Below Deck SY 6/12/23 – Episode 1

Still the potty drama. This boat needs to go down for a little rehab to get her shit together. No pun intended. The girls are getting blamed because the blockage is directly under their bathrooms.

Which I can see, girls tend to use more toilet paper because we use it, every time we go. So it’s not like the girls are taking these mammoth shits.

But then maybe I stand corrected. Colin claims, that it’s a literal huge turd that’s causing the blockage. So he can see it? Eeuww. And yes, of course the girls would get blamed.

Well, at least those broads that accused the staff of stealing from them were good tippers.

I posted on a FB chat group about her not saying she was sorry, and I guess one of the women that was with them, is also a member of the group, and said that she did apologize, but they didn’t air it.

That was kind of shitty of Production.

Crew day off, and they’re getting treated to an outing, which means a bunch of drunken fighting, hook ups, and jealous love triangles.

Gary is getting treated to being center of attention at his little birthday celly, which is so unusual, because he’s never ever the center of attention.

This is my worst nightmare.

He summons Daisy to speak to him, and I just don’t even know what to say about the bullshit sob story that he lays on her, and worst part of all?? She’s falling for it, hook line and sinker.

He claims to be so offended over her sarcasm and little ribbing jokes, digs, whatever, she makes at him. Dude, you’re a pussy. Suck it UP. And these are little human nature things people tend to do when they are crushing on someone. Mostly it’s guys doing it to girls but… whatever.

He’s making this shit up to get her to feel bad, then he’s going to start reeling her in, and I’m not even trying to make these boat and fishing references. In her yap, she seems to call a load of crap (sorry) on the whole thing. Then when they go out later, she’s fucking feeling all sorry for him.

She cries to Ileisha about it, and Ileisha being the nice and positive person she is, or maybe she just doesn’t realize how much of a player Gary is, doesn’t advise her to ignore his phoney baloney.

Daisy should actually know better. She feels awwwwwwwwful she says in her yap. Daisy, stop. Gary is the most self-centered fucking twerp, and cares nothing about anyone else’s feelings ever.

And she’s going to feel guilty over a few harmless jokes.

Mads throws Gary a bone and holds his hand at dinner, as he thanks her and clarifies how much he loves affection. It’s kind of cute, except that it’s Gary.

This officially means you can’t talk to Alex now.

Alex reflects in his yap, that maybe be should have been a bit more forward and then perhaps Mads would have gone for him and not Gary. He calls him hyper dramatic (accurate) so if he now tried to move in, it might not be a good idea. It’s funny how he referred to Trashley as clingy last season, when that’s exactly how he is.

Trashley was actually the female version of Gary, she was just able to be a little more disgustingly aggressive, without coming off as a predator since she’s a girl.

You know what I mean? Remember there was that whole drama of her ‘assaulting’ him that night? Really she’s just extremely promiscuous, and forward and it was acceptable, with the woman being the aggressor, mainly because a girl usually can’t overpower a dude.

So, anyway, of course that was never going to work. Not even as a boatmance, not to mention he likes a challenge, and I don’t think any girl in the history of females, is less challenging to get into bed than that chick. I wonder if she was sexually assaulted as a child.

Gary, who forgot he’s a 200 pound dude, and not a 100 pound girl, tries to jump into Lucy’s arms for a pic. I know he’s drunk but dude, come on.

Now he wants the skinny on whether or not Colin is going for Daisy again. And then they proceed to wrestle, and Colin smashes his face into his cake. Okay.

The winner gets Daisy!

I see that Lucy is drinking the good $80 champs straight from the bottle, which she tries to chug and fails, because it’s like carbonated, you know because it’s champagne, and then proceeds to spit it all out. $80 champagne. Thought they weren’t allowed to drink the good shit?? That was hard to watch.

Ding Dong Daisy apologizes to Gary, for his stupid fussing over her joking with him. He claims it hurts coming from her because he “cares for her so much.”

I cannot listen to this dude.

He tries to rationalize in his yap, that his feelings that he has for Mads are different than feelings that he has for Daisy. Guess he realizes (or Producers told him) what a head scratcher this is, since he proceeds to have sex with Mads every night, while professing his love for Daisy. This dude is such a player, and just thrives off of the attention, clearly.

So they stake their claim on their spot for the night.

It’s 2am, and Daisy goes to Colin’s room, and ends up crawling in with him, instead, with Chase in the room, and they make out, and apparently she snores.

******

First thing out of Gary’s mouth the second he sees Colin in the morning, “did you and Daisy hook up??”

He’s so proud of himself for farting, as he crawled into his bunk above them to chase Daisy out.

Do guys ALWAYS act like they’re still ten???

Gary can’t stop mentioning Colin and Daisy. He brings it up out of the blue in the van on the way to their day off destination.

So back to you and you and Daisy

When I watched this initially Monday night, I started really craving Rose’. Gary starts kissing and loving all over Daisy, and she’s not exactly hating it.

I love how this group, overall is normal (except for Gary) and gets along with each other. I think we’re EVEN going to make it until the end with no dramatic firings. There’s little to no drama, really except for Gary, Colin and Daisy. Maybe Bravo is trying something new. Because guess what. The show is still entertaining. I’m actually finding it more entertaining, because I’m not getting myself all cranked up watching someone like that Lexi satanic chick, or more recently, Camille on BDM, getting away with acting like a fucking psycho, and doing very little actual work.

And I really do think Bravo intentionally casts stews or deckhands that they think will do a shitty job, and/or has some sort of borderline or narcissistic personality issue, where they know they’re going to butt heads, and piss people off.

Like even the chef is zero drama!! What is going on with the planets? This is like an apocalypse of some sort.

We can actually just sit back and enjoy the show. I think this Monday, I’ll make popcorn and have some Rose’ and make it a whole big relaxation event.

