What is Dave doing? Dunking his head in a pot of water? Is it hot water? With ice? It looked like it was steaming. I’ve heard of putting your face in ice cold water in the morning. It’s supposed to be good for your skin, (along with waking you up) Jennifer Aniston supposedly does it.
New guests are investment bankers/ex football players.
There is a new chick coming, and Tash does her sedated super-important sounding yap talk giving Kyle undeserved accolades. She is worried because she “doesn’t get a long with Nat.”
She’s forgetting that they all actually did get along, it wasn’t until Nat got frustrated with all of Tash’s boy drama and slacking, and Kyle’s boy drama and slacking, and her favoring Kyle, thus making her pick up slack, and she got frustrated. Tash didn’t like what she had to say, but tough titties. This is different then “not getting along” with someone.
What cracks me up about these charters is that they are for two day. Even if you’re fucking loaded, this is a lot of money for 48 hours. I’m assuming people that are traveling to Europe from America or other countries, are probably spending additional time in Europe, not just doing this two day yacht thing and going home? That’s a long plane ride for two days.
So the way this chick is dressed when she’s arrives, do we think she dressed like this due to the cameras, or would she have arrived like this anyway? stilettos, really? I would have been less judgmental about her outfit, although it was a lot, (or a little) if she would have just worn wedges, flat sandals, or little cute sneakers with this outfit. Why would she arrive during the day, dressed like she’s going clubbing. Or standing on a corner. Who walks around dressed like this during the day. We get it. You’re hot, but save this outfit for the night out. Looks desperate and makes me not respect her already. I guess since she’s only here for one dang charter she wanted to pull out all the stops. Like here I AM! Am I the prettiest??
She sounds really smart, she speaks several languages, Not sure why she’s dressed like a floosie then, and wants to be a floating maid and scrubbing toilets, but whatever. They flash pics, I think I like her better as a brunette.
Doesn’t Dave have to cook for the crew. I keep seeing a lot of pizza and take out cartons. Nat shows Ellie the laundry room ropes. She doesn’t know how to set up the ironing board. Maybe it was the ironing board.
And here we go, just when we thought it was safe… to get back on the boat,
The BF/EX BF has reared his narc insane head again, and decides to start harassing Tash. Did we really think after the “fuck off” thing (which I suspect was manufactured by production, I think he was sent outside to ‘check on’ Tash) that he was just going to disappear? The freak stewed for like 4 days or whatever (it’s hard to know exactly the days and time passage in real time) and now of course he’s back.
She’s not smart enough to ignore him, so he gets his way, as they normally do, she engages with the psycho, instead of doing her fucking job and ignoring it.
“It’s mental health day, today” Dave tells her. Makes sense why captain crazy reaches out to her today.
Reid seems to think every pretty girl is the most stunning chick on the planet. Are there no attractive girls in Alabama?
Guests arrive. Pancake dude is barking out his pancake orders already. I’m sorry, I just think that’s weird. I know, they pay whatever for this two day experience, like $200g, so they should get what they want lalala, but demanding fucking pancakes, of all things for every meal a minute after your arrival, is the dorkiest fucking thing I ever heard. Especially when you hear all of his stupid demands. Does he go through that spiel every fucking time he orders them in a restaurant?
Does he know how many times his pancakes have been licked by the cook with those weird demands? And if God forbid he sends them back, they’re probably wiping their asses with them. But dude, you do you.
I totally thought Nat was English like Dave and Tash. I even looked up everyone’s country of origin recently, and could have SWORN it said Nat was from England. Her accent does not sound that different than Tash and Dave’s.
So Reid is the only American, besides Sandy. That’s one thing that would make this job fun, don’t you think? Meeting and interacting with people from all over the world. Australia, Africa, now Slovania. So cool. It’s funny to hear them Know nothing about American stuff, like football and pounds, (and pancakes apparently)
Koala bears apparently scratch (I can see that, they do have claws) and carry chlamydia. Good to know. So koala bears are a bunch of sluts and man whores. Do you have to have sex with them to get it from them, or would just holding them transmit it? No one asked that, or made a joke.
