends, are Housewives. It always ends with the veteran usually throwing her lifelong BFF right under that bus for the sake of Bravo checks. And they seem to do it, completely guilt-free.
******
I knew this was why Drew was pushing so hard to film with Dennis, because she wants to promote her singing. Or lip-synching.
Not sure I love this song. She was lip-synching. She stops and takes her headphones off. and it continues to play.
Cynthia joins. And Kenya and Angela.
Kenya wants to know why Dennis isn’t here if he’s the ‘producer.’
Drew changes the subject to the, what else, champagne. She’s acting uncomfortable. He was supposed to be here she claims, but of course he’s not because Porsha ordered him to not ‘feeeeelm’ with Drew.
She goes hard at selling how she and Dennis aren’t friends AT ALL and don’t talk on the phone EVER, which probably means they’re on the phone a lot.
“It’s a very STRICT business relationship.”
She goes over her many messages to Porsha trying to get together so she could give the heads up that she’s after her baby Daddy.
She goes over all of the various texts, and how Porsha canceled a dinner. So why not at some point just text or call her and say what you need to say. It’s fine to discuss things over the phone. That’s why it was invented in 1876. So you can talk to people without actually being with them.
As Cynthia points out.
I’m sure Drew was fine that Porsha kept putting her off. I don’t really know that she needed her blessing, but a heads up would be nice.
Chances are she already knew about it anyway, so is this all irrelevant? Kind of.
Drew drones and reassures us about his ‘professionalism.’ Do we feel like she’s driving that in a little too hard?
I am sure at the very least, he’s probably flirty. And not that ‘professional.’
Kenya calls her a whore. That does seem harsh but it’s Kenya.
******
Angela and Charles show off a flip they’re working on. Angela as an official Housewife, really wants to do a vow renewal? Is she serious? She doesn’t know the curse?? How does she not know?
I’ve already predicted she’ll get the shits of him and realize that he’s not worth the hassle. She shares that they were already separated right after they got married. That’s a great start, isn’t it?
Love her excuse for him getting kicked out of a B-ball game and arrested being because “the owner does not like Charles.”
Okay so what was he doing? I assume acting like a fool over a play he didn’t like or some typical man-child who stopped emotionally maturing at five, tantrum shit.
She doesn’t really get into that, but guess we could check it out. Seems like a bad sign that she makes excuses for him. I looked it up and it seems like he was sitting near this owner that hates him and was making loud obnoxious comments about him.
They chat about therapy.
Dudes with personality issues are usually against going to therapy because they don’t want to talk about their horrible behavior, nor have it addressed with a third party. Why? Because they’re embarrassed by it.
It always puzzles me as to why they’re not embarrassed to behave that way in front of YOU, but worried what a complete stranger thinks. Make it make sense. You can’t.
Also not a good sign that she thinks they need constant therapy.
She mentions being together in the next ten years, and he says “that’s a long time” and “you never know.”
Red flags are everywhere with this dude.
******
Drew has an appointment with her attorney.
While wearing what looks like toilet paper hanging from her jacket. It looks stupid whatever the hell it is.
So this gets immediately annoying hearing about Ralph living in the basement. While funny, it just doesn’t make any sense as to why he would not just get a place.
Be like my ex-husband, and start shacking up with the side chick three months later, then have the idiocy to deny you were already hooking up prior to the separation. Which was when I found out about yet ANOTHER chick he was hooking up with while we were married. For five fucking years. Can’t make this shit up.
Nice house and a ridiculous job. Also a ridiculous insecure vindictive person.
But you do you.
Of course we know Ralph is manipulative and controlling, and a lying cheating sack of shit. Why would she even want him in the same house as her? This lawyer must not be very good if she’s allowing that to happen.
This is like Sandoval and Ariana ridiculousness on VPR. But different reasoning. There weren’t kids involved.
Wonder if Drew calls an assistant to speak to him when they’re in the same fucking house? Probably.
