I want to try to start something new – giving titles to the episodes. Bravo gives them a title, so I didn’t want to just copy theirs or try to compete, but I am going to try to come up with my own and of course make mine cuter and funnier than Bravo.
Gael aborted her mission of meeting Nathan on the bridge deck area of the ship where he says there were no cameras. She gets busted by a dude holding a camera in the galley who wants to get her a mic.
Who knew they were still up lurking around at 3 am? Is the crew privy to their texts while they’re on board in real time?
I kind of wondered that, like how are we seeing these text messages?
Did you watch WWHL Monday when Aesha was on? She said this dude she was seeing, the ‘second engineer’ was being a total douche to her on the phone. I kind of picked up on that, not to brag about being right again.
I had my antennaes up when I saw her apologizing to him for not keeping in touch enough (while she’s working…) Then she ignored his call when they she was eating her lunch. I was thinking that was kind of rude of her, she’s on break, but if he’s been blowing up her phone all day, then that makes sense. And he probably was.
You just need a minute when you have a dude that wants to live up your asshole and thinks you owe it to him to send a ‘text’ every five minutes like you’re in sixth grade and just got a your own phone.
What did these dudes do before there was ‘texting?’ I’m serious. I wonder what my ex BF used to do all day before he could rage text his wife and/or girlfriend for no reason whatsofuckingever. Must have been so bored.
And being an engineer on a boat, I have a feeling that’s not a busy job where you are doing physical labor all day long. He probably has a lot of down time, whereas she does not. So my hunch was correct.
Sandy is switching provision companies. Well I would hope so.
Nathan apologizes to Gael in the morning for being too pushy. Now that’s what a nice decent guy does that doesn’t have 18 personality disorders and mommy issues. Just say you were wrong. It’s easy. Repeat after me – ‘I was wrong and you were right. About everything.’
I’m not totally supporting him for hitting on her when she said she has a boyfriend, and her for being receptive, but if the boyfriend is an overbearing asshole, then I’m allowing it.
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Preference sheet meeting. Hopefully this time Jono pays attention and takes it more seriously. It doesn’t seem to me that chefs used to be this challenged about following the orders on the preference sheets.
I get not retaining every detail that is gone over from the meeting. But I remember in the Ben and Kate era, they were both often referring to it, double checking and refreshing their memory. Now they’re just not. They get hung in the galley, never to be looked at again.
Or have we just h ad a whole slew of bad readers?
Return guests, the tennis chick with her tennis friends, who Sandy became friendly with on the last charter. I thought I recalled that they had already been friends when they were on the first time. At any rate, Sandy wants to impress her of course.
Jono gets a nervous look when Sandy brags how they got seven courses on their last charter (that was with Rachel who she creeped on and love bombed and she’s so traumatized, we haven’t seen her since.) I’m sure she doesn’t want to burn her Bravo bridge so she’s never spoken out, but I think she should. It’s not okay. That behavior would not be tolerated by a man, it shouldn’t be tolerated by a woman either.
Back to Jono, I’m sure with his lack of formal culinary training, seven courses is something he’s just not able to do. This kind of cracks me up when you consider what happens later. Not only does he not do seven courses, but he make almost the most lame dinner ever in BD history.
Jono is concerned about working with the allergies and dislikes of some of the guests.
Suck it buttercup!! Too fucking arrogant to haul your prissy ass out of bed to do what you neglected to do during working hours, so figure it out.
I don’t know about that ‘frozen cucumber drink.’ The color is quite off putting. It looks like slime in a glass.
These guests seem really excited to brag that they’re from DelaWhere?? Since it’s where ‘President’ Biden is from.
Bri and Ellie are both chasing after Joe. That’s going to be drama. He’s being flirty with both of them.
Jono seems very confident about his fish tacos for lunch. He’s already forgetting one of the ladies doesn’t like too much hotness.
Some of them complain about an overbearing spice in his rice. Not knowing the correct amount of seasoning is an issue. Does he not taste anything? It’s probably the Cardamom they’re tasting and disliking.
Rachel shout-out by one of the guests – “it’s not Rachel good, but it’s good.”
Well you might have Chef Rachel, an ACTUAL chef, not this fake one, if your beloved Sandy Captain Sandy hadn’t creeped her out 2 -3 years ago. I feel like I haven’t mentioned it in a minute. I was due. I’ll try to drop it. But I’m right.
Somebody requests laundry (while at the table, that’s tacky.) That drives me crazy – they’re on these boats for less than 48 hours. Stop making these girls, who have 8000 things to do per day to make your experience unforgettable, wash your dirty fucking underwear. It’s so pretentious. It would be a cold day in hell before I would trust a stranger to wash my clothes.
I feel like he put an India/Middle Eastern spin on the tacos for whatever reason, with the chick peas and Cardamom. Cardamom isn’t something you would put in taco seasoning. I don’t mean to sound like a broken record, but a lot of these missteps do speak to his lack of formal training.