The primary guest gets told “you don’t look fancy enough for this.”
Like no shit. Dude is wearing a sleeves cut off black T-shirt. This dude dresses exactly like my ex-husband. (my daughter tells me he watches BD – lol) No matter where he went or what we did, T- shirt or flannel with sleeves cut off was his outfit of choice. Out to dinner, black T shirt or flannel with sleeves cut off (mostly T-shirts), a function for the kids, T shirt or flannel with sleeves cut off, to the gym, T-shirt with sleeves cut off. He has tattoos too. Jesus christ he looks just like my ex-husband, except he’s loaded. (I assume)
So yes I agree, on a super yacht, lose the fucking T-shirt with sleeves cut off. He kind of reminds me of my ex too. Overweight and gross, and thinks he’s hot fucking shit. At least he’s wearing a necklace. He even accessorized his ‘I’m a trailer trash bum’ look. Dumb ass.
Being offered “still or sparkling” at meals is a European thing too.
I like how Dave always goes up to explain to the guests the food descriptions. A lot of the chefs don’t do that, and if they do, the chief stew has to ask them to.
Now the ex-BF wants to be the current BF again. Of course she talk- to- texts him in the galley, so Dave can hear, and he thinks she’s talking to him.
Hey I have an idea Trash, block him, or put your fucking phone in your fucking cabin. There is no need for these stews to carry their phones around all day. It shouldn’t even be allowed.
Ellie walks straight into the glass door carrying a stack of plates.
It’s funny when the new stews say they’re not good in service, or have to learn it or whatever. Like this isn’t hard to clear and set tables, deliver plates of food and drinks, and be fake nice to these people.
Tash retreats to her room to deal with jackass. Honestly, since she likes to fuck with dudes, it would drive him INSANE (I know short putt) if she just ignored or blocked him. He would go NUTS. She was pretty good at ignoring Dave when he was sharing a 20 SF cabin with her, pretty sure she can pull off ignoring a dude in another whole fucking country.
Okay so it’s the Vegas/casino night tonight – oh my God do not make bar food Dave lol !! (not that he would) Do you guys remember when Hannah (this was start of her downward spiral I think) told that really cute new chef, who wasn’t that experienced) to make like wings and nachos and ‘bar food’ for their Vegas night? I don’t know what kind of places Hannah went to in Vegas, but nachos and wings does not represent Vegas. Vegas is fine dining. That poor dude ended up getting fired after that and Hannah never told Sandy it was her idea.
Okay so the much anticipated pancake talk. I need to play closer attention this time. Monday night I thought he said he wanted them fluffy inside, but viewers on Twitter said that he said “not fluffy” and that’s what caused the confusion, and why Dave made crepes and not pancakes.
Okay so I was wrong, (whatttt??) “Not too fluffy” he said. Also “crispy around the edges.” Seems like he just likes them a little more cooked then they sometimes are when you get them in diners or fast food places. Probably because they’re in a hurry to cook them.
He also goes into explicit instructions about using coconut oil and placing it in the middle of the batter – guessing he meant in the batter when he’s scooping the batter on the skillet?? Dave is looking at him like he’s an idiot, he is an idiot. Dave’s not doing that the coconut oil thing, I can tell you that right now. Dave doesn’t seem that familiar with making pancakes, he’s looking sort of puzzled. Or not really listening. I was thinking maybe pancakes are an Ameican thing, and that’s why the confusion.
Ellie tells Sandy how she was involved in a catastrophic storm when she was working on a boat.