I think it would have been so boss bitch of Ariana to leave that house and get her own place and away from Sandoval. Why didn’t she? I know, because she’s cheap and lazy.
By insisting on staying there, or not making him leave since he’s the one that cheated, underscored the fact that she was dependent on him because he was the one paying for and maintaining the household.
The attorney says “the ultimate goal is to get Ralph out of the home and proceed with selling it.”
When Bravo relationships go sour, why do they act like when you own a home, and you leave to live elsewhere due to a break-up, you relinquish your rights to it?? That’s ludicrous.
If the fucking house is in your name, it stays in your name, until you change that, not if you leave. So stupid. Who would think that?
Back to VPR for one quick sec, I was seeing so many comments on the chats how that’s why Ariana wouldn’t leave, because if she left, she would lose the house. I guess a lot of VPR viewers aren’t homeowners, or very smart.
Ralph claims he can’t afford another place. You know damned well he just wants to be stubborn, controlling, and a pain in the ass.
The attorney talks about how he’s a serial cheater (I had one of those too, a literal MAN WHORE) and all of his other various antics and all-around slimy fucking behavior.
Following her around being one of them. Yeah mine did that to me too. Even though HE was the one that was cheating.
Cheaters think you are cheating. It’s called their guilty complex and/or projection, and part of their disorder, where their little fucked-up brain can’t rationalize like a normal fucking person. So they don’t even feel stupid or like a hypocrite for accusing you of cheating when he’s fucking like six different women.
******
Shamea’s daughter is excited to go to the hospital to have her tonsillectomy. Why is this child wearing a blazer? Maybe it’s supposed to be a doctor’s coat.
Their doctor even meets them in the parking lot. Wow. Okay. She’s a doctor/parking attendant.
You should be nervous when your child is having surgery. There’s nothing wrong with that. Anything could happen even with a minor surgery.
Shamea’s guy seems sweet and actually like a normal dude that doesn’t have a multitude of personality disorders and inner demons to deal with. I do question how he has so much money installing heating and air conditioning, but I assume that will come out sooner or later.
He looks so friendly and approachable. Opposite of Oakley and Mike who are always scowling and whining like a bitch.
******
Porsha is so annoying. Simon refuses to speak with her to discuss their divorce.
Porsha’s so dumb, she hasn’t caught on yet. She says THIS version of Simon is not her husband. Girl. The man you met, dated and married was the impostor. THIS Simon is the legit Simon. This is what scammers, liars and narcissists do. Every other word out of their mouth is a fucking lie.
This is why you don’t marry a man two seconds into dating him. Dennis was a fucking player and a phony too, like the first husband.
But since she got pregnant four monhts into dating, by the time she saw it, she was getting ready to give birth to his kid.
She seems to be a slow learner,.
I zoned out while she was talking to her mom. It was like Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle Dumbass having a conversation.
******
I think Chance is such a bad name for a child. I guess because it was my dog’s name. I would never name my child that. Especially a girl.
Kelli is hosting her Balmain party as a charity event for her daughter’s bone illness.
Why is everyone talking in the most high-pitched voices. I feel bad for the dogs that had to be present while this was being watched by their moms.
Porsha expresses disappointment that she had her child around Simon knowing what she knows now. Again, see above. Stop with the gold-digging and the marathon into every relationship. Especially if you have a small child.
Drew arrives, in her bra again. Without Ralph she can’t afford a top I guess. She still refuses to talk to Porsha, even though she keeps saying how much she wants to talk to Porsha.
She wants to ‘wait until she bumps into her naturally.’
Shamea and Anglea bicker about I don’t even know.
Just when you think it’s over, they start making fun of each other’s noses.
Shamea apologizes to Drew for asking her if she was dating Dennis. I guess that’s what the big argument is about.
It’s like Dennis is the 8th Housewife.
Bravo LOVES to bring on the ex’s.
Drew reluctantly approaches Porsha. I guess she couldn’t avoid it any longer since they didn’t ‘naturally bump into each other.’
Porsha dismisses the request.