I guess Iain spoke too soon proclaiming about his deck team – “no one’s an idiot.” After that they all became idiots.
Joe was too busy flashing his abs and forgot he needs to keep an eye on the guests. To be fair though, she was paddle boarding with Nathan, the other deckhand, so he was probably assuming she was in good hands. And if they were drifting towards shore, that could be worse. Sandy gets all dramatic about it.
Iain gets kind of pissy when Sandy blames him and tells him to apologize to Gigi, the primary. As bosun why couldn’t he just have sucked it up instead of getting all whiny about it like a little bitch. It’s unprofessional.
I think it’s getting blown out of proportion considering she was accompanied by Nathan. I don’t think this kid would have let anything happen to her.
He whines to Gael about it, who was on a break at the time.
Jono seems to have changed his tune about the late night snackers on the last charter. He now seems apologetic to Ellie, and realizes it was his fault. It was such a bad look for this guy. “I haven’t slept enough.” Seriously? Man the hell up.
The little tiff between them over this seems to have been resolved and Jono wants to move forward.
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I don’t know what possesses Jono to serve chicken for dinner. I think there was one guest that didn’t like seafood but that’s no reason to serve everyone chicken.
‘Chicken is for poor people’ as another disappointed guest proclaimed several years ago with the same dinner fowl. Get it? Dinner fowl??
He seems quite pleased with it as he’s preparing it. If he just would have put a seafood item, like shrimp, on the side, I think it would have gone over much better.
What made this chicken thing extra painful, is that they’re doing this bougie synchronized white glove service for this shit dinner. It also seems like it’s very scant. It’s just this teeny chicken breast, sauce, and a piece of zucchini and asparagus.
Jono is such is such a fucking weenie. Aesha asks what the dinner entails and he says “just read the menu honey.”
Wow. Condescending much? You’re making them serve this fucking diner food, and you have the nerve to be pissy when she merely asked what the dish description is? Sandy gives him kind of a look. She’s immediately annoyed at the chicken. And his attitude.
Well she helped create this monster with her “don’t ever wake the precious chef” fucking BS.
Is he getting fired soon? He’s annoying AF.
The ladies are immediately disappointed, and you can’t really blame them. One complains there’s too much rosemary. No one says a word as they’re eating it.
Well whatever, I don’t feel THAT bad for them. Remember they get a huge discount to agree to be filmed, and this is why.
Okay so the dessert. That turns into a whole thing too. Again, due to his lack of training, first of all he makes sponge cake on a bougie yacht, there’s that. Second of all, he doesn’t understand the ‘deconstructed’ concept and it’s true meaning.
He seems to be taking it literally and thinks it means taking something apart, since he’s breaking pieces off of the cake, which isn’t helping his presentation at all.
It actually means putting a modern or your own spin on a classic dish.
So to add insult to injury, to insult to injury, it’s a diner style dessert, just like the main, and the presentation sucks ass. The sorbet is an unpleasant pink/red color, not to mention sorbet doesn’t really go with cake. You need something creamy like ice cream or whipped cream.
It really looks like something a child would proudly make for their mom for her birthday or Mother’s Day.
Also the cake looks like turds. Aesha calls in “poop on a platter.” She looks at it in disbelief.
Nobody fucking likes it. It LITERALLY looks like shit, and apparently tastes like it too. They say it’s unusual and is not chocolatey.
The evening post-dinner festie is a Toga Party with Sandy as the judge.
Jono takes the 8:30ish breakfast completely literally and has it ready to serve at exactly 8:30 despite the fact that no one is even up. Serving times are subject to change. He should know this. He shouldn’t have been pushing forward if no one was even up. It’s like this dude cannot deviate from the plan and schedule at all.
Which explains why he couldn’t get up and make snacks for the previous guests.
Being a chef on a super yacht does not seem like the place for someone like that.
He has the eggs in the pan and the table is not even set and no guest is out of their cabin. He could have made the tostados, and had everything ready, but not made the eggs or did the assembly until they were up and seated. Did this guy just start doing this yesterday? He’s in his own world it seems.
At the point they’re ready to sit down, they’ve been sitting for an hour and a half. He can’t even do a quick reheat I guess?
The primary chick is pissed and informs Sandy that the lunch, the dinner AND the breakfast were all terrible. That’s a pretty non-impressive record.
This guy really does believe he’s crushing it. That’s pretty embarrassing.
That’s all three meals for these guests that sucked.
Sandy immediately calls Jono for discussion.
I see this guy not taking criticism well. Sandy may be changing her tune on the ‘never ever wake the chef’ rule that she made up for this charter.
Because you know, she’s Sandy Captain Sandy, she makes up rules as she goes.
By the way, who misses Kyle ?? Didn’t think so.
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