She was on a boat that lost engine power during a storm in Norway. So truth be told, I thought she was exaggerating when she says “I’m lucky to be alive” (have been so used to Tash and Kyle and their constant over overdramatizing I guess) But when she goes on to finish the story to Sandy, it does sound like she’s lucky to be alive. They had helicopters evacuating everyone. The boat looks like one of those Carnival type cruise ships.
Speaking of Kyle, who misses him?? I sure DO NOT !!
Okay so I guess now that I’m watching for the second time, the pancake fail was to be predicted because Dave refers to them as ‘crepes’ when he’s talking with Tash. So that would kind of tell me he wasn’t really listening to the dude. He clearly said pancakes.
He did kind of have a dazed look on his face. I think his head is still up Tash’s ass. He heard her scolding the now-ex, so now he’s like wondering again, if there is a chance for him, again.
Also Tash should have picked up on the fact that he says ‘crepes.’ Because they are actually very different. Similar ingredients and concept, but different in the way of how they are served. Crepes usually are filled folded over and filled with fruit or something.
Check out my recipe on my site. I fill mine with cherries. You can also do peaches, strawberries, blueberries. Anything!! I have a pancake recipe too! Here are the links!
Even if she wasn’t sure if they were the same, she should have noticed what he said, and told him maybe he should double check with the guest. Also Tash says ‘pancakes’ when she tells him he said he eats them for breakfast lunch and dinner.
I feel like the discrepancy could have, and should have been caught in this conversation, with an experienced chef and chief stew, if she didn’t have her head up her ass, and he didn’t also have his head up her ass. Okay I think I’ve discussed fucking pancakes enough for now.
Guest Jordan does a tumble in his tube thing, wipes out, loses his gold chain “that costs as much as a house” and seriously thinks he can gets some diver to dive 20 feet, or whatever that is in meters, down to the bottom of the fucking bay and look for it. Courtney humors him and runs it by Sandy, who laughs. She doesn’t care.
Stupid ass wearing a big loose necklace like that to get lugged around in a floatie by a jet ski, and is surprised it got lost.
“Losing Kyle (as if he died) Tash says, is enabling her to get closer to Natalya.” Translation: Tash realizes what a hard worker, and what an asset she is in service, and regrets bumping her to cleaning all season because she favored Kyle.
Reid is chatting up Ellie. I don’t really see him as a master flirt and ladies’ man but he seems to think he is.
Courtney delivers the bad news to Jordan, that the chain has moved on to Spain. The chain is in Spain. She goes on to do a little bit about the lost chain in her yap, and I have no idea what she said. Except for Spain.
Ellie, loving her already, she HAPPENS to have a Playboy Bunny costume on her. That’s my kind of girl, have playboy bunny, will travel.
Pretty sure that fits in with Vegas theme. There was a club in Vegas at one point, I think.
Courtney: “I want to be a Playboy Bunny.”
Ellie: “I’ve actually got two costumes.” This is a girl after my own heart. I mean, what kind of fucking idiot would only have ONE Playboy Bunny Costume. Duh.
Storm is dressed like John Travolta, or a pimp. Was this one of her costumes too??
Nat and Court enter the dinner area in their bunny costumes (they are a little low budget looking) and the guest is confused. Courtney explains “well we’re cocktail waitresses, Vegas. No you dummies there was a Playboy Night Club in Vegas in Playboy heydey. Duhh. That’s what they should have said.
Does he know he’s dressed like Hugh Hefner?? (crossed with Mr. T) They could have said that too.
Again, why do I have to know everything,
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Playboy_Club_(Las_Vegas)
Was Dave even listening to this stupid ass’s Pancake cooking tutorial? Did he even say ‘thin? ’ I never heard him say ‘thin.’ He said “not too fluffy and crispy edges.”
So Dave makes crepes, as he said earlier. I mean even if pancakes are an American thing, with Dave being such an experiences chef, and assuming he’s worked with Americans before, I would have expected him to know what the consistency of a pancake is. Why did he think this dude would want dry ass plain crepes? Crepes are meant to be filled with fruit filling, or egg, or Nutella… whatever
(Make sure you check out my Bravo-inspired recipes on my site in the Recipe category!)