I don’t know what Colin’s issue is with Ileisha, (am I spelling this right?) She’s the sweetest (and adorbs, not to mention great at her job) drama-free chef in BELOW deck’s history since it’s inception. But for some fucking reason, he keeps making these subtle weird digs at her. Does he secretly like her? She’s had NOT ONE complaint on her food bro!

Okay, so here’s how I think the boat couples should be:

Colin and Ileisha, Gary and Daisy (even though I hate to admit it, they would be cute, if he would get his shit together, and give up the fuck-boy thing) and Mads and Alex. And no, NOT Chase and Lucy. I would never do that to Lucy.

Yes we know Colin had this little bromance thing with Marcos last season, and Marcos was a great chef as well, but to gesture with his hands that Marco was on this whole other ‘next level’ than she is –what the fuck Colin?

Is he jealous that she’s this super cute awesome creative chef, and his job is to cyphon a giant turd out of a pipe??

She calls him a dickhead in her yap.

Fucking Chase of all people, giving him pointers on how to talk to women, tells him you always say “you’re the best.”

So lie through my teeth??”

What is happening? She is an excellent chef. She’s had ZERO complaints. I don’t know why Colin is trying to paint her as average or not that good. What a sexist little fuck. Maybe you’re a shitty engineer. and that’s why the boat is broken every five minutes.

No one goes after her to console her in the restroom since I don’t think any of the girls heard what he said. I can see maybe saying dick-like shit, if she was a miserable bitch. Whatever, this is stressing me out. Anyone would have been insulted over that. Maybe Colin should forget about Daisy, and go bang Marcos, if he thinks that he’s so great.

We had this dude Marcos last season, who was ALSO excellent” would have been fine.

Whatever, moving on to the bigger stupid ass on the boat. Gary is now kicking it up a notch or twelve, and is aggressively flirting with Daisy in front of Colin, and motor boating.

Take THIS Colin!

She seems to be encouraging him, and she’s hooking up with Colin at night

Mads looks on, and points out to Lucy, annoyed – “for real? and when I talk to Alex for two seconds it’s an issue??”

Gary begs Daisy to kiss him. Colin is annoyed, but not saying anything. So the dude has no problem insulting a fucking girl, (this is not the first snarky thing he’s said to Ileisha) but can’t man up, and tell stupid Gary to knock it the fuck off.

Tipsy Alex tells Mad, “you’re so pretty.” Awwwww. But he needs to get it right.

It’s “you’re like, really pretty.” That’s how it goes.

Daisy plants her face on Colin’s right in front of Gary, purposely of course.

Then proceeds to kiss Gary at the table.

What is happening?? Daisy. Girl. Is Colin going to grow a pair and speak up at some point?

Gary tells her that he know she loves him, and has feelings for him, but now they can’t be together…

Guys – like this is literally just because she’s now a challenge for him. And keep in mind, and this is important, Colin is his friend! So what kind of integrity does this asshole have? NONE.

So they leave the table, and Gary announces, as he’s been dying to, that yes, they hooked up. I told ya! This was insinuated I think, at last year’s reunion. I’ll have to look back at my articles from last year, to see what I said. It may have been WWHL. I forget. I think it was the vibe they were giving off at the reunion.

He tells her had he not had covid, and been late coming to the boat, he thinks things would have been different. How so??

I don’t even know where he’s concocting that shit, because Daisy wasn’t even hooking up with Colin until recently. He thinks she’s “getting back at him and spitefully hooking up.” Well, so what if she is?? Isn’t he doing the same?? He immediately went for Mads the second he stepped on this boat.

Not even thinking of Daisy at all.

She points out what a man-whore that he is. I guess he forgets that part.

This dude would NOT be a loyal partner, that is a no-brainer. They argue over how she asked him to stay at her house and he wouldn’t. Okay so now we’re getting into it.

Having sex with you was fucking amazing.” As I pointed out last week, him and his love bombing. He probz doesn’t even remember, honestly. Daisy is clearly pissed and didn’t want this divulged to the world.

You were just DYING to do that !

You can tell the Production induced scenes on here, and you can tell what’s not. Well to be more clear, Gary may have been encouraged to announce their hook up, but Daisy clearly was not clued in, and is pissed as hell.

In her yap, she comes clean about it all, how they hooked up right after the season ended, and again at Disneyland. (I hope not literally IN Disney land) She was hoping for some sort of commitment I guess, but he just wanted to move on and spread his man-whoreness around for all to enjoy.

Daisy want. to move on and move past it, she’s with Colin and not interested. They head back to the boat.

Glenn seems to be enjoying his me time.

Mads is acknowledging that Alex was a much better choice than Captain Toddler Boy, Did you see her on WWHL last week? She also pretty much said, yeah I fucked up. They’re literally such a hot cute fucking couple. Can you imagine their kids??

So poor Alex, he heads up to the hot tub and thinks Mads is coming, because she said she’s coming, then gets sucked in by Gary and ends up hooking up with him. My head is spinning. What is happening here?? Poor guy. He ends up passing out and falling asleep waiting for her.

And keep in mind Gary just claimed to be so saddened and professed his love for Daisy!

She’s an idiot if she’s taking him one bit seriously.

Then there’s so much confusing canoodling and throupling back at the boat, I’m a little thrown off.

Daisy admits to Colin that she and Gary had this fling, and he’s pissed off at her. I don’t get why he’s so shocked. He seems mainly pissed that Gary didn’t tell him, and she explains that she had asked him not to. She asked him not to tell anyone actually.

So then what does he do? Why of course he announces it on fucking camera.

Colin says he feels stupid. Honestly, he should be pissed at Gary. He suddenly decided he ‘liked’ Daisy when Colin stepped it. What kind of friend is that??

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