Once again the dude that dresses like my ex-husband, is dressed like my ex-husband, in a T-shirt (no cut-off sleeves though) and baseball cap. For dinner.
Okay so here we go, the crepes get served and they do not look good at all. Blowing them with a blow torch, not a good idea. Dave what the literal fuck? Sandy sees them and says “those are crepes.” Yeah no shit. Tell Dave to pay attention, and stop worrying about Natasha’s relationship status.
He’s not eating these. He says he doesn’t want that and he’s having a tantrum like any six year old would that orders pancakes for dinner.
Was Dave listening to the same flippin pancake convo that we were? Sandy says he wants pancakes, and Dave tells him he wants the opposite. No! Like what the fuck, this is so NOT complicated. I don’t think the dude’s instructions could have been much clearer. If he wasn’t paying full attention, and I can see how he may have zoned out, he should have gone and confirmed with him later. I don’t want to write the word ‘pancakes’ one more fucking time! And now I’m hungry for Pancakes!!
Dave claims in his yap he was told he doesn’t want ‘American style’ pancakes. I do not believe that was ever said. The word American was not uttered. At all. “Not too fluffy with crispy edges” and something about a glob of coconut oil in the batter. Which sounds gross.
Now THIS is Vegas night Hannah!!! Not chicken nuggets and cheeze whiz!!
Dave consults with the whoever he is, about pancakes again, and he’s going to give it another shot. Why does he not look up a basic pancake recipe online (does he want mine – I have a great one) and just make sure it’s well done and do his coconut oil shit. Done.
This isn’t hard. I’m getting frustrated with this, I’m not gonna lie. So Dave basically made the same fucking thing again, just slightly thicker. This is excruciating let’s just give this shit up. The dude is only here for two fucking days, surely he can survive without stupid empty calorie pancakes.
In Dave’s defense, I guess you could use the excuse that he’s too used to fine dining and gourmet style cooking, that he can’t handle a fucking pancake
The guest is not being a total douche about it. At this point it is just funny. He tries to eat it. He hates it. I’m sure it has no taste.
This asshole seriously wants Dave to make spaghetti noodles for this dude to snort through his nose? Should these dorks really be on a super yacht in the Med, or should their vacation be more like Ocean City?
Don’t get the pearls with Storm’s disco duck look. It sort of adds to it looking more like a pimp.
Ellie asks Reid to help her clean up, and he of course does, he’s up until 4 am helping her. Or maybe he was on night duty?
So the moment we have all been waiting for. Dave starts getting the harassing messages from Psycho Texter. Calls him a bully over those messages he was sending her that night she started ignoring him every time he tried to speak to her. Why doesn’t he just block him?
“He’s not my boyfriend.” Well he was five minutes ago. Dave tells Tash he’s not a bully and it’s one thing he hates in life.
“I’ve never been aggressive towards you.” She puts her head down and chuckles.
Tash stop, the dude is hardly aggressive. He sobbed like a pussy that night you played your fucking head games. She got called a name or two with some pissy messages, I would hardly refer to it as ‘bullying’ unless it continued, which it did not, and he apologized profusely. More than I think he even needed to.
The harassment this dude has been giving her, that she endured and these TWO fucktards are calling Dave a bully?
That’s fucking rich. They play the flashes of his texts calling her a slut, not bullying, telling her he’s sick of pussy footing around with her, NOT bullying, the sweet kind of pathetic message he sent her recently, NOT fucking bullying.
Why would she have conveyed this to that freaking head case?
Tash runs to her room, Dave looks like he’s texting him. No one is smart enough to just block this sick son of a bitch, that’s too easy. Viewers are sick of this ‘story line’ already. We’re over it.
This psycho is getting more camera time than any of the crew for crissakes